Embers
by Equuleus86
Summary: For Carol Peletier, every day feels like an insurmountable struggle to get out of bed and face another day, until a face she never dreamed she would see again turns her world upside down. Some things never die.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

**WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I can't believe this moment is finally here, and now that it is I'm absolutely freaking out!**

**Before we get into it, I just want to take a moment to thank two very special ladies, without whom none of this would exist. Emily and Alli, you two are my absolute faves! I know we fight sometimes (Em) but it's all for the cause and thanks to you I have what I reckon might turn out to be my best thing ever. You two have helped me so much you have absolutely no idea, sitting through pain in the arse edits and rewrites and screaming even when you both had your own shit to do so from the bottom of my heart I thank you! I must insist dear readers if you have found this page, please go check out the amazing works of _kaoscraze_ and _allidon_ \- they will honest to God blow your frillies clean off. Also hayooge thanks to Em for my cover photo ya wee babe!**

**Anyway this story came to me while I was scrubbing pots and listening to tunes (as you do) and I kid you not, one lyric of a song stuck in my head and I suddenly had this picture that wouldn't go away. The idea was one I hadn't heard before and I've been paranoid since I started writing this that some bugger that was better or quicker at typing than me would beat me to it. I have SLAVED over this story, it's taken over my life and delayed me on other things that should really be taking priority. That's how much I want you to love this story. The shape and plot of this story have changed so many times it's agonising. I won't spoil it, I want you to discover the journey between these two on your own. It is an AU but you smart cookies would have realised that. There are also flashbacks for a bit too, they're pretty self evident too. Sooooo… my dears, I hope you're ready for this, because I've been ready for MONTHS! It's not even finished yet (risky business for me considering I change things on a whim!) but for now, feast thine peepers on a tale of angst, love, friendship and the belief that no matter what life throws at you, some things never die.**

**I give you Embers.**

**Disclaimer: TWD and its characters do not belong to me in any way whatsoever, but FEELINGS DO!.**

Chapter 1

"Okay my turn," she said, sucking the spoon clean and thinking hard. "Cat or dog?"  
"Cat, every single time," he replied without missing a beat.  
"Oh yeah right, since when were you a cat person?"  
"Since forever!"  
"Pfft! You've never petted a pussy in your life."

They exchanged an immature look and erupted into fits of laughter.

"What the hell?!" he finally caught a breath, sending her rolling backwards with a playful shove. "Thought you were 'sposed to be a good Christian girl?"  
"Oh God," she giggled, sitting up and trying to compose herself. "Right, you're up… and give me a hard one this time!"  
"Haha! Betcha say that to all the guys!" He laughed.  
"Only the cute ones…" she teased.  
"Pfft, yeah right." He shook his head and tried to hide a shy smile.  
"Are you blushing?" She put down the tub of ice cream. "Oh my God Daryl that is so cute!"  
"Stop. Look are we playin' this damn game or not?"  
"Oh hell no, I have a better game. Let's See What Makes Daryl Go The Reddest!"  
"Aw hell woman, ain't ya got no one else ya can pester?"  
"You're so adorable you know. Look at your little red cheeks!"  
"You're crazy, ya know that?"  
"Only about you." she smiled.

He processed her last statement for a moment before looking up to meet her stare. The humour was gone from her face now; she was still smiling, but it wasn't the same teasing grin she'd just been bugging the hell out of him with. The faint glow in her own cheeks didn't go unnoticed, nor did the shy little smile pulling at the corners of her lips. Just as he was thinking of something to say to break the awkward silence, she let out a loud cackle.

"Dammit Carol! Ya try'na give me a heart attack?" he laughed nervously.  
"Oh you're too damn easy to wind up Dixon," she tutted, shoving him with her foot.

He inwardly breathed a sigh of relief and felt the tension melt away as the usual jokey ease settled in between them once again. He fidgeted with the frayed knee of his pants, absently picking at the flap and letting it slap against his knee. His faraway expression didn't escape her notice.

"Okay spill," she probed, her eyes seeking his like missiles.  
Daryl shot her a quick glance and returned his gaze to his ragged knee. "S'my old man. Fell off the wagon again. Hell I think this is the worst he's ever been."  
"God Daryl, I knew something was bothering you. Why didn't you say anything?"  
"Ain't your problem. Besides, nothin' ya can do."  
"What you gonna do?" Carol eyed him with concern.  
"Not much I can do," he looked up, "stay out of his way."  
"You can stay here?" She suggested.  
"I'm a big boy, can take care of myself." He managed a half smile.

He knew it was a half truth, but it would placate her for now. That was the last thing he needed, her worrying about him and inevitably getting involved. It did his heart some good to know she cared so much but it also filled him with dread. Daryl had enough to worry about without adding Carol's safety to the chaotic swirl in his head. She had never met his father, and never would if he had anything to do with it. She'd never been to his house; his life was so far removed from hers that he thought she'd take one look at the dungeon he called home and wouldn't think twice about sticking her nose in.

She had become his best friend since he had moved to Senoia two years ago and started at her school. He didn't know anybody and made a conscientious effort to keep his head down and not attract any attention to himself. He was a loner and always had been. When he walked he kept his eyes trained on the ground and his face was always hidden behind a mop of ragged dirty blond hair which was gradually turning darker. Daryl shielded himself from the world, hunching into himself like a hedgehog instinctively curls up into a ball. Carol had zoned in on him though. While everyone else barely noticed his existence, she attached herself to him and despite his initial protestation she wouldn't leave him the hell alone and he gave in to her persistence. In the beginning it was hard for him; he'd never really had what he'd call a friend. He would hang around by himself, finding what solace he could from the forest, away from people. Having someone there was new to Daryl, and it took a while for him to learn that it was alright to let someone in. He'd never have thought in a million years it would be a girl. Daryl didn't think he was much to look at so it came as a surprise that Carol Grant - arguably the most beautiful girl in his year - chose to adopt him as her best friend. It took a while for them to grow into the comfortable ease that they now shared, but there was still so much she didn't know about him. If he had anything to do, it was make damn sure that she never knew half of the horrors that he'd gone through, or still did. He wasn't sure if she had picked up on it, but he liked her. She was his best friend, but as she blossomed into womanhood, he was beginning to see just what she was to him. It was more than just friendship, but he knew she'd never see him that way and as much as it hurt him to admit, he would just have to accept it. He'd rather have her as a friend than not at all.

"Carol! Honey it's getting late, come on in now."  
Carol rolled her eyes at her mother's voice ringing up from below. "Okay Mom, be right down."  
"Hi Daryl!"  
"Hey Mrs G," he called down.  
"You staying for supper?"  
"Umm, no thanks, I really should get back."  
"Okay, one night soon then. Goodnight!"

The click of the back door followed by the dog's muffled barking indicated they were alone again. Carol looked at him with disappointed eyes and stood up to see him off.

"You could stay for a little while?" she asked hopefully.  
"Nah, better get back and check he's okay." Daryl eyed her curiously. "Y'alright?"  
Carol nodded and produced a weak smile. "Fine. Just wish you could stay."

Daryl gave her a half smile in agreement and made his way to the ladder. As he swung his leg onto the top rung and looked up at her one last time he was smothered by a soft cloud of auburn curls as she leaned down and caught him with a peck on the cheek that nearly sent him sprawling to the ground in surprise.

"What was that for?" he gulped, his face and ears filling hotly with colour.  
"Kiss for luck," she said quietly, her smile tinged with sadness.  
"Pfft, stop. See ya tomorrow."

Carol watched him descend and jump the fence at the side of her garden. He looked up and nodded goodbye at her and disappeared behind the house.

What the hell had just happened? The burn of his ears and cheeks told him it was more than a kiss for luck. He could have used the luck for sure, but for now the feeling that unravelled in his stomach from the tingle on his cheek where her lips had just been… he would take it. Daryl headed for home, knowing that whatever mood the beast was in, it couldn't stomp out the feelings that were stirring in his chest.

_**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**_

This summer was allegedly the hottest ever. So far the weathermen had it spot on and he hated those smartasses. Leather wasn't a practical choice for a day like this; it was stuck to his arms and chafing him like hell but he knew taking it off would have him burnt to a crisp before the afternoon was out. The hour he'd already spent welded to his motorcycle had been a pain in the ass, and he thanked the Lord he was almost there. The machine was scorching to the touch and he'd uttered more than a few colourful words along the road as his leg had ridden a little too close and the metal had seared him through the holes in his knees. He hated wearing a helmet, and in the humidity it had become close to intolerable. His head itched with the heat and sweat, and he just couldn't wait any longer.

The bike puttered to a halt as he stopped at the corner house he'd been looking for and kicked the stand out. He ripped his helmet off and threw it on the grass in frustration. The air hit his sweltered face in a welcome wave and he sucked in a deep lungful of it. He closed his eyes and sniffed the air, the familiar smell of home filling his nose, and let out a sigh of relief that for a while he could rest.

His eyes opened and he turned his gaze on the house. It looked abandoned; the garden was wildly overgrown, and the windows were bare and dirty. It was a sorry sight to behold, and he felt a pang of guilt as he surveyed the scene. Memories flooded back from the day he'd left town, eyes burning as he followed his old man and Merle, not wanting to leave but having no choice. He'd have given anything to tell them to shove it, but he was a coward, and rather than stand up for himself he did what came easiest and bailed out. His stomach tied itself in knots, wishing he could go back and rewrite time. He'd been a stupid kid; if he could've met his younger self he'd have kicked some sense into him. Hell, what did it matter? It was a hundred years ago. He snorted at his own pathetic attempts at remorse and got off to grab his helmet. Then a thought glinted in his head and he wondered for a moment.

Making his way around the side of the house through the overgrown footpath, he came to the start of the fence he'd jumped over so many times as a teenager and looked up. It was still there. It had seen better days, granted, but the treehouse was perched up in the boughs of the big old tree in Carol's back garden, welcoming him back like an old friend. As soon as he saw it he felt like he'd come home. He stood behind the fence for a moment and just looked at the beat up wooden shack. He wanted to climb that rickety old ladder with the wobbly slats and find her sprawled on her belly reading with her chin in her palms. But he stood rooted to the spot, frozen in apprehension. If he went up there he would feel like an intruder, a betrayer. All of a sudden it didn't look so welcoming and he felt like the house had him gripped in a horrid glare, unwelcoming and unfriendly; it knew what he had done, and it didn't take kindly to the return of this faceless jerk, coming back like he had the right.

Snorting again but this time at how much of an ass he was being, he put his hand on the rail and vaulted over. The seared grass crunched under his boots as he sized up the house. Whether it welcomed him or not, he was going up.

The wood still held some weight, he would just need to be careful as he climbed the ladder. It had always been unsteady anyway, and if the worst came to the worst he could always get a foothold on the tree trunk. It held though, and as his head peered over the last rung he paused. Daryl really did feel like he was home now. The ridiculous possessed treehouse notion fizzled away and he hauled himself into the small cabin. It was definitely a tighter squeeze than he remembered, but then he had been a scrawny young pup. The years had seen him fill out considerably and his ridiculous choice of clothing on the hottest day of the year was making movement frustrating and harder than it should have been. He'd finally had enough. Angrily he freed his arms from the sticky leather and hurled the jacket at the side of the house. The relief was immense; his skin breathed as his sleeveless shirt clung to his drenched back. The comparative coolness of the air inside the little cabin was bliss, like a clear pool in the parched desert.

With his restrictive leather gone he could finally breathe and take in his surroundings. The same woody smell filled his nose, the same sights greeted him, and the floorboards creaked under his weight in greeting. Carol's pile of battered magazines were still strewn in the corner, like she'd just got up to go to the bathroom and would be back any minute. A leak in the roof had glued pages to the floor and the rest were curling at the edges with the humidity. Most of the text and pictures were an indecipherable blur punctuated with the odd wash of yellowed colour. He smirked at the mess; she'd never been the tidiest of girls. Somehow he found comfort in the disarray of pages stuck to the floor where she'd left them. It was like she was still here. Magazines aside, he could feel her presence, like her spirit was woven into the grain of the wood. A thousand memories lived within these four walls, each one playing in his mind like a cinema reel.

He sat down next to the scattering of water buckled pages, running his hand over them and picking lazily at the edges. A dark bundle in the corner caught his attention and he stared at it for a moment, recognition suddenly igniting in his eyes. He leaned over and grabbed it, pulling himself up again and examining the garment in his lap. His sweater.

It was damp and he was sure he had seen a huge motherfucker of a spider scurry under the floorboards when he moved it. Seeing it, holding it in his hands again rattled his emotions a little. She loved this sweater. He'd given her it to wear one day when she was cold and she'd never given it back. She wore it casually slobbing out up here on lazy days and sometimes she slept in it. Back then it had smelt of her and he would take sly sniffs when she wasn't wearing it. He brought it up to his nose and inhaled. He immediately reeled back at the bitter, damp stench. Of course it wasn't going to smell like her after fifteen years in a leaky wooden shack. _Dumbass_

He studied it in his hands and his thoughts drifted to Carol. The magazines spread over the floor didn't bother him; part of the reason he'd loved spending time with her was she didn't stand on ceremony for visitors and the world took her as they found her, which was usually sprawled out in a sea of magazines and sweet wrappers. The mess was comforting and familiar. What niggled away at him was the sweater, her favourite claimed item of his, lying abandoned and forgotten in the corner. She loved that sweater, and it had been something that connected them. He would see her wearing it and feel content, knowing that it was something of his that she wrapped herself in and even if he wasn't there in person she would still have a part of him to snuggle up to. Seeing it festering in the corner made his gut ache and he knew that it was his fault.

His mind wandered to wherever she might be now. A stab of jealousy ripped through him as he considered the very real possibility that she was happily married with kids and a big old family home in the country with a dog. He couldn't process the thought, and yet he felt it truthfully in his heart. It was unrealistic and selfish of him to expect her to put her life on hold after him but he wanted it so badly to be true. She was his Carol, and the thought of another man calling her his and her being happy about it left a bad taste in his mouth. Anger bubbled below the surface. Angry at her. Angry at himself, his old man, Merle.

With his arms locked around his knees he bowed his head and stared at the floor, the light dancing through the gap in the roof making shapes on the mottled wood. Coming up here was like a damn time capsule. He'd had some dumb ideas in his life but this had to be up there with the dumbest. He hadn't known what he was hoping to achieve by this little wander down memory lane, but it wasn't this. His stomach swirled with anger and hurt and resentment. All he'd felt when he'd coasted back into town was a warm, familiar nostalgia of somewhere he'd called home for a while and almost instantly he was drawn to her old home. Now in place of rosy nostalgia he felt bitter and guilty and sick.

He lobbed the sweater back into the corner and huffed an irritated sigh. What was the point of all this? Not a damn thing. Hoping and praying and wishing never did him any good in the past. This wasn't him, this wasn't his life anymore. The past was gone… she was gone. It hurt to accept, but the fact remained and he would just have to get over it.

He grunted to his feet and grabbed his jacket from the crumpled heap on the floor and headed for the ladder, desperate to get out of there, away from the feelings choking him.

With a last look at the abandoned sweater and pile of aged magazines, he climbed out into the humidity again and left his ghosts in the treehouse.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**

**Well here we are at Chapter 2 already folks! I probably should have mentioned this last week, but this will be (if I can keep up my current writing pace) a chapter a week fic. I hope to not keep anyone waiting longer than a week for updates!**

**I want to say a big thank you to anyone who read, favourited, followed or reviewed Chapter 1. I LOVE hearing what you thought, good or bad (but preferably good!) even if you don't have much to say, just letting me know you enjoyed it makes my face light up! Reviews are not essential but dear God I do love them!**

**This chapter as you will see delves into a certain lovely lady's life in the here and now, and a bit about her state of mind. I really hope I've done these characters justice, but again I had a ton of help from my besties kaoscraze and allidon (go check out their fab works also!) I don't have much experience in certain fields so I've tried to imagine what I would be feeling given the same circumstances. Anyway without much further ado, here is the next piece of the puzzle. Enjoy my loves. xx**

Chapter 2

Yes this was her bed. Yes it was a new morning, but it was not a new beginning. For Carol Peletier, this was like every other morning of life. In the early moments between sleep and awareness, she found a calm void that lasted for a millionth of a second, where she could be anything, do anything - where she was as free as a bird. The tranquil oblivion she knew before awakening was all too brief and crumbled around her as she opened her eyes to reality. The same bedclothes covered her, the same drab curtains hung limply on the windows, and the same dip in the mattress beside her brought her crashing into another day. She looked at the bedside clock that flashed 5.57AM and shifted stealthily out of bed, trying not to wake her husband Ed. He was snoring with his back to her as she crept into the bathroom on bare feet and silently closed the door behind her.

A dull ache pulsed in her head as it swam with sleepiness. She was used to being up this early; she did it day in, day out, but her body still objected with a variety of symptoms. As she sat down and went about her business, she rubbed her tired eyes with her palms and a yawn forced its way out of her. Her stomach growled and acid crept up her throat as she considered yet another day. Another day, preparing his breakfast, making sure his work clothes were laid out, making sure the coffee pot was full - all without so much as a grunt of thanks. She'd need to make Sophia's lunch for school, make sure she had all her books, fix her hair and make sure she'd brushed her teeth. Sophia at least had a smile for her and a 'thank you mama', and that was all she needed. It made the day seem a little less heavy on her shoulders, seeing those freckly cheeks and that toothy grin shining up at her.

Carol hauled herself to her feet and flushed. As she washed her hands she caught sight of herself in the mirror and grimaced. She barely recognised the gaunt, drawn face staring back at her. The dark circles under her eyes and her pale complexion made her look like a ghoul. The only traces of life were her blue eyes and dark auburn curls, but even those of late had been looking rather ragged. Her hair was going through some sort of wild and wiry phase, and the little grey strands creeping in that she'd tried to ignore were getting harder to miss. She was only thirty two, but being married to Ed Peletier for thirteen years had taken its toll on her.

Ed was a hard man; he could be mean, unreasonable and on occasion cruel. He paid the bills and kept a roof over her and Sophia's heads though, so she felt obliged to be grateful to him. That, and he never missed an opportunity to remind her. He loved the power he had over her, like she would always be beholden to him for keeping them fed and clothed, and deep down she hated him for it, although she would never allow herself to admit it consciously. It seemed easier to just keep it buried deep inside and let every day wash over her, leaving her feeling numb to everything. It wasn't a life, this was just existence. She existed to serve him first and foremost, and tend her daughter and herself second. Each day was a battle to psych herself up enough just to leave the confines of the bathroom and get herself dressed. Somehow though, she always mustered up enough strength to get herself ready to face the world for another day.

She rooted in the bathroom cabinet, taking her daily round of pills with a well practised jerk of her head, closing the door and looking at herself again. The bruise on her arm had gotten worse. Why was it bruises always looked worse two or three days after whatever had caused them? She pondered the mystery as she turned in the mirror, craning her neck around to get a view of the back of her arm. The black-blue stains on her skin were starting to tinge with yellow and looked just awful. It was hot out but she would have no choice but to wear a sweater or cardigan to cover it up. Handprints weren't the easiest to disguise.

It had been a stupid thing, really. She should've known better than to try her hand at humour or sarcasm with him. One thing said that may have been taken the wrong way would almost inevitably lead to a bruise of some description. It was her own fault, like most things were. As she examined his handiwork in the mirror she felt the ominous congestion of nose and throat as tears welled. When would enough be enough? How much longer could she endure feeling this way day after day after day? She had already allowed sinful thoughts to creep into her mind, thoughts about freeing herself in the only way that seemed possible. But to leave Sophia, her baby, with _him_. The thought left her cold and ashamed, and any such thoughts were quickly pushed to the back of her mind with everything else buried in the dark, never to be seen again.

She washed her face and brushed her teeth, then with a last indifferent look into the mirror, she opened the door to go and face another day. He would be up soon.

_**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**_

"Mama have you seen my stuff for gym class? I can't find it anywhere." Sophia rooted around in the laundry basket frantically.  
"Maybe if ya wouldn't leave it lyin' around. Ain't a damn hotel ya live in." Ed didn't look up from the sports pages as Carol put his breakfast down to him.

She shot a disapproving look at the back of his head as she turned her attention to Sophia. "I washed it last night sweetie, it's in your bag. Why don't you go brush your teeth and I'll pack your lunch."  
"Okay mama." Sophia smiled sweetly and went upstairs to brush her teeth.

The thick, sour atmosphere that always descended like a toxic cloud when they were alone was upon her as soon as Sophia reached the top of the stairs. Carol stood at the counter spreading peanut butter sandwiches. She didn't speak or look at him, not least of all because the sight of him repulsed her nowadays. She waited for the dig she knew he was waiting to make. He was biding his time, making her squirm a little before finally turning her stomach with the sound of his voice.

"You gotta stop doing everything for her."  
Carol stopped spreading at the sound of his voice. _What, like I do everything for you?  
_She slowly turned and looked briefly at him before returning to sandwich spreading. "I only washed her gym stuff. She needed it for school."  
"She knows where the washing machine is." He sniped at her.  
_So do you, asshole_. "I wash your clothes too. It's not a big deal."  
"What the hell's that got to do with it?" Ed put his paper down and she could feel his eyes locked on to her like a laser sight.  
"Nothing, I just meant… I don't mind doing it, is all." Carol cut Sophia's sandwiches and wrapped them up.

She heard the scrape of his chair and her gut hit the floor. She turned around gingerly, eyes flickering and trying feebly to front a smile, but her face wouldn't cooperate and the best she could manage was a twitch. His buggy eyes were fixed on her, daring her to elaborate on what she'd just said. He moved slowly towards her, backing her into the kitchen counter. His face was so hard and unyielding, unemotional, his eyes dead and cold, and looking into them made her skin crawl. It made her want to bolt like a horse and get as far away from him as possible. His breaths made her skin prickle with fear.

"You got a problem?"  
"No."  
"Seems to me like you're forgettin' who makes the bread around here. You got a roof over your head and clothes on your back. That not enough for ya?"  
Carol felt her cheeks flush and her throat close up. "I didn't mean-"  
"I work my ass off every day to keep you two in the life of luxury and you're complaining about doing a little laundry? A little gratitude wouldn't go amiss."  
"I am grateful," she mumbled, her voice coming out as a pathetic croak as she turned back around to finish fixing Sophia's lunch and to get away from him.  
"Don't turn your back on me when I'm talking to you!" Ed grabbed her roughly by the arm, his fingertips pressing into the bruised flesh under her cardigan.  
"Ed you're hurting me," she squealed sheepishly. "Please, I'm sorry. I'll try to be better."  
"You will be better, 'cause I'm getting' pretty damn tired of your shit."

"Mama?" A small voice interrupted them and Carol looked round to find Sophia watching them, eyes wide with fear.

Carol gave Ed a pleading look and he looked at Sophia then her before finally releasing his grip with an irritable grunt, bulldozing his way past Sophia and out the door to work. Carol exhaled a shaky breath and tried to compose herself.

"Mama is everything alright?" Sophia asked quietly, as if she was afraid to speak. The atmosphere still lingered in the air like thunder.  
"Yes, sweetie. Everything's fine." Carol held her arms out and gathered Sophia in an embrace, dropping a kiss on the top of her head.  
"Mama, is daddy mad at me?"  
"No," she sighed, "he's just a little cranky and tired from work. Nothing for you to worry about."  
"Is he mad at you?"  
Carol wondered just how much she had seen. "Why do you say that?"  
"He was grabbing your arm," she frowned. "It looked sore."  
"He didn't mean it honey, like I said he's just a bit cranky."  
"He scares me sometimes."

The sentence made Carol's heart fill with lead. Things had been worse recently, and she'd only been fooling herself into believing they hadn't been. She'd been so depressed she had completely overlooked how Sophia must be feeling. She knew Sophia wasn't totally oblivious to what went on in the house - she wasn't deaf. It couldn't have been easy for her to listen to the shouting and things being knocked to the floor or smashed, and she immediately felt awful that it had come to the point where Sophia was actually scared of her own father.

"Listen to me sweetie, you don't need to be scared of your father. I know he can be a bit of a grump but he'd never do anything to hurt you okay?" Carol cupped Sophias face and smoothed her cheeks with her thumbs.  
"You promise mama?"  
"I promise you sweetie. Now, we'd better get a move on or you'll be late."

Sophia seemed satisfied for the moment, and Carol ushered her out of the front door, carrying her bag. The promise rang in her ears, and she hoped to God she was right about that.

_**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**_

"Right have a good day, and try not to get up to anything, I don't want any phone calls from your teacher today." Lori eyed Carl playfully and sent him off with a smile.  
"Bye mom, bye Carol." Carl called back as he and Sophia trotted off down the path into the school gates.

The two women watched them go and Lori let out a wistful sigh. "They grow up so fast don't they? I can't believe how much he's grown in the last year."  
"Yeah, Sophia's the same. I've had to buy her a training bra." Carol groaned at the prospect of her little girl growing up.  
"Really?"  
"Yeah, not that she has much to put in it right now," she laughed, "but all the girls in her class are wearing bras so she didn't wanna feel left out."  
"Well that's true, we were there once too. I didn't wanna be the only girl in class not wearing a bra."  
"I suppose I should be grateful it's just a bra. Next it'll be boys and I'm not looking forward to that." Carol shot her a despairing glance.

Lori gave her a sympathetic smile and rubbed her arm a little too roughly. Carol winced and Lori reeled in surprise.

"What's up?"  
"Huh?" Carol feigned ignorance.  
"Your arm. You hurt it?"  
"What that? Oh it's nothing. I just… bumped it off the kitchen door. It's a little tender is all." Carol's head jerked up when she didn't get a reply. Lori's eyes were fixed on her, unconvinced and probing. "What?"  
"Come on Carol. The kitchen door… really?"  
"I don't know what you're implying," Carol said quietly, looking around nervously.  
"Oh I think you do. You think I haven't seen how he is with you?"  
"It's nothing. I told you I just bumped it." Carol insisted.  
"You can talk to me you know Carol. I can get you help." Lori sought her eyes desperately, trying to get her to open up.

Carol looked at her, the cogs turning in her mind. She desperately wanted to confide in her friend, to feel that she wasn't entirely alone. It was hard going through every day with nobody to turn to that understood. There was Sophia, but she had to be strong for her. She needed a friend; it could be like opening a can of worms, but she so desperately wanted someone to lighten her load, to tell her everything would be alright.

"I… oh Lori-" she stuttered, before the sound of a police siren interrupted her.

Lori rolled her eyes and her shoulders sagged as she saw who was driving the car.

"Mornin' ladies," The car pulled up and a handsome cop leaned out of the open window with one tanned, taught arm. "How are we doin' on this fine Georgia morning?"  
"We're fine Shane." Lori said, acidity creeping into her tone on the last word. "Where's Rick? Did something happen?"

"Now why would you go thinkin' something happened?" Shane continued to grin like he'd just won the lottery. "I was just headin' over to the station when I saw you two fine drinks of water over here and decided to come say hello." He dragged his eyes away from Lori's chest and pulled them over to meet Carol's face. "How y'all doin' today Carol? Ain't it a little hot to be wearin' a sweater?"

"I'm fine, thanks," she smiled meekly, pulling the sweater more tightly around her. "I get cold easily. Bad circulation."

Shane's eyes snapped back to Lori immediately, obviously bored with her response. "Why don't ya hop in and I'll take you over to see Rick. M'sure he'd love to see his beautiful wife show up at the office just to say hello."  
"Rick's too busy to be standing around shooting the shit." Lori huffed, stepping off the curb and leaning down so that he was face to face with her. "And I'm too busy to stand here and have you ogle me like some two dollar whore you picked up on the weekend."  
"Ooh you got some spunk in ya this mornin'." Shane's eyes widened. "Ya really think we should be talkin' like this in front of your boy's school?"

Carol suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable. She was the only other person who knew the truth behind the rumours, and right now she felt like she was standing next to a nuclear reactor that could go into meltdown at any second. This small town had ears on every street corner, every sidewalk. It wouldn't take much for people to get wind of their conversation. Lori gritted her teeth, trying desperately to hold back what she really wanted to say. She straightened up and clung to her purse like an invisible tether that was beginning to fray like her temper.

"I'm going now. If I catch you following me, I will call my husband at the station and you and he can have words. Are we clear on that?"  
"Crystal."

Lori looked back to Carol in that moment, a look of sympathy and apology written across her face. "Carol, I'll check up on you later and we can continue discussing things, okay?"

Carol nodded, watching Shane begin to pull away as Lori headed for her car. She'd just managed to calm down a bit, grateful for the distraction from her bruised arm when Lori turned around and walked back.

"Oh I almost forgot." She said as Carol tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "I didn't want to mention it in front of Shane because I told Rick not to invite him, but we're having a little get together for our anniversary this Saturday, why don't you bring Sophia along? Carl will be glad of the company, and so would I."  
"I dunno, I'll have to check with Ed, I don't know if he has plans."

Lori sighed, wanting to push the issue but knowing that right at this moment, she would have to accept defeat. The moment had gone. She walked back to her car and got in, leaning out of the window to say goodbye. "Alright, well you can let me know, and we'll discuss it later." Her eyes were clear but concerned. "You take care of yourself you hear?"

Carol nodded, putting on her best pretend smile. "I will… I'll let you know about the party."

Lori smiled and started the car. Carol watched her go and gave her a wave as she drove off. She felt a twinge of emptiness as she watched her friend disappear into the distance. A party. She wanted to go so badly, catch up with friends she hadn't seen in forever and that she knew would be there; friends who'd been able to go of their own free will, not needing anyone's permission. She knew even before she'd asked Ed what the answer would be. There would be no explanation, no 'sorry honey, I have plans, why don't you go and have a good time?' No meant no. Whether he had plans or not would be irrelevant. Her stomach churned as she considered asking him, hearing his response ring in her head like a pre recorded answer phone message. It was a daunting prospect, and she shoved it to the back of her mind. She didn't totally dismiss it, she just needed time to think and maybe work up the courage to bring it up. He couldn't say no to everything.

As she started the walk back, she thought that he could and probably would, but something inside her was struggling, trying to wriggle and break free like a butterfly from its cocoon. She wanted to be free from hers, she just needed to find her wings.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**

**Well hello lovelies and welcome to Chapter 3! What a week this has been eh?! I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am at the pictures and the theories circulating right now. Either way, our babies are filming together ALOOOOONE! So we're going to have (a) a reunion in some way shape or form, and (b) screen time between them on their own away from the group! My feelings can't take much more. Are you all as excited as me? I'm now literally counting the days to both comic con for the trailer and then the season 5 premiere.**

**Anyway coming back to planet earth for a moment… I don't know anyone who doesn't miss him, but I sure as hell do so he's back for my story! You'll see who pretty much right away, and I hope you like! Again, reviews not essential but I do love to hear what you think! Anyhoo, I'd better get my arse in gear and catch up on my writing (I had a crappy week with unavoidable stuff at work which held me up) before you guys catch up to me haha!**

**So here it is, hope you enjoy and don't forget this is a chapter a week so next one is out next Friday. Til then enjoy all this lovely Caryl happiness that's going around!**

**Disclaimer #1: I do not own TWD or any of its characters, I just borrow them for a while and make them do what happens in my head!**

**Disclaimer #2: I know absolutely bugger all about cars. Briefly researched bits so don't shoot me if it doesn't sound right. I tried!**

Chapter 3

Daryl pulled into the parking lot and killed the ignition on his bike. A bearded face he remembered all too well looked up from under the hood of the Dodge he was working on and broke into a megawatt smile.

"I don't believe it." He adjusted his hat, the same hat he'd been wearing since Daryl was a kid. "Daryl Dixon, is that really you? Son of a gun, how the hell are ya?"

Daryl strode up to him and smirked at his outstretched hand. "Don't be a moron man, c'mere." Daryl pulled him into a man-hug and slapped him fiercely on the back. "S'good to see ya."

Dale laughed, overwhelmed to see his prodigal son had returned at long last. "Well this is a surprise, how the hell have you been? Heck, what am I saying? _Where_ have you been?"

"I've been all over the damn place, but my old man died on me so I gotta come take care of some stuff." Daryl waited for a word of condolence and found himself short on sympathy. "Ain't ya gonna say you're sorry? Sorry for my loss, all that bullshit?"

"I'm no more sorry than you are." Dale replied with a knowing smirk. "Where's Merle, isn't he with you?"

"Pfft, I ain't seen him for a long time. Asshole took off when the old man got sick, probably doesn't even know he's gone."

"Ah that sounds like him. He was a troubled young man if I remember rightly." Dale's face screwed up as he tried to recall the elder Dixon brother.

"Yeah, sounds about right."

Daryl had known Dale Horvarth since he was fifteen. Dale had lived in Georgia his whole life, and for the past twenty years had called Senoia his home. He was a decent, hard working man, running his auto repair shop, just trying to make his way like everyone else. For no immediately obvious reason, Daryl had always liked him. Dale had always treated him like he had a purpose, like he was needed, wanted. When Dale looked at him he didn't see just another redneck kid that would grow up to be a white trash asshole. He saw someone that wanted to break away from all the shit and actually do something with his life. He'd given Daryl odd jobs to do around the yard, taught him various bits and pieces about auto repair and kept his mind occupied. Daryl never spoke about goings on at home, but Dale somehow understood and could always be depended on to just be there for him. He didn't ask awkward questions; he seemed to possess amazing powers of perception and knew when Daryl just needed to be away from home, so he always made sure there was some job or other left undone. He was a very calming influence, and it rubbed off on Daryl when he worked. He focused, his problems fading into background noise for a while at least. He didn't know whether Dale was aware, but he had always looked on him as a father figure, and seeing him after all this time really did feel like coming home.

"So are you gonna be in town for long?" Dale sounded hopeful.

"Well I got some shit to take care of but yeah, I'll hang around for a while."

"I could sure use some help around here. My other mechanic's gone AWOL, hell knows if he's comin' back. Don't suppose you still know your way around a car?" he grinned.

"Shittin' me man? I fix cars in my sleep," Daryl snorted. "Just tell me where ya need me."

Daryl set to work changing the brake pads on a beat up old 67 Thunderbird. It felt almost surreal to be lying under a car at Dale's Autos again, but good. It was a welcome distraction from the whole business of his old man dying. He still had to attend the reading of the will, but Daryl didn't hold out much hope of there being anything of use or value in it. His father had drunk every last penny he had, up until he got sick. By then there was nothing left and Daryl had looked out for him until he passed away. He didn't know why he stayed, even in sickness his daddy had been less than loveable; but he felt compelled to see it through with him. Despite the resentment he felt towards him, Daryl still couldn't turn his back and leave the old man to die abandoned and alone. Something pulled at him inside and it would just have felt wrong to close the door on him. After he'd died, Daryl hadn't expected to feel anything, and he was right. An emptiness now filled him; he was alone. His piece of shit brother was Lord knows where, and he was left to sweep the remnants of his father's life into a pile and sift through it all.

Daryl had returned to Senoia under the pretence of sorting out his daddy's affairs, but the truth of the matter he was loathe to admit even to himself. He didn't have anywhere else to go. Of course he could've gone anywhere he had wanted - he was free and no longer had to follow Merle and his old man around doing whatever dumb or dangerous shit they'd schemed up. Daryl was a man grown, and had his father not gotten sick, chances are he'd have been out of there a long time ago. Despite this, no matter what craziness they'd become involved in, at least he still felt part of something… needed. Now there was nobody to need his help, nobody to notice if he was there or not. Nobody that cared either way. His life was a void now, meaningless and without purpose. To Daryl, this had been the only place that had ever truly felt like home, and the only place he could think of to come now he found himself lost in the world. Home.

As he worked on the car, his hands blackened by the dirt and grease, his mind wandered along its own errant path, memories returning unbidden that he'd been trying to submerse his whole adult life. Memories of the person who'd made him feel like he belonged. He'd have been lying if he'd said there wasn't an ulterior motive for coming back. It was dumb to even hope she'd still be here after all this time. He'd already sat in that damn treehouse yesterday, cursing himself and getting mad, and tried to brush it off. But the guilt was creeping up on him, guilt he hadn't felt so vividly in years was burrowing under his skin now he was home. The more time that passed, the more persistent the thoughts were becoming. Was she still around? Was she married? Was she happy? He wanted to ask about her, needing at least a hint as to her well being, but he was afraid of the answer either way. Afraid that she was here, afraid that she wasn't. If she was still around, it was inevitable that at some point he would have to face her and relive things that filled him with shame. If she wasn't though, all he had were memories, and the prospect of never seeing her again was almost unthinkable. Sure, he hadn't seen her for fifteen years, but there was always a small glimmer of hope in his heart that time might have stopped in Senoia and he would go back and find her still there, untouched by the years. There always seemed like there would be time. Even if she was with someone else, and he didn't doubt it after all these years, seeing her would be something at least.

"Daryl you okay under there?" Dale's voice broke through the fog in his mind and made him jump and bang his head off the underside of the car.

"Ahh dammit!" Daryl cursed, sliding out from under the car and rubbing his forehead, checking his hand for blood and squinting up at the voice.

"I called ya three times, thought you maybe fell asleep under there," Dale grinned, oblivious to his pain as always. "Daryl Dixon, I'd like ya to meet Rick Grimes. He's our Sheriff's Deputy."

Daryl had hauled himself to his feet and wiped his hands on his pants, leaving brown trails up his legs. He looked Rick up and down, trying to ascertain what kind of man he was. He looked at Rick's outstretched hand and clasped it roughly, shaking it once and letting it go.

"Good to meet you Daryl," Rick smiled genuinely. "I hear you're a bit of a prodigal son."

"Yeah I lived here for a bit when I was a kid," Daryl looked to Dale with a nostalgic half smile. "Been a long time."

"How's it feel to be back? Must be nice to be home."

"S'a little weird. Place looks so different, an' I ain't seen anyone I know 'cept Dale. He's like a damn relic, he never changes." Daryl laughed at Dale's mock shocked expression.

The men shared a laugh and got talking. As they chatted Daryl decided this Rick seemed a decent guy. He was laid back and cool, and didn't look like your stereotypical asshole cop like the ones that used to bust him and Merle for doing dumb shit. He didn't have any airs or graces, and wasn't up his own ass. For Daryl that was all it took to make him relax into conversation. An easiness fell between them that made it seem like he'd known this Grimes guy in a previous life. There was something familiar and warm about him.

"So you got a family Daryl?"

"Nah man, my old man died not long ago, that's why I'm here."

"Ah, m'sorry to hear that," Rick frowned. "What I meant though was do you have a family, y'know wife and kids, that kinda thing?"

"Pfft, nah if my old man's anythin' to go on I ain't in a hurry neither." Daryl snorted at the thought of him being a parent. He could barely take care of himself.

Rick chuckled a little at this, clearly no idea that Daryl meant every word. "Well you never know. I never thought I'd have a kid but he's almost thirteen now. I haven't screwed up yet so there's hope for us all."

Daryl couldn't resist a laugh at the idea. This guy didn't look as though he'd had a hard day in his life. He was never going to suck at being a father, no doubt he'd come from a loving family and had a laid back, easy paced life, sauntering along the years picking up a wife and a son like a snowball rolling down a slope. He hadn't spent his life looking over his shoulder, listening for heavy footsteps on the stairs, running for the woods as fast as his legs would carry him. Of course Rick would be an amazing father, because the fear of becoming his own wasn't rooted in his gut like a tumour. Daryl swore to himself all his life that he would never put another life in that position. Nobody would fear him, and he wouldn't have anyone except himself to let down. A responsibility of that magnitude was beyond his comprehension. Only one person could maybe have helped him to understand, and she was gone. He had let her down too, and if he wasn't able to have it with her, he'd rather not imagine at all.

"So can you fix it today? I know it's a big ask but I'm kinda desperate." Rick looked to Dale and screwed up his face hopefully.

"Ask my man here, he was born with a wrench in his hand," Dale grinned, slapping Daryl on the shoulder.

"Sure, no worries man. I'll take a look." Daryl nodded, squinting in the late morning sunshine. "From what ya said it sounds like the drive belt is shot." He popped the hood of Rick's car and peered in at the engine. "Hmm, yeah it looks a bit worn. Could probably use a new one."

"Shit, is it gonna take long to fix?"

"If we got a spare I can have it done in a half hour tops?" Daryl directed his question at Dale.

"Yeah, I reckon I might have just the thing. You wanna grab a coffee while you wait for it?"

"Yeah I guess I could hang around, catch up," Rick smiled. "Thanks man, you're really saving my ass."

"No problem," Daryl nodded. Dale disappeared into the office and rummaged through several boxes before finding the pack containing the new belt and lobbed it Daryl's way.

Daryl got to work right away, picking his way through the engine and releasing the old belt. He fell into his old work habits with such ease it was like he'd never been away. The focus he'd held as a teenager returned to him without any conscious thought at all, it all came back so naturally. He worked quickly, methodically, and he was finished before his predicted half hour was up. He stood back and admired his handiwork, feeling thoroughly satisfied. He felt like he'd done something useful for the first time in months and it gave his confidence a much needed boost. It also crossed his mind that Rick would be pleased, and he relished the thought that he might even be impressed. He kinda liked this guy, and subconsciously he wanted Rick to like him. All the negativity he'd had from his old man, from Merle, from teachers at school, telling him he was a simple minded piece of shit, that he would never amount to anything had been drilled into him his whole life. Now he had a chance to start over again without them and find his place among people who held him in a new regard, who saw him as something, _someone _of worth. He could be anything he wanted to be now, and he decided whatever he was gonna be, he would be a hundred times what any of them ever were.

Daryl peered around the doorway of the office to find Dale and Rick sitting on the same threadbare armchairs he'd sat in as a kid, sharing a joke and drinking coffee. Rick looked up expectantly.

"S'all done." He lobbed the keys at Rick, who looked at Dale then his watch.

"Already? Jeez, that was fast."

"Told ya, kid always fixed things quicker than I could break them," Dale beamed. "You manage to finish those brakes on the T-bird yet?"

"Did that before ya gave me a concussion," he smirked.

"Well I gotta tell you Daryl, I'm impressed. I thought I was gonna be off the road a few days at least so thank you." Rick gulped the last dregs of his coffee and looked at his watch again. "Dale I'll settle the rest with you on Saturday, if you're still coming?"

"Of course, I'll be there," Dale nodded and stood up.

"Hey, why don't you come along Daryl?" Rick asked as the three men moved out into the yard again, walking towards Rick's car. "We're having a little get together for our anniversary, just a few friends over for a barbeque and some drinks?"

"Aww I dunno man, I don't really know anybody." Daryl chewed his lip, trying to think of a way to pass but not sound like an ungrateful jackass.

"Exactly! I figure you're new in town… sort of. Be a good chance to meet some folks. Anyway Dale and I will be there so you'll know _someone. _I really appreciate you savin' my ass today with the car and all, at least come for a drink, my way of sayin' thanks."

Daryl looked at Rick's pleading eyes and then at Dale who was grinning stupidly and let out a defeated sigh. "Alright, I guess it wouldn't kill me. Thanks man."

"No, thank you." Rick settled his hat onto his head and held out his hand. Daryl grasped it firmly and nodded in acknowledgement. Rick got in his car and leaned out of the window to say goodbye. "See you both Saturday."

Dale gave a little wave goodbye and Daryl watched as Rick's car disappeared off down the road. A party? What the hell was he thinking? It was the least appealing idea in the world to him; hanging around like a spare part and suspecting everyone of furtive glances at the strange redneck dude. Sure, meeting people might be ultimately a good thing, but he was only just back. A little breathing space might have been nice, but then again the longer he got to breathe, the more chance there was of him talking himself out of going. _Hell, just go already, have a couple drinks then get the hell outta there._

When Rick was gone Dale turned to him and slapped him affectionately on the back. "How about some lunch, then we'll see if you still wash cars as well as you fix them?"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: It's Friday bitchezzzzz! And you know what that means... you beautiful lot get another chapter to read! Right now is an awesome time to be a Caryler is it not?! All the spoiler pics and theories and even awesomer pics of... I wanna say scripts but they're not... (What would we call them? Camera guy scripts?) that the amazing upsgirl88 procured from her friend! Anyway, I'm buzzing as I'm sure most of you are too!**

**This chapter was a lot of fun to write. Carol's mind throughout this story is a complex arena and this gives me so many avenues to explore. The inner workings of an abused person's mind is a delicate thing to try to portray properly, but I hope I have done it justice. Again, I can't take ALL the credit; my fab buddies kaoscraze and allidon helped me out a ton making sure everything about this was just right. It was fun to write for other reasons, but I won't spoil it for you :) just read!**

**Anyhoo, I'm off to try and catch up before you're all on my tail! Happy reading and remember, reviews make me a happy bunny! **

**Disclaimer #1: I do NOT own TWD or any of its characters. They just come into my mind and do stuff and thangs.**

**Disclaimer #2: Boooo you Emmy people! **

Chapter 4

"Are you crazy?!" Carol eyeballed him and tried to keep her voice down so no one in the hallway would hear them. "What if we get caught? I'm not spending the next week grounded Daryl."

"Aw c'mon, stop bein' such a chicken," he grinned. "We ain't gonna get caught. I've got it all planned out. Trust me."

Carol sighed. "I wanna trust you, but I also don't wanna wind up in detention."

Daryl smirked. He seemed to be in detention every week for something. Carol was a straight A student and she wanted to keep it that way. When Daryl had come over this morning to walk her to school like he always did, there had been a gleam in his eye that she knew only came out when he was planning something mischievous. She should've known better than to let it go and chalk it up to something trivial. Now here he was, standing in front of her with the bell about to ring for fifth period, trying to convince her to skip out on the rest of the class for the day and take off with him on some half-schemed adventure. The sad part was she was actually considering going along with it.

"Aw man just come on. We'll tell them you got sick and had to go home. I'll make sure we get ya back before your folks get home too."

"Daryl…"

"Please? I promise, you're gonna love it."

Carol eyed him suspiciously and tried in vain to suppress a grin as he pouted at her with big blue puppy dog eyes.

"Oh alright! But if we get caught you take the blame." She scowled at him.

"Oh trust me, even you'd do time for what I got in mind."

He led her down the hall, Carol's mind still trying to figure out a good enough excuse for what she'd say if anyone found out.

"Do I at least get a clue where we're going?"

Daryl could barely contain his excitement as he pulled her through the crowd of students heading to their next class, grinning at her like an idiot. "You'll see."

**_xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox_**

"Oh my God this is amazing!" Carol had to shout to be heard above the rip of the wind in her own ears.

"I told ya!" Daryl yelled back. "Am I a fuckin' genius or what?"

"No, you're just crazy!"

Her hair would be a complete nightmare to brush out after this but feeling the wind rip through it was exhilarating and had her heart flying in her chest. His back gave her face some shelter from the harsh elements as they rode, and she used the necessity of holding on to him as an excuse to snuggle up. To say she'd been apprehensive when he'd presented Merle's bike and divulged his brilliant plan would have been an understatement. She'd looked at him like he was an idiot but now it seemed like pretty much the best idea he'd ever had. She'd never experienced anything like this in her life, it was definitely going to take something spectacular to beat this feeling.

They rode to a picturesque little rise of land overlooking town and Daryl decided this was as good a spot as any to stop for a rest. He steadied the bike near a little family of trees while Carol climbed off and attempted desperately to tame her curls which were dishevelled to say the least from the ride. Daryl looked her messy mane over and snorted a laugh, and she shoved him in mock annoyance.

"Keep it up, redneck. I got plenty ways to make your life a misery."

"Yeah, whatcha gonna do?"

"Now why would I tell you and ruin all the fun?" Carol grinned mischievously at him.

They settled down on the grass near the edge of the overhang and took in the view. It was turning out to be a beautiful day, and Carol let out a blissful sigh. Daryl looked at her curiously and laughed under his breath.

"What?" she chuckled. "I was just thinking, we should be in Math or something right now."

"Man fuck that, this is way better."

"Oh yeah? I kinda thought you'd be basking in all the attention," she grinned.

"Attention? The hell ya talkin' about?"

"From Amanda?" Carol rolled her eyes suggestively. "Your little not-so-secret admirer?"

"Pfft," Daryl scoffed, picking at the grass, "chick's crazy, she creeps me out."

"Yeah right, I've seen you checking her out in class," she teased, relishing the way his cheeks were starting to fill with colour.

"Stop. I ain't been checkin' her out. Told ya, I don't do all that romance shit."

"What, never?"

Daryl shifted uncomfortably under her gaze and she couldn't help but smile at the way he looked all flustered at what she was asking. She knew he was shy but she'd always assumed he'd at least had a girlfriend.

"You can't tell me you've never had a girlfriend?" Carol asked, her voice laden with disbelief.

"Can we just change the damn subject already?"

"I'm not judging, just asking."

Daryl glared at her in annoyance. "No, I ain't had one. Ya happy?"

Carol gave him a little smile. "But you have kissed a girl before?"

"Course I have, m'not a total loser." He avoided her gaze like the plague as his cheeks glowed, betraying him.

"Have you kissed Amanda?" She felt dread and hope churn in her stomach. "I mean, would you, if she asked?"

"I already told ya she gives me the creeps," he muttered.

Carol felt her spirits lift a little and wondered if she should dare to dig further. "Well, if not Amanda, how about someone else?"

"I- I don't … Do we have to talk about this?"

Carol had said it half jokingly in an attempt to lighten the mood, keeping the real intent behind it to herself. She was totally unprepared for his response - she'd been expecting his usual dismissive 'pfft, stop'. Instead her tummy fluttered and a light came on somewhere inside her.

"Daryl?"

Her breath caught as her eyes hovered on him, meeting with the side of his head as he ripped up handfuls of grass and avoided her behind a mop of ragged hair. His face burned with embarrassment. She'd been so convinced and secretly heartbroken in school, casting wistful glances back at him and thinking his eyes were focused on Amanda, who sat in between them in math class. She'd carried the hope that one day maybe they would get together, and the hope got a little smaller each time she caught him looking over. Daryl eventually caved under the tension and looked up from behind wisps of straggly hair at her, his pained expression making her heart suddenly canon around in her chest. It dawned on her like an anvil falling on her head. He wasn't looking at Amanda.

"Oh." Carol breathed, unsure if she'd just slipped into a parallel universe.

He knew she'd figured it out and he was mortified. Daryl didn't hang around to wait on the rejection spiel, he jumped up irritably and trudged off, throwing himself against one of the trees. He thrust his hands into his pockets and scuffed at the grass with his boot. She got up and followed him, approaching him cautiously. He looked lost.

"Daryl, it's okay. I just… I didn't realise… "

"How could ya not realise?" He fiddled with a stray blade of grass. "Been starin' at ya like some fuckin' perv all through class."

"You're not a perv," she snorted incredulously.

"Close as I'm ever gonna get… ain't like it's ever gonna happen."

"Why not?" Carol asked, her voice coming out almost as a whisper.

Daryl's eyes evaded her, flitting around nervously on the ground, combing every gnarled root and trodden blade of grass for an answer he couldn't find. Eventually he had to meet her eyes because there was nowhere else for him to hide.

"Not exactly your type," he huffed.

"How do you know you're not my type?"

"Figure ya can have any guy ya want, why would ya even look twice at me?" His hair covered his face as he hung his head.

Carol's heart sank. He had absolutely no confidence in himself whatsoever and it broke her heart. Daryl was the kindest, most caring person she'd ever met, but there was another insecure, self conscious side buried deep within him and it killed her that she was only just realising the depth of it. Without thinking she reached for his face, recoiling a little at the slight flinch before he allowed her to touch him.

"I've been looking at you for months, ya big dummy. If I'd had some kinda idea you felt something I'd have said something by now. I really did think you and Amanda…"

"I fucking hate Amanda!," he groaned, "she's a stuck up little bitch."

"Okay so no Amanda," she laughed, letting her hand fall. "Got it."

They exchanged nervous, shy glances, neither one sure what to say or do next. Carol knew she'd be the one to break the deadlock, mainly because she couldn't stand the tension, and as nervous as she was, she knew he'd never be the one to do it.

"So how many girls have you really kissed?"

Daryl's eyes never left the ground, his face burning beet red. "None."

Seizing what little crazy confidence still buzzed inside her, she closed the space between them quickly before he had the chance to realise what was going on and her lips brushed his lightly. She felt him suck in a surprised breath as they met, his body struggling to hold back the reaction. His lips didn't respond but he didn't pull away either. She knew he had to be terrified, and it was radiating from him and spreading throughout her body. As much as she feared this could change things between them forever, she knew it was a chance she had to take or forever risk being in limbo, unsure of where she stood with him. When she pulled back he was still there, frozen to the spot with a look of bewilderment plastered across his face. At least he hadn't tried to run.

"So?"

"Huh?" Daryl stuttered, looking bemused.

"Was it that bad?"

"Bad?" He looked at her like she was insane. "What makes ya say that?"

"You look like you're about to run for the hills."

His expression lightened a little and he let out a little smirk. "Sorry, caught me off guard I guess. Was that, y'know, your first?"

"Yeah," she smiled shyly.

"Was it okay?"

Carol's heart melted all over again as she realised that he was more concerned for her than himself. "It was perfect. Although.."

"Although what?"

"I think we could both use some more practise."

She moved slowly, knowing this time he wouldn't feel like bolting for the hills. Both of them were nervous, tentative, but he managed to hold her gaze; his eyes soft and warm, causing her stomach to flutter wildly. His eyes flickered between her lips and eyes as he tried to figure out the right moment, his chest seizing as the tip of her nose made his skin tingle with anticipation. Their lips touched softly and this time he tilted his head gently in response, allowing her to capture him completely. Her heart buzzed frantically with this newfound aching and she never wanted it to stop. He could easily have escaped if he'd wanted to, but he was utterly entranced because it felt so right. Carol was surprised; it seemed so easy, like they'd been kissing all their lives. He was a natural.

Standing for what felt like hours, under the little canopy of trees at the top of the hill, Carol and Daryl became lost to the world as they explored this new closeness. Daryl was right. This might just be worth doing time for.

**_xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox_**

Carol swilled the thoughts around in her head, making one sound as convincing as the next, trying to drill some sort of courage into herself. It was going to be okay. He wouldn't give a shit if she went to some dumb party, he was going away this weekend anyway so why would he care? She washed her hands and looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, exhaling nervously, her heart beating a little faster than it normally did. She had to calm down, it was just a party for goodness' sake. He wouldn't care. Carol pulled herself together and breathed normally, trying to bring her anxiety levels back down.

She opened the bathroom door and wandered down the hall to peek around Sophia's doorway. She was lying on her tummy in bed, head propped up on her elbows reading a book. Carol smiled as Sophia failed to realise she was there. She was lost in her own imagination. It seemed a shame to disturb her.

"Whatcha readin'?" Carol stepped further into the room, bringing Sophia back to planet earth.

"It's called A Little Princess. It's about a rich girl who has to live in a boarding school because her daddy is a Captain and he has to go look for a diamond mine, but he tells the head mistress she's to have everything she wants. She's not spoiled though, she's kind to all the other girls, and some of them are very poor. Anyway, her father gets jungle fever and dies, and the headmistress is mean to her because she doesn't have any money now, and she makes her a slave. That's as far as I got."

"Ah, well I'm afraid that's as far as we get tonight because it's bed time, missy," Carol smiled, stroking her daughters face. "Go brush your teeth quick and I'll tuck you in."

Sophia laid the book face down and jumped to her feet, skipping off to brush her teeth. Carol picked up the book and read a few lines then smiled at the bookmark on Sophia's duvet. It had a big furry bumblebee on a daisy with a long green stem. Carol marked the page with it and closed the book, leaving the daisy and the bee peeking out of the top. Two minutes later Sophia came back and hopped into bed, shifting herself down under the covers as Carol pulled them over her.

"Mama?"

"Hmm?"

"Carl said his mom and dad are having a party this weekend and we're invited. Do you think we could go?" Sophia's bright eyes twinkled up at her expectantly.

"We'll see sweetie, but until I discuss it with your daddy we don't mention it, okay?"

"Okay mama. It would be fun though, wouldn't it?"

Carol smiled and dropped a kiss on Sophia's forehead and turned off her bedside lamp. "Night baby girl."

"Night mama, love you."

"Love you more."

As she clicked Sophia's door closed, her breath left her in a rush of hopelessness. Any bravery she had felt about bringing the party up to Ed had vanished and been replaced with a despondent heaviness. The thought of him being unreasonable was now doubly unbearable. Sophia had looked so hopeful about the idea of going to the party, and it would break her heart to have to tell her they couldn't go. Then a thought occurred to her. A thought so tantalizingly plausible she had to stop a laugh escaping. Why hadn't she thought of it before? Maybe because she'd programmed herself to swerve all thoughts that could get her into trouble. She allowed the idea to creep out of the murky dungeon in her mind where she hid everything away, undecided yet whether she should allow it to come out for good.

As she made her way downstairs on autopilot to the kitchen she felt almost like a naughty teenager hiding something from her parents. He was sitting in front of the tv like he usually did on evenings where he wasn't propping up the bar with his buddies. The thought was burning in her brain like a cigarette and she thought if he looked around he would see the smoke and she would be busted for sure. She just knew it would be written all over her face; it couldn't be more obvious she was plotting supposing there were neon flashing arrows pointing to her. Then again, did he notice her at all? If he was in tv and beer mode she'd often thought a nuclear bomb wouldn't draw his attention.

There was always the chance she would be found out. It hung like a cloud over every aspect of her daily life, but this would be much worse than simply spending a cent more than he allowed at the store. The prospect burrowed in her gut, but it was miniscule in comparison to the guilt she would feel letting Sophia down. As she took in the sight of him slobbed out in his chair, swigging from his can, she decided she was done asking for permission. _Look at him, he's disgusting. _He couldn't even acknowledge her when she walked into the room, why should she care either way? If she got found out, to hell with it. He couldn't do anything to her he hadn't already done a million times over. For a night free from him, having fun with her daughter and her friends, she'd take it. There had to be more to life than living under his bootprint. Some things were worth doing time for.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:**

**Hellooooo dears! Gosh these weeks sure are rolling around quicker than I thought they would! Chapter 5 already! Did anyone happen to brave the Caryl tag on Tumblr on Wednesday? All I have to say is whooooa! I felt like I was too young to be reading some of that stuff haha!**

**Anyhoo, bit of Daryl backstory in this one, and more Daryl/Dale squishiness just because I love you all. Back to typing like a fiend I go! And remember… I LOVE to hear from you guys! **

**Disclaimer: TWD and its characters are not mine, yadda yadda.**

Chapter 5

His father had been a prisoner to alcohol for as long as Daryl could remember, although he did remember after his mother died it had gotten a lot worse. His father sunk even deeper into the murky depths and he'd spent a hell of a lot of time just staying out of his way. He had become an expert at reading the signs that he was careening off the rails and he could pinpoint the event horizon right down to the second. His father's eyes became black holes, the light rushing out of them like stars being pulled to their death. Then he was running, running for the woods - running until he ran out of breath. If he was out of that house, he was safe. The alternative was like some horribly lucid nightmare. Merle had endured most in the wrath of the storm for years, but now Daryl was more or less a man he made a very handy second option. Merle had come to Daryl's rescue on many occasions and suffered himself to protect his kid brother. Merle was much bigger built than scrawny Daryl who had yet to fill out, but William Henry Dixon, or Will as he was more commonly known, was a huge man, and could overpower his elder son's strength without breaking a sweat. He was built like a bull, with a wide neck that seemed to disappear somewhere between his almost bald, greying head and shoulders. His giant hands looked like sculpted concrete on the end of thick powerful forearms, and his broad back and chest looked capable of heaving tons. The very sight of the man mountain was enough to instil fear.

On days like this, however, Daryl got to glimpse a different side to his father. In the woods, a calming energy subdued him and it was almost like being with a different man. He was utterly focused and in tune with the wilderness, the sights, smells and sounds of the forest speaking to him on some subliminal level, cleansing his spirit of the toxins within. Daryl had watched him a few times, tracking deer and trapping rabbits. Will had attempted to teach him when he was five years old, disappointed that Merle showed little interest in hunting, preferring to seek the company of girls and recreational drugs. Of course he was much too young and showed no promise. Will lost interest in the idea quickly, and following his wife's death, Daryl was left to fend for himself most of the time. Will abandoned any sense of fatherly responsibility and withdrew from sobriety completely. With Merle in juvie, Daryl had no one to take care of him or make sure he was fed. Some days he went to school just so he could get something to eat. As he grew up unsupervised, Daryl began to venture into the woods. After a few days on his own when he'd gotten lost, he'd found his way home and scraped together a sandwich. He was like a dog returning home to eat, and it gave him a sense of freedom. The idea that he could just come and go, and take care of himself was starting to grow on him; he didn't need to rely on anybody. This nomadic lifestyle might just have been his new favourite thing. Daryl decided to teach himself how to hunt, remembering what little he'd learned from his father. He would hunt whatever he could find in the forest, setting traps and improving through trial and error. It gave him an enormous sense of worth, knowing that there was something he could do right and reeping the rewards. Survival at its most primal level made him feel like a damn superhero.

There was a brief period of sobriety for Will as he found himself in a spot of bother with the wrong people and he uprooted them to Senoia, where he'd grown up. During the upheaval Daryl would spend a lot of time out in the forest, continuing to hone his skills and bring back food for the table. Will came to realise his son was a natural tracker and had become a man in his absence. The weak boy who'd shown no promise before was now a capable and proficient trapper. One day Will decided to dust down his crossbow and accompany Daryl on his daily wander. An easy atmosphere blew in the breeze between them, although force of habit saw him fall in behind Will. He followed literally in his father's footsteps, shadowing him as they stalked various forest dwelling creatures before halting as his old man dealt the killer blow.

They were following a trail, both sets of eyes trained on the foliage, unravelling the clues left by whatever had scurried along in front of them minutes before. Suddenly Will stopped, holding his free arm up slightly to alert Daryl. He turned his head to flick a quick glance over his shoulder to Daryl and nod in the direction that had grabbed his attention. Daryl crept closer until he was right next to Will and it was then he saw it. At the base of a nearby tree, a squirrel was sitting with its tail curled over its back, happily munching and oblivious to their presence.

Daryl waited for the thunk of the arrow that he expected, and felt more than a little surprised when instead of the thunk he felt a nudge on his arm as Will handed him his crossbow and nodded towards the target in expectation. Daryl looked at him in confusion and disbelief for a second before realising it wasn't a piss take. He raised his arm and steadied it with the other as much as he could under the weight of the weapon, took a deep breath and lined up the shot. He let fly and missed, the arrow whizzing past the squirrel and landing in the foliage behind it. The squirrel paused and stood to attention before finally deciding there was no danger and resuming its munching. Will took the bow back and notched up another arrow, handing it back to Daryl and leaning in to speak quietly in his ear.

"Okay straighten up," Will adjusted Daryl's posture, aligning his body with huge hands. "Hold yer breath until yer ready ta fire then let go. Go 'head."

Daryl took another deep breath and held it, lining up the squirrel which was now half way up the tree trunk, and felt time stop as he counted down in his head before squeezing the trigger. This time the arrow didn't miss. The squirrel hung from the bark in a limp furry bundle; he'd managed to shoot it right in the head. Daryl's breath rushed from him and he jumped as Will let out a raucous laugh, his face turning so red Daryl thought he might explode. Daryl was so taken aback he began to shake as his own laughter built from down in his gut.

"Well fuck me! That little bastard just ate his last nut!" He slapped Daryl on the back. "Go grab him an' we'll haul ass home."

Daryl grabbed the arrow and yanked it out of the tree, the squirrel dropping to the ground at his feet. He picked it up by the tail, feeling a sudden pang of guilt for laughing at its poor lifeless body swinging and cast a glance up at Will. He was smiling, actually smiling at him, and there wasn't a trace of mocking or malice in his eyes, no hidden disappointment at how useless he was. He glimpsed something in his old man's eyes that he had never seen before, which came from finally getting it right. He was proud of him. Daryl couldn't contain the smile that burst in reply. He felt like he'd been given a gift as Will put an arm around him roughly and they headed for home. The prospect of pleasing his father was so new and unexplored that he felt almost giddy. As the sunset cast a muted gold glow over the woodland, Daryl felt a wave of contentment roll over him. It had been a good day, one he would take with him and keep to light any dark ones yet to unfold. He hoped there were no more dark days. Maybe things were gonna work out now. Something he'd never felt before came alive inside him. Hope.

_**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**_

Will's hunting cabin had looked exactly the same as it did the last time Daryl had seen it. His dad's shit was still strewn everywhere, reminders that made him feel like he was seventeen again, that made him flinch whenever he heard a floorboard creak. A presence still hung in the air of the living room, in the stale lurk of cigarette smoke long absorbed into the furnishings, in the tacky dated décor. His old man's ashtray - a vulgar piece in the style of a red bra - still sat on the floor beside his chair practically overflowing. The years hadn't been too harsh on the cabin; there was some water damage to the roof upstairs, and the doors and skirtings would definitely need updated but all in all it was habitable for now.

The first thing he'd done was open every window in the place. The air was thick and musty, and after he'd stopped coughing he'd opened the front and back door to let some air flow in. Now that his father was gone he finally felt free, but stepping into the cabin was like opening a time capsule and it turned his stomach. The walls were bare and cold, making the place look like an abandoned asylum. There were no photos or anything that implied the place or his family meant anything to him. Cigarette butts and empty crushed beer cans littered the living room and he felt like at any moment the old bastard could walk in and shatter his freedom. These ghosts laying all around him were unbearable. Even now he still felt his old man's presence on him, a heavy veil of memories, suffocating, choking him. He shook it off and began climbing the stairs.

The upper level of the cabin felt eerie. There were only three rooms on the landing; a bathroom, the small room where he and Merle had slept and that Will used for storing miscellaneous hunting gear, and his old man's bedroom. Almost immediately he was drawn towards the room Will had slept in.

Curiosity pulled him into the room, which he realised he'd never really seen at all. Any time Will had gone to sleep in that room, it became a red zone. Venturing in there during a drink induced slumber was something - he'd learned from Merle - that you didn't do. He felt like he was visiting a scene from history, a moment frozen in time. The bed sheets were still a blur of mess where they'd been thrown off for the last time so many years ago. More beer cans littered the floor, making their presence known as Daryl's boots picked their way around the bed. The bedroom continued the asylum theme, comprising only the bed, a dresser and a large chest at the foot of the bed. The chest looked ancient and well worn, the wood pitted with hundreds of little dents where his old man had dug his knife into it by the looks of things; nothing like you would be able to buy in a store nowadays. As Daryl knelt in front of it he realised it had no lock, just two simple catches to keep the chest closed. Daryl allowed himself a wry snort as he considered the very idea that Will Dixon would feel the need to have a lock on anything. His mere presence was all the deterrent anyone needed. Despite the fact he was now gone, Daryl was in two minds about opening the chest. He knew there would be no backlash, no yelling, yet somehow as his fingers grazed the mottled, cold wood, he could hear his father's voice echoing. He wanted to lift the lid out of simple curiosity, but he was also apprehensive about what might be in there. If it was fishing bait fifteen years old he was screwed.

Taking a deep breath, he flipped the catches on the heavy lid and pushed it up slowly with his palm. As light filtered into the box he could see it was full of crap. Pictures of various people Daryl had never seen before, bolts and fittings of indeterminate use or origin, varying motorcycle books and journals. As he rummaged he came across numerous items that had belonged to Merle. Daryl was dumb as to why any of Merle's shit would be in the old man's trunk, his first assumption being that the old bastard simply took it and never gave it back. It became clear as he delved further into the chest. Everything was Merle's. The first arrow he'd made a kill with, some shitty clock he'd made in woodshop, a crappy hunting knife Daryl knew he'd stolen. Daryl raked irritably through the possessions, frantically almost, until he was at the bottom of the chest and found nothing. Nothing that even alluded to his existence in Will's life. His stomach was a pit of lead, his eyes burning holes in his head as bitter tears threatened to choke him. He got up and stormed out of the room, arms swinging as he strode towards the stairs. As he thundered down the creaky stairs his heart hammered in his chest. All the hurt and the anger was brewing in his chest like a tempest, his breathing ragged as he rebelled against the hot water welling in his eyes.

His eyes stung as he surveyed the spot where Will had sat after many a day spent hunting, drinking and shooting empty beer cans off the top of the tv set. He felt his muscles tense as his eyes drifted over the threadbare material of the chair. The cushion still had a deep hollow where his father had moulded it to his shape. He was everywhere. He was sitting there still, judging him, laughing at him, telling him he wasn't good enough. He had a real son, and the bastards were probably in on it together.

He swung his foot at the sea of rubbish and cans around the chair and smashed them angrily into the wall. He spied Merle's baseball bat in the corner and grabbed it, obliterating everything around him in a blaze of white hot anger. The burnt out lamp, the old tv set, the stupid fucking tray he'd sat his damn microwave dinners on while Daryl went hungry night after night. He swung as hard as he could, the crash of glass bringing him immense satisfaction, each rush of the bat coming harder than the one before. Bullets of sweat lashed down his temples, slicking his dark hair into demonic points on his skin, swinging and swinging until his arms burned in agony, grunting with effort. Finally his grip on the bat loosened and it clattered to the floor. He wanted to cry, he really did, but he'd let them humiliate him for the last time.

Swivelling on his heel he thundered out to his truck and reversed it right up to the front door. Then he started grabbing anything he could carry and hurling it all venomously into the back of the truck. He had to get rid of everything. Even if he decided not to stay here, he couldn't leave these pages unaltered. He might be dead but there was no way the old bastard was having the last word, not this time.

_**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**_

"Are you alright?"

Dale's voice broke through the fog in his mind and he realised he'd been staring at the engine for ages. He blinked and looked away, the outline of the engine still flashing in his vision like a negative.

"Sorry man," he mumbled hoarsely.

"Daryl are you okay? You're miles away today." Dale put a hand on Daryl's shoulder.

"Sorry," Daryl huffed, scratching the back of his neck. "Head's up my ass right now. Can't get used to bein' back in the cabin."

Dale nodded in understanding. "Yeah, it can't be easy. I know it's not somewhere that holds fond memories."

"Just don't get why he left it to me in the first place."

Dale sighed. "Listen, there's no point in you driving yourself crazy. You'll never know why he chose to leave it to you, but the fact is that it's yours now. Do what you want to, either make it your own or sell it. Nobody would blame you."

"Place is fallin' down," Daryl snorted. "Although my granddaddy built it with his own two hands. S'the only piece of land any Dixon ever put any effort into."

"So fix it up," Dale shrugged. "I never met a man who was better at fixing things than you Daryl Dixon. If anyone can whip that place into shape, it's you. I know you can do it."

Daryl looked at the ground , his body sagging as he let slivers of self doubt and loathing rooted in his past surface again for a moment.

"Y'know when I was a kid, he was wasted most of the time. Sometimes I didn't eat for fuckin' days 'cause he was too busy drinkin' to work an' we had no money. I taught myself to track an' hunt so I didn't starve. Anyways, when he finally sobered up he came out with me one day. We were followin' a trail an' he sees this squirrel, just sittin' at the bottom of a tree." Daryl's voice softened as he recalled the little creature. "My old man handed me his bow an' let me take the shot. Missed it first time, but he straightened me up, y'know? Second time I hit it right in the head, nailed it to the damn tree. I walks up to grab it off the tree trunk, I turn around, an' he's smilin' at me. He actually looked fuckin' proud of me. It was one of the best days of my goddamn life. I thought he… I thought things could be different, y'know? It was all just shit."

"Why do you think that?" Dale encouraged him to go on.

"The other day I found a trunk in his room, full of crap. Most of it Merle's. Fuck all to do with me in there. Guess I always knew Merle was his favourite. He always looked at me like I was a mistake." Daryl looked up to meet Dale's eyes. "But that day he looked at me like I was his son an' not some accident was the only good memory I had of him… and he took it away. It was all fuckin' bullshit."

Dale's eyes flickered with sympathy. "Well I think you can deal with this two ways. You can either feel sorry for yourself and dwell in the past, or you can turn this thing on its head. The past's gone Daryl, all you have is the future. Fix the place up, make it your own, don't let him win. You might have lost one memory, but think how many more you can make if you give yourself a chance. You've taken care of yourself your whole life, this should be a walk in the park for you. You can do anything, just believe in yourself, I know I do."

Daryl looked up at him and a faint smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. He'd always known how to bring Daryl out of the shadows and make him feel like he was worth something. Even after all this time he still had the knack, and Daryl couldn't deny he felt better. His own father might not have given a damn about him, but he knew he could always count on Dale to be proud of him, even if it was something as shitty as fixing an old house with a leaky roof. He knew Dale and his wife had never been able to have children of their own, and having this undying affection still poured on him after all this time like he'd never been gone, made Daryl want to be there for him. He'd allowed Dale to be the father he should've had and now he knew it was up to him to be the kind of son worthy of his love. Dale never let him down, not once. Daryl wouldn't let him down now. He would rebuild the parts of the cabin that were falling down, and the parts of his soul would hopefully follow.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Well lovely Carylers how are we all on this glorious Friday? Everyone excited for the trailer? And HOW ABOUT the amazing McReedus pic?! I'm sure I wasn't alone in my flailing! **

**Anyhoo, on with the story! I should probably point out that this is quite a lengthy story, so if you are reading, PLEEEEASE stick with me! I know it's taken a while to get going, but I promise you things are gonna start moving along now! We have the party coming up (!) and other stuff which you do NOT want to miss! The next few chapters in particular on occasion made me cry (and not just because of my crappy writing, a-ha!) Again many thanks to my super editorial team of _kaoscraze_ and _allidon_! Check their work out, they are both awesome possums!**

**So, with my babbling out of the way, I give you Chapter 6 of Embers! **

**Disclaimer: TWD and its characters did not originate in my brain. Unique food combos do however. PM for enquiries!**

Chapter 6

The house was blissfully quiet. Ed had left for his overnight away early in the morning and Carol was revelling in the peace that filtered and spread through each room as he got further away. The weight crushing her chest had lifted and she flew through the housework happily, getting it all done quickly so she could spend as long as possible with Sophia before the party. She had been in two minds about going, forever a prisoner to her morals and hating the idea of lying to him, although not as much as she hated the idea of being caught. She had to constantly remind herself she had to do this not just for herself but for Sophia. The guilt of deception quickly faded as she started to look forward to the evening and seeing her friends. For the first time in a long time, Carol felt like she could be herself again. The shadow that usually hung over her was gone and it felt amazing.

Sophia was buzzing with excitement when Carol had told her they were going. They got ready together, milking the peace and quiet for all it was worth and taking the opportunity for some long awaited girl time. Carol hated that they could never have this time when Ed was home, she had to be free to serve him when he demanded and it left very little time in her day for relaxation. It was nice to just spend time with her baby, doing girly things. Carol was painting her daughter's nails at the kitchen table, Sophia with her hair still wrapped in a towel. She was telling her all about her week at school and they got talking about boys. In particular one had been picking on her and she just couldn't seem to shake him off.

"He's like a bad smell Mama, he just won't leave me alone!"

"Has he hurt you?" Carol stopped painting and looked at her in concern.

"No, he just teases me in front of his friends." Sophia sighed and screwed her face up. "When he's on his own he doesn't say anything. Sometimes he smiles though, but he always looks away when I look up."

"Aha. Sounds to me like someone has a crush on my baby." Carol chuckled softly as she moved on to the other hand.

"A crush?" Sophia's eyes widened in horror. "Eww! I don't think so Mama."

"Oh yeah," Carol smiled. "Honey boys are silly. A lot of the time when they like someone, they show off and pick on you to look cool for their friends. When you get them on their own though and they give you that look, and go a bit red… oh yeah, you know."

"How do you know? Was it like that for you and Daddy?"

Carol was halted by the question, but moreso by a realisation that hit her like a bolt of lightning. Memories she'd more or less shut out since she married hit her in the gut again, ripping old scars open to hurt anew. She looked thoughtfully at her daughter before answering her question. "No baby, it wasn't. Before I met your father, there was… someone else."

Sophia was fascinated by this new information and waited eagerly for more. Carol hesitated, wondering if she was doing the right thing bringing the past up.

"I knew a boy once. We were best friends. He was the kindest, sweetest boy I ever knew, but he was real shy. I would catch him staring at me and he'd look away and turn bright red. He used to hide behind his hair." She smiled and gave a little giggle at the memory. "Of course it took him forever to admit he liked me but boys are like that. Not so good at the mushy stuff."

"What was his name?"

"Daryl," she smiled. "Daryl Dixon."

"Was he cute?" Sophia grinned excitedly, blowing her nails.

"Oh yeah, Daryl was very cute. He was real shy though, and quiet." Carol frowned as more memories seeped through. "His daddy was… he wasn't a very nice man."

"Like my Daddy?"

Carol shot her a warning glance, fearful of her saying such things even in his absence, but she couldn't deny the truth in the question. _Yes just like Daddy._

"He had a lot of trouble at home. But he had… me." _It wasn't enough, though._

Sophia paused, her face full of understanding and sympathy for the boy. She knew how he felt. "I'm glad he had you, mama."

"We were always together in those days," Carol smiled. "We used to have a great time, we'd do all kinds of outdoorsy stuff like fishing and climbing trees."

"Sounds like he was lots of fun," Sophia smiled back.

"He was," Carol's smile faded. "He was the best."

"What happened to him?"

Carol turned Sophia and started brushing out her damp hair. She didn't particularly want to delve any further, but if she had to then she'd rather not have Sophia register the pain in her eyes. "He moved away, and that was it. I never saw him again."

"Did he never write to you or come to visit? I thought he was your best friend."

"He was baby, but things aren't always as simple as they seem. Some things just aren't meant to be. " Carol's lip quivered and she took a deep breath to settle herself.

"Were you sad?"

"For a little while. I was really sad." Carol wiped a tear before it fell. "But then your daddy and I got married and you came along."

"Mama, I wish you had married Daryl. I wish he was my daddy instead of-"

Carol spun her round by the shoulders urgently. "Sophia, you mustn't say things like that… and you mustn't ever mention this to your daddy. He'd be very cross. We have to keep this conversation between us. Do you understand?"

"Yes Mama," Sophia nodded, a little taken aback by Carol's serious expression.

"Good girl. We need to take this off before he comes home too, okay?" Carol examined her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Sophia nodded again and Carol planted a kiss on her forehead, turning her back around to finish her hair. She suddenly felt a pang of sadness not just for her loss of Daryl, but now for Sophia's too. She'd never known any different than a life of listening from her room as her father yelled at her mother, trying to muffle the yelps and crashes under her pillow as she cried in bed. A life of knowing it was better not to ask her mama why she hissed in pain when she hugged her at the school gate, or why she couldn't stay over at her friend's house. Fresh tears prickled her eyes as she dwelt on the realisation that her daughter was just as much a prisoner in this nightmare she had long considered hers alone. She blinked the tears away, refusing to let Sophia see her upset.

"All done," she smiled, stroking Sophias cheeks. "You're so pretty. The boys will be chasing you down the street. Now scoot, let's go find something to wear."

**_xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox_**

"Daddy do you HAVE to do that?"

Carol huffed in exasperation, trying to tame her already unruly curls as her dad chuckled on the way past. Ruffling her hair was one of his favourite pastimes, mainly because he knew it drove her nuts.

"John leave her alone for goodness' sake," Gina tutted as she finished spreading her toast and placed the dripping plate of butter and bread on the table.

"Aw c'mon Gee, she loves it really, dontcha kitty cat?" John pinched a slice of toast and winked at Carol as she rolled her eyes at him and tried not to smile.

Gina looked at the kitchen clock and then at John. "Cutting it a little fine aren't you? I thought you had a meeting at nine?"

"I'm going in a minute!" he mumbled through a mouthful of toast. "Oh! My briefcase, good thing you reminded me!"

John got up and whizzed out of the kitchen, his hurried footsteps pattering upstairs leaving Carol and Gina alone. Carol munched on her toast and flicked lazily through the pages of the magazine she was reading.

"So I had a call from Mrs Graham yesterday."

Carol froze mid-chew. _Oh shit. _

"She seemed to think you hadn't shown up for your last two classes. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?"

Carol gingerly looked around at her mother, who was looking at her with folded arms and piercing blue eyes full of sternness. "I'm sorry mama. It was just this once, I promise it won't happen again."

"Carol you can't just go running off out of school! What if something happens and nobody knows where you are huh? I try to treat you like a grown up and have trust in you but when you do things like this… ugh, I don't know." Gina wiped down the kitchen counter and sighed in frustration. "Where were you Carol?"

"Mama I was with Daryl, nothing would've happened to me."

"Where Carol?" Her tone brooked no argument.

"We went for a ride." Carol spoke quietly, feebly hoping Gina wouldn't probe further.

"A ride? A ride on what, and where to exactly?"

Carol knew there was no way this conversation would end well so she decided honesty was probably her best policy, at the risk of being found guilty of lying too. Mothers knew everything, or at least hers seemed to, she would find out eventually, she had eyes everywhere.

"Just up on the hill over town," she mumbled. "We took his brother's bike and-"

"A bike? As in a motorcycle?" Gina sounded fit to explode. "Oh I don't believe I'm hearing this. Carol, you're barely seventeen! Do you have any idea how dangerous those things are? What if you'd been in an accident?"

"Mama we were careful, Daryl would never put me in danger."

"You know I'm beginning to wonder if I like you hanging around with him, I thought he was a nice boy but taking my daughter out on a motorcycle which he probably doesn't have permission to ride or insurance for that matter… I'm really not sure I'm comfortable with you seeing him."

"Please Mama, it wasn't Daryl's fault," Carol pleaded, eyes wide and full of panic. "I never meant to make you worry, ground me if you want but please don't make me stop seeing him."

"Well you give me one good reason why," Gina demanded.

John burst back into the room, out of breath from the stairs and looked like he'd walked onto a battlefield. The tension buzzing in the air didn't escape his notice but he could tell from the expression on his wife's face this was a matter to be discussed later when there was less chance of him stepping on a mine.

"Everything alright?" He attempted to lighten the mood of the room.

"Everything's fine. Shouldn't you be at work by now?" Gina scolded.

"Yes alright, I'm going!" John held his hands up in surrender. "I'll see you both later."

"Bye daddy," Carol's voice was laced with desperation, wishing he would stay and save her from this nightmare.

John winked at her and disappeared down the hall. She heard the front door closing and soon after his car engine revving as he set off for work. She could feel her mother's eyes boring into her and she looked up through watery eyes, trying to keep it together.

"Well?"

Carol looked down and screwed her face up against the tears, but they came anyway. She felt so pathetic but she didn't have a reason in her arsenal that was substantial enough to quell her mother's anger.

"You can dispense with the waterworks," Gina tried to sound stern.

Her mother's seemingly impenetrable resolve made her cry even more and after a few minutes of silence all except for her own sobbing, she heard Gina huff and throw down her dishcloth. The chair next to her scraped out and Gina sat down.

"Come on Carol, stop crying, you'll make yourself sick." Gina passed her a tissue. She hated seeing her upset and felt slightly guilty. "Look I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm just worried about what happens to you, I'm your mom, it's my job."

Carol wiped her eyes and tried to stave off her sobs, her breaths hitching as her body hiccupped against the resistance. Gina's face was softer now, not completely sympathetic, but the sternness had receded and she looked more approachable.

"I- I love him," she croaked.

"Daryl?" Gina asked. "You love Daryl?"

Carol nodded meekly. "I think so. Lately I- I've been feeling sort of… different about him."

"I see," Gina replied in her mother-knows-everything tone, "and does Daryl feel the same about you?"

"I think so. We uh…" Carol felt colour seep into her cheeks. "We sort of…"

"Sort of what?"

"We kissed," Carol mumbled bashfully.

"Uh huh." Gina couldn't help but smile a little. "Well I had a feeling this day was coming."

"You did?" Carol croaked. "How-"

"Carol I've known for months you two were getting close. A mother has eyes. You think I haven' t seen how you two are together? I also knew it was only a matter of time before you two pulled a stunt like this. I suppose I forget what it's like to be your age sometimes."

"Then why did you-"

"I wanted to hear it from you Carol. I wanted to know if I could trust you to be honest with me."

"I didn't mean to, I swear. It was just this one day, I promise it won't happen again, I'll never make you worry ever again."

Gina studied her daughter's pleading blue eyes thoughtfully, making her squirm a little as she considered her options. "Well, really I should make an example of this and ground your butt. What you did was dangerous and silly. Although you did come clean in the end. I want you to promise me, no more sneaking off like that. I will have your father walk you to class every day in his pajamas if you let me down again. Alright, you got one more chance, but you'd better not make me regret it."

"Thanks Mama, I promise I won't." Carol said quietly, not wanting to risk a smile yet.

"So, does this mean you and Daryl are a thing now?" Gina nudged her arm.

Carol blushed even harder. "I think so. I really like him a lot."

"You loved him just a minute ago, didn't you?"

"Well, I mean, y'know… I think I do." Carol stuttered. "It just feels right, like I'm meant to be with him and no one else."

"Well as much as I could wring his neck right now, he does make you happy. As long as you're happy and safe that's all I care about. I know I might sound like an ogre sometimes but that's what moms are for." Gina scraped an errant curl behind Carol's ear. "But hey, great kisser or no great kisser, I catch him whisking you off on that bike again before he's qualified to do so… I'll skin him alive, got it?"

Carol giggled and wiped her nose, relieved that the discussion seemed to be at an end. She felt strangely relieved that everything was out in the open now, relief mingled with happiness that she could be honest and come out of it more or less unscathed and feeling so much lighter from it. It was like she'd opened a new door of trust with her mother, and she vowed to herself not to let her down again. Mothers saw everything anyway, didn't they?

**_xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox_**

"Ladies, aren't you a sight for sore eyes!" Rick greeted them as they entered the hallway.

Sophia giggled and Carol smiled at her friend, accepting his embrace. "Wouldn't have missed it. Where's your lady wife?"

"Ugh," he groaned. "She's in the kitchen causing mayhem. She's like a bear with a sore head. Well, more than usual."

"Oh," she exclaimed. "Do you think she needs a hand?"

A loud clatter of metal pots and pans landing unceremoniously behind the kitchen door made them both flinch. "I'll wait til she comes out."

Rick showed Carol and Sophia through the living room and out into the back garden to wait as Lori cleared up the carnage in the kitchen. Carol immediately zoned in on the cause of Lori's stress as Shane looked up and nodded in acknowledgement. They sat down as Rick disappeared indoors and Carol braced herself for raised voices. Carol could just make them out through the kitchen window and Lori looked like she could spit nails.

"Sophia, you made it!" Carl came running out of the house and made a beeline for her.

"Hey!" Sophia grinned. "Where's Simba? I've really missed him!"

"He's around here somewhere, let's go find him."

"Mama, can I?" Sophia batted her eyelids.

"Course you can honey, I'll be fine til you get back."

Carol smiled as she watched the two of them run off in search of the dog. Her smile faded as she looked up and saw Shane staring in the direction of the kitchen, swigging from his bottle irritably. Rick had managed to appease his wife to some extent and had his hand on her face, before pulling her into a close embrace. Shane grunted in disgust and stomped inside to use the bathroom, leaving a trail of tension behind him.

Carol got up and ventured over to the drinks table to pour herself something cold. It was hot as hell still, even though it was early evening. Thankfully Ed had left her alone for a few days, and her bruise was gone so she could wear light summer clothes and not worry about hiding her shame. She smiled up as Lori came outside and greeted her with a megawatt smile and a hug.

"I'm so happy you're here!" she gushed. "Where's Sophia?"

"Oh she deserted me the second we got here, she and her partner in crime are off looking for the dog." Carol smirked. "How are you? It's so good to see you."

"Ugh, well I was fine up until about an hour ago when Shane showed up." Lori rolled her eyes and poured herself a drink.

"Yeah, I saw. I thought you told Rick not to invite him?"

"He didn't see what the big deal was, and frankly I didn't have the energy to argue. He's here now, so I just gotta smile like an idiot and pretend I don't wanna kill him." Lori took a big gulp of her drink and sighed.

Carol giggled and sipped her own drink. "Are we still talking about Shane or are we back to Rick?"

"Oh don't worry, I'm not done with him either yet."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Well hello my dears! Another week over, another chapter for you! I am so excited because I was sitting on Monday fretting about where the story was going and all of a sudden I had a Eureka moment and it all just came spilling out! I can't wait for you guys to see what's coming up! **

**I hope you like this chapter. Again, reviews are most welcome, I read them all and try to reply :) Please stick with me, I know it's taken a while to get going but here's where it all kicks off! Enjoy my loves!**

**(Oh, and THAT McReedus kissy hand pic? If anyone has a spare set of ovaries, they're needed over here.)**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners, no copyright infringement intended, blah blah you know the drill ;) **

Chapter 7

"It is so good to see you! You've barely changed at all!" The pretty blonde gushed as she released Carol from a bear hug.

"Oh I think I have a few more wrinkles than the last time you saw me," she chuckled.

Andrea tutted in objection and sighed happily. When Carol had looked up from her drink and saw her sweep through the door in a flurry of curls and perfume just like she always had, she could have burst. The last time she'd seen Andrea, she was leaving for a bright new life in New York. The attorney's office in Georgia where she'd began her career was closing and she'd been headhunted by a big firm in Manhattan. She'd been Carol's neighbour two doors down for a few years, often taking Sophia for a few hours and even overnight sometimes to give Carol a much needed rest. They'd been good friends, and Carol had really missed her when she left. Knowing she was practically next door gave Carol a crutch in times when she found it difficult to function through lack of sleep, and a friend when things got desperately lonely. Seeing her again brought back a sea of emotions and memories, but she couldn't have been happier to see her friend again.

"How long are you back in town for?" Carol asked hopefully.

"Unfortunately not that long, they want to make me partner in Manhattan so looks like I might be staying there for the long haul."

"Oh that's wonderful news," Carol put on a front, hiding the disappointment in her voice.

"But hey, you should come visit me." Andrea's face lit up at the idea. "I'll pay your flights out, and you can stay at my place. It would be great to catch up properly."

"I would love that," Carol's heart soared at the thought, before being snatched back to earth. "But I'll have to check with Ed."

"Ah, right."

Andrea's expression said she knew it all, and she did. She'd always suspected that Ed was heavy handed. He was abrupt and never missed an opportunity to bring Carol down in public, and she could read on Carol's face that there was something darker troubling her. Like Lori, Andrea had begged Carol to get out while she still could, but she always insisted that she was fine and nothing was going on. With no proof, there was very little Andrea could do, despite wanting to rip that bastard limb from limb in court. Seeing Carol all these years later left her feeling guilty and cold; she hadn't gotten out. She could see every invisible scar etched into Carol's features, in the way she held herself, in the way her head dipped and her eyes fell to the ground at the mention of Ed's name, as if the name itself could hurt her. As much as she felt compelled to, she decided not to launch into a full blown lecture. Carol's cheeks were starting to burn with shame and she knew from previous experience it would do no good to make her feel worse. She was only back for a short time, and upsetting Carol wasn't in her plans.

"Where's Sophia?" Andrea asked, changing the subject.

"Oh she's around here somewhere, I can't keep up with that girl honestly." Carol sighed in defeat.

"She was the exact same when she was little. I used to lock everything in the cupboards 'cause she would just climb on anything she could find to get at things."

"That sounds like my girl alright," Carol chuckled. "I swear God gave me a monkey by mistake. She's always scraping or bumping something."

Right on cue, Carl came running towards her. She expected Sophia to follow, but when she didn't she felt her heart pick up a little.

"Where's Sophia?" She asked, praying her voice didn't betray her.

"We were racing bikes down the street and she fell off," Carl panted. "She's cut up her knee."

A grazed knee shouldn't have been a big deal, but it made her stomach churn. She would have to keep a lid on the alarm bells in front of Andrea. The last thing she needed was her asking awkward questions about a big fuss over a scraped knee.

"Oh dear." Carol's pulse quickened and she hoped the front she was putting on wouldn't be rumbled. "Tell her I'll be there in a sec."

Carol sighed shakily as Carl ran off back to Sophia and she looked at Andrea apologetically. "I better go and make sure she's alright, I shouldn't be too long. "

"Don't worry we have the rest of the night to catch up," she smiled. "It's really great to see you again, Carol."

"You too."

Carol strode through the kitchen and down the hall towards the open front door. Carl was waiting for her. She'd hoped to find Sophia back on her bike, tearing down the street again, oblivious to any injury. She couldn't see her though, and she felt her chest tighten as she scanned the block frantically.

"Where's Sophia?" Carol looked at him anxiously.

"She came off up there," Carl pointed up the street a bit to where Sophia's bike lay crashed.

Sophia was sitting on the ground, both hands over her left knee, and her tears had dried and left trails down her dirty cheeks. Her face was crumpled in pain, but when she looked up and saw Carol approaching her features dropped.

"Sophia are you alright?!" she exclaimed, rushing towards her and kneeling to examine the damage. "Lemme see."

Her stomach lurched when she saw the damage. She had been expecting just a scuff, but was instead greeted by the sight of Sophia's best pants in shreds. The knee was torn, its material completely soaked in deep red. Sophia's knee looked a lot worse than it was, but her pants were ruined. Lord knew how she would explain this one away to Ed. He was always reminding her that he paid for the clothes on their backs, and she shuddered at the thought of what he would say when he saw this. Ed was always drilling on about how clumsy Sophia was. Recently he'd been extremely vocal on the subject, on how it made him look having a kid that couldn't walk twenty yards without falling over herself. With his temper almost as bad as she'd ever seen it, Carol felt sick with worry. She'd promised Sophia he would never lift a hand to her but all the while she was growing more and more scared that she was wrong. She snapped back to reality. Sophia had to come first, she would worry about Ed later. They were closer to Carol's house than Lori's, and she had everything there that she needed to patch up Sophia's knee.

"Good Lord Sophia, how fast were you going?" she scolded, trying to disguise the tension in her voice. "Can you stand up?"

"Yeah I think so," she grimaced as Carl took one arm and Carol took the other, helping her to her feet.

"Come on, let's go and get you cleaned up."

They helped Sophia hobble back to Carol's house and up the few steps to the front door.

Carol could hear the phone ringing before she had the key in the door, but by the time she had the door open it had rung out. She huffed and set her keys down by the phone as she helped Sophia into the kitchen and sat her down at the table.

"What am I gonna do with you missy?" Carol asked as she rummaged in the cupboard under the sink for her first aid kit. "How did you manage to fall?"

"It was _his_ fault mama, he bumped into me. Just cause I was beating you!" She turned and stuck her tongue out at him.

"You were not!" he objected shrilly.

"Was too!"

"Hey!" Carol intervened. "Come on now, that's enough. Carl you can go on back now, we'll have to get changed. Tell your mom we'll be back in a few minutes."

"Okay," he nodded, turning on his heel and striding back outside.

Carol peeled the blood soaked pants off and examined Sophia's tattered knee. She set to work, cleaning up the graze and Sophia winced as the antiseptic took effect and stung like mad. The bleeding seemed to have clotted, but Carol bandaged it up to be on the safe side. The silence between mother and daughter was heavy and dark.

"Sophia what were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry Mama," Sophia mumbled, her voice full of remorse.

"I've told you repeatedly you have to be careful!" she exclaimed, her voice almost a nervous screech. "What am I supposed to tell your father when he sees this?"

She could see the tears welling in Sophia's eyes and felt guilt wash over her. She knew Sophia hadn't done it on purpose, but all she could think about was how in the hell she was gonna explain this to Ed when he came home.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but you gave me a fright. You have to be more careful, you know your daddy doesn't like you going around with scraped knees." Carol stroked Sophia's sticky face.

"Is he gonna be mad at me?" Sophia looked at her torn pants wistfully.

"No sweetie," Carol bundled them up. "We'll just need to be extra careful and make sure he doesn't see. Now go on upstairs and get changed."

Sophia nodded obediently and walked carefully and quietly upstairs. Carol watched her go and heaved out a sigh as she turned her attention to the ruined pants. They were her best ones, and hadn't exactly been cheap. He would go apeshit if he found out. She examined the damage to find that they were indeed screwed. No amount of sewing or soaking would fix this mess. She went into the kitchen drawer and found a black bag, stuffing the pants into it and wrapping them into a tight bundle. She would have to hide them. Ed wasn't due home until tomorrow, but she wasn't taking any chances by leaving them lying around until she came home from the party. She racked her brains trying to think of somewhere he wouldn't look. The cupboard under the sink, where she kept mostly cleaning products, seemed like the perfect place. He never went in there, mainly because he never got off his ass to clean anything. She stuffed the bag in at the back, behind the bleach and floor cleaner, and made sure it couldn't be seen.

"I'm ready Mama," Sophia reappeared at the foot of the stairs, looking no worse for wear.

"Okay sweetie I'm coming."

Carol was heading back down the hall when the phone rang again and she suddenly felt her guts sink like a lead balloon. It was him. She just knew it would be him.

"You go on back to Lori's, I'll be along in a few minutes." Carol smiled, trying to mask the fear that she knew must have been written on her face.

Sophia smiled and set off back down the street. Carol turned her attention to the insistent ringing of the phone. As the ringing continued adamantly, she just knew in her gut it was him. Every ring sounded shriller and more angry than the last, and she could see him sitting at the other end of the line, the vein in his temple pulsing as his temper grew. He didn't like to be kept waiting. She stared at the phone and willed it to stop ringing. To answer it now frightened her. He would be pissed off, and somehow he would _know_. Eventually she pulled herself to her feet and leapt for the receiver before it rung out, terrified that she would miss it and pay later. He wouldn't try all night; she knew if she missed this one she would have an even bigger cloud hanging over her head until he got home.

"Hello?" she said quietly.

**_xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox_**

Dale had picked him up at around seven and they'd headed over to Rick and Lori's house for the party. Daryl had been in two minds all day about going, his guts churning at the thought of standing around like some jackass who didn't fit in anywhere, but Dale was having none of it and waited until he was ready. Now they were in Dale's truck and had stopped outside a house in the middle of a picturesque little street. The gardens were well kept; colourful flowers and pristine lawns trailed the entire length of the street, and Daryl felt completely out of place. He'd worn his best clothes, which for him amounted to the jeans with least holes in them and a shirt with sleeves, but he still felt like he was infringing the dress code.

"I dunno 'bout this, man," he huffed, resting his elbow on the door and scratching his head. "Standin' round makin' smalltalk ain't me. I don't know anybody."

"What about making new memories, huh? You won't make them sitting around by yourself." Dale opened the driver's door. "Come on, it'll be fine, stop worrying."

"I ain't worryin', just don't see why he wants me here, guy don't even know me."

"Ugh look we've been through this, just come inside and try to loosen up. It won't kill you to have a little fun for once, will it?" Dale eyed him insistently.

"Alright, I'll go," Daryl sighed in defeat, pushing his door open and jumping out.

The humidity was already making his shirt cling to the small of his back, and Daryl just knew this was gonna be the most damn uncomfortable evening ever. The heat wave hadn't let up and forecasters were predicting it to get even hotter over the coming week. He was regretting letting Dale drag him to this party; he could be at home laying around in his underwear doing nothing instead of having to make shitty small talk and sweating bullets. He huffed anxiously as Dale pressed the doorbell and waited for someone to answer. Every footstep behind the door made him want to go home before finally the door opened and Rick appeared, his face welcoming and familiar.

"Dale, Daryl. Glad you could make it. Please, c'mon in." Rick waved them through into the hallway.

Daryl nodded in acknowledgment and followed Dale's lead as they passed through the hallway. He felt really out of place now. Daryl took in the pristine, homely décor and the photos dotted all over the walls. This guy definitely hadn't had a hard day in his life. Photos of him and his kid, his wife who was very easy on the eyes, photos of their damn dog. He was silently envious and wanted to hate him, but he couldn't.

He followed Dale and Rick out through the kitchen and into the back yard where the barbeque was in full swing and the smell of charred meat and smoke filled his nose.

"I won't be a sec, make yourselves at home," Rick smiled before disappearing in pursuit of his wife.

Daryl was relieved to find it wasn't a huge gathering of people; in his mind he'd stepped out into a yard bustling with people who all stopped and studied him suspiciously. This was doable. Everyone was just chatting amongst themselves and seemed relaxed enough, nobody looked up and nudged elbows furtively. For the first time that day he breathed a sigh of relief and started to relax a little. He recognised Lori from the photographs, mingling and making sure people had a drink and something to eat. He scanned the modest gathering and made quick analyses of each person. Most of them passed as generally okay, except for one guy with a shaved head who'd eyeballed him the second he'd noticed he was there. Daryl took an instant dislike to him. He didn't like the feeling he was getting from him, lurking at the back table, his hooded eyes stalking Lori around the garden, never breaking the line of sight as he swigged his beer. There was anger behind those eyes, Daryl was an expert in that field, and he detected resentment and bitterness there too. It didn't take him long to work out the cause and that Rick clearly didn't have a clue about it.

"He's a piece of work that one." Dale appeared beside him, reading his thoughts.

"What's the story with him and her?" Daryl looked at him and nodded towards Lori covertly.

"It's rumoured, and they are only rumours, that there was uh…" Dale hushed his voice. "A thing, y'know?"

"No shit. When?"

"Oh years ago but Shane's never been one to forget things easily. They're rumours for conversation sake but you just watch him. It's written all over his face." Dale's voice was laced with disgust as he watched Shane.

"Rick don't know nothin' about it?"

"If he does he's a bigger man than me, and one hell of an actor." Dale forced the last few words out quickly as Rick walked over with Lori in tow to greet her guests.

"Hey Dale, nice of you to come by," she grinned, kissing him on the cheek before turning to Daryl and looking to Rick for an introduction.

"Honey this is the man I was telling you about, he really saved my ass the other day. This is Daryl, Daryl this is my wife Lori."

"Nice to meet you Daryl…?" Lori smiled at him expectantly as she held out her hand.

Daryl realised he was idling and grasped her hand. "Oh, Dixon."

Lori's face dropped like she'd been slapped and he saw a flash of something in her eyes, almost like recognition, but he'd never seen her before in his life. It unnerved him the way she suddenly went from politely inquisitive to completely cold and shifty. Something uncomfortable lurked behind her eyes and it was gonna eat away at him if he didn't find out. She pulled her hand away as if she'd just put it in a box of crickets and looked away from him nervously.

"Hey, you okay?" Rick looked at her curiously.

"Yeah, I've just got a bit of a headache, it's this heat. Think I'm gonna go inside for five minutes." Lori shifted from foot to foot awkwardly. "It was nice meeting you Mr Dixon."

"Daryl," he corrected.

"Daryl," she replied curtly, his name drawling out of her mouth like some vulgar swear word.

She looked back over her shoulder at Daryl as she disappeared inside. His eyes followed her uneasily. What the hell was her problem? The way she'd looked at him it was like he had three heads instead of one. He didn't like her much either so far; something definitely wasn't right there.

"Sorry I dunno what's the matter with her, she's not usually like that." Rick screwed his eyes up as he pondered his wife's abrupt departure.

"S'alright man, not the first time that's happened," Daryl smirked.

Rick chuckled apologetically and patted Daryl's back. "Come on, lemme get you a beer and you can meet everyone."

**_xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox_**

"Where the hell have you been?" The voice hit her like a blow to the stomach. "Four fuckin' times I've called!"

"I-I was in the bathroom." She lied.

"When I call I expect you to answer, I don't like to be kept hangin' like some jackass!" The angry voice blasted her ears, completely disregarding her reply.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"I don't care if the place is being fuckin' invaded by aliens, when I call you pick up…"

Carol's self worth plummeted as his voice continued its slurred attack on her delicate ears. He was quite obviously drunk - she could hear a jukebox blaring in the background and raucous laughter perforated by pool balls being struck. Her mind registered intermittent fucks and damns, the rest all blurring into white noise as she drifted somewhere else. She had been such a fool to believe she could escape his grasp for one joyful night alone with her daughter. The warden may have left the prison, but he was still there, ever omnipresent and quick to remind them of their place. Was this really what their lives had become? They deserved so much more than this. She could pack hers and Sophia's bags and be gone by the time he got back. They could go anywhere they wanted. They could be free from this prison. It was all just a dream though. She had no power, allowing him to demolish her, apologies and appeasements slipping freely from her lips as he went on at her, chipping little pieces of her soul away. She played absently with the phone cord, stretching it out and letting it ping back as she fought the bitter sting in her eyes. By the time he'd broken her and hung up she was on the floor, huddled against the stairs. The line crackled with electricity, her ears buzzing from his venom, like someone had clanged a church bell with her head inside it. She tried to fight the quiver in her bottom lip. Lori and Andrea would be wondering where she'd gotten to. She had to put on her party face now.

The phone call and the drama with Sophia really knocked the wind out of her sails, and she had to sit for ten minutes and calm down before she even thought about going back to the party. How was she supposed to go back and face Lori and the others after this without them picking up on it? She felt rage burning through the usual knot of fear in the pit of her stomach and she tried to swallow it back like a child being forced to take bitter medicine. The relief she'd felt since he'd left for the weekend had fizzled out the second she heard his voice, and she hated him for being able to take even that away from her. Despite the distance, he had still managed to make her feel like a mongrel. He just knew how to get under her skin and make her feel like she was less than nothing. She didn't know how much longer she could live like this. Soon she was going to have to make a decision. She wiped her angry tears and washed her face, but the feeling in her gut was going to be tougher to get rid of.

She closed the door and locked it, wishing she could leave the sound of his voice behind the door. Instead it rang in her ears, echoing and making her feel nauseous. Hopefully the walk back to the party would blow the droning out of her head and help her relax. It was a beautiful evening after all. She walked back down to Lori's and noticed there was another truck parked outside. It hadn't been there when she'd left to look for Sophia. As she drew closer she thought that it looked vaguely familiar. She thought she'd maybe seen it around town.

Carol made her way back through the Grimes' kitchen into the back garden. Now that she was free for the rest of the night, she breathed a deep sigh and tried to let the weight melt away. As she stepped out into the warm early evening air, her mind wandered and she didn't really pay attention to where she was going. She collided face first with a warm body and jolted back to the present.

"What the hell?"

Carol froze like someone had her held at gunpoint. A voice long forgotten in some other place in time forced the air from her lungs. A rough southern drawl, deeper than it had been, invaded her ears. _It's your imagination, it's not him_.He'd been turning around for a hundred years in front of her, everything slowing down. Time stopped, her heart stopped, felt like it was collapsing in on itself like a dying star. Steely blue eyes narrowed in disbelief as they scanned her face, recognition igniting instantly. His perfect mouth, his rough chin, his ragged mop of dark hair. All the same as they ever were.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hope you like this chapter. I've tried to imagine what it would feel like seeing someone again after so long after parting on such terms (you will find out soon enough ;) its coming!) So hopefully you guys like it. Again thanks to my wee dream team_ kaoscraze_ and _allidon _for all their help and listening to my moaning.**

**Disclaimer: TWD and its characters belong to their rightful owners, and not me. *mourns* **

Chapter 8

"Carol?" His voice fled almost like a whisper, like he was convinced his eyes were deceiving him.

She stood there breathless, willing herself to believe what she was seeing and take in the man standing in front of her. Her heart hammered into life and all at once like an avalanche, she was being crushed beneath the weight of all the heartache she'd kept locked away, forgotten until now. Every memory good and bad that she'd buried was breaking free from the shadows. Like a movie reel she saw everything flash in her vision, every moment they had ever shared together, and parts of her that had all but blown out long ago began to stir painfully. She couldn't breathe; every fibre of her wanted to run, but her feet were bolted into the ground. She'd blocked him out for what felt like her whole life; convinced herself that it had all been an illusion from another life, yet here he was standing in front of her, striking her heart like a bolt of lightening just like he always had, his chest seized by shock, falling suddenly as he allowed himself to breath again.

"Is it really you?"

Carol realised her mouth was gaping open, and somehow she managed to snap out of her trance. Words escaped her, her brain suddenly struck stupid by the shock. Words had plagued her when he'd left; there was so much she'd never got the chance to yell at him, but now she didn't know whether to throw her arms around him or bolt in the opposite direction. It was too much. She feared tears were imminent, but she was damned if she was gonna let him make her cry. Not again.

"Shit, it's been… forever. How are ya?" He breathed.

"I'm fine. You?"

Daryl looked nonplussed at her reaction to seeing him after all this time, like he'd been expecting something more. She could see the gears in his mind working, trying to figure out what to say next that could possibly gloss over a gulf of more than a decade.

"M'good." Daryl chewed his lip, like he'd always done when he was nervous. "Can't believe I'm standin' here talkin' to ya after all this time."

"Yeah, me too. You're looking… well." She softened a little, finding it impossible to be totally immune to him.

He offered a half smile in return and his face seemed to darken, acknowledging that there was unfinished business and that he probably didn't deserve the compliment.

"Y'ain't lookin' too shabby yourself."

Carol managed to force a weak smile and tried not to blush. "What brings you back to this neck of the woods? How long you in town for?"

"Dunno yet, I got some stuff to sort out. My old man bit the big one a few months back so I'm takin' care of some business."

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, looking at her feet and knowing that it was a lie, but feeling compelled to say it out of obligation to be polite.

"Pfft, don't be." Daryl pushed thoughts of his father to the back of his mind, the memories tasting like ash in his mouth. "How's your folks? They here?"

Carol's face dropped. "They've been gone a long time. My parents passed away not long after you left."

"Shit, I'm sorry." Daryl bit his lip as his shoulders sagged and he eyed her sympathetically. "What happened?"

"Car crash. My dad was pulling out and a drunk driver smashed right into them." She looked up at him dismissively, like it was no big deal. "It was very quick."

"They were good people. Must have hit ya real hard."

"Yeah, it did." Carol held his gaze, her tone full of purpose.

Daryl's eyes flitted nervously, guessing that the frost that had set into her voice was partially directed at him. There was so much they had left unsaid, and it hung in the air like a storm cloud. Neither of them had even hinted at it, but she knew they both were tuned into the same wavelength. _You should have been there for me._

Before either one of them could break the silence, the tension was ripped apart like tissue paper by a small voice as Sophia came cantering into the garden, none the worse for wear after her ordeal.

"Mama, I've been looking all- oh…"

Daryl looked at Sophia in surprise and then at Carol. "Mama?"

Carol felt like a rabbit caught in headlights, but she knew there was no getting out of this without making things any more awkward. "Sophia honey, this is Daryl. Daryl, this is my daughter Sophia."

"Hi Daryl," Sophia smiled, shaking his hand before pausing as the pieces clicked in her head. "Oh… _Daryl._ Mama is this the kindest, sweetest boy ever you told me about?"

"Sophia!" Carol yelped, her cheeks burning fiercely.

"Well is it?"

"You said that?" Daryl asked, his own face now glowing. "About me?"

"I uh… ." Carol shot Sophia a playful glare. "Yeah, I guess I did."

Daryl dipped his head in a little smirk, both flattered and embarrassed, before meeting Sophia's inquisitive gaze again. "Good to meet ya Sophia."

Sophia smiled up at Daryl innocently and then rather curiously at her mother. "Mama why is your face all red?"

"I'm uh… just gonna get a drink," Daryl snorted a nervous laugh in Sophia's direction, his eyes dancing with amusement, lingering on Carol for a moment before he made his escape.

Carol watched him go, relieved that he'd taken his leave and not prolonged the embarrassment any further. Her heart was still hammering in her chest. He was really there, in front of her. She'd never expected to see him again, he was a blurred apparition in her mind like so many other things that had happened in her life. He'd walked out of her world what felt like a lifetime ago and she hadn't heard a word from him since. _But he's here_. For a moment there was turmoil in her head, as other memories began to surface, the pain and hurt fading momentarily as slivers of sunlight tried to poke their way through. Sophia's candidness had brought back their conversation from earlier that evening and she found herself feeling nostalgic. He was back, and as wrong as it felt, she couldn't help but feel a seed of happiness begging to sprout deep down inside. Her thoughts crashed around her like waves as she felt an intent stare gripping her. She looked down and found Sophia staring up at her, grinning from ear to ear.

"What?"

"You're smiling Mama."

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

She eventually tracked Lori down, glimpsing her through the open door of the kitchen. She was about to walk in when she realised there was someone else in there with her. It sounded like they were in the midst of a heated discussion, and Carol held back, not wanting to eavesdrop but unable to move.

"Can't just brush me off whenever it suits you Lori... You know how I feel about you."

"Keep your voice down," Lori hissed. "You want the whole world to know?"  
"Hell," Shane's voice broke, "maybe it'd be a lot easier if they did."  
"I'm married Shane, when is that gonna get through that thick skull of yours? What happened between us is ancient history. You have to let this go, it was a mistake, end of story."  
Shane snorted in objection and looked at the floor. "Maybe for you it was..."  
"Stop it," Lori seethed, her temper fraying rapidly. "Rick's practically your brother, what do you think this would do to him?"  
"Would kill him," Shane muttered. "Instead it's killin' me."

Shane reached for Lori's face and she jerked her head away from him sharply. His face crumpled with hurt and anger. It was the first time Carol had seen him look actually pained. He let out a frustrated, shaky sigh, dropping back from her and reeling in her rejection. He stormed out back, defeated and rejected. Lori sagged against the kitchen counter, visibly drained from the encounter as she stared at the tiled floor in apparent disbelief at what had just happened. She poured a glass of wine and took a big gulp as Carol finally deemed it safe to enter.

"Hey, I've been looking for you," she said. "Wondered where you'd run off to."  
"Running sounds like a good idea," she replied, taking another gulp from her glass.  
"I overheard, I'm sorry."  
"He just won't let it drop. I feel like such a bitch, but he just won't accept it. Him being here is bad enough but that just now has got me in a panic. He's had a couple of drinks, I'm just waiting on him saying something to Rick. I can't relax Carol, I feel like I'm gonna lose it." Lori screwed up her face in frustration and tapped her nails against the glass.  
"He won't say anything," Carol frowned. "Rick's like a brother to him, he wouldn't hurt him."  
"Hmm well we'll see how that goes."

Carol knew it was a guess at best; Shane was unpredictable and for some unknown reason in her head she felt an unease around him, like he was a time bomb with a lit fuse. She pushed thoughts of Shane out of her mind and remembered why she'd come looking for Lori.

"Why didn't you tell me Daryl was gonna be here?" Carol eyed Lori insistently.  
Lori's face dropped. "I'm so sorry, I honestly had no idea. Rick just told me he fixed his car and he was new in town, so he invited him along. I didn't realise it was him 'til he told me his full name. I'm sorry, is it too weird?"  
"It was a bit of a shock. I haven't seen him since we were teenagers. I honestly never thought I would see him again so the last place I expected to bump into him was right on my doorstep."

"God I'm sorry. If I'd known-"

"It's alright, it's not your fault," Carol waved dismissively, pouring herself a glass. "Do you know how long he's in town for?"

"I dunno, I took off outta there pretty quick," Lori sipped her glass and winced.

Carol looked concerned. "You alright?"  
"Yeah I'm fine, just feeling a little churned up today. All this week actually. Think it's just this stuff with Shane." She rubbed her chest and screwed her face up.  
"Hmm I dunno, maybe you should get a check up just to be safe."  
"Oh I'll be fine. Now, let's talk about you and Daryl." Lori changed the subject quickly.  
"There is no me and Daryl, that was all a very long time ago. Besides, I'm married now." Carol's voice fell at the last moment.  
"Married. Yeah, that word covers a lot of sins."  
"Drop it, please Lori? I don't want Sophia to hear."  
"Carol you can't run from this the rest of your life. Sooner or later, you're gonna have to stand up for yourself, and for Sophia. You're my best friend. Please, I really don't wanna see you get hurt."

The softness of Lori's voice and the concern etched in her features made Carol want nothing more than to fling herself into her friends arms and let everything spill out, all the hurt and misery. The tongue lashing from Ed still echoing in her head made it even harder to resist, but somehow she steeled herself against the welling behind her eyes and managed to mumble a response.

"I'm fine Lori. We're fine. I can handle my own problems, in my own way."  
"I hope you're right Carol, I do." Lori put her glass down and moved closer to Carol, bringing her hands up to her shoulders. "But you gotta promise me, that if you decide you can't handle it any more, you don't hesitate, you come get me or Rick, and we'll get you help. Okay?"  
"I'll be okay, really."  
"Promise me Carol." Lori locked on to her eyes, determined to extract the answer she needed to hear.

Carol let out a deep breath, as if saying the words was as good as admitting her shame. "I promise."

Lori drew her into a tight embrace and Carol clung on. Sometimes she badly needed a hug from a friend, and with moments where she could find such comfort few and far between, she savoured the contact knowing that it might be a long time before the next one.

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

Daryl was in a state of shock. He barely tasted the beer as he took long pulls from his bottle, eyes out of focus on the grass, trying to work out how the hell she of all people would end up at the first goddamn place he got invited to. His heart had almost shuddered to a halt when he'd turned around and saw her standing there in front of him, her wild curls kissing her porcelain skin in the summer breeze. Instantly it had resumed a beat long forgotten, the beat that resounded hers. When he'd left all those years ago he'd been so consumed with guilt he'd just shut her out. Everything they'd shared he locked away, feeling like he didn't deserve to remember or cherish memories he'd crunched under his boot like ash. He could feel fresh helpings of guilt piling on top of him, worsened by the unwelcome news that her parents had died not long after his departure. He didn't know loss, true loss like she had. When his old man had died he just felt empty. He couldn't begin to imagine what Carol had been through, and she had to go through it alone, without him. Daryl was angry at himself. Angry at his old man, Merle. It bubbled beneath the surface, travelling up through his arm, causing him to grip the bottle so hard the tendons in his arm strained.

As he sat and replayed events in his mind, feeling steadily worse, Carol was coming towards the table he was sitting at. Lori cast him a brief glance before going off to find Rick. He hung his head, scrutinising his beer bottle with a little too much concentration, hoping it would somehow deflect the imminent awkwardness.

"Not much of a party person huh?" she joked dryly, cracking open a beer for herself. "Me neither."

"Pfft… since when?" he snorted, taking another gulp and avoiding her eyes.

"Oh Daryl," she sighed. "You've no idea."

His mouth had dried up in spite of the beer. He could feel the awkward tension beading down his forehead and the small of his back. A trip down memory lane, especially this lane, was not something he'd bargained on when he let Dale drag him out of the house. He knew how much he'd hurt her, how much he'd hurt himself. She was just as articulate as she'd always been; hell, if anything she'd gotten sharper with age. She'd barely said two words to him and he already had an idea of what was coming.

"Carol, I'm… m'sorry." He decided to get in before she could. "Bout your folks. I had no idea."

"No, you wouldn't have," she replied indifferently. "But, I survived. I always do."

"I shoulda been there."

"There's nothing you could've done." Carol said coldly. "Besides, I wasn't alone. There were people here for me… friends."

"Yeah but _I _shoulda been here." Daryl chanced a quick glance up at her.

"It's done. It's all in the past ," she frowned, her eyes avoiding him..

Her abruptness and acceptance unnerved him, it wasn't how he remembered her at all. The fire was gone from her eyes, replaced by a veil of frost that shut the world out. This was a different person sitting next to him. She had changed, like there was a part of her missing. He felt the need to dig, just to keep the lines of communication open with her or risk losing her all over again.

"So, you're happily married huh?" He blurted the words out before he could think about them.

Carol shot him a dark glare, as if he knew too much already. "Yes, I'm married."

Daryl swallowed, trying to ignore the unworthy swell of jealousy creeping up his throat. _Grow up man. _"M'glad ya found someone, really. Ya deserve to be happy. He's a lucky guy."

Carol glanced briefly at him, as if there was something she wanted to say. There was something lurking in her eyes that made him suspect she was hiding something from him. They'd told each other everything once upon a time, and the temptation was there to ask her what was on her mind, but he pushed the notion away. It wasn't the same as before; she was practically a stranger and her life was none of his business anymore. He'd seen to that, and he felt his heart break a little.

"How about you?" Carol changed the subject, her eyes falling to the grass. "You married?"

"Nah."

"Girlfriend?"

"Nope. Never did find the right girl." He looked up at her from behind his hair.

Carol met his eyes. "Maybe you did. You just let her go."

Their eyes locked for a moment, both of them coming full circle back to the present. Her eyes still had the power to render him helpless; he found himself holding his breath without even thinking. He could see they swam with bitterness and questions left unanswered, but there was something else there. Something warm and familiar, something that had never quite left. They were still the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen, and he knew that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Time hadn't stood still in Senoia, but she was here, and he wasn't walking away. Not this time.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Well we're marching on with this big ol' yarn now aren't we? Well, you lot are, I've been writing since February and I'm still not done! Anyway, can I just thank you lovely bunch for reviewing, following, favouriting and just being awesome... last week the response I had was fabbity fab so cheers muchly! Also thank you if you bother to read my notes! I know it's a load of waffle, but I had a guest review last week asking could I please put AU warnings in... My notes from chapter 1 say this is an AU, so if you missed it LOOK HARDER! These notes are for your benefit so if you miss anything then I can't help ya ;)**

**So now these two have come crashing together again, it's time to start unravelling what happened! I keep trying to put myself in their shoes, what it would be like so hopefully it comes across as intended. This chapter is one of my favourites... you'll see why ;)**

**Enjoy my loves!**

**Disclaimer: TWD and its characters sadly are not the fruits of my labour... although if season 5 falls short of my high standards I may just apply for custody. **

Chapter 9

Carol hadn't realised she was staring, but she had been unable to resist the pull, zoning out as Andrea and Lori chatted, their airy voices getting further away as she sunk into herself. She was numb with shock, still reeling from Ed's verbal wrecking ball, and now this. Sitting down was more of a necessity right now than just being social. The heat was really amping up her nausea and she felt if she didn't sit she would end up on the ground. This was overwhelming. It felt so unreal to her, sharing the same space as him after all this time. She'd been the other half of him once, they'd known everything about each other - or at least she thought they had - and then all she'd had were memories that got fainter and faded like photographs through the years. Now he was only a few feet away from her, almost a complete stranger. She could see glimpses of a boy she once knew, gestures and tics resurfacing as he listened to Rick and Dale, mannerisms that would never leave him, imprinted on her brain. He was the same socially awkward Daryl, his hands tucked under his arms, hiding behind his hair and contributing only nods and grunts into conversations. For the first time in a long time she found herself remembering and fighting the urge to allow herself to feel something, anything.

"Uh hello? Earth to Carol!" Lori's voice came ringing through the haze.

"Hmm?" Carol's head jerked round. "Sorry what?"

"You back with us?" Lori giggled. "You were miles away."

"Sorry, I guess I was…"

"Everything okay? You've been quiet since you came back," Andrea observed.

Carol forced a smile, hoping it would be enough to convince them to drop it. "Oh no, I'm fine honestly."

"You've been on the moon for the past half hour," Lori stated the obvious, true to form. "Would it have anything to do with seeing a certain someone again?"

Carol felt a stab of anxiety at the question. Ed's voice was still raw in her ears and to even be here let alone discussing the man that used to be her heart and soul made her uneasy, like he would somehow hear it on the wind. "Lori, please."

"What? Have I missed something?" Andrea looked at them both in turn.

"It's nothing, really." Carol eyed Lori purposefully.

"You see the guy with Rick and Dale?" Lori nodded in their direction.

"You mean the awkward looking guy with his back to us?"

"Yeah," Lori replied, hushing her voice slightly. "He was Carol's high school sweetheart."

"Lori!" Carol scolded, the conversation already making her desperately uncomfortable.

Lori brushed off her reprimand, and Carol knew from the look on her face she had the bit between her teeth and wasn't going to let it go. She felt her heart pick up, dreading where the conversation was going.

"Wow," Andrea exclaimed, eyes wandering over Daryl's frame as he turned slightly. "He's hot. Carol don't take this the wrong way, but what the hell happened?"

"Sorry?" Carol eyed her in confusion.

"Look at him! He's hot as hell, you can't tell me You Know Who charmed you off this one's arm?"

"He's an asshole is what he is," Lori butted in bluntly.

"Oh?" Andrea paused and looked at the two friends in turn, sensing a distinct change in atmosphere. "Why's that?"

"He's just over there, he'll hear you!" Carol hushed her.

"He's got a nerve being here at all," Lori growled, eyeing him with disgust.

"Will someone tell me what's going on?" Andrea huffed in exasperation.

The silence was deafening and Carol decided for the sake of her own sanity and the prospect of being left alone, to divulge only what she needed to get them off her back. She could fill Andrea in on the basics and pray that Lori would be satisfied with her delivery enough to let it lie.

"We were friends, that's all. Then he moved away and I haven't seen him since."

Andrea looked puzzled. "Right, I don't see how that makes him an asshole though."

"Oh please, he broke your heart," Lori stared at her, annoyed that she was letting him off so lightly. "You were more than just friends and he ran out on you!"

"He didn't have a choice," Carol said quietly.

"He had every choice, and he chose to run away." Lori frowned.

"You're kidding? God what an asshole," Andrea scowled, turning her attention to Carol. "How come you never told me any of this?"

"I never told you because it's all in the past. I've moved on and forgot about it, just like you two should," she bit back irritably, trying to steady her voice against the lump rising in her throat. "We're not silly kids anymore."

"I just wanna know what he's doing here." Lori glared in his direction.

"His father just passed, he's in town sorting his affairs," Carol said quietly, feeling like she was trying to swim against a strong current.

"Yeah likely story," Lori snorted, taking another swig from her glass. "I just hope he doesn't think he can come back and pick up where he left off."

Carol kept her eyes fixed on the mottled wood of the table, trying to ignore the stinging in them. She'd done so well to keep it together up until now, but this was beginning to feel like an interrogation and she got the impression she was under attack. It was like a character assassination of herself, and she somehow felt like she was to blame for things that had happened outwith her control. The onslaught was relentless; she knew all the things Daryl had done but Lori kept dragging it up and whether she realised it or not, each word was hurting her. Her vision was starting to blur.

"Oh honey no, don't cry." Andrea slid an arm around her shoulder.

"I'm fine," Carol mumbled, wiping tears that hadn't fully fallen yet and pushing her away gently. "I just don't want to talk about this right now, okay?"

This was exactly what she'd wanted to avoid. She had enough on her mind without having to answer uncomfortable questions and feel like she had to defend a man she barely knew anymore. Despite what he'd done she still felt her hackles go up at the shots they were firing in his direction. Being married to Ed she'd developed habits, and even when he made her feel like shit, she would defend him, even to herself. It became like second nature to her, but here she was again doing it for Daryl. She wished they would just shut up and forget the entire thing. The last thing she wanted was a big scene, which by some impossible means she was convinced would get back to Ed. The less said about her past life with Daryl, the better as far as she was concerned. She wiped her face and took a deep breath to regain her composure.

"Look we can talk about it some other time," Andrea said, looking to Lori for reassurance.

"I didn't mean to upset you," Lori sighed. "I just wanna look out for you. I don't want him stirring anything up."

"I don't think he would come back after all this time just to cause trouble," Andrea replied, trying to diffuse the situation.

Carol lifted her gaze from her hands on the table to find his blue eyes trained on her, looking at her like they were the only two people in the world. When he realised she'd rumbled him his eyes darted away awkwardly. She felt her heart give an extra beat.

"All I'm saying is I hope he's not back here making some half assed attempt to get back into your life," Lori stated. "I'm not trying to upset you, I just think you should be careful not to let him under your skin. That's all."

"He wouldn't come looking for me. Not after…" Carol stopped herself.

"After?" Andrea probed.

"After all this time."

Carol second guessed her own logic, not knowing what to think. Maybe he had come back looking for her? Or maybe it was just her making assumptions; but Daryl hated crowds of people, he especially hated having to stand on ceremony and hold conversations, so why would he come to a perfect stranger's house and do just that? Just looking at him now reminded her of when she'd first met him, all huddled into himself and trying to avoid interacting with anyone. It got to her a little, knowing that despite the passing of years, he was still a vulnerable, lost boy. She wondered what things he had gone through, how much more he'd had to endure and what effect it'd had on him. Despite their history, she felt a pang of sympathy for him. She sensed Andrea's eyes on her and glanced at her briefly.

"You were more than just friends, weren't you?"

"We were just a couple of kids, that's all," Carol sighed, pushing to sound convincing. "It was nothing special."

Carol looked up, her eyes washing over him again. She knew she was only trying to convince herself because it hurt less if it was the truth. But with him standing just a few feet away, living and breathing in front of her, she was powerless to keep the past shut out. They had been _something_… once.

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

She was drifting lazily when a dull rapping on her window startled her awake. For an incoherent moment she was convinced she had imagined it in the haziness of early sleep. The rapping resumed and she sat up. She was almost too afraid to go investigate before scolding herself for being silly. She shook it off and padded over to the window, cautiously drawing the curtain. _Daryl. _She shoved the window up quickly and found him huddled like a dog in the torrential downpour, rivers running down his face.

"Are you out of your mind?! What are you doing out there? Come in before you catch pneumonia," she scolded, taking his hand as he climbed in the window. Carol shut and locked it and drew her curtain.

He was sodden right to the skin, but she saw that was the least of her worries. He had an angry looking cut below his right eye and he was guarding his right side. Claret seeped down his cheek, bleeding into the rainwater.

"Oh god Daryl. Not again," she croaked, feeling tears boiling behind her eyes.  
"Thought the bastard was gonna do me for real this time," he said quietly.  
"Here, give me your jacket, you're soaking."

Daryl obliged and gingerly eased out of his waterlogged jacket. His teeth chattered and his body trembled helplessly as he tried to fight the cold gripping him.

"Take off your shirt," she said, reaching for his buttons.  
He quickly grabbed her hand, pulling it away. "No, it's fine just... Just leave it."  
"Daryl don't be stupid, you're freezing," she insisted, wrenching free of his grip.  
"Really," he pleaded, gripping her hand again. "It's no big deal."

Carol studied his wet, sore face and his eyes which refused to meet hers. He looked afraid, but something else there made her heart ache; he looked ashamed. "Daryl..."

He released a defeated breath and loosened his grip. Her fingers worked quickly all the way down to the last button, pausing to study his reaction before her next move. His eyes were locked on the floor, rendering her momentarily invisible, as if by pretending she wasn't there he could avoid this humiliation.

She slipped her hands under the soaking material, peeling it away from his cold, damp skin. He flinched slightly as her fingers grazed the tops of his shoulders. She paused for a second just to make sure he would allow her to proceed. Carefully she pushed the shirt off his shoulders and helped him out of it a sleeve at a time. The lamplight in her room did nothing to hide his battered ribs, and when she moved behind him to free his other arm she froze in horror at his back.

"Oh Jesus," she gasped, a sob escaping her.

His back was ruined. Several long, recently healed slashes were carved into his pale skin, most likely from a belt judging by the smaller wounds at the end of each angry line.

"When did this happen?" She demanded angrily, struggling to keep her composure.  
"Doesn't even hurt," he said, his voice barely audible above the rain.  
"When?!"  
Daryl swallowed hard and shivered as she gently examined the raw lines. "Couple weeks back."  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
"What could ya have done?" Daryl sighed. "He aint like your folks, he's dangerous. I ain't havin' ya gettin' involved with him, if he hurt ya..."  
"He already has Daryl. Look at you. What can he do to me that's worse than seeing you like this?"  
"Don't cry Carol, seriously I'm okay. I'll survive."  
"For how long?!" she snapped. "You can't go back there."  
"Not like I ain't used to it."  
"You shouldn't have to be used to it Daryl," she said, fetching a towel from her closet.

Carol helped him get dried, taking care around the wounds sliced into his back. Every time she looked at them was like a knife twisting into her gut and she struggled not to break down. He hadn't wanted to take off his pants but they were also saturated and he just didn't have the energy to fight her. When he was dry and she'd hung his clothes on the radiator, she ordered him into bed and he obeyed. She turned out the light and slid in beside him, almost gasping at the contact of his icy body under the covers. His predicament seemed to worsen under the warmth; his body was shaking uncontrollably now and she knew she had to heat him up. She slipped her nightdress over her head and tossed it on the floor.

"Come here," she beckoned, sliding her arm under his neck.  
"Wh-what ya d-doin'?" he chattered, his eyes widened in panic.  
"Just come here," she insisted. "We have to get you warm." She drew his freezing body into her arms and grit her teeth through the shock of the initial contact.

Carol wrapped her arms around him and he snuggled in gladly. She fought the urge to jump out of bed away from the icy body next to her and wound her legs around his. She rubbed her legs against him, trying to generate some warmth.

Ten minutes passed without a word and Daryl's trembling seemed to ease up. He huddled into her warm chest, feeling safe at last. Her hand gently weaved through his damp hair as she held him close. The slow rubbing motion of her legs had warmed his cold limbs, yet despite the threat of pneumonia being gone he couldn't move. Not even if he wanted to. She had to have felt him stiffen against her soft body; he'd tried to fight it but their intimate proximity had overridden his self control. Now all he could do was lay still and hope she fell asleep without noticing.

She continued to stroke his hair and buried her nose in the damp mess, breathing him in. Her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest, and it must have been rattling his head as he lay there. She had tried to push the feelings she was having to the back of her mind, but laying in the dark with him listening to the rain battering off the window was stirring all sorts of feelings inside her. His body was warm now and between the two of them her bed had became dreamily hot. She could have lay like this forever, with his head resting on her chest and her legs tangled with his. She felt an overwhelming urge to protect him and destroy anyone who dared lay a finger on him, and in that moment it became clear in her mind what she had been feeling for months. She loved him.

She stirred ever so gently against him, so slightly that it could be mistaken for an accident if he chose to. When he didn't flinch she became bolder and deliberately grazed against him. She heard his breath catch and as opposed to reeling back like she expected, he didn't move. Her heart began to flutter nervously as his erection pressed helplessly at her thigh and his warm breaths prickled her chest in goosebumps. Daring to see how far she could push it, she kissed his head gently and ground closer to him, signalling that she was willing if he was. His arm which had been clenched around her in the desperation of his trembling came to life and his fingertips tickled her side. Her own free hand skimmed over his scrawny bicep, her fingertips barely kissing his skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. She edged closer, her fingers climbing to caress his face.

Daryl took the hint and buried his face between her small breasts, breathing in her perfume between nervous breaths as her hips ground against him, making him ache. His mouth grazed her skin, filling her with torturous desperation as his breaths tickled her. He placed a hot, wet kiss on her skin, his tongue flicking out to taste her. Carol gasped softly at the contact that made her skin sizzle, as he shifted and left a soft trail of kisses up to her throat and chin before finally, his mouth claimed hers. She moaned sweetly as his tongue invaded her mouth, his lips crushing hers urgently. Her hands found his face, fingers winding into his damp locks as positioned himself over her. She could only barely see his eyes, dark and alive, and she knew he had to feel the same burning that she was feeling. His nose gently brushed hers as he leaned down to kiss her again, softer this time. His hands caressed her soft skin, his fingers gently peeling the thin straps over her shoulders as they became lost to the world.

The driving rain battered off the window panes as a long rumble of thunder awakened in the sky, deafening the world to sweet breaths and whispers in the darkness.

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

He was sitting at the table with Sophia perched next to him, looking badgered to death but putting up with it all the same. She was utterly fascinated, staring at him eagerly and hanging on his every grunt. Carol's initial reaction was alarm; she figured he wouldn't be very forthcoming with information to Sophia, but there was always paranoia, burrowing and itching away at her. She was uncomfortable with Sophia getting too close to him. She was still in a surreal limbo where the line between reality and make believe was blurred, trying to process the day and accept his presence. Sophia had enough drama in her life without getting attached to someone who couldn't be a part of her life. A small part of her wanted him to know Sophia, to appreciate her and all the funny things she said and did the way she knew Ed never would. Like everything that threatened to give her reason to hope, she quickly locked it away in the darkness where it couldn't get her into any trouble.

He looked a little relieved when he saw Carol heading his way. She smiled a little inwardly, she knew Sophia could be very intense. She had no reservations about grilling perfect strangers on their life story, and Daryl looked completely dazed like he'd just been interrogated.

"There you are, I've been looking for you," Carol painted on a smile for Sophia, turning her attention to Daryl. "I'm sorry, I hope she wasn't bothering you."

"Nah, s'all good, we were just shootin' the breeze," he said, flicking the hair out of his eyes.

"Sophia honey why don't you go on inside and wait for me, I'll be there in a sec." Carol smiled and brushed strands of sandy blonde hair behind Sophia's ear.

"Okay mama," she hopped up obediently, turning to say goodbye. "It was nice meeting you Daryl."

"Hey you too kid," he grinned. "See ya 'round."

Sophia grinned at him and skipped across the lawn and into the house. Carol filled the space she had left beside him, setting her light sweater between them, her eyes following Sophia as she disappeared inside. He had made quite an impression by the looks of things.

"She's a great kid." He disturbed the quiet. "Damn near talked my ear off."

"Oh yeah, she's a chatterbox my Sophia," Carol laughed softly.

"Yeah, kinda reminds me of someone."

Carol met his eyes eventually; she could feel them on her and couldn't resist the compulsion to look around. His hair glowed as the last of the sun's rays shimmered through it, golden flyaway hairs dancing in the evening breeze. He was attractive when he was younger, but time had been sweet to him and made him ridiculously handsome. His eyes had always turned her insides to mush, and it took all her self control not to wilt in front of him. She had to steel herself against his charm, and it was proving difficult in the light of the setting sun that made him look like an angel.

"I'm surprised you remember," she said softly, looking at the ground.

"Remember? Pfft. How could I forget?"

"Hmm," she snorted, "pretty easily if I remember right."

"Carol, I-"

"Why are you here Daryl?" She cut him off, meeting him with an insistent glare.

Confusion and hurt flashed across his features. "I already told ya, my old man died." He screwed his face up in bewilderment. "What the hell is this?"

"I don't know Daryl, you tell me. Because I am having a hard time figuring this out. You didn't need to come back here for your father's benefit."

He looked away from her, his eyes clouding over as if the truth of the matter was too painful a subject to broach. Her pulse was starting to pick up in anticipation of his answer. She needed him to deny it, tell her that she had nothing to do with him coming back, to totally eliminate it from her mind. But a part of her that had been lying dormant forever cried out, wishing and hoping that it was for her, that she meant something still after so long. That she was wanted by _someone_. She had to be strong and fight it.

"You can't just come crashing back into town and expect things to be the way they were Daryl. You left."

"I ain't expectin' nothin'," he grunted, turning to face her with a stony expression. "I left 'cause I had no choice."

"You had a choice, and you chose to leave. I just hope this isn't some attempt to come back and try to build bridges. I've moved on with my life Daryl, the last thing I need is you messing with my head by digging up the past."

"I didn't choose nothin', I did what he told me." He glared at her. "I followed him and Merle around and did whatever they said we had to do, I took so much shit ya wouldn't believe. I looked after him when he got sick and Merle fucked off without a trace. I fuckin' buried him and stood at his funeral alone. I didn't come back to mess up nobody's life. I came back 'cause I got nowhere else to go."

Carol felt a stab of guilt in her throat. She had been too quick to jump on Lori and Andrea's bandwagon and now felt very foolish and ashamed of herself. His eyes were locked on the ground now, brooding and dark as he tried to shut it all out. She couldn't imagine the things he'd had to do or suffer. In the man's body next to her she could see the shadow of the boy she once knew, battered and broken. She felt awful, but her common sense deserted her as she tried to decide on the right response.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that alone… but I know how you feel." Carol spoke quietly.

"No you don't," he scoffed. "Your folks were decent people. You lost somethin'. When my old man died I didn't feel nothin'. What does that say 'bout me?"

"You shouldn't feel bad Daryl. He wasn't an easy man to live with, you did your best for him," she said, trying to lift the weight a little off his shoulders.

"Yeah, what would you know?" he bit back, his self loathing boiling over at her.

Carol studied his eyes, reading the hurt and anger and knowing intuitively none of this was aimed at her. He was just lashing out like he'd always done when he blamed himself or got upset. She wanted to tell him she knew exactly how he felt, because she felt it every day. The words formed on her tongue and she swallowed them at the last minute, knowing that her burden was hers to bear alone, and that dumping it on him was the worst thing she could do.

"I know enough." She held his glare sadly for a moment, finally pulling her eyes from his and standing up, giving him a quick final look before turning her back on him as she started to walk inside. "Goodnight Daryl."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Chapter 10 already! Wow that went quickly. Can I panic about falling behind yet? Yes I think now would be a good time, kay? Excuse me *screams into pillow* Right, now where was I? Oh yeah, how did you all like Chapter 9? Any FEELINGS happening there, eh, EH?! Okay I'll stahp. **

**If you're on Nine Lives you'll notice I've posted the story over there too, if not go check it out (more for the site than the story, the site is AWESOME!) Thank you once again for all follows, favs, reviews and anyone who's reading along. The response since joining Nine Lives has just blown my mind so thank you! And a mahoosive thank you to Peta2 for suggesting it! **

**Anyway, enough of my drivel. I'm babbling because I'm hyper. ALL. YOUR. FAULT. Have a chapter. (It's early because I won't have time tomorrow and it's cruel to make you wait til Saturday... or is it?) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own nothin'. TWD and its characters belong to Kirkman and that... **

Chapter 10

A bright orange haze filled her closed eyes as sunlight crept into her room. Peering through narrow slits she squinted at the offending light and buried her face in the pillow. It smelt of him. Suddenly she remembered last night - every breathy sigh and torturously sweet caress still burning her alive inside. It had been awkward at times and clumsy, but she sighed dreamily at the memory. It had been perfect, blissful. Afterwards he had drawn her into his arms and held her closely as they both fell asleep content. She could have died happily there and then because no feeling on earth could ever extinguish what they had shared. Carol wondered if he was awake yet. She smiled at the thought of seeing his hair all messed up and his sleepy eyes shyly smiling back at her.

She scooted round under the sheets to cuddle up to him. Her heart sank as his side of the bed greeted her rumpled and cold. As she ran her hand over the wrinkled sheet she realised he'd been gone a while. There wasn't a trace of his warmth left. An emptiness bloomed in her gut as it began to sink in. How could he have left without saying good bye, let alone good morning? Part of her wondered if she had imagined the whole thing but her state of undress and the raw ache inside told her she most certainly had not. His clothes were gone, the towel that she'd dried him with still lay where it had fallen and her window was ajar. Her curtain billowed in the morning breeze.

Carol reached for her robe from her wicker chair by the bed, a shiver running over her as she padded over to the window and closed it. As she looked out into the morning sunshine she decided that rather than lay in bed all day feeling sorry for herself, she would tackle the issue head on and go find Daryl. She ran the shower and picked out clothes for the day. Stepping into the steam she let out a heavy sigh and began to scrub away the tension, planning out what she was going to say to him. Her auburn curls snaked down her back in the warm river of water and lather as she ran through everything in her head. She wasn't going to let him brush her off. She wanted answers.

When she was dressed she ventured downstairs to find the house silent, no usual Saturday morning chatter from her parents filtering out of the kitchen. She hung round the doorway and found it empty. Carol supposed they had gone shopping and made her way towards the front door. She decided to skip breakfast; her stomach was in knots and she didn't really feel like eating.

It promised to be a gorgeous, warm day as she stepped out into the morning air and closed the door behind her. It did a little to ease the tension in her stomach, it was hard to be totally pissed off on a morning as beautiful as this, and of course she did still have that warm ache inside her as a reminder of the night before. Despite his disappearing act this morning, and the fact she was mad as a bag of hornets, she couldn't shut the experience out. It played on a loop in her mind; everything about it had been amazing. Everything she felt for Daryl had just been cemented, the stirrings in her heart bursting, blowing up more than she had ever thought possible. It had left her aching yet hungry for more, and as she functioned on autopilot fetching her bike from the side of the house, she was already thinking about the next time. After she had given him a piece of her mind of course.

Carol pedalled out on to the street and enjoyed the warm breeze that lifted her curls off her shoulders. It was only gone eleven but already the humidity was brewing and she could see there being another thunderstorm tonight. Last night's had been fierce, but she was glad of the cover. The fireworks exploding inside her were not something she had wanted her parents to overhear. They knew she and Daryl were together and they liked him well enough, although she suspected they thought it was nothing serious, a teenage crush that would fizzle out before too long. If her father had known what they'd been doing last night under his roof she doubted she'd ever be allowed out of the house again let alone to see him.

She had never been to Daryl's house - at his request - but she knew where she was going. She had passed it a few times on her way to school after deliberately taking a detour so she could try to sneak a glimpse of where he lived. Carol knew very little about his family other than his dad had problems with drinking. She knew Merle a little - she'd seen him around and tried to avoid him. He scared her and the few times she'd held his stare she was convinced she saw a glint in his eye that said he knew it. He was bigger than Daryl, and he made her uneasy. He had eyes that looked as if he was laughing behind them, but behind the laughter there was nothing cheerful or kind. Not like when she looked into Daryl's eyes and found warmth and shyness.

His requests for her not to come to his house were about to fall on deaf ears. As she pedalled into his street and his house came into view, she could see Merle's motorbike glinting in the sun and a scatter of tools and oily rags around it. The smell of engine oil filled her nose and suddenly she felt her stomach curl into a tight ball and wondered if this was such a good idea after all. Yes she was mad, but was she that mad she wanted to come and make a scene at his house in front of his brother and father, both of whom she knew were not exactly members of the neighbourhood welcoming committee? She pumped at the brakes on her handlebars and kicked a leg to the ground as she took a moment to think. If she did this there was no way she could take it back, or what would happen to Daryl as a result. She'd been so stupid not to think about this properly and all of a sudden felt foolish.

She decided to head back and forget the whole thing; she would see Daryl eventually, and as mad as she had been at him she knew he must have had a reason for leaving. It was all in her head. She'd came so close to doing something ridiculous and scolded herself as she turned her bike around to head home.

"Lookin' for somethin' lil mouse?"

Carol froze as the voice washed over her like stagnant water. She had been so lost in her own thoughts that she hadn't noticed the elder Dixon brother watching her from inside the dismantled old truck parked in the yard. She hadn't seen him as he got up and leaned on the open door, studying her, looking her up and down like a piece of meat. She'd almost got away with it, but her stomach filled with lead at the sound of his voice.

"I was looking for Daryl." Carol turned around gingerly, trying to hide the wobble in her voice.

"Won't find 'im here sweetness," he drawled, taking a swig from his beer bottle. "He's out with the old man."

"Do you know when he'll be back?" Carol felt like she was begging for information.

"Your guess is as good as mine, they been gone since sun up."

Carol felt like a deer in a clearing, with nowhere to hide from his leering eyes. She felt very foolish indeed now, and got the feeling he wasn't likely to part with any further details for his own amusement at watching her squirm. Words deserted her as she tried to think of things to ask him. This had been a total waste of time and she wanted nothing more than to just go home and forget about it.

"Cat got your tongue lil mouse?"

"I- can you tell him Carol was looking for him?"

"Whoa hold up there curly, do I look like an errand boy?"

Carol felt humiliation creep into her cheeks. "It doesn't matter, I-"

"Might help if I knew what ya wanted him for," he cut her off, pursing his lips in amusement.

"Never mind, I'll see him myself." Carol huffed, knowing he was enjoying every second of her discomfort and the power he thought he had over her.

"You don't like me much do ya?"

"I've never said that," she objected.

"Didn't say it but it's true ain't it?"

"I don't have a problem with you Merle. I barely know you."

"I've seen the looks you give me, like I'm shit on the sole of your shoe." His tone made her look at the ground, filling her with unease. "I think you're wastin' your time with the wrong Dixon honey. My baby brother, he's sweet and all, but he's just a boy. How about ya try a real man on for size."

The look in his eyes told her he was actually serious and her skin crawled at his proposition. She could see that behind those laughing eyes there were no morals or regard for his brother's feelings or hers. Immense willpower stopped her doubling over and vomiting at the thought and she swallowed the feeling with defiance.

"No, I think I've got the right Dixon brother. He's everything you're not, and that's why I'm with him."

"Aww you done broke my heart sweetness," Merle feigned sadness, clutching his chest.

"We coulda had somethin' good."

"I already have something better." She shot back.

Feeling satisfied at her boldness and her declaration of loyalty to Daryl, she started to wheel away from the house when his voice called after her.

"Well I hate to piss in your cornflakes mouse, but you ain't gettin him neither."

Carol stopped and whipped her head around in a flash of wild auburn. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well long distance ain't really Daryl's style," he said, clearly enjoying this little game.

"Long distance? You live five minutes away from me." She screwed her eyes up against the sun and the confusion.

Merle finished his bottle and threw it in the hedges, sauntering towards her. "Tonight maybe, and tomorrow… but after that who knows?"

"What are you saying?" Carol tried to hide the alarm in her voice.

"Oh jeez this is awkward. I thought Daryl would've told ya."

"Told me what?"

"Bout the move. We leave in the next few days." He scanned her face and fed off the flash of hurt he found there. "Aww, he didn't tell ya?"

The words hung in the air and she tried to process them but they stuck like square pegs in round holes. Daryl leaving? Why would Merle be so cruel? She got it; he liked humiliating her and thinking he had a hold over her, but this? This was a cruel lie to concoct even for Merle Dixon.

"Moving?" The word tasted bitter on her lips. "No, you're lying. Why would you be so horrible? You're jealous."

"Honey as excitin' as your life is, mine don't revolve around it and neither does my baby brother's."

"You're a liar. He tells me everything, he wouldn't keep something like that from me."

"You're just another piece of ass to him darlin', you think he loves you?" He snorted a laugh. "Ya don't mean a damn thing to him sweetie."

"I don't have to listen to this crap, I'm going," Carol sniped, her throat closing up.

"Yeah you keep on tellin' yourself that sweetheart. But ask yourself this - why did he skedaddle so quick this mornin'?"

The statement hit her like a sledgehammer to the gut. She spun around to meet his hard unfeeling eyes and in that moment she hated him. Hot tears choked her and rendered her completely mute. All she could think of to do was hammer her pedals as hard as she could and get away from him. The wind ripped tears from her eyes as she sped away from him. _Get home, just get home. _Everything blurred before her as she rode, fighting for control of her feelings. This wasn't happening. It was a bad dream, and any minute she would wake up in her own bed, safe in the knowledge everything was as it should be. Except this was real. The tears blinding her were real, her hands gripping the handlebars, white at the knuckles, were real. A swell of hurt and anger swirled inside her. Too many things were wrong to know what to deal with first, and she couldn't decide what upset her more; Daryl leaving, the fact he hadn't so much as mentioned it, or worse yet, telling Merle about their night together.

As she reached her front garden her bike crashed on the lawn along with her life and she ran into the house.

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

The darkness spiralled in her vision as she lay staring at the ceiling, shapes coming to life that twisted and danced in the black. Carol had been trying to sleep for hours, and despite the telltale nip of tiredness in her eyes her mind wouldn't shut down. It had been a hard day. Sophia falling and scaring her half to death. The sickness in her stomach as she tried to work out how she would cover it up. Seeing old friends again and the fact they had to leave again. Coming face to face with her past, wounds ripping open that she thought had healed over long ago. She hadn't seen that coming, and it had wiped her out. She felt drained, but at the same time her brain wouldn't shut up and the more she tried to put Daryl Dixon out of her mind, the more vividly she saw his face in the dark. Thoughts whirled out of control in her head, none of them making the slightest bit of sense to her. She wasn't even sure if today had happened at all. It all felt like one big hallucination.

She flipped restlessly onto her side, sliding her hand into the coolness under the pillow and tucked her knees up to her chest. Her plan to savour the quiet and the freedom before Ed got home tomorrow was ticking away faster and faster as her brain buzzed. She couldn't shake Daryl from her thoughts. She could hear his voice, gravel toned and smooth at the same time, caressing her ears. His blue eyes were imprinted in her mind, radiating so much warmth she had to throw the covers off. She could feel her throat closing up, a hard lump swelling painfully. Then she was angry. He had no right coming back here after all this time, reawakening parts of her that had gone to sleep a long time ago. She'd done her best over the years to block it out, all of it, and now here he was digging it all up whether he meant to or not. Hot tears pricked her eyes like needles. This changed everything. Her life, however bad it seemed at the moment, she could deal with. It was predictable most of the time; she knew what to expect from it and that made it almost safe. This was a curveball she didn't need. Tears spilled over and soaked into her pillow.

When sleep finally came for her, she could still see his face and hear his voice. Dreams that she couldn't escape from would surround her until morning. Every one of them felt real and when she would stir from them they left her feeling hollow. The warm feelings that curled up inside her left a residue as they slipped out of her and reality sunk back in. She hadn't had dreams like this since she was seventeen years old. They continued into the early hours and by dawn she was fully awake again, listening to the birds begin their chorus outside. It was four am and her eyes still stung from not nearly enough sleep. She lay for a while, resuming her study of the ceiling and her brain began to whirr into life again, picking up where it had left off last night. She could feel herself getting upset again and decided to get up. If she lay in bed there was every chance she would cry because it just seemed like the only thing to do. Keeping busy meant keeping safe - Ed would be home around noon and she didn't want to take any chances of him seeing that she'd been crying .

The morning was a monotonous blur of tidying, and re-tidying just to give her something to do. As the minutes sped agonisingly away from her she could feel the bile churning in her stomach. It felt like every time she looked at the clock someone had moved the hands forward another hour. As quickly as the pressure had lifted when he'd left, it descended again and spread throughout the house like a toxic cloud. She felt like a net was closing in around her. He would be on his way now and before she knew it he would come barrelling through the door to shatter the peace. The thought made her want to throw up, and before noon arrived she did so several times. She was glad that Sophia had gone over to Lori's and didn't have to see her like this.

When she eventually heard the rumble of the car pulling in outside her breath left her lungs and she had to grip the kitchen counter to steady the wobble in her legs. She could hear the clatter of the driver's door as he closed it forcefully, heralding his return. It sounded like he was rummaging in the trunk for something and then she heard footsteps on the stairs outside and the click of the door as he trudged into the hallway. He was laden down with bags, his cheeks glowing pink with effort as he hauled them over the threshold. He spied Carol in the kitchen and shot her an incredulous look.

"Well don't just stand there," he barked.

Carol rushed to help him with the bags. "Sorry, how was your trip?"

"It was a damn washout, that's how it was." He made his way into the living room and sank into his chair. "Get me a beer would ya."

Carol went to the fridge, her eyes running over him as he clicked the tv set on and turned up the volume to the football that was on. This was him settling in for the day, and she had nowhere to go. The warden was well and truly back in the prison, normal programming resumed. He didn't look up as she handed him his beer. The tears welling in her eyes went unnoticed, and she was glad.

She endured, surviving the day and the night, and as he snored beside her in bed, she found her thoughts drifting again to piercing blue eyes glinting through wisps of dark hair.

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

The next day Ed had off work, and after she'd dropped Sophia at school she went to the store. He was out of beer and she latched on to the excuse just to get away from him.

Despite the relief she felt to be out of the house, she could still feel him, hanging over her head like a dark cloud. He was always there, controlling, pulling her strings like a marionette, making sure she danced to his tune. He never ever came shopping, preferring instead to slump in his armchair, eyes fixed on the television, swigging from his can and snorting a laugh occasionally at whatever he was watching. He only moved his lips to mutter abuse or some put down or reprimand at her. It was the most exercise the asshole ever got. She was glad when she could leave the confines of the prison and finally breathe. He had only been home a day and already she needed to get out. She hadn't hung around waiting for him to speak, just hurried out of the door and let it swing shut behind her.

The humidity outside hit her like a wall as she stepped out and got into the car. It was going to be another unbearably hot day. As she backed out of the driveway and pulled out of the street she sighed and leaned an arm on the window. Her mood hadn't picked up any today. Since the party the heat had been getting steadily more intense, and it was making her increasingly irritable. The turmoil in her head was suffocating her. She still felt on edge about Sophia's knee and it had been touch and go trying to keep Ed from finding out. Since he'd got back she'd had it burning a hole in her mind and she didn't know how much longer she could hold out, terrified he was going to find out. Then there was Daryl. Thoughts that had been running on a loop through her mind, but now it was all just a rabble of confusion making her dizzy. She felt conflicted, arguing with herself, one side defending him and welcoming him back with open arms, the other pissed off that he was even here at all and terrified of what Ed would do if he got wind of it. As she drove the thoughts hurtled around her head with hurricane force, never yielding any answers, only getting louder until they blared in her ears like static.

She eventually pulled into the parking lot and escaped from the car which was like an oven now. Grocery shopping should have been like a holiday for her. Ed never went with her but he still held the reins, giving her specific instructions on what to buy and how much she was allowed to spend out of the cash he gave her. God forgive her if she ever went so much as a cent over budget. He always wanted to see receipts and had his hand outstretched, waiting for his change. There was no way she could even sneak treats for Sophia or herself - he saw everything. Carol pushed her cart around, following Ed's instructions to the letter, everything that she had to get memorised from years of practice. She picked up items and almost robotically placed them in the cart, knowing them by heart because they were always the same. Shopping was a lot like her life. Ed called the shots, controlling, supervising, inspecting. It was like being on trial for a crime, and it didn't matter if she was guilty or not, he always found a way to convict her.

She bumped into an old acquaintance from school and nodded and hummed her way through the insincere smalltalk. She really wasn't in any mood for faking interest in what Miss Perfect Prom Queen Amanda McKinley had been up to since school, especially considering they'd barely spoken back then . Carol put on her best pretend smile and grit her teeth through boob jobs and divorces until she finally left her alone. Truthfully she was quite glad of any distraction to keep her out longer, even if she'd had to tune out of the chit chat. Anything was better than what was waiting for her at home.

All too soon though, it was time to go back, and she didn't think she had ever felt so lost.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Well you lovely bunch just continue to make my year! Thank you for all the lovely reviews. I'm sorry for all the angst you've had to wade through up til now, and unfortunately (unless you're like me and love a good dollop of angst in your cornflakes...) the shit is about to hit the fan. The latter part of this chapter was one of the first scenes I wrote when I started writing this story. It's a bit of a turning point in the road, and while I can't promise the angst is truly over, those clouds might just be about to break. I do have to point out, this chapter contains some pretty horrible imagery, so just use your own discretion. **

**Warning: This chapter does contain scenes of abuse.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of TWD characters, I just pull their strings and make 'em dance ;) **

Chapter 11

Hell knew why he hadn't called after her. He'd tried to convince himself it was because she was already out of earshot and wouldn't have heard him anyway, but he knew that was just bullshit. Their conversation had exposed nerves, left him feeling empty and pretty pissed, and then she'd left and all he had was her damn sweater. He didn't know why he'd kept it - he should have given it to Lori to pass on, but instead he'd stuffed it in his jacket. He felt like a prize dork now. It wasn't her fault he was such a loser, blowing around on the wind like a tumbleweed with nowhere to go. He'd been angry at himself for not having the balls to tell his daddy and Merle where they could shove it and the memory had raged over like boiling water at her. Now all he could hear was his own voice clanging in his head, barking at her like some jackass. Part of the reason he'd flew off the handle at her was she was right - she was always right. Even though he didn't have anywhere to go, nobody to care if he got up in the morning, he'd came back because this felt like home. It felt like home because she was here, but coming back to a glacial reception cut him to the bone, and he'd lashed out like a wounded animal. Then there was the realisation of what he'd supposed anyway, that she was married and even had a kid. He knew he was being pathetic, but it still hurt, knowing she'd moved on and left him behind… had a life now that didn't include him.

He had no right to be jealous of a guy he'd never even met, but Daryl couldn't stop the green eyed monster stirring. Now as he pulled over outside the house he'd seen her and the kid go into after the party, his heart picked up a little. What was he doing? He wasn't doing a great job of rubbishing her claims right now, showing up at her door with a fucking sweater he could've just given to Lori who lived second's walk away. Daryl stared at the garment in his hands, slight wisps of her scent reaching his nose and resisted the urge to bury his face in it. He had come too far now to turn back, and he couldn't deny that he wanted to see her again. Even if she gave him hell for showing up at her door. There was also the possibility of checking out the husband. He wondered what kinda guy had stepped in to fill his shoes after he'd left. It was a nice house, Daryl figured the dude must do alright for himself. He probably had a Merc in the garage. His eyes wandered around the interior of his battered old Dodge, frowning at the patches of duct tape holding the seats together. He had lost his goddamn mind.

He threw the sweater on the seat and huffed out a growl as he went to start the engine. As he leaned forward he heard a door open and his eyes whipped around. The monster was well and truly awake now, his hands gripping the wheel and a growl poised and ready in his throat. Daryl knew right away this guy was a dick. His people skills might not have been great but he was never wrong on first impressions. The guy had the kinda face that had always deserved a pounding but always escaped. He reminded Daryl of the guys his daddy and Merle always got them mixed up with. Tall, lumbering, face like some cartoon villain. Everything about him as he stood in the doorway, drawing on his smoke and eyeing the pickup curiously, made Daryl want to beat his ass into the ground. He didn't bother starting the engine.

"You lookin' for somethin'?" Ed's voice boomed over at him as he shut the driver door forcefully.

"Yeah, m'lookin' for Carol, she home?" Daryl made his way up the path.

"Who's askin'?"

"Uh, Daryl… Dixon." Daryl forced his hand out and felt his blood boil when Ed just stared at it and then back at him. He definitely hated this guy.

Ed looked him up and down, the cogs in his mind creaking as he studied Daryl and took another long thoughtful puff at his cigarette. "What you want with Carol?"

Daryl fought the urge to kick this prick's teeth in. "It was just to return this, she left it at Lori's the other night." He peered around Ed to try and get a look inside the house.

Ed looked at the sweater, his face void of any emotion and then at Daryl again. "Lori's?"

"Yeah," Daryl grunted, getting a little tired of this guy's conversation skills already. "She left it at the party so I picked it up."

Ed glared at the black garment as Daryl handed it over. He thought he recognised that look. The way Ed gripped the flimsy material between his rough hands made him feel sick and got his hackles up. The air was charged with electricity and Daryl knew he had to leave right now or shit was gonna go down. He didn't like the vibe he was getting from this guy and the thought of Carol ending up in trouble because of him was the only thing that held enough weight to pull him away.

"Anyways I better go, I just came to give it back," Daryl turned on his heel, his blood rushing in his ears, barely holding it together.

"Oh don't worry," Ed called after him darkly. "I'll see that she gets it."

Daryl turned to meet Ed's piggy eyes glowering at him, not quite masking the intent behind them. He glared back, and somehow he knew this wasn't over. As he stormed back to the truck he was sure he could feel his father's eyes following him.

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

Carol completed her shopping trip in a trance, daydreaming, mulling over her life and wondering how the hell it had come to this. Once upon a time she'd had dreams that far exceeded shoving a shopping cart down aisles she didn't need to visit, all so she could avoid going home. She knew Ed would be mad, but she couldn't bring herself to finish up and pay for her groceries. Being rid of him for a night had given her some much needed relief, and now that he was back all her burdens seemed to weigh twice as much on her shoulders. The thought of going back filled her with panic, but she knew the longer she postponed the inevitable, the worse it would be. The checkout girl smiled at her and the best she could manage was a twitch. Somehow people being nice made it harder. How could people be so different? Someone she didn't know, smiling sweetly at her, like she was a person rather than a thing? Ed never smiled at her. They'd been married for 13 years and he never smiled at her, not the way smiles are intended, anyway. This small observation made her want to give up and crumple into a ball right there on the shop floor, but she resisted, paying for her shopping and heading out to the car.

The drive back home was a blur. Carol didn't register a single turn of the steering wheel or pump of the brakes, her brain running on autopilot. The whole way home she stared blankly ahead, not seeing anything apart from the chaos in her mind. She wasn't going to cry. She bit down on her lip until it hurt, trying to keep the tears from pooling in her eyes. It seemed to work, and she sucked in deep lungfuls of air to repel them further. Tiny pinpricks of rain dotted the windscreen as the clouds billowed in the sky like murky water ripping through a riverbed. The beautiful weather from earlier had disappeared, much like her joyful mood from Saturday when Ed had set off on his trip. She'd felt so light, for the first time in years she'd felt like herself. He took it away as quickly as she'd found it. The sky wasn't the only thing churning now.

When she got home she immediately felt uneasy. There was a distinct sense of foreboding settling in to her body - something didn't feel quite right. The atmosphere outside was eerie and still, like the calm before a thunderstorm. It made her even more apprehensive about going inside. She would much rather be outside in the thunder and torrential rain than inside and dry, with him. Carol sat in the car for a minute, trying to think of a plausible reason why she'd been gone so long. Eventually she decided not to bother. Whatever reason she gave him, he would still find a way to put the blame on her. She took a deep breath and got out of the car.

Ed was sitting at the kitchen table, reading the sports pages when she struggled through the door with the bags. He didn't even look up, and that set alarm bells ringing in her head. He usually looked through the bags, demanded his change, asked her what the hell had took her so long, but he sat at the table as if she wasn't there. She crept into the kitchen and began to put the shopping away without a word, her back to him.

"Who's Daryl?" His voice was eerily calm.

Carol froze. Her mouth gaped as the words fell like bombs and her breathing ground to a halt. She felt fear grip her as she realised there was no way out of this. She turned slowly to face him, afraid of what look she might find on his face. "I- I don't kno-"

"You don't know him? Well that's funny cause he sure as hell seemed to know you when he showed up here earlier." Ed stood up, eyeballing her and producing her sweater. Carol's face dropped as she realised it was the one she'd worn on Saturday. "Somethin' you wanna tell me?"

"I knew Daryl years ago but I haven't seen-"

"Don't lie to me!" he snarled, lobbing the garment across the room at her, making her jump. "I know you went to Lori's behind my back and now I know why. You fucking around with this prick?"

"No, I swear I wouldn't-" she mumbled, backing away slightly.

"Who the hell is he?" He towered over her now, his shadow bearing down on her, blocking her escape.

"I haven't seen him for a long time-"

"You're a lying bitch! When were you gonna mention this party to me?" A vein in his temple pulsed as he asked the question, his voice booming now.

"I- I'm sorry, I was gonna but-"

"But you didn't. You went and cosied up to that redneck fuck! Do you know how that makes me look?" He looked crazed. She could have sworn his eyes were glowing red.

"Ed you're overreacting, I -"

Before she knew what was happening, he had a fistful of her dark curls in his grubby hand and he was hauling her across the hallway. She let out a helpless yowl of pain as he began his merciless ascent of the stairs, trailing her behind him like a pig to the slaughter.

"Ed please, you're hurting me!" she squealed, trying to stay on her feet.

Her frantic pleas for mercy fell on deaf ears as he dragged her into the bathroom. She strained against him like a frightened animal, her heart accelerating, trying to pull away from his grasp. She wriggled free momentarily before feeling his fingers bore holes in the soft flesh of her arm as he grabbed her back.

"Let me go!" she screeched, trying to wrestle herself free.

Suddenly her head exploded with pressure, spinning as if she'd been hit by a freight train as he brought the back of his hand down across her face, catching her on the temple. Stars and black spots danced in the near darkness of her vision and then she was on the floor, gripped tightly between his knees, her chest crumpling under the weight as he pinned her in place. She drifted in and out of consciousness for a moment, her hearing muffled as if she was under water. She could hear a faint buzzing sound, and was unsure if it was external or coming from inside her own head. His grip on her scalp tightened, and it was then she realised what he was doing.

Mechanically he began buzzing thick tresses of auburn, taking care to leave the wad of curls he was yanking her head around with. She wailed and tried to shrink away from him as she saw long swathes of her hair fall to the bathroom floor. He roughly jerked her head as he sawed at her beautiful locks. Her temple was stinging and she imagined from the pain she was in that she was bleeding. Her heart was flying in terror, so much that she feared it might give out. She wondered how far he was going to take this ordeal; she'd had beatings before but never in her life had she been this terrified. He'd never been anywhere near this wired. Her head throbbed and stung angrily under his grip and the way he had her pinned down meant getting away was impossible. She tried to go to that happy place in her mind, telling herself it would be over soon.

The last tuft of wild hair dropped onto the tiles and the buzzing stopped. Carol squinted at the dark spirals on the floor, her eyes stinging and her soul broken. Her beautiful hair, the one thing that made her feel feminine was gone. He had taken away the last part of her that made her feel like she was worth anything. She sat on the floor, huddled over, her arms shaking as she tried to support herself. She couldn't help the flinch as he bent over her, her eyes glimmering and wide with panic avoiding him, her face still burning in agony where he'd struck her.

"You're one nasty lookin' skank, you know that?" he snarled in her ear, his breath making her skin crawl. "You should be fuckin' grateful you got me, nobody else is gonna look twice at ya now." He slung the trimmer back on the cabinet and turned to go downstairs. "Get this cleaned up."

As his heavy footsteps fell on the stairs, she scrabbled to the door and locked it. Carol slid limply to the floor and curled into a ball, wrapping her arms around herself. Her body convulsed as physically disabling sobs possessed her. She lay on the bathroom floor, her face pressed into the cold tiles as she unravelled. Her sobbing left her breathless, forcing all the air out of her lungs, completely suffocating her like a fish out of water until the next wave rescued her. She cried until she was sick and then cried some more. When there were no tears left to shed, she just lay on the floor for what felt like forever in a numb void. She had nothing left. For a long time now, she had felt dead inside anyway.

Summoning what strength she could find in her barren reserves she hauled herself to her feet and threw open the door of the medicine cabinet. She raked through the contents, bottles spilling out into the sink. She fumbled blindly, not caring what came to her hands first, so long as they got the job done. A bottle of aspirin tablets found her hand. She stared at them for a moment before filling a glass with water. Carol popped the lid off and emptied the contents onto the counter. It was almost a full bottle, it would be enough.

As she gathered the first palmful in her trembling hand, she looked at the little round pills through watery eyes. This was it, she had finally reached the end. No going back. The gaping maw was looming in front of her, welcoming her in, and the sad truth was it frightened her less than the thought of staying here with him. Before she could get the pills to her mouth, a soft knocking at the door pulled her back from the edge of the black abyss.

"Mama, are you in there?"

_Sophia. _A small strangled sob tried to break free as her baby's sweet voice rang like an angel's sigh in Carol's ears and as she looked at the powdery white discs in her quivering palm, she was instantly disgusted with herself. The very thought of leaving her daughter behind to a life of misery with that monster downstairs made her want to throw up again. _Not my Sophia. Not a chance._

"Yeah baby I'm here, I'll be right out."

Carol flushed the pills down the toilet, the sight of them making her guts wrench. The thought of what she had very nearly done sent horrid shivers through her exhausted body, like someone had walked over her grave. She scooped up handfuls of her lost hair and watched as they sunk into the bin. Carol swiped at her eyes and took a deep breath before opening the door to Sophia's angelic face.

"Mama, what happened?" Sophia gasped, looking up at her with watery eyes like saucers. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine sweetie. Come here." She pulled Sophia close and bent to kiss the top of her head, knowing the little girl knew exactly what had happened

In that moment, Carol clung to Sophia like a life raft out in the middle of the ocean. She was the only reason she was glad she hadn't opted out a few moments ago. She was wrong when she thought she had nothing left - Sophia was everything. Carol knew she had to keep going. No matter what that bastard threw at her, she would take it, because there was no way in hell she was going to take the easy way out, leaving Sophia alone with him. From now on, she would have to be a lot stronger. A lot was going to change, starting now.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hello my pretties and welcome to another chapter! Are we all suitably flailing at *those* pics today? I can feel it in my bones people, this is _our_ time! **

**Anyway, Chapter 12. This is the second last flashback (I think) before we move on with the story in the present. I had considered doing flashbacks all the way through... but when I thought about it, fifteen years is a LOOOOONG time, and I only really needed them to show what happened between our babies. This one is pivotal. No going back. These other flashbacks, may appear in future however... (*cough*sequel*cough*) ;) **

**As always, big thank you to kaoscraze and allidon for their continued support and input, you two are awesome. Also thank you for the always kind reviews. Nothing makes me happier than hearing back from you guys. I do also apologise for the once a week updates but I like to stay a few steps ahead, that way you don't have to wait months for an update (I've read a few that I've loved but haven't been updated in about a year so think what I'm sparing you! Hehe) **

**Anyway enough of my yapping. To the Carylmobile!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, TWD, or anything like that. They own me!**

Chapter 12

Whenever Daryl was having a hard time, or needed to keep his mind occupied, he could always find solace in his work. Any time his daddy had flown into raging bull mode, Daryl threw himself into constructive activity, doing any jobs that Dale needed him to do and found it calmed him. Working had always been a sort of escape for him, even now in adulthood he found peace in focusing his mind and getting things done. Today however, it wasn't working.

He couldn't shake Ed Peletier's ugly fuckin' face from his mind, his eyes burned into his retinas as if he'd been staring at the sun. He'd barely slept a wink all night, his mind in overdrive, wondering what had caused Carol to wind up with an asshole like that. The seeds of worry that had been planted when he came face to face with Ed were taking root and sprouting, creeping like ivy. He hadn't liked anything about the picture this guy had painted in his head. He tried to convince himself he was just overreacting and that the dude was probably just all mouth, beating his chest because some guy showed up looking for his wife. The alternative was something he didn't want to even consider. _"__I__'__ll see that she gets it.__"_ He knew he had no right sticking his nose in other people's business, especially hers. He'd been gone too long, drifted too far from her. It wasn't his problem anymore, and yet, he had a maddening compulsion in his gut to do something. She wouldn't thank him for meddling though.

His concentration was shot; everything he touched was going wrong and making him madder by the second. The humidity wasn't helping either. His shirt clung to his back and chest and he just wanted to rip the damn thing off. He'd tried three times now to screw the radiator cap back on and just couldn't do it. His hands felt like he'd been sitting on them all day, pins and needles climbing up his arm every time he moved his fingers.

"Shit!" Daryl smacked the cap against the inside of the hood and stormed into the office where thankfully the fan was blowing.

He sat at the desk, his head in his hands as he tried to let go of the chaos in his mind. Everywhere he looked Ed's eyes were staring at him, and he was finding it really hard to keep it together. Seeing Carol again after all this time had brought back a lot of shit he thought he'd managed to bury, and now he had double helpings of guilt on the side. Their parting of the ways haunted him, and now he had seen the fruits of his labour. He knew it was his fault, Carol ending up with some prick that reminded him of his old man. If he could have kicked his own ass, he would have.

"Daryl?" He could hear Dale calling him from outside, followed by his footsteps as he peeked through the doorway. "Is everything alright?"

Daryl looked up at him briefly before returning his forehead to his palms. His head was starting to pulse with jagged pain; he really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, even Dale.

"Daryl?" Dale eyed him with concern, making his way to the desk. "What's wrong? Talk to me."

"I dunno where to fuckin' start." Daryl groaned, pulling his hands right down his face to rest his chin on. "Wish I'd stayed the hell away from that party." Dale's brows knitted together in confusion. "Carol."

Dale's frown suddenly eased off with realisation. "Ah."

"Didn't see that comin'."

"You two were pretty close weren't you? "

"Yeah, that year we were," Daryl sighed. "Seein' her again… it's fucked my head up."

"Did you talk to her?"

"A little. Don't think she was too happy to see me."

Dale nodded. "Well from what I hear she's got some troubles of her own. I wouldn't take it personally ."

Daryl's head shot up like a meerkat. "Troubles? What kinda troubles?"

Dale's gaze shifted to the door to make sure no one was around to overhear. "Her husband, Ed. I would stay away Daryl. He's bad news."

"Bad news how?" Daryl wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer, but he had to ask.

"He's got a bit of a reputation. Runs with a rough crowd - layabouts and crooks. He's trouble, that one." Dale looked at him insistently. "Trust me, Daryl. Stay away."

Daryl leaned back against the chair. "Too late for that. I already met the asshole."

"What? When?"

"Carol left her sweater at the party, so yesterday I went by-"

"You did what?" Dale's eyebrows shot up in wild arcs. Oh please tell me you're kidding."

Daryl scowled as he remembered the way Ed had looked at him, like he'd stepped in better looking shit. "He didn't exactly roll out the welcome mat."

Dale sighed in dismay. "Look, I know you cared about her once upon a time, but I'm telling you now, getting involved is only gonna bring you a world of trouble.."

"I ain't afraid of him," Daryl grunted, his fists balling at the idea.

"It's not about being afraid. It's about her getting caught in the middle and getting hurt." Dale's tone softened slightly at the look that flashed across Daryl's face. "Daryl what happened between you two back then? I always got the impression that you were more than just good friends."

Daryl looked at him like a rabbit caught in headlights. He'd had it eating away at him since he'd come back, but having Dale give him an open invitation to unload only made him want to bolt out of the office. Digging the past up meant actually taking responsibility for things that made him feel ashamed, and he wasn't sure if he was ready. He'd tried to block it out for years, tried to shake off the guilt. Coming back here had just stirred it all up again, and it was just as suffocating to him as it had been the day it happened.

"I don't wanna talk about it," Daryl's eyes fell, the wall going up as the memories came back more painful and raw than they had before. He didn't deserve to feel better about any of it.

Dale stirred his coffee and pulled out the chair across from him. Daryl could sense there was a 'talk' coming. He stared at the grain of the wood on the table, letting his eyes go out of focus, the mottled woodgrain blurring in his vision. His only way out of this was to disappear inside his bubble.

"I can't make you talk, heck I never could." Dale smirked at the memory. "But I know one thing. I've never known anything, not even your troubles at home when you were a boy, that was bad enough to put you off a day's work."

Daryl looked up at him. He had a point. Work had always been his escape, but there was no escaping this. As much as he wanted to clam up and wallow in his guilt and self pity, he was tired. He was losing his damn mind. The look on Dale's face was enough for Daryl to know he wasn't getting out of it without a fight anyway. He didn't have the strength to resist. Pressure welled behind his eyes from the sheer relentlessness of it all, and his voice cracked as he began to relive the past.

"I broke her goddamn heart."

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

The forest was still. The air was thick with humidity, and charged with electricity. Daryl knew they were in for yet another thunderstorm. This summer had been scorching, the hottest he could remember, and they'd had storms nearly every day for weeks. As he made his way to the cabin, he tried his best to figure out what the hell he was gonna do. He didn't want to go. This was the only place he'd ever been where he felt like he belonged. The thought of uprooting and starting all over again in a strange place, of leaving everything he knew, leaving Carol, it was more than he knew how to deal with. He didn't need to ask the reason; his old man had a habit of pissing off the wrong people and disappearing across country overnight. He should've expected it eventually, should've known not to get too comfortable and actually think he could be fuckin' happy for once. None of that mattered, though. He didn't matter, he just did what he was told because he was smart enough to know what would happen if he didn't.

How the fuck was he gonna break it to her? She had to be pissed as hell at him for sneaking off the other morning without a word, so he knew this wouldn't go down well either. He'd had to leave her. Seeing her lying curled up sleeping next to him had driven a sharp pain through his chest. What they'd done the night before had just cemented what he felt for her, and he knew if she woke up before he could get out it would have been impossible to go. He loved her. He'd known for a while but all he felt right now was angry and afraid, and lost. He didn't know what to do, so he just kept walking. Daryl trudged through the forest, the sound of bark and damp twigs creaking and snapping under his boots the only sounds he could hear. It was starting to rain.

As the cabin came into view, a loud snap made him spin around, on alert. Carol.

"Shit, ya tryn'a give me a heart attack?" he barked irritably, his voice laced with the venom flowing in his veins that seeped from his thoughts. A realisation suddenly hit him. "You been followin' me?"

"Well I haven't seen you since Saturday when you snuck off like a dog." Carol folded her arms, her tone scathing. "Have you been avoiding me? How come I haven't seen you at school?"

Daryl avoided her glare, trying to think of how to drop the bomb without hurting her. When an answer didn't present itself and her eyes started burning holes in his head, he turned on his heel and continued trudging towards the cabin.

"Daryl!" she called after him, incredulous. "Daryl stop!"

He slowed to a halt, not wanting to turn around and face the inevitable. He could feel both rage and sorrow strangling him from the inside. This was gonna kill her.

"Look at me," Carol said, her voice trembling.

He turned around slowly, afraid of the look he might find on her face. It was as if she already knew. She looked frightened, like she had come to him for reassurance that everything was okay. Guilt was choking him, stopping the words from leaving his throat.

"I went by your house on Saturday."

Guilt gave way to anger, and Daryl's face screwed up in disbelief. "You did what?"

"I came by looking for you."

"I told ya before to stay the hell away!" he growled. "What did ya-"

"I saw Merle," she cut him off, the words sticking in him like knives and putting him on alert. "He seemed to think you were leaving town, but I told him he had it wrong because you wouldn't keep something like that from me, would you?"

_Merle. That fuckin__'__ son of a bitch. _He'd known Daryl and Carol were together and that it was gonna be hard for him to leave her behind. His rage bubbled in the pit of his stomach, making his breaths quicken and his throat close up. The heavy silence said what he couldn't, and it was deafening. Daryl couldn't look at her. He could feel her eyes locked on him like a crosshair, ready to fire if he didn't produce the answer she wanted .

"Would you?!" Her shrill voice made him jump slightly.

He gingerly lifted his gaze to her terrified expression. Her eyes were sparkling with moisture and her chest was heaving; he knew this wasn't gonna end well. Carol let out a ragged gasp, like someone had punched her in the ribs and winded her. Raindrops were falling all around them now, picking up a steady rhythm as they landed on the forest floor and pattered the leaves on the trees. He just stood there, words failing him, taking in her hurt and feeling like the biggest jerk on the planet.

"When were you going to tell me?" she croaked. "When?!"

"He had no right runnin' his fuckin' mouth off." Daryl muttered.

"Don't blame him for this! You've been lying to me , making me think everything was fine, and I find out from your brother?" She was starting to lose control of her voice, her breakdown imminent.

"What was I 'sposed to do, huh?" Daryl's voice grew raw. "Ya think I had a choice?"

"You chose to lie, Daryl! And to humiliate me." She screeched at him tearfully, and Daryl looked at her in confusion, before realisation hit him. "Make you feel like a big man, did it? You had your fun with me then went running to Merle bragging… I thought I was worth more than that to you!"

"Yeah well ya thought wrong," he snapped. The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, his rage overriding control of his speech and firing shots at her that she didn't deserve. Somehow it made it easier to lash out and hurt her, to push her away, put some distance between them. "Ya think this is some damn romance novel? We all live fuckin' happily ever after? We screwed Carol, big deal! Ya think it changes anythin'… huh? Ya think it's gonna keep me here?"

Her eyes glimmered as a silent tear rolled down her cheek, disbelief and hurt etched into her features as she took every barb he lashed her with. He knew her heart was breaking, but it only made him angrier. Angry at himself for what he was doing, angry at her for standing there and letting him tear her to pieces, angry at his dad, Merle, the fuckin' rain.

"I thought…" she mouthed, her voice failing her.

"You thought what?" he sneered derisively, right in her face. "Thought I loved ya? I dunno what dumb fairytale shit's goin' on in your head, but it ain't real!"

Carol swiped her cheeks with her hand and continued to take every blow he threw her way, allowing herself a wistful smile through watery eyes. His blood was boiling now, chest heaving, unable to control the rage surging through his veins.

"What makes ya think you're so damn special huh?" Daryl spat, his voice close to breaking. "Think we're gonna run off into the sunset just 'cause you drop your panties?"

As soon as the last word left his mouth he knew he'd crossed a line. The slap seared his cheek and jaw hard before he had time to blink, leaving an angry sting on his rain soaked face. Her eyes were narrow slits, brimming over with hot tears. All at once he felt regret and shame weighing him down, almost completely dulling the burning sensation in his cheek. The anger was still there, but more at himself now than anything else. He'd deserved a slap, goading her for it, getting angrier as she just stood there and took it all. Now he had his hand on his face, watching her sob as the rain drove down in hard, fat bullets. He wanted to pull her into his arms and take back everything he'd just said, kiss her until she stopped crying and tell her everything would be okay, but he knew it was too late. Their friendship lay in tatters, he'd ripped it to shreds just like he'd needed to, but it brought him nothing but a horrific aching in his chest.

Carol gave him one last solemn look, her eyes red from crying, curls plastered to her face with rain, and turned away. The pull in his gut was awful. He wanted to go after her, to haul her back and tell her he wasn't going anywhere, beg her if he had to. But he just stood there, looking after her as she ran, disappearing between the trees. This wasn't real. His body felt limp, like he'd just had 10,000 volts pumped into him. He couldn't move. He had thought it would hurt less this way but he was wrong. It hurt more than any beating he'd ever taken off his old man. The reality of what had just happened hit him and he sank to the ground, his knees giving way from the shock. Sharp twigs and bark bit at his knees as the pain swelled inside him, choking off his airway and half strangling him. His eyes burned and his hands dug into the waterlogged carpet of foliage as he fell forward. Agonising sobs that he couldn't hold back came pouring out of him in a river that ran with the rain.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Chapter 13? Okay I'm officially panicking eeeeep! Gonna try not to babble too much. Thanks as per to everyone for reading etc, also thanks to everyone who cheered me up at the weekend. I was having a bit of a stress. Writer's block has struck and I have a ton of adult boring stuff to do for exams etc so this is exactly why I update at a rate of one chapter a week... so you lovely lot don't need to wait 3 years for an update and in turn end up hating me haha! **

**Last flashback... not sure if there will be any more (maybe at the end?) but did I also mention... *cough*SEQUEL*cough*. Yes. Aherm. **

**This chapter made me cry. I will admit it without shame. I cried at myself. Young Carol's situation reminded me of something similar I went through and this scene is basically lifted from my own manpain haha. Also the first scene with Adult Carol I wrote to the soundtrack of I Dreamed a Dream sung by Susan Boyle. It fits. **

**Anyway, I have lots to do so enjoy my loves! And keep those sweet reviews coming, I need the feel good right now! **

**Also I know this is a huge angst fest... but it's allll about to change ;) bwahahahaha!**

**_Disclaimer: TWD and its characters are the property of that baaaad man. Not me._ **

Chapter 13

Carol stared at the ghost in the bathroom mirror. The timid, broken woman looking back at her with empty eyes was a shadow of the sassy, vibrant girl with the blue eyes and wild hair that everyone used to comment on. She wasn't Carol Grant, or even Carol Peletier anymore. She didn't know who she was. Some poor, hopeless creature that a thousand people would pass in the street without a glance, like the kind in the stories her mama used to tell her when she was little. Now she was in the story, but there was no good Samaritan to save her.

When she'd woken, reality had slammed into her as she relived the horror that had been yesterday. She'd rolled slightly on her face and winced at the pain that corkscrewed through her temple, biting her lip to stifle the yelp incase she woke him up. She hadn't imagined yesterday. The cool brush of the pillow against her strained neck had reminded her that her hair was gone, and a painful grief she hadn't felt since her parents had passed away settled into her aching body.

Her beautiful long locks were tucked into a bag on the sidewalk for the garbage men to pick it up. Part of her wished it was her in that bag. Her spirit was shattered, the last of it waiting outside to be picked up and slung into the back of a truck. She felt naked and exposed without her thick nest of curls, like there was really nowhere to hide now. The thought of leaving the house and having people stare at her made her want to vomit. He had inflicted the ultimate humiliation on her, taken away the last part of who she once was. Her scalp still stung from the grip Ed had held her in, pulling handfuls of her hair out by force as he jerked her around like a rag doll.

Exhaustion had found places inside her previously untouched. Sleep had eluded her for hours when she finally got to bed, after a night of trying to subtly reassure Sophia that everything would be alright and tending Ed as though nothing had happened - despite wanting nothing more than to grab Sophia and bolt out of the door. She had waited until he'd staggered upstairs and she could hear him snoring before she went to bed, not even wanting to be in the same room as him let alone lie in the same bed. The thought made her skin crawl, and the tears had come again. She considered sleeping on the couch but knew her best chance of getting out of this mess was to act as normal as possible until she figured out what to do. The dilemma tormented her all night, as she relived the trauma, blow by blow. When sleep did finally come for her, it was restless and weak, the nightmares jerking her awake, forcing hot droplets from her eyes until it was eventually time to get up.

As she inched gingerly out of bed, trying her best to be quiet, her entire body creaked in objection. Her ordeal had left its mark on her both mentally and physically. She padded unsteadily to the bathroom, her body seeming to weigh twice as much as it had yesterday morning. She didn't need to look in the mirror to know the damage was bad. The moment she'd opened her eyes she'd known that she had a black eye; the skin around the top of her cheekbone was itchy and tender, her vision blurred from her swollen eyelid. Carol was loath to look at herself. She felt so ashamed and pathetic. Her own trauma was raw and fresh, her head still swimming with dizziness, but it paled into insignificance when she thought about what she had almost done.

_What kind of mother are you?_ She could still feel the pills in her hand; she had almost gone through with it. A congested sob escaped, tears making her sore eye burn angrily. The one thing Carol was grateful for was that Sophia had not been present to witness the horror show, just the aftermath. Of course she had figured out pretty quickly what had happened, having grown up in a constant ominous atmosphere, witnessing enough to know when something was wrong. The thought that her sweet baby girl had to hear her sobbing on the bathroom floor over the crumbling ruins of her life was more than she could bear. If Carol had her way this would end today. She would never have to hear those sounds again.

The shadow in the mirror had her work cut out. She was scared out of her mind. Ed thought nothing of slapping her about, and in some ways she was used to living like a fearful dog, cowering every time she heard a raised voice. But yesterday… yesterday had been so much worse than anything he'd done before, and it had left her in a state of panic. He'd been possessed by some out of control entity and she'd honestly thought he was going to go the whole way and kill her. If he could do that to her, she shuddered to think what else he was capable of. Now as she stood in front of the mirror, trying to work out how to erase the crimson stain on her face and somehow disguise her hair so she could take Sophia to school, she realised she had reached the end of the line. Brushing this off wasn't going to work anymore. She had been lax in her handling of the situation for years now, and it had almost gotten her killed. With the message pounding loud and clear in her temple, she knew exactly how far he would go given half the chance.

Carol dried her eyes, quickly brushed her teeth and carefully washed her tender face. Today felt like the north face of some insurmountable rocky summit. Every fibre of her being screamed at her to stay in the bathroom, in safety. Now she had a door between herself and Ed she didn't want to open it. She would have rather opened the door to some awful creation from the mind of a science fiction author. For a while she stood just looking at the door handle, paralysed by fear, listening for signs that he was awake. She was holding her breath without realising it, and finally willed her hand to turn the doorknob when she heard him snoring again. She hurried past him like he might jump up and grab her at any moment, her heart threatening to burst through her chest.

Carol swallowed back waves of emotion and nausea until Ed had gone to work; fixing his breakfast like she did every morning, trying to get him out of the house as quickly as possible by carrying on with the status quo. Sophia had barely said two words, offering only worried little smiles as she got ready for school and ate her breakfast. Nobody spoke, not even Ed. He seemed to be in a trance, not making eye contact with either of them, like they weren't even there. Carol felt like she was walking on eggshells until he finally got up and skulked out of the door to work without so much as a grunt.

As the time drew near to take Sophia to school, she could feel her heart pick up and her palms began to sweat. The thought of people in the neighbourhood seeing her, staring at her, made her want to lock herself in the bathroom again. She was running out of time to think how she could get Sophia to school without being seen. Suddenly she had an idea and hurried to the window. Peering down the street, she saw Lori's car was still parked up in the driveway. Rummaging in the kitchen she found a pair of sunglasses and one of Ed's hoodies draped around one of the chairs at the table. Despite the smell of him on it making her skin crawl, it was a means to an end and she wouldn't have it on long. Bundled up against the world, she grabbed her keys and took a deep breath as she ushered Sophia out of the door.

"Mama we're going the wrong way!" Sophia tried to keep up as Carol practically dragged her by the hand down the street across to Lori's.

"Change of plan sweetie, hurry up now."

As they approached the house, she could see Lori opening the door to walk Carl out to the car, but she halted in her tracks when she looked up and saw them rushing down the street. Carl looked at his mother and back at Carol, both of them acknowledging that something was wrong. Before either of them could say anything she jumped in first, putting on the best smile she could manage, hoping it would be convincing enough.

"Morning you two," she said, trying to keep her tone light so nobody would notice anything was wrong and adjusting her hood carefully. "Beautiful day isn't it? You know, I was just thinking, how do you two feel about making your own way to school today? I think you're both old enough now. What do you think, Mom?" She turned to Lori, who could definitely sense something was wrong from the way she was eyeing her with concern.

"Umm, yeah," she stuttered after a moment, turning her attention to Carl. "I guess that would be alright with me. Can I trust you to get yourself and Sophia to school on time?"

Carl looked back over at Carol and Sophia, the cogs turning in his head, obviously sensing something wasn't right, but not wanting to pass up an opportunity like this. "Sure, we'll be fine, it's only a couple of blocks. C'mon Sophia."

Lori nodded, sending him down the path to Sophia as Carol left her with a kiss and made her way up to the porch. She didn't want to let go of her but she knew this was something she had to do, for both their sakes.

"Have a good day at school you two, we'll come pick you up afterwards okay?" Lori called after them.

Sophia cast one final apprehensive glance back at Carol, as if she didn't want to leave her either. "Bye mama, I love you."

"I love you too sweetheart." The last syllable caught in Carol's throat, but she managed to keep the smile painted on her face long enough for the two children to turn away towards school.

As soon as they were out of earshot, the silence that fell weighed a ton on her shoulders, and she felt Lori's hand on the small of her back, ushering her into the house. Lori closed the door quickly and guided her into the kitchen to sit at the table. She pulled out a chair and sat close to Carol, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Carol could feel her friend's eyes on her, and lifted her head to a concerned stare.

"Talk to me. What's wrong?"

Carol slowly took off her glasses and her heart sank at the little gasp Lori failed to keep in, her own emotions almost drowning her as she managed to force out a single word.

The floodgates came crashing open.

"Everything."

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

A light rap at the door made her jump and Carol hurriedly swiped at her eyes with her palms.

"Carol honey, its mom. You awake?"

She sniffed and tried to compose herself before answering. "Yeah I'm awake."

The door creaked open and Gina crept in. The look on her face told Carol that her attempts at making herself look presentable had failed miserably.

"Oh baby," she frowned, sitting on the bed and wrapping an arm around Carol's shoulder. "Come on, no boy on God's green earth is worth all these tears. The ones that are don't make you cry."

"I love him mama, I wish I didn't but I do and it hurts so bad!" Fresh sobs strangled the breath from her and she buried her face in her mother's bosom as she fell helplessly apart.

"Shhh-shhh-shhh," Gina hushed, rocking her back and forth. "It's alright, just let it all out."

It had finally come crashing down on her, and the love of her mother only made it worse. There was nothing she could do to stop her body convulsing with every ugly sob. Her world was crumbling around her. She couldn't contemplate a day without him let alone forever, but now she was faced with the cruelty of not having any choice. Reality had kicked her in the gut and the bitter truth, that he was gone, stabbed at her heart like no pain she'd ever felt in her life. She wanted the ground to open up and swallow her, to be free from the torment. Her mother's embrace drew the grief from her like a priest exorcising a demon and she was totally powerless to resist it.

"Mama what am I gonna do?" Carol forced the words out between energy draining sobs. "Tell me… what to do…"

"Shhh… come on honey. It's alright." Gina kissed her head and smoothed out her long auburn tresses.

"It hurts…. so… bad."

She cried until her river ran dry and her body was drained of its reserves. She felt like a freight train had slammed into her at full speed, and all she wanted to do was lie down and let everything fade to black. Her sobs eventually slowed to occasional reflexive gasps. When it seemed the deluge had calmed, Gina persuaded her to go wash her face and come get ready for bed. Carol changed into her nightdress and sat on the end of the bed as her mother knelt behind her and set to brushing out her wild thicket of curls.

"You feel better now honey?"

"Not really, just tired," she sighed quietly.

"You'll sleep tonight for sure."

"I doubt it," Carol sniffed. "Didn't sleep last night."

"I know, I heard you get up." Gina pulled the brush through Carol's hair in long smooth strokes.

"Needed a drink. Couldn't settle so I sat at the kitchen table for a while. Didn't help."

Carol felt some of her tension loosen as the soft brushstrokes smoothed out waves that tickled her back and shoulders. The release of pressure and grief had definitely helped, but she supposed the fact she was tired had something to do with it too. Her energy levels were sitting at an all time low right now but she knew that in the morning when she woke up and it all flooded back that she would have to feel it all over again. How many mornings could she face waking up to the emptiness of another day without him? They stretched out in front of her, months, years, forever, into the distance.

As if she had read her mind, Gina attempted to enlighten her daughter. "I know you're hurting baby. I've had my heart broken too, and I know how it feels. Even if there was any point carrying on, you just don't want to. Nothing else matters, yet people tell you to move on and forget about him. It's not what you want to hear, but the truth hurts sometimes sweetie. It hurts because you know that's what you have to do. You're gonna feel like crap for a while, but believe me when I tell you that it won't be forever." She scooted round and cupped Carol's face in her hands. "I know it feels like it now, but you listen to your mama. I may be an old fogie but I know what I'm saying's true. One day you'll wake up and it won't hurt so much. You'll realise that you _can_ go on, and you wont have a frown on that beautiful face. You know there's a saying… if you love someone, let them go. If they come back, they're yours. If they don't… then it wasn't meant to be. Maybe he'll come back, but you can't wish your life away waiting on him. You have to try. Can you do that for me?"

Carol nodded and managed a wistful smile, her tears replenished and shining, ready to fall. Gina wiped them before they left her eyes.

"No more crying tonight, okay? Promise me."

"I'll try Mama," she mumbled.

"No you promise me, and we'll do something tomorrow just the two of us. Deal?"

"Okay, I promise."

"That's my girl. Now scoot, bed time." She pulled the covers back and Carol climbed under, shifting down until her head was nestled in her pillow.

Gina stroked the hair out of Carol's face and dropped a kiss on her head. "Night baby girl."

"Goodnight Mama."

Carol snuggled down and Gina turned off the lamp and moved towards the door.

"Mama?"

"Yes honey?" Gina stopped for a moment at the door.

"I love you."

"I love you too sweetie."

With a quiet click the door closed and Carol was alone again. She listened to Gina's footsteps on the stairs followed by hushed voices in the kitchen, no doubt discussing her. She ran her hand across the sheet where he'd slept on that night she couldn't forget and closed her eyes. She replayed every heartbeat in her mind, every sweet feeling she'd experienced as the rain had lashed off the windows. The visualisation ignited a painful longing that sapped the last of her energy before sleep filled her head. She could keep her promise for tonight, but for tomorrow the best she could offer was to try.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Okay so who apart from me is still flailing at that McReedus pic? Those little shits are gonna kill me. And the season 5 synopsis? OMG. Yes anyway, moving on because I have so much going on in my head it's driving me mad haha! Here is the chapter I know a lot of you have been waiting on. Don't be too disappointed, because let's just say I'm not done yet and what comes later will knock you sideways. That's all I'm gonna say. *maniacal laughing echoing into eternity***

**Anyway, enjoy...**

**Oh and as always thank you to my besties _kaoscraze_ and _allidon_ for keeping me on the right track. And you guys for being awesome.**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill. I do not own TWD or any of its characters, no copyright intended blah blah. I do this for fun. Well, sometimes. **

Chapter 14

"I can't believe I've let this happen." Carol stared into her now empty coffee cup wistfully, wishing she was anywhere but here.

As soon as Lori knew everything there was to know, she'd called Rick and given him the whole story, despite her anger straining on the end of its tether and wanting to call Ed all the bastards under the sun. The phone call was brief and the outcome was something Carol didn't find appealing in the least. After some persuading Carol had finally agreed to go to the police, but now as she sat picking apart her coffee cup in the interview room she felt like her life was running away from her, like she had no control over what happened next.

Lori resumed her position in the seat next to her and fixed her with a determined stare. "Listen to me, you are not to blame for any of this! You have nothing to worry about, trust me. It's Ed that should be worried. I still can't believe what he did. I thought I knew just what kind of scumbag he was, but he's blown that theory out of the water."

Carol allowed herself a wry smirk. "You did? I've been living with him for thirteen years but even I didn't see that coming."

"I wish you'd come to me right away yesterday," Lori frowned sadly.

"I wanted to, but I knew my best chance of making it out was to pretend like everything was fine until he left for work. He scared me so much…" Carol tried to steady her voice. "I was afraid what he might do if I tried to leave the house."

"Oh sweetie." Lori gathered Carol in her arms. "You're safe now, you and Sophia. You can stay with us as long as you like, you know that right?"

"I don't want to be any trouble," she mumbled.

"And you can cut that out right now," Lori eyed her insistently. "You're no trouble at all. I'm so proud of you for coming to me, I know it must've been hard because you were so afraid, but you've done the right thing Carol. He can't hurt you now and believe me, he's gonna pay for what he did to you."

Carol cuddled in closer to Lori. The thought of Ed paying for anything seemed so impossible it frightened her. Before they'd arrived at the station she'd spent an hour in Lori's house nervously fidgeting, jumping out of her skin every time she heard a car door close. peering through the curtains towards her house. She knew Ed wouldn't be home for hours but she kept being drawn to the window. Each time she saw the driveway empty she breathed an inward sigh of relief that he wasn't coming for her yet.

She had gone through the big reveal of her black eye and then sheepishly lowered her hood to expose her butchered hair, trying her best not to fall to pieces in front of Lori. She failed to keep it together when Lori grabbed her in a fierce embrace, struggling with her own tears and battling against the anger surging through her body at what her friend had been forced to suffer. Lori had let her cry for as long as she'd needed to, and she'd needed it badly. The chaos of her life, ripped up like a house in some category five storm, was crashing around her ears and there was nowhere to hide from it. There were shards of hopelessness, painful splinters of memories hurtling at her from all directions, cutting her, flaying her until the agony was almost unbearable. Carol hadn't cried like this for a long time, although this was a different kind of grief. She wasn't mourning a lost love… she was mourning the loss of herself.

When she'd calmed down enough to be able to talk, Lori had listened as she relived the whole nightmarish ordeal, pausing to compose herself several times. As each new horror emerged Lori's expression had grown sombre and angry. Carol had had doubts about whether to tell Lori about the pills, but she was tired of covering things up, tired of pretending everything was alright. It was a wall she'd been holding up all by herself for too long, and she just couldn't hold it anymore. Lori had broke down and suddenly they were both crying again. It felt so good to release all of the misery she'd been keeping inside for years.

Now as they waited and she sat huddled up to Lori, the reality of her current situation came home to roost. Any moment now the door would open and she would be reliving it all over again, sifting through every detail of her abuse, not even certain that anything would come of it. There was the frightening possibility that no action would be taken. Ed had always been able to charm his way out of anything, and she was almost certain in her mind that if there was a way out of this, he would find it. He'd play it off as one big misunderstanding, then he would come home, she would have to go back and everything would return to normal. Cowering on the bathroom floor, yet another bruise for the collection, and this time she would know to keep her mouth shut. There was no help, not really. In her mind, she would be trapped by him forever. Men like Ed always got away with it, and she was terrified of the fallout from this. Suddenly she wondered whether she had done the right thing, whether she had overreacted. Was this too much of a fuss to be making over a slap and losing her hair? Her hair would grow and the bruise would fade, and those two facts suddenly seemed to outweigh any comfort she had drawn from L:ori.

"Honey you're trembling, what's wrong?" Lori drew back, concern etched into her features.

"What if it's not enough Lori?" she sniffed. "What if nobody believes me and he just gets away with it?"

"Hey listen to me, he is not getting away with anything, okay?" Lori wiped at the salty tracks on Carol's face. "I believe you, and no matter what happens there is no way I'm letting you and Sophia go back to him. You're safe now, both of you. I promise you he is not getting away with it this time."

"I just feel like they're gonna wonder why I didn't come forward sooner, what if they think I just made it all up?"

"They're not gonna think that," Lori coaxed, shaking her head. "Trust me on this one, Carol. Rick and Shane will make sure he can't wriggle his way out of this."

"I can't go back there Lori, I just can't," Carol croaked.

"Even if you wanted to, I wouldn't let you." Lori wrapped her arm around Carol's shoulder again, pulling her close. "I know it's hard but try not to worry. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you."

Carol breathed a heavy sigh. Worrying was about all she could muster the energy to do. Until Ed was locked in a cell she wouldn't be able to rest, and the more she thought about it, despite Lori's reassurances, the more it seemed like an inevitable fact that he would be excused. Every glint of hope that presented itself she found a way he could get around it. Then another thought occurred to her. If she didn't go back it meant she and Sophia were homeless. Ed had drilled it into her over the years that she needed him, that he kept the food on the table and the clothes on their backs. She didn't have a job, how would she provide for Sophia? She could hear his voice ringing in her mind, his smug eyes laughing at her as she realised he was right. He would always have a hold over her, always stop her from being free. In some ways, it felt like he had already gotten away with it.

The door swung open, hinges screeching and causing Carol to jump as Rick and Shane entered. She glanced at Lori anxiously. After last night's ordeal that seemed to move in agonising slow motion, she was hurtling through today with terrifying velocity. It was all too much, too sudden, and she knew it had to be but it still overwhelmed her. This was happening now, it was no longer a faraway plan in her head that would never come to fruition because she was too scared; she had set the wheels in motion to break away. She had to decide what scared her more; taking this first brave step forward, or facing the rest of her life stuck in purgatory.

"Hey Carol," Rick greeted her as he sat down across from her at the table. "How ya holdin' up?"

"I've looked better that's for sure," she joked, hoping to lighten the tension in her body.

"Well you're doing the right thing. I know this has been difficult for you, but you've already done the hardest part, telling Lori and coming to us for help." Rick's voice was soft and comfortingly familiar, smoothing out the ripples of anxiety pulsing through her body.

"Yeah don't worry your pretty lil' head 'bout a thing," Shane nodded to her with a crooked smile which didn't quite mask the barely subdued rage behind his dark eyes. "Rick and I are gonna do whatever it takes to make sure that sonuvabitch don't lay a hand on you again."

Carol smiled weakly at him, his words making her feel a fleeting glimpse of relief. She couldn't pinpoint the cause. Perhaps the fact they seemed to be taking her seriously, or the notion of someone she had long considered a dark and sinister, now standing in her corner ready to defend her. The thought of having someone like Shane standing between her and Ed made her feel a little better; it was good to feel something other than dread, however brief it was.

"Shane's right," Rick nodded. "First we need to establish exactly what happened so we gotta ask you some questions. I understand it's difficult to talk about, but you take as much time as you need and we can stop and take a break if we have to."

Carol nodded gratefully and exhaled an unsteady breath, knowing she would definitely need to take a break. It had taken her forever to tell Lori what happened.

"We need to know in as much detail as you can remember, what he said and did to you. I know it's not something you wanna rehash but the more detail we have the better off we'll be with the judge. After we're done here we'll need you to get checked out at the hospital and have some pictures taken."

"Judge? Pictures?" Carol shot Lori a look of pure panic. "Wait, I just thought I had to give a statement, nobody said anything about judges or taking pictures."

"It's standard procedure, I promise," Rick reassured her. "Everyone involved in abuse cases has to go through the same thing. You won't be seeing the judge today, but with the evidence we have it'll be enough to serve Ed with an arrest warrant and lock him up until something more permanent can be done." He leaned in, giving her a look of pure empathy. "I promise we'll make this as painless as possible, but it has to be done."

"He's right Carol," Lori rubbed soothing circles on her back to dissipate the tension. "I know you're worried he's gonna wriggle out of this, but if you give them the information they need then there's nowhere for him to run. The evidence is gonna speak for itself."

Carol knew Lori was right, but the idea of doctors prodding at her and taking photos like she was some lab experiment made her want to run away. There were scars and marks on her body that she'd kept hidden from even Lori, but she knew that going into an exam room on her own was something she couldn't face.

"Will you come with me?" She looked at Lori anxiously.

Lori smiled softly, rubbing Carol's back affectionately. "Of course I will."

Carol turned back to Rick. "Okay, I'll do whatever I need to."

"Good," Rick replied, nodding to Shane to get the paperwork. "Let's get this part over and done with then we'll send you on your way. You ready?"

Carol took a deep breath, asking herself the question even though she already knew the answer.

"As ready as I'll ever be I guess."

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

Tree after tree flickered past in a blur as she stared out of the car window, her eyes lazy and out of focus, not really registering any of the sights that passed by as they drove home. She felt content to just stare blankly at the world as it flew past; it would have taken more energy than she had to refocus and deal with reality.

Carol had never felt like more of a victim than she did in the hospital. The female doctor and nurse had been nice enough, but she still felt so uncomfortable to have anybody look at her; she could scarcely bare to look at herself in the mirror. She'd had photographs taken of every part of her body he'd ever laid a hand on in anger. Most were scars, long healed by time but still raw inside. She'd felt like a criminal having mug shots taken when the nurse got to her face, but the ultimate humiliation was when the doctor recommended a rape kit. It made her feel dirty and cheap, and she declined. She hadn't been raped anyway… this time. The doctor had gone through her records and Carol confirmed the times she'd been admitted before were times Ed had put her there. The pile of evidence against him was growing, and the doctor had some compelling viewing to hand over.

Rick had called Lori as soon as he'd gotten word that the doctor's report was being processed and told them that he and Shane would take care of the rest, and to take Carol home and wait for more news. Now as she sat in the passenger seat totally oblivious to anything other than the blurred colours and shapes on the other side of the glass, the day was just a haze in the back of her mind. She was almost content to sit in a trance, letting the car take her wherever it went, not having to think about anything. For days all she had done was think, and it had escalated into a crazy buzzing in her head since last night, sapping her energy without her even realising it.

A gentle touch on her arm jerked her back to reality with a slight start. "Wha-?"

"Sorry honey, didn't mean to startle you," Lori said apologetically. "Are you okay?"

Carol smiled back feebly. "Yeah, I'm okay. Guess I was just drifting."

"You've had a tough few days, you must be tired." Lori reached over and rubbed her arm sympathetically. "Don't worry, we'll go pick the kids up and head home for some rest."

Carol's eyes fell to her hands as the illusion of peace fizzled away at the mention of home. The only way she had managed to get through today was breaking it up into tiny parts and dealing with them as they came. This part of the day wasn't something she could break into a small piece; it loomed ahead like some unconquerable mountain, and the closer to home they got, the taller and steeper it became. There was no way around it, or over it. She was hurtling straight through it at a terrifying speed. All she could manage was a weak smile, and as she turned back towards the window her heart jumped nervously in her chest at the thought of what lay ahead.

The whole concept of confronting Ed had been tucked away at the back of her mind since this morning, and probably long before then, before she had the courage to do anything about it. It never seemed real, always something she would deal with sometime in the future, and now that it was here Carol couldn't decide how she felt about it. Scared for one thing; if this all went horribly wrong she dreaded to think where she would go from here. Another smaller part of her actually felt guilty. She'd laid her entire life bare at the station and Ed hadn't come out of it looking pretty. She couldn't help but feel shame at what she'd done. He was probably going to get into a lot of trouble and it was all her fault. Her secrets were out, and it was too late to take any of them back. Now the time was almost upon her, and the mountain was towering, bearing down on her with a crushing weight that forced the air from her lungs. She couldn't breathe.

As the car pulled up outside the school, Carol realised that Sophia still didn't know what was happening. Carl and Sophia were coming out of the main doors and making their way up the path to the school gates, and Carol's brain whirred into action, trying to plan how she was going to explain it all. The two youngsters spotted the car and it was at that point that Carol noticed Sophia's face was all red and blotchy. She'd been crying. Carl looked towards the car, concern etched into his features and then back to Sophia. She was trying her best to look okay, but Carol knew she was far from it. She threw open the passenger door and sprung out of her seat.

"Sophia honey, are you alright?" Carol called to her as a walk broke into a canter.

Sophia wiped her face as best she could and nodded. "I'm fine, Mama. How are you?"

Carol grabbed her into a fierce hug and tried not to get emotional. Everything she had been through today seemed like nothing now that she had her baby girl in her arms again. It was however hard to deal with the fact that Sophia was more concerned about how she was.

"I'm fine sweetie," she sniffed, stroking Sophia's sticky face. "Listen I don't want you getting upset about anything alright? Everything's going to be fine I promise."

"Mama I'm scared," Sophia mumbled. "I know what happened."

"Oh I know sweetheart," Carol wiped away one of her own tears. "But you don't have to be scared anymore. We're going to stay with Lori for a little while."

"What about-"

"We're not going back honey," Carol cut her off, her voice now strong and protective. "He can't hurt us anymore."

Sophia clung to her, and Carol wound her arms around her like she might disappear. For now her fear was overridden by pure maternal instinct. As she guided Sophia back to the car, she felt the weight ease slightly from her chest. She had her little girl, and they had a place to go where they could be safe. There was still the prospect of trouble looming when Ed got home and realised they were gone, but she would have to be strong for Sophia and resist the urge to go back to him with her tail between her legs. She couldn't be that trembling little mouse on the bathroom floor anymore.

The short car ride home had been quiet, and Sophia had reached into the front seat for her mama's hand and clung onto it for dear life the entire way. When they pulled into the street and saw Ed's car parked in the driveway, shadowed by the distinct presence of a police car, Sophia had gripped it even harder and Carol whipped her head around to give her a reassuring glance. She tried to ignore the fact that her heart was close to breaking through her ribcage and she began to flush with panic. The car stopped outside Lori's and she glanced across at Carol to make sure she was alright.

"It's gonna be okay," she mouthed, her study of Carol telling her that she was far from alright.

Carol managed a weak corner-of-mouth smile as she released her seatbelt and opened the passenger door. A torrent of shouting and cursing burst out into the street, making her swivel on her heel and reel back sheepishly. She knew that voice by its volume alone and by the chill it sent up her spine and into every nerve ending in her body. She should've known he wouldn't go quietly.

"Ya better take your goddamn hands off me asshole! This is assault!" Ed yelled, as he strained against the hold Rick and Shane had him under as they led him out and struggled with him towards the car.

"Better watch your mouth sunshine," Shane growled. "Unless ya want breach of the peace added to assault. Now get in!"

"I already told ya I ain't done shit!" Ed's head shot up as he spotted Carol getting Sophia out of the car. "Bet this is all your fuckin' doin' huh? Runnin' your mouth off to your little pal, spreadin' all kinds of shit about me? Look at me bitch!"

Carol's eyes flickered quickly in his direction, before returning to Sophia. She pulled her in close and turned to walk into the house, his eyes still burning into her back like lasers.

"You're gonna regret this!" Ed shouted. "You need me!"

"Shut up and get the hell in the car!" Shane scowled, roughly pressing down on his head as he stuffed Ed into the police car.

Carol turned back briefly to see the car drive past, Ed's glare finding her from the shadows of the back seat. Her grip on Sophia tightened. She'd never seen more hate in his eyes, and it frightened her more than any look he had ever given her. It was too late though… it had happened now, and she would have to pray to God that this all worked out the way it was supposed to.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Omg you guys! Have we had a fabby few weeks or what?! Season 5 is fast approaching and I for one cannot wait! We are also now coming into the real shizzle with this story so fasten your seatbelts! Now that Ed is out of the way, who knows what could happen! Little bit of fluff in this chapter to break up the angst but fear not, what's coming in the next few chapters is squeal worthy (I hope!) Thanks to kaoscraze and allidon as always for helping me. This chapter was a bit of a PITA so thanks you two for rescuing me!**

**Enjoy loves!**

**Disclaimer: TWD and its characters belong to their rightful owners. No copyright intended. Sheesh. **

Chapter 15

Daryl hadn't been able to shake off the dark cloud that had settled around his heart since reliving the past with Dale. It had all come flooding back more vividly than he had expected; he could still feel the water seeping through his pants from the rain soaked forest floor where he'd sobbed himself hoarse on his knees as she'd run away from him. He could still see her blue eyes shimmering with hurt as he'd fired shots at her, cutting her to the bone. It was something he didn't think he'd ever be able to erase from his memory; Lord knows he had tried over the years but it was never really gone. It lurked in the recesses of his mind, quietly haunting his subconscious, knowing it would resurface again one day. He hadn't really wanted to delve into any of it again, but in a way it had been good to unload some of the weight. Dale as usual had listened without passing judgement, nodding and giving the odd understanding glance or interjection. He couldn't deny he felt a little better getting it off his chest, but the ache was still there, and now all the other shit in his head was starting to get on his nerves.

She had tried to be kind and sympathetic at the party, and he'd thrown it back in her face. He didn't deserve it but she'd offered it, just like she always had, and he had shot her down like he was the wounded party. Her eyes were burning like stars in his mind's eye, the way she'd looked at him, still with the same empathy she'd always shown him, but distant in a way that had come about over the years through his absence. She'd been through hell since the last time they'd seen each other, and he'd sat at that damn party sniping at her like he was the only one who'd ever had something to be pissed about. Then to top it all off he'd gone barging round to her house poking his nose in where it didn't belong like some big shot. He was pissed as hell at himself, but as usual, it was too damn late and he was left with the aftermath gnawing away at him. _You're just gonna cause her more harm than good…she's got a family now, she don't need you nosing your way into her life. _

If only it were as simple as leaving again. He still couldn't shake the idea that her husband wasn't the standup guy people probably thought he was. His face flashed in Daryl's memory and he gripped his wrench even tighter at the image of his face when he'd handed over her sweater. How could she have picked a guy like that? He wasn't good enough for her. Hell, no one was good enough for her, not even Daryl. He had come close once, but he'd had his chance and he'd fucked it up.

The sound of an engine chugging past him barely registered until Daryl looked up and saw Dale's face as he realised who the person was. The car came to a halt just a few feet away and he immediately recognised the shrill squeal that emanated from the car window.

"Coo-ee, boys!"

Daryl hadn't been working at the garage long, but he knew that this woman had quite a reputation with Dale. Ever since his wife had died, she'd been hanging around trying to get him to notice. Dale said she was nice enough, but an utter gossip who spent more time concerned with everyone else's business instead of her own. Her big mouth almost matched her big ears, which were a source of entertainment for Daryl on more than one occasion. Dale joked that she could hear a twig snap in a hurricane and he believed him.

She was in the garage nearly every week to bring him something, whether it be fresh venison her son hunted or the latest news from the town. Today it looked like she had some baked goods in tow. Dale waved politely as she got out of the old jalopy she called a car and hobbled her way over to where he stood. Daryl figured that Dale was just too nice of a guy to ever give her the brush off, but in truth, it came down to money. She had a car that was more spare parts than not, but it had been her brother's and she refused to get a new one, so she was constantly needing repairs. When the damn thing did finally croak, he hoped that Dale would send her packing.

"Mrs. Richards, how are you today?" Dale said through gritted teeth. "Are those your famous macaroons?"

"That they are!" She batted her eyelids at him, oblivious to his discomfort. "Fresh out of the oven just for you!" She handed him the container. "And I've told y'all before, it's Ada you silly old goose!"

Daryl did his best to keep in the chuckle that was threatening to come loose, but as she sashayed her way towards the office, Dale threw him a look of utter torture. He hated those cookies, but she was so damn proud of them he never had the heart to tell her that the minute she left they went into the trash. Daryl had nearly broken a tooth on one and since then had stayed far away from anything she baked.

As soon as they went into the office and closed the door, Daryl went back to his work on the station wagon. Dale had commented on how he was blasting through his work today, but in truth it all came down to how much he had rolling around in his head. On days like today with random thoughts making noise in his brain, he liked to work on the tougher jobs that needed a lot of muscle. The more aggression involved the better. He'd been trying to loosen a rusty bolt from the carburetor for ten minutes now, but sadly the bolt was winning the battle. Daryl wiped at his head, which was dripping with sweat from the job, but quickly realized that he had grease all over him, defeating the purpose. Tossing down the wrench, he walked towards the office to grab his towel. The door was cracked open enough that he could hear the conversation going on inside.

"My friend Gladys lives on that street, and I heard her say that those two deputies-that lovely young man with the wife and son and the other ruggedly handsome one...what was his name again?"

"Shane."

"Oh yes! Well, they went barging into the house with an arrest warrant and they dragged Ed Peletier right out of there. Cussin' an' hollerin' in broad daylight no less. I don't know what the world's comin' to."

Daryl halted in his tracks and his towel fell out of his hands onto the floor at the mention of the name that came out of her mouth. He couldn't see Dale's expression from where he was standing, but the old man was quiet and Daryl could sense it was more than just being stuck for words; he could feel the tension in his silence. Before he could stop himself, Daryl charged into the office, obviously frightening Mrs. Richards as her hand flew up to her heart.

"Oh my goodness young man! It's polite to knock before you come barging in-"

"Did you say Ed Peletier? As in Carol Peletier?"

"Well, yes but-"

"Did I hear ya right? They arrested him?"

Mrs. Richards looked over at Dale, who was still standing on the side by his desk, frozen in place. "Dale, I'm not sure I'm real comfy discussin' this in front of-"

"Actually," Dale responded, walking around to where she stood and helping her up out of her chair, "I think it's about time we get back to work now Mrs. Rich- erm, Ada. Why don't I escort you out and we'll finish this conversation later?"

Daryl watched anxiously as Dale flashed him a look that told him not to move from his spot while he walked the old woman back out to the floor. Daryl could feel his blood beginning to boil at the notion that Ed might have done something to harm Carol or Sophia, especially after their tense encounter the other day. Suddenly, it occurred to him that maybe something had happened to them because of what he'd done. Daryl began to pace the floor, waiting for Dale's return. He needed answers, and he needed them now. Mrs Richards' car rumbled off down the yard and faded out of earshot.

"The hell was that all about?" Daryl demanded as Dale came back in and closed the door behind him.

"Okay before you kick off why don't we sit down and not do anything we might regret later?" Dale held his hands up in appeasement, trying to diffuse the situation.

"Like hell I'm sittin' down, not 'til I find out what's goin' on."

"Daryl I know as much as you do. As for why Ed was hauled off I have no idea. But I do know this…" He fixed Daryl with an insistent, almost parental look. "We're best off leaving well enough alone."

"They wouldn't just drag him outta the house!" Daryl's voice was slightly raised as his emotions simmered angrily. "If he's laid a damn finger on-"

"Daryl trust me, the last thing she needs is you marching round there and getting involved. You said yourself, things between you aren't exactly great right now, how is charging in there all guns blazing gonna help anything?"

Daryl huffed in defeat, knowing Dale was right. He was loath to admit it, but there was no way he could go round there and keep a level head. He wanted to knock Ed's teeth out of his head, regardless of whether he'd laid a finger on her or not, and he knew not being able to would only result in him stomping around like a raging bull. For the moment, at least, it seemed he was resigned to just stay out of it.

"Listen why don't you head home?" Dale eyed him expectantly. "Spend some time on the cabin? I can finish up here."

"Yeah I guess." Daryl huffed, his eyes dark and hooded, his expression bleak.

Dale sensed his dislike of the whole thing and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I know it's hard, but it's for the best. You're doing the right thing."

Daryl couldn't help feeling the exact opposite. The right thing didn't always feel right. As the late afternoon gave way to evening, he knew he would start to lose the fight between his head and heart.

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

The past couple of days she'd had a few episodes like this; it seemed to be her body's way of coping with the stress and shock, like a caged lab animal feeling grass under its feet for the first time. She had no awareness of where she was, or when for that matter. The trance she found herself locked inside seemed to span on for eternity, knowing no beginning or end. Her body temporarily went into idle mode, everything on the outside fading to a dull haze as she retreated into herself, where it was safe and she didn't have to worry if he came for her, or if he struck her. She had always done it in the midst of a particularly bad beating; went to that safety inside and waited for the storm to be over. Now the storm really was over, but she still lapsed into her sanctuary. It gave her comfort from what had already happened, and from what she feared could happen still.

"I'll have one if you're making some."

Carol spun around, the sound of Lori's voice in the kitchen doorway making her jump and drop the teaspoon, sending coffee granules scattering over the kitchen counter. She looked shamefaced as she realised what she'd done.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," Lori screwed up her face apologetically.

"No I'm sorry, I'm such a klutz right now." Carol grabbed a cloth and swept it over the counter hurriedly. "Every little noise is making me jump."

"Carol it's fine, just leave it." Lori watched her cautiously, the faraway glaze still not fully gone from her eyes.

"I got it, I can't believe I dropped-"

"Leave it," Lori beckoned insistently, holding out her hand. "Come with me for minute. I have something to show you."

Carol put down the cloth and looked at Lori curiously before taking her hand and following her to the living room. She sat down beside Lori on the couch, wincing as she tried to brush back a wayward curl that no longer existed. The side of her face and swollen eye were getting better every day but the slightest touch still sent a jolt of pain through her face, and she still hadn't gotten used to the loss of her hair. She could still feel her curls tickling her face and kept reaching for them. It was hard to know what to do with her hands if she got tense or nervous, now that there were no curls to wind around her fingers.

"I forgot I had this," Lori smiled, taking a slim, black box from the coffee table and sliding it into Carol's lap. "I've never really had it out of the box except to look at, but it was just too pretty to throw away."

"What is it?" Carol gave her a puzzled look.

"Open it and see," she laughed softly.

Carol ran her fingers over the ornate, embossed detailing on the lid of the box and lifted it off. There were layers of black tissue paper inside, and she peeled them back to reveal a striking orange coloured silk scarf. A soft gasp escaped her as her eyes soaked up the rich, warm colour. It really was beautiful, and her fingers were immediately drawn to the cool fabric.

"It's… gorgeous," Carol whispered, looking at her in amazement. "May I?"

"Of course," Lori smiled.

Carol lifted the delicate garment out of the box and held it up. It unfurled to reveal bursts of deep pink bleeding into the orange, like the most incredible sunset. She pulled the cool silk through her hand, loving the way the soft tassels that trimmed the edges slipped through her fingers lazily.

"You like it?" Lori grinned excitedly, nudging her softly with her elbow.

"It's beautiful Lori," Carol smiled back. "Why don't you ever wear it?"

"Ugh, it never suited me." Lori sighed. "Orange isn't my colour. It'll look a lot better on you."

"Me?" Carol's eyes widened in surprise.

"Yeah, I want you to have it."

Carol stared at the scarf in her fingers and despite her best efforts, felt herself choking on a deluge. Ed had never let her own anything this beautiful and perfect, never mind wear it. Now that she held it in her hands, she realised she held so much more too, and it hit her like a tsunami.

"Oh honey," Lori pulled her into a fierce embrace. "It's okay if you don't like it."

"No, I- I love it," she sobbed into Lori's hair. "I'm s-sorry…"

"Hey shhh," Lori soothed, rubbing her back. "Don't you ever be sorry. It's okay to cry y'know. It helps. Hell, sometimes I need a good cry once a month or I'd kill Rick."

Carol couldn't stop the giggle that burst through the tears and sat back to wipe her face with her palms. Lori smiled at her and passed her a tissue.

"That's better." Lori ran her thumb over Carol's cheek. "You have such a sweet smile, and I wanna see a lot more of it from now on alright?"

Carol nodded and dabbed at her eyes. "Alright."

"Now, I wanna see how amazing you look in this scarf…"

An insistent rap at the front door made both of them jump. Carol looked at Lori, eyes wide with terror. She had been foolish to imagine she was free of him for even a second, and now he had come for her.

"Relax, it's probably Gladys from next door. She calls round a lot." Lori stood up to go answer the door. She broke into a trot as the rapping resumed. "Alright, alright!"

Carol sat poised on the edge of the couch, her hands by her sides, ready to spring herself off to safety at the first hint of his voice. Her hearing latched on to every little sound; the door handle as Lori turned it, the shrill squeak of the hinges as she pulled it open. His voice never came though. Another voice filtered through instead; soft and rough at the same time, curling around her heart like it always had done, and she couldn't move.

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

"Hey… uh, Daryl… from the party?" he stuttered, well aware how much of a loser he sounded.

"Yes I remember," Lori replied curtly, arms folded across her chest as she leaned on the door frame. "What can I do for you?"

_What the hell is this chick's problem? _"Was lookin' for Carol but she ain't home, just wondered if ya knew where I could find her?"

Lori's expression softened at the mention of Carol's name but something in the brunette's eyes unnerved Daryl. "She's staying here for a few days."

"Has somethin' happened?" He felt his gut twist and knew he'd answered his own question. Something definitely didn't feel right.

"Now's not really a good time," she said, pulling the door closed a little behind her.

"Can I see her?"

"Look I appreciate your concern, really, but she's fine."

"So let me see her," Daryl insisted, getting more than a little irritated at this conversation.

"I already told you no," Lori said firmly. "She's not seeing anyone."

"Lori, it's okay, just let him in." A small voice called from inside, and Daryl knew right away from the quiet tone of it she wasn't okay.

Lori sighed in defeat and stepped aside, ushering him into the hallway and hurriedly shutting the door behind them. Daryl craned his neck into the kitchen where he expected she would be and found it empty. The sound of rustling paper from the living room drew his attention immediately and he made a beeline for it. As he burst into the living room a little too abruptly, he felt like he'd been kicked in the gut. The first thing he noticed was the hair. Her wild, auburn curls that had always been part of her were gone. She was now sporting the kind of cropped style that Merle usually favoured. He barely recognised the frail, painfully gaunt creature blinking up at him from the couch. Her face was drawn and pale, except for the dark stain on her right temple that covered her eye. The shock must have been written all over his face because she fidgeted and looked away almost shamefully.

"Carol are you sure-"

"It's fine Lori, I'll be okay," Carol looked up at her and tried to crack a reassuring smile.

"Right, well I'll be upstairs if you need me." Lori half smiled in reply then shot Daryl a warning glance as she disappeared, closing the door behind her.

Daryl watched her go then turned his attention back to Carol. He could feel the inevitable roiling in his stomach and the tightening of muscles in his arms. His jaw clenched unconsciously as he took in the broken woman hunched on the couch. It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened, and it burrowed under his skin like fibreglass. His blood boiled as his eyes wandered over her slender frame, wondering how anybody could ever put their fuckin' hands on her. The silence hung thickly in the air, the gulf between them growing wider with every second of quiet that passed.

"So, how'd you like the new look?" Carol broke the stalemate dryly.

Daryl stared at her, his words barely squeezing through the narrow gap in his clenched teeth. "That 'sposed to be funny?"

"Yeah, my sides are splitting," she muttered irritably. "What do you want Daryl?"

Her nonchalant tone did nothing for his mood. He was pissed enough at the state of her, but the fact she could just sit there as cool as a cucumber and pretend everything was just fine really poked the bear.

"When did this happen?" He asked hoarsely, the anger rasping in his throat.

"Does it matter?" Carol sighed. "It's done."

"It matters to me," he spat. "When?"

"Why does it matter?" she snapped, eyeing him with incredulity. "It happened to me, not you!"

"I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch," he snarled, starting to pace, his heart picking up in his chest as adrenaline started to course through his veins.

"Oh don't bother, Daryl," she rolled her eyes at his predictability. "It's done now."

"Like hell it is," he snorted. "If I get my hands on him he will be fuckin' done."

Carol snorted a little laugh to herself and avoided his eyes, choosing to look out the window instead, anywhere away from him. Daryl got the feeling he was the subject of her scorn and felt an unwelcome rush of blood to his cheeks.

"What?"

"Bit late to act like you care."

His eyes narrowed, glaring at her as she continued to avoid him. "The hell is that 'sposed to mean?"

"You, blowing steam out of your ears," she turned to meet his eyes again. "Am I supposed to be impressed?"

"Shit this ain't about impressin' nobody! I came to see if you were alright!"

"Yeah well you've seen so now you can go," she sniped.

"I ain't goin' nowhere," he growled.

"Well I have nothing more to say to you so you're wasting your time." Carol pushed herself off the couch irritably and turned her back on him, arms folded stubbornly.

"Yeah well I got plenty to say to you!"

He could tell she was starting to wind up now; the tension locked into her shoulders and the total radio silence created an atmosphere all of their own. He had to push her over the edge to have any hope of getting her on side again. It was like a red rag to a bull but it was worth a shot.

"I ain't movin' 'til you talk to me."

"I already told you I'm done talking," she snapped, spinning around, arm swinging in annoyance. "I don't know why you're even here, this has nothing to do with you, it's none of your business! "

Daryl closed the space between them in purposeful strides. "It's everythin' to do with me! Some walkin' shit stain puts his fuckin' hands on you then I'm makin' it my business."

"It's a bit late to start making me your business, Daryl. I've had broken bones and black eyes before, you weren't around for those and I survived just fine." Carol's voice was starting to fray, her temper straining on the end of a very worn tether.

"I'm here now," he groaned, feeling the odds piling up against him. "The past's done, I can't fuckin' change it."

"Oh so that's what this is really about, Daryl Dixon's guilty conscience! Well you know something, not everything's about you. You see, this is exactly what I don't need, I've had a shitty enough few days without having to deal with you beating your chest! My daughter is my number one concern, as long as she's safe then I don't care what happens to me."

"You don't care?" He growled at her, moving closer. "Have you fuckin' seen yourself? He coulda killed ya!"

"Have I seen myself?" Carol let out an disbelieving snort right in his face. "Of course I've fucking seen myself! I know he could've killed me, I was _there_! I was there when he grabbed me by the hair and trailed me up the stairs! I was there when he smacked me in the head and pinned me to the floor under his legs..!"

"Carol-"

The tears were glistening in her eyes now. "I was _there_ when he started hacking my hair off!" Her voice quivered as her breathing failed her and sobs threatened to break her. "I was there when I almost-"

Daryl made a move to pull her to him, but it was like trying to embrace a riled lioness. She pushed him away viciously, tears streaking down her cheeks, her wet eyes wild and defensive. He felt like an utter jackass now; he'd come round to apologise for being a dick at the party and now he was in the shit twice as deep. She was crying and all he wanted to do was comfort her. He'd been here before, and he remembered that look; it hadn't lost any of its potency.

"Oh just get out!" she sobbed.

"Carol pl-"

"I said GET OUT!"

Daryl flinched a little and his eyes clung to her, the same feeling settling in that he'd had watching her leave fifteen years ago, that he would do anything to undo his stupidity. But as always, it was too late. She turned away from him towards the window, cutting him off completely. The only sounds to perforate the silence were her sniffles and the sound of his own blood banging in his ears. Helplessness stabbed at his chest, knowing all he wanted to do was hold her until she stopped crying, but she didn't want him there. Nothing he could do or say would tame her right now. With nothing left to do, he turned and headed for the door, ripping it open and barging past a shellshocked Lori, storming outside to his truck.

As he got in and slammed the door, he smashed the steering wheel in white hot anger, the sides of his palms throbbing in agony. He didn't care. The pain barely registered beneath the choking ache flooding his body. Time seemed to float on regardless, and Daryl just sat there, his head swimming with what had just happened. His brain was in overload, screaming at him like feedback from a microphone. Part of it screamed at him to go back in and fix it, but the rest was numb, hopeless; there was nothing he could do.

Finally, he started the engine and headed for home.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: OMG are we all suitably flailing? A handsome redneck crying tears of joy and sweet lurrrve is too much for me to handle right now. This is it people. I can feel it!**

**Oh btw... here we are at Thursday AGAIN! Where the hell do my days go? Anyway, I hope you lot like this, you're like a pack of wolves by Wednesday night hehe! This chapter starts us on a lovely rolling momentum into some fluff, some heartbreak and some serious EEEEEEP moments. Special mention tonight for my besto _kaoscraze. _We were up late last night throwing ideas at each other and managed to break some serious obstacles down for later chapters so this one is for you my wee cupcake!**

**Also thanks to you awesome bunch on Nine Lives for having me as Featured Story of the Week. Defo wasn't expecting that but thank you!**

**Disclaimer: All characters property of Kirkman and co. No copyright intended. Aye. **

Chapter 16

She'd forgotten all about the parent teacher conference; nobody could have blamed her with everything that had been going on, but she'd still felt a flush of guilt when Sophia had looked up at her expectantly, all ready to go. Leaving the house was still a daunting prospect, despite a few days having passed since she'd moved back into her own house and tried to resume some kind of warped normality. The farthest she'd been was the store for some bare essentials, but even that made her feel she was on display like some animal at the zoo. Every accidental glance in her direction put her on edge, her brain telling her that they were staring, that they _knew. _It was a small town, and she knew that gossip like this would be like honey to the busy little bees on every street corner and across every garden fence.

The conference had been uncomfortable. Sitting there alone for the first time without Ed, tongues must have been wagging. She felt like the elephant in the room; everybody in this town knew each other's business, and no doubt they knew hers too. Her bruising was almost completely gone, and Lori had helped her cover the last remaining traces with some make up so she knew outwardly there was nothing that could betray her privacy, but she couldn't help feeling their eyes on her. When Miss Mackenzie asked her to stay behind for a few minutes, however, her stomach hit the floor. She'd been concerned about Sophia for a few weeks, finding her crying at recess and her grades slipping. Carol had insisted that everything was fine now and had left in a hurry, trying to salvage what shreds of dignity she had left. She'd known Sophia was upset but she hadn't realised she'd been like this for weeks. Now she felt worse, the guilt growing even heavier for something she was increasingly convinced was her own fault. The thought of her baby breaking her heart crying in school because she was too damn scared to ask for help leaving Ed made her feel sick.

As she drove home Carol decided to take a different route to avoid the evening traffic. She took the quiet back road that led back around town and eventually over and around the hill that overlooked Senoia. It would take a little longer, but she didn't feel like going home just yet; all she wanted to do was drive until she ran out of road. She didn't know why, but driving seemed like an escape from the drama. It was a sort of safe limbo, where nothing could get her.

"Mama are you alright?"

Sophia's small voice broke through the fog in Carol's mind, dragging her back to the present and the road in front of her.

"Yeah sweetie, I'm okay." She smiled. "You?"

"I'm okay," Sophia hummed.

Carol glanced at her thoughtfully. She was still quiet; she hadn't really been the same since it all happened and Carol was starting to get worried.

"Oh sweetie, I know it's been hard these last few weeks… but everything's gonna be okay."

"You promise?"

"I promise," Carol smiled. "You don't have to be scared anymore."

"I'm not." Sophia reassured her. "I know who is scared though…"

Carol threw her a curious look. "Who?"

"Carl," she giggled.

"Oh good lord that boy… how did he wind up with detention twice in one week?"

"He put superglue on Miss Mackenzie's chair."

Sophia laughed for what felt like the first time in months, and Carol felt like she could burst with joy. She was glad Sophia had a friend in Carl; they had been friends since kindergarten, and as they got older she couldn't help feeling like she was watching a movie reel of her childhood. Some of the similarities made her smile like an idiot. Sophia would probably deny it flat out, but Carol had walked that path before and could see what was coming. Sophia was starting to blossom, and Carl's antics at school - no doubt to impress her - and little glances in her direction when she wasn't looking hadn't escaped Carol's notice. It made her heart flutter oddly; partly because she remembered a time when someone looked at her that way, and because she knew what came after. The heartbreak she'd suffered was something she didn't want for Sophia. She'd had enough of that in her life already. All she could hope was that it turned out differently for her daughter.

Her thoughts drifted to Daryl as Sophia's chattering faded to a distant hum. She hadn't seen him since he'd come round to Lori's, and while part of her was glad, she felt a slight pang of disappointment laced with guilt. She'd been scathing and vicious, making out like he'd only come around to satisfy his own ego, and at the time it seemed to be the truth. Now she'd had a few days to calm down, all she could think about was how she could have been wrong, and how horrible she'd been to him. It had all just come rushing out of her like a dam bursting, and he'd caught the full force of the tidal wave.

It was all too much for her brain to deal with. For so long she had led a robotic, pre-programmed life, the same things day in, day out, always the same monotonous routine. Now she felt like a tornado had ripped her off the ground and she was whirling at a dizzying speed, unable to focus or grab onto anything solid or familiar, unable to find her bearings. The more she tried, the faster the winds blew her, making her head spin. Nothing was certain, and that frightened her. Not knowing what tomorrow might bring was almost as terrifying as living with the man she'd married. Her knee jerk reaction to emotion right now was to lash out like a frightened animal that had been kicked one too many times.

The clouds dissipated and she was seeing clearly again, the road coming back into sharp focus just quickly enough that she saw the brown flash, and her heart almost stopped as a deer sprang across her path. An involuntary gasp left her as she yanked on the steering wheel and the car swung sharply to the right, veering off the road in a rain of screeching brakes and Sophia's frightened yelping. Carol braked hard and the car skidded to a noisy halt just inches from a tree. It was over in an instant, but the two of them sat motionless, breath frozen in their lungs. Her heart was hammering on her chest wall, the blood banging in her ears with sheer panic. Carol turned to Sophia, sitting wide eyed and stunned, fingers riveted into the sides of her seat.

"Baby," she choked, trying to pry her trembling fingers out of the seat cushion. "Oh god are you alright?"

"I-I think so," Sophia breathed shakily. "Are you?"

"I'm alright, are you hurt?" She frantically scanned her daughter for injuries.

"No I'm fine, Mama."

"I didn't even see it, it just… came out of nowhere." Carol panted, her heart still racing.

"Are you sure you're alright? You didn't bump your head or anything?"

"I don't think so," Sophia answered, her voice barely a whisper. "I feel okay."

Carol undid her seatbelt and leaned across, pulling Sophia tightly to her, thankful that God had kept them safe. She dropped a kiss on her sandy hair and slid back over, pulling the handle on the door and hauling herself out of the driver's side.

There wasn't any damage to the car that she could see, although it had left some pretty obvious skid marks on the road and dug deep gouges in the soft grassy verge. They had been very lucky to miss that tree. Someone was definitely watching over them. The deer was nowhere to be seen.

Carol went back around the driver's side and got in. She pulled her seatbelt on and turned the key in the ignition, which yielded only an ominous stuttering cough. She tried again and still nothing. Whatever was wrong, it didn't sound good at all.

"Oh, shoot." Carol tutted, as she tried a third time to coax some life into the car.

"What's wrong, why isn't it starting?" Sophia asked quietly.

"I don't know sweetie," she sighed, trying again.

The rumble of an engine approaching ignited a spark of relief inside her. Her head shot up and she saw a pickup approaching in her mirror. She got out quickly to flag it down, relieved that someone had spotted them and was stopping, until she realised who was driving. Suddenly, the guilt was back, on top of everything else, and she had to bite her lip to keep it all together.

He got out of the pickup and heaved the door shut, making his way towards them in urgent strides, his features tense and concerned. Carol felt a blush painting her cheek as he approached, suddenly embarrassed as she remembered their last meeting.

"Carol? Y'alright, what the hell happened?"

"We're fine," she insisted, her eyes flitting about nervously, unable to meet his. "We just had a little skid, that's all."

"Little?" Daryl surveyed the long, deep grooves carved into the grass. "Looks like ya were damn lucky to miss the tree, what happened?" His eyes scanned her for obvious injuries.

"A deer, I-I didn't see it until it was right in front of us. Honestly, we're fine."

Daryl stooped down and leaned in the driver's window. "Hey kid, y'alright?"

Sophia nodded, her startled expression attesting otherwise.

"Are ya okay to drive home?" Daryl turned his attention back to Carol.

"It won't start," she mumbled. "I don't know what's wrong with it."

"Lemme take a look."

Daryl popped the hood of the car and leaned on the chassis. Carol's eyes wandered as he inspected the engine. He was wearing a sleeveless shirt, the shoulders frayed where he'd clearly ripped the sleeves off, showing off strong, well muscled arms that bulged as he leaned down to take a closer look. A glimpse of his flat stomach voided her brain of all rational thought as his shirt rode up slightly. A long red rag swung from his back pocket, drawing her attention to his backside and made her cheeks burn fiercely. She pulled herself back to reality.

"Nothin' that I can see under here," Daryl squinted at the machinery underneath him and made his way around to the driver's side.

Sophia looked like a startled rabbit as he swung himself into the driver seat and tried to start the car. It stuttered and coughed pitifully as he tried repeatedly to pump some life into it. Daryl huffed in defeat and hauled himself out of the car, heaving the door shut.

Carol didn't like the feeling she was getting.

"Looks like I'm gonna have to tow ya back," Daryl rubbed the back of his neck. "I'll take a look and get her back to ya first thing."

"Can't you fix it here?" Carol screwed her face up, not relishing the thought of having to sit in the same space as him.

Daryl looked at her in confusion. "I dunno how long it's gonna take to fix… and besides, looks like we're gonna get some weather."

Carol looked up and saw he was right; she hadn't noticed there was a storm brewing and she didn't want to be caught in it with a busted car. She knew she was being silly, but she couldn't ignore the feeling in her gut that wanted to bolt in the other direction away from him, away from more questions, more humiliation. Especially with Sophia there, the thought of anything arising in front of her made Carol feel sick.

"It's just a ride home," he read her mind, his voice low so Sophia wouldn't hear. "I won't start nothin', promise."

Carol sighed, knowing she didn't really have a choice in the matter. This was going to happen whether she liked it or not, so she'd have to suck it up. "Okay, thank you."

As she went around to the passenger side of the car to collect Sophia, she could feel his eyes following her and tried to will away the blush threatening to paint her face.

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOXOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

The interior of Daryl's truck was battered looking and dusty, like he'd been out driving the back roads with the windows right down. It smelt of dirt and oil, and for some reason she couldn't pinpoint, that smell comforted her. Her car - which was Ed's really - was always kept pristine and smelt like a car showroom. Heaven forbid anyone who left a smudge on the window or dropped a crumb in the back seat. For all he was a lazy pig around the house, he'd always been strict about his car, and even though he was locked up for the moment, Carol felt like it would only be a matter of time before he came back to lay claim to what was rightfully his. She still couldn't allow herself to become complacent and let it get grubby. Daryl's truck was warm, and welcoming, and despite her initial reluctance to get in, she couldn't ignore the tension easing from her shoulders as they drove along with Ed's car hooked up to the rear. The beaten up seats patched up with duct tape felt a lot better to sit in than the stiff leather in the Suburban.

The storm hadn't materialised and the clouds were starting to break, the daylight beginning to fade. It was still eerily calm, and Daryl must have sensed the atmosphere in the truck; the silence was uncomfortably deafening.

"Hey kid, see that dial right there?" Daryl pointed at the console. "Switches the radio on, but I can't get a decent signal. Think ya could mess around with it?"

Sophia looked at him sheepishly then at Carol. She was never allowed to mess around with things in her father's car.

"It's okay, go ahead." Carol gave her a little nudge.

Sophia leaned forward and turned the dial, instantly reeling back as a sharp static squeal ripped out of the speakers. She quickly fiddled with the dial and after a lot of hissing and more squeals, she finally settled on a country station.

"Nice. Good job." Daryl grunted his appreciation and leaned one elbow on the window, chewing one of his fingernails, humming along to Johnny Cash.

Carol looked on in amusement as Sophia stared at him and Daryl realised he had caught the girl's attention. "What?"

"Nothing," Sophia tittered, smiling back at Carol.

"Hey, don't be laughin' at my hummin'." Daryl threw her a glance of mock disapproval. "Could be a lot worse, y'all don't wanna hear my singin'."

"Is it that bad?" Sophia smiled, her own uneasiness suddenly forgotten.

"Worse," Daryl snorted. "I save it for special occasions though, so _you're_ safe. For now."

Carol felt herself staring again; the warmth in his eyes drawing her like a moth to a flame. The way he looked at Sophia, and the way she laughed like she was sitting having a conversation with Carl made her smile without realising it. Daryl's eyes met hers and with that heat directed right at her now she felt like she was sitting next to a fire. Warmth rushed to her cheeks and she diverted her eyes quickly.

"So where do you live?" Sophia asked him.

"Sophia…" Carol scolded.

"She's alright," Daryl said. "I got a cabin on the far side of town. Been in my family for years, my granddaddy built it with his own two hands."

"That's so cool!" Sophia cooed.

"S'in the middle of the woods, trees all around it. Never liked it much as a kid but I 'spose I got it all to myself now so it's kinda cool." Daryl shrugged and half smiled at Sophia, obviously amused at her fascination and clearly proud.

"Do you ever see any squirrels?" Sophia asked.

"Yeah, rabbits too. Deer… bears."

"No way! Bears?"

Carol looked at him dubiously and he caught on. "What?"

"Bears?" She raised an eyebrow, the tiniest smirk tugging the corners of her mouth.

"I swear to God I saw a bear." Daryl smiled. "First night I was here, took the trash out and there was this bear clawin' at the tree. Thought I was seein' things but I checked the next mornin', big scratches on the tree."

"You're making that up!" Sophia teased. "You didn't see a bear."

Carol tried her best to remain stony faced but she couldn't fight the smile as the sound of his gravelly smirking filled her ears again and started melting the ice around her heart. As she looked around she realised Sophia was giggling like a ninny. Giggling at practically nothing, but giggling none the less. Daryl's eyes flickered towards her in amusement; there was that look again, and this time the pull felt even stronger. His eyes were faceted like diamonds, the setting sun catching all the little flecks of colour as he turned his attention back to the road. He really was exceptionally beautiful, despite the oil stains on his shirt and pants, despite his hair clinging to his neck with sweat. When Ed perspired it made her want to vomit but for some reason Daryl wore it like an accessory and it _did _something to her. Everything about him was rough and unpolished, and she was only kidding herself trying to pretend that she didn't still find it attractive after all these years and despite everything that she'd sworn to herself. Realising that yet again she was staring at him, she forced herself to look out of the window at the road as it rushed past.

Sophia and Daryl spent the remainder of the journey bantering and joking as Carol listened quietly. When they finally pulled into Carol's street, she felt the usual sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, before her brain kicked into gear and remembered that Ed was still in custody. It would take a while for his grip over her to lessen, but it was getting slowly better.

The truck purred to a halt outside her house and suddenly the awkwardness that had disappeared as soon as Sophia put the radio on was back. She knew he was looking at her but she couldn't help but fidget in her seat, organising her purse and clicking her seatbelt off. Words deserted her as her cheeks started to flush.

"Well, thanks for the ride home," she managed, her eyes meeting his briefly as her hand found the door handle. "What do you say Sophia?"

"Thanks Daryl," she smiled up at him.

"Hey don't mention it, couldn't leave two knockouts like you stranded out in the sticks," he winked at her.

Carol found herself fighting another tiny smile and looked away, pulling on the handle and screwing up her face as it just creaked in objection.

"Oh, door's busted, lemme get it for ya."

Carol waited as Daryl climbed out of the driver's side and made his way round to her door. He yanked hard on the handle and Carol's door swung open with a loud creak. She looked up and got caught up in those eyes again. Why couldn't she escape them? Every time she looked around he seemed to have them fixed on her. She diverted her gaze to the ground as she eased herself out of the truck, and in her flustered attempt to get away from him, her foot caught on the carpet mat on the floor and sent her sprawling forward with a gasp

Carol waited for the ground to come up and smack her in the face and instead felt herself being caught by two strong arms. Her face was buried in his chest, her nose crushed up against him and all of a sudden closer than she'd been to him in a long time.

"Whoa, easy! Y'alright?"

Carol managed to get her feet planted firmly on the ground, but her head was in the clouds. Her skin sizzled at the touch of his rough hands, gripping her firmly as she tried to steady herself. She tried to ignore the little flutter in her heart as she finally met his eyes.

"I'm fine, thank you." She cleared her throat, steadying herself and pulling away from him as she turned to help Sophia out, ignoring her daughter's mischievous grin.

"I'll take a look and bring 'er back tomorrow," Daryl nodded to her. "Noon alright?"

"Yeah thanks, that'll be fine." She managed a little smile and ushered Sophia past him up the path. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye Daryl, thanks!" Sophia turned and beamed at him.

"No worries, kid." He nodded back, his eyes flitting to Carol.

The corners of her mouth pulled slightly, before she turned and walked the rest of the way up the path to the front door. As she put the key in the lock she could feel Sophia grinning up at her like she knew too much, and Daryl's eyes burning into her back like he did too.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Are you excited?! As excited as me?! The new promo... that look... oh guys it's happening. Bugger trying to keep a lid on my emotions - GIVE ME ALLLLL THE THINGS! Is it Sunday yet?**

**Anyway, yes. Here you go. You lot are busting my ass (in the sense that I'm now only a few chapters ahead. Stop reading so fast and being Thursday again so fast!) I love you all though. Your reviews continue to make me smile stupidly... and right now it makes a change from the odd look of mayhem I'm wearing in preparation for Sunday. Caryl on you gorgeous b*stards.**

**Disclaimer: TWD and it's characters are property of Kirkman and co. I'm just taking them for a spin. Can't promise I'll have them back by midnight...**

Chapter 17

Daryl had been up since dawn, after a night spent mostly staring at the ceiling, tossing and turning in his bed. The relentless humidity aside, he couldn't get his mind to shut down. When he'd seen the skid marks veering into the grassy verge at the roadside he'd stopped to help whatever poor bastard had gone off the road, and then he'd seen her standing there looking lost and afraid. A panic had crept up his throat, and despite the fact Carol and Sophia were both safe, he couldn't shake it off. The feeling that had seized his chest at that moment was keeping him awake now. It made him uneasy, and he knew he should try to put it to the back of his mind but he couldn't. He'd spent his whole life not feeling anything, it was easier that way; he couldn't let anyone down. Still it wouldn't leave him alone. He'd lay in bed, arms tucked behind his head, mind wandering, replaying every moment of their encounter in his head. Sophia had been chattering away in his ear, but he hadn't been able to stop his eyes wandering to Carol.

She'd seemed so far away, eyes absorbing the road as it rushed towards them. Then she'd turned to look at him and he'd seen a fleeting spark of the fire that used to burn in her eyes, before something had caught it and put it out again. It was unsettling, like the girl he'd once known was still in there, trapped in a shell, unsure of how to come out again. She was Carol, but she wasn't the Carol he remembered… _his _Carol. It gnawed away at him, guilt and sadness in equal parts. What that bastard Peletier had done to her had obviously left her guarded and afraid, but he could see the years married to him had worn her down. Even now, with him behind bars, she was still under his boot, and it made Daryl's blood boil.

He'd towed the car back to Dale's and set to work repairing it. It had been a problem with the starter motor, and the repair had taken him a fair while; he was still there when the last rays of sunlight dipped below the horizon and the sky began to fade to darkness. Eventually he'd fixed it and towed the car back to the cabin to save him an extra journey in the morning; he could just take it on his way to work.

Daryl had eventually given in and got up out of bed, got dressed and wasted as much time as he could bear. He'd avoided breakfast, his stomach feeling slightly unsettled partly down to a night void of sleep and partly at the thought of seeing her again. He still felt like an ass about the argument they'd had in Lori's and it wouldn't leave him alone. He made a mental note to apologise and finally he left the house, setting off for Carol's.

It was a humid morning, promising to be another hot day. The bright blue sky had only a few soft clouds in it, and a warm breeze blew in the window of the pickup as he drove along with one arm leaning on the door. Daryl tried to plan out his apology in his head, but every time he thought about it he cringed. Every idea that came into his head he considered briefly before scratching it out. None of them felt like they were good enough. Daryl didn't have much experience apologising; he never got much of a chance when his old man was around, and since then he'd been mostly on his own. It was a relatively new concept to him, and as opposed to feeling like he had to, he _wanted_ to.

Daryl pulled up outside Carol's house and killed the engine. He sat for a moment and just stared at the house. He couldn't understand why he felt so nervous, like he was going to get the results of some stupid test. If the test had been fixing the car then he knew he'd passed with flying colours, but it felt bigger than that. Suddenly he wished he had spent more time on the car; he'd fixed it as quickly as he could, but now here he was dropping it back to her, and she would have no further reason to see him. He kept having to remind himself she wasn't the same person anymore; he'd been an idiot to think he could just hang around randomly, that things would just go back to how they always had been. Things had changed, and the best he could hope for was a polite gesture of thanks and a door shut in his face. He puffed out his cheeks and released an exasperated breath, before finally getting out and heaving his door shut.

Daryl freed Carol's car from the pickup, deliberately taking his time to postpone the awkwardness he feared waited behind the door. Leaning against the truck he eyed the house cautiously for a few moments, before taking long strides up the garden path. He knocked reservedly and stepped back, his eyes falling to the ground as he waited. When no one answered he knocked again with more urgency. He barely heard the soft footsteps approaching. The door swung open and Daryl looked up to find Carol in her bathrobe, her cropped hair slightly dishevelled and damp, towel in hand. Her wet skin glistened in the morning glow, and her flustered expression made his brain go on vacation.

"Uh, shit. Sorry, is this a bad time?" Daryl stuttered, the sight taking him by surprise a little more than it should have.

"Um, well I was- I'm just getting ready to take Sophia to school," she stuttered, pulling her robe around herself, like she was afraid someone might rip it away.

"Right," he replied, not quite sure what to say next, before remembering why he was there. "Yeah, the car. I know we said noon but s'all done."

"Already?"

"Yep," Daryl fished the keys out of his pocket and handed them to her.

"Thanks." Carol took the keys from him and gave a look over his head to make sure nobody was around. "I'm not exactly together here yet but if you'd like to come in and wait?"

"Yeah, no worries."

Carol stepped aside to let him in. He brushed past her into the hallway, the sweet fragrance of whatever she'd used in the shower hanging in the air and filtering through his nostrils. As the door closed softly behind him he found himself stealing another glance at her. That goddamn messy hair was starting to make him sweat.

"So what was wrong with it?"

Words ran away from him as a droplet of water ran down the side of her face and fell onto her collarbone, balancing precariously for a moment before trickling a path down her chest and disappearing into the valley of her hidden cleavage. His mouth was suddenly very dry and he hoped she hadn't noticed the burn in his cheeks.

"Daryl?"

"Hmm?" He came back to planet earth, instantly hating himself for being such a pervert. "Uh, yeah. It was the starter. Took a while to figure out what the hell was wrong with it but I got there in the end."

"Right… thank you," she attempted a smile, more out of politeness than anything else. "Um, I'll just be a minute if you want to wait here. Make yourself at home, there's coffee in the kitchen, you can help yourself."

Daryl nodded in acknowledgement as she headed upstairs, her toned calves peeking out from beneath her robe and her footsteps quick and light on the stairs. She disappeared out of sight followed by the clicking of her bedroom door.

He hovered in the hallway, taking in the plain décor. It was nothing like Rick and Lori's; no photos on the walls, nothing that indicated this was a happy family home. Everything was bare and austere, void of any emotion. It reminded him of the cabin when he'd first come back. He knew what kinda guy Ed Peletier was now. He was his goddamn father. Daryl wasn't sure when he'd started clenching his jaw, but if it hadn't been for Sophia coming downstairs he might have broken his teeth.

"Oh hey Daryl!" She grinned up at him as she made her way past into the kitchen.

"Hey kid," he smirked back, her constant cheeriness a source of amusement to him as always. "How ya doin'?"

"I'm okay," she hummed, grabbing a bowl and pouring a mountain of cereal into it. "Mama says she'll be downstairs in a minute."

He nodded and watched her in silent awe as she planted herself at the kitchen table and shovelled huge spoonfuls of cereal into her mouth whilst reading from some sort of journal. He'd never seen any kid eat so much, it was like she'd never been fed. She didn't seem bothered by his presence, her attention totally invested in the journal she was reading. As he took a few steps forward into the doorway of the kitchen, he could see there were several books spread on the table, clearly left from the day before like she'd been working on something.

"Whatcha readin'?" Daryl leaned on the doorframe.

"Oh it's this dumb science project for class," Sophia huffed through a mouthful of cereal. "I can't think of anything to do mine on. I've been looking at books from the library but I can't see anything good."

Daryl's inner child itched for a closer look. He loved solving problems when he was younger and it still filled him with immense satisfaction now. Anything that was remotely creative made him want to get his hands dirty.

"Mind if I have a look?" He motioned to the journal and Sophia nodded in defeat.

Daryl pulled up a seat at the table and turned one of the books towards him. "What's this project about?"

"Survival in the wilderness," Sophia sighed. "We're supposed to make something that we could use to survive if we got stranded out in the middle of nowhere. It's so pointless."

"Ain't nothin' pointless 'bout survival. Ya never know, could get lost in the woods like I did when I was a kid. I was wanderin' around for days, didn't have a damn clue where I was."

His eyes narrowed as he scanned the first page, finding nothing and flicking past a few before something caught his eye and switched on a light bulb in his head.

"Sweet, man. Hey look at this," Daryl turned the book so Sophia could see. "Betcha could make one of those."

"A compass?" Sophia raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, a compass. Wouldn't be that hard to make, either. You would only need a couple things to throw one together. I used to make 'em all the time when I was a kid."

"Then how did you get lost?" Sophia looked at him with a puzzle expression.

"I made 'em after I got lost, smarty pants."

Sophia stifled a bashful giggle. "I don't know, wouldn't it be kinda… boring? I mean how much can I write about a compass?" Sophia leaned her face on one hand, fixing him with a desperate stare, like this project was making her lose the will to live.

"I thought ya just had to make somethin'?"

"Well yes I need to make something but we've to give a report on it too."

"Hey ya can write plenty about a compass," Daryl insisted. "People used to use these things all the time, like way before GPS was invented, and before that they used the stars to navigate. Maybe ya could throw in a bit about different types of navigation stuff? See? Ain't quite as borin' as it seems is it?"

Sophia smiled at him and returned her gaze to the book, her expression dropping painfully again.

"Now what?" Daryl sighed.

"I still have to do it all," she mewled, her face screwed up in dread. "It's gonna take forever."

"When's it due in?"

"Two weeks."

Daryl looked at her freckly face all miserably contorted and felt a pang of sympathy. The poor kid probably never had help with this kind of stuff from her father, and it wasn't the sort of thing he expected Carol to be much help with; she'd never been very handy when they'd been kids. He hadn't stuck around long at school so he never needed help with homework, but he knew what it felt like to be on his own. The kid was trying though, despite quite clearly hating it. Despite the shit she'd had going on, she was trying to get on with it, and he admired that.

"Tell ya what, if it's okay with your mom, I'll help ya out," Daryl nudged her elbow. "Two weeks is tons of time, we'll have it done long before then. Your teacher wants a report, we'll give her one, how's that sound?"

"Oh that would be awesome!" Sophia grinned wildly, her face suddenly lit up in excitement.

"Sweet," Daryl laughed. "Everyone else is gonna look lame as hell."

"Thanks Daryl!" Sophia pushed her seat back and for a moment Daryl reeled, fearing a hug was imminent. "Be right back, I left my bag upstairs."

Relief washed over him as Sophia trotted past and thundered upstairs. He snorted quietly to himself; that kid was starting to grow on him. Despite everything she'd been through she still had a crazy smile plastered on her face, and he found it funny. Daryl guessed he found her a little crazy too, and he didn't have to look far to remember someone who'd been not all that different.

Carol swept into the kitchen, a little surprised to see Daryl at the table but trying not to make it obvious. She ran a hand through her cropped hair nervously and managed a faint smile as she went for the kettle. Daryl scraped his chair back and stood up, hovering awkwardly and feeling very out of place. There were those damn nerves again.

"Sorry I took so long," she apologised, glancing briefly at him. "I didn't realise it was quite so late."

"S'alright," he insisted. "Sophia kept me company."

"Yeah, she does that well. She's like a Chatty Cathy doll."

"She's a sweet kid."

Carol smiled in thanks and really looked at him for the first time without any awkwardness. Her eyes brimmed over with warmth at the mention of Sophia and it was clear to Daryl that she was probably the only thing good in Carol's life. Something strange was stirring inside him, making him both uncomfortable yet determined, like some resolution had just been affirmed in his mind that he was as yet unaware of.

"Anyway, let me settle up with you," Carol diverted her eyes, reaching for her purse.

Daryl threw her a bemused look. "For what?"

"For the car," Carol stated the obvious.

"Oh hey, we're good," Daryl dismissed her with a shake of his head.

"Oh no, please, I can't let you do that. Just tell me how much I owe you."

"Told ya, it's fine," Daryl repeated.

Carol thrust a wad of bills out towards him. "Daryl, I really need to-" .

"Stop," he objected, pushing her hand away.

He instantly regretted it, the look of remorse on her face and the slight flinch as he pushed her hand away making him feel bad. She was trying to do the right thing, but it didn't feel right accepting money from her, not after everything he'd put her through.

"Shit, m'sorry." Daryl sighed. "Look, I can't take your money. Ain't right, after… y'know."

She avoided his eyes as she croaked her last attempt at persuasion. "I'd feel a lot better if you just took it."

"I can't. Just keep it, s'the least I can do after I was such an asshole to ya at Lori's." She looked up at him, slightly surprised by the peace offering. "I know it ain't anywhere near what ya deserve, but it's a start."

The words spilled out of Daryl's mouth before he could think about it, but he realised it was ten times better than anything he'd thought of on the way over in the car. Carol's eyes softened at the admission, and she seemed to accept his sincerity. She put the money on the counter and turned her eyes back to him, the air suddenly growing thick again as they shared the silence. They were locked in an awkward staring contest. Neither seemed to know what to say or do. It had been so long since they'd actually had a conversation, just the two of them; it was like they'd forgotten how to be in each other's company, how they were supposed to fit. He wanted to say more, but he sensed she wanted to speak.

"It's fine, really."

"Nah, it ain't. I behaved like an asshole. Truth is when I came round it was to apologise for already being an asshole at the party."

"It's alright, honestly. We both said things. I've wanted to say sorry too, I wasn't feeling great when you came around and I lost my temper. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"Yeah but I didn't exactly help."

"We both just got a little wound up." Carol shrugged. "If it makes you feel any better, it's all forgotten now."

"Right," he nodded, eyes flitting over her uncertainly.

"What?" Carol searched his eyes for whatever he was holding back.

Daryl thought hard about what he was about to say. Did he really want to open that can of worms? Drag up the past and rip it off like a band aid? She had forgotten about the incident at Lori's but he knew she sure as hell hadn't forgotten about all the rest. That couldn't just be waved away and he feared biting the bullet and bringing it up would only end in another argument and put him right back to square one. He would need to tread carefully, and so far she hadn't kicked his ass out the door so he figured that it would be a good idea not to mention anything else. She was giving him a way out by dismissing it all as forgotten, and he realised he'd be stupid not to take it.

"Nothin', I'm good."

Carol looked at him curiously and he was glad when Sophia clumped back downstairs and skipped into the kitchen to save him.

"Hey mama, guess what? Daryl said he would help me with my project," she grinned madly.

"Oh sweetie, I can help you with that," Carol coaxed. "I'm sure Daryl's far too busy to be messing around with science projects."

"Nah, I got time." Daryl nodded at Sophia. "We're gonna make everybody else look lame as hell, right kid?"

"I appreciate you offering, but you've already done so much. I couldn't ask you to-"

"Ya ain't askin', I offered." Daryl argued. "Besides, I know a lot about this stuff, and ya want her to get a good grade, right?"

"Right," Carol sighed in defeat. "Okay well if you're going to be over here then I'm going to at least feed you."

"Nah, don't worry 'bout-"

"No 'but's." Carol interrupted. "If you're helping Sophia then you'll stay for dinner. I won't take no for an answer."

Sophia's intent stare of anticipation and Carol's adamant tone had battered him into submission. How hard could it be anyway? Couple of nights messing around with compasses like a kid and having dinner with them wouldn't be all that bad. He could do this no sweat. Daryl tried to convince himself, but for some reason he felt like he'd just signed his soul over to the devil as he replied. This was gonna be interesting if nothing else.

"Alright, guess I could live with that."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Well how about that? I don't know about you lot, but I just CAN'T shake the feelings from that hug on Sunday. I cried like a stupid big baby and had to rewatch it x5,000,000. It's inspired so many great fics among all you talented bunch though so yay! And it's well and truly kickstarted my writing mojo so double yay for that. **

**Anyway loves, here we are at chapter 18. Just a little over half way in this yarn and getting fired right in as we say in Bonnie Scotland ;) so I'll leave it with you. Big thank you as always to my loyal band of readers and reviewers, you guys seriously make Thursday the best day of the week for me. You're all awesome. Especially big thanks to my besties kaoscraze and allidon. You two rock my socks. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own TWD or any of its characters, sadly. But after Sunday two of them definitely own me.**

Chapter 18

Carol sat at the kitchen table, cradling a cup of coffee. It had been cold for a while, and she'd barely taken a sip. She'd poured it and sat at the table, but her stomach was churning and the thought of drinking it made her feel worse.

She'd woken this morning and it had been the first thought in her mind. Daryl would be here tonight, in her house, at her table, and there would be nowhere she could hide. It had preyed on her mind for days; the thought of sharing a meal with him made her nervous, and when she added Sophia into the equation it was enough to make her want to hide in bed all day. Her baby girl was far too observant and candid for her own good sometimes, and she could only hope that they would have lots to talk about concerning Sophia's project. Anything to avoid any awkward silence. She was having a hard enough time dealing with him being back in her life, but this was a little too close for comfort. It was her own fault; she had invited him, but after he refused payment for repairing the car and then offered to help Sophia, she felt obliged to give something back.

The house was already tidy but she found herself going back over everything, as if it hadn't been done properly. The time dragged by until it was time to pick Sophia up from school; every minute felt like an hour. When she was in the house alone, her mind worked overtime, all the problems in her mind niggling away loudly until she couldn't stand the noise anymore. Even though Ed was gone and not coming back anytime soon unless he made bail, the few hours that she spent alone when Sophia went to school were always uncomfortable. She had too much time on her hands, and when she had cleaned the house there was very little else to do except think.

Her imagination ran away with her sometimes and she would swear she could hear him grunt or cough. The thoughts were fleeting though and she quickly brushed them off, reminding herself he was locked up and scolded herself for being silly. She had more pressing matters to worry about right now, like how she was going to get through a whole evening with Daryl. She still had to think about what she was going to cook. Options had been running through her mind all day but she was still undecided. She felt totally out of her depth; cooking for someone other than Ed was unchartered territory for her and she had no idea where to start.

She eventually left the house, glad to be out for a while and just get some air.

The clouds were beginning to grumble as yet another summer storm threatened, and as she drove to school the first light spits of rain began to pepper the windshield. As she pulled up at the school Sophia was waiting for her.

"Hey baby," she smiled as Sophia sank into the seat next to her and pulled the door shut.

"Hey Mama," she smiled back. "How was your day?"

"Boring without you," Carol said truthfully. "Have you had a good day sweetie?"

"Was okay I guess."

"You guess?" Carol eyed her with concern as she fastened her seatbelt. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

She shook her head. "No, everything's fine."

Carol killed the ignition. Something wasn't right, and her stomach began to tie itself in knots. Sophia looked out of the window, her gaze faraway and hiding something that definitely wasn't good.

"Sophia?"

"It's nothing, Mama."

"Something's bothering you," Carol pressed. "Tell me what's wrong."

Sophia huffed a deep breath and looked at her mother unsurely. "Some of the boys in my class were teasing me."

"Teasing you? What about?"

"About… daddy." Sophias gaze fell to her hands.

A knife twisted in her chest as she imagined her baby girl being the butt of cruel jokes in school. Sophia was the sweetest kid anyone could ask for and she never said a bad word about anyone, not even her father. She wouldn't defend herself, she'd have taken all of their taunting and not said anything back. The thought made Carol's heart break. She bit her bottom lip and swallowed the lump in her throat.

"What boys? Honey what did they say to you?"

"The one I was telling you about, remember? The one who wouldn't leave me alone, Ben." Sophia looked up at her with swimming blue eyes. "They were laughing at me, saying daddy was gonna rot in there… saying nasty things about you."

"Right," Carol undid her seatbelt. "I'm going to speak to your teacher."

"No Mama!" Sophia squealed, grabbing her arm. "Please, it's no big deal."

"It's a big deal to me, but don't worry, I'll sort it out."

"No I mean it's sorted," Sophia insisted, hauling on her hand and letting out a sigh. "Carl got detention. He saw them bugging me and came up to Ben and punched him right in the face."

"Carl did that?" Carol gasped, sagging back into her seat and secretly cheering for Carl in her head.

"Yeah," Sophia stifled a faint smile, the hurt momentarily receding but still there in her eyes. "He broke Ben's nose. The rest of them ran away and he made sure I was alright. I think he really hurt his hand though."

"Well I'm glad he was there to protect you." Carol said softly. "He's a good friend."

"I feel bad he got a detention for me though," Sophia frowned sadly. "He was only trying to help."

"I know sweetie. I still think I should go in and speak to Miss Mackenzie-"

"No, please… I'm okay Mama, I just wanna go home," Sophia mewled, looking up at her with pleading eyes.

"Okay," Carol agreed. "But I'm calling the school tomorrow. I won't have you being bullied."

Carol fastened her seatbelt and started the car. The ride home was mostly silent, with Carol stealing frequent glances across at Sophia. She smiled back, but it was clear to Carol that she was still upset over the day's events. She'd only just started coming out of her shell now that her father was gone; this was a setback she could have done without.

All of a sudden, the prospect of Daryl arriving for dinner was the least appealing thing in the world. She wanted to just lock the door and spend the night with Sophia, snuggle up with her on the couch and protect her, shutting the whole world out.

"Maybe we should just let Daryl know tonight's not the best time to work on your project, huh?" Carol nudged her. "He can help you another day."

Sophia jerked to life all of a sudden, a desperate expression carved into her face. "Oh no, I _want_ him to come tonight!"

"Are you sure, honey?" Carol screwed her face up. "You've had a bit of a horrible day, wouldn't it be-"

"Are you kidding? I'm looking forward to it." Sophia smiled for the first time. "I like him, Mama. He's really nice."

Carol sighed in defeat. "Alright, if you're sure."

Sophia turned back to the window, her mood seemingly lifted by the reminder of her plans to work with Daryl that evening. Carol was torn between happiness and dread. Sophia's face lit up at the mention of Daryl, but her own stomach sank at the thought. She didn't feel like spending an entire evening in awkward silence, but it looked like it was happening. Whether she liked it or not, she had dinner to prepare.

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

Sophia helped her get dinner ready, peeling potatoes over the sink in silence. She had barely said two words since they'd got home and Carol was starting to get really worried. She'd never seen her like this. She used to get quiet and go to her room whenever Ed would go on the rampage, but this was different. Whatever those boys had said to her had really cut her deeply; there was none of her usual chirpy chatter or sweet giggly laughter. The temporary lift when she had mentioned Daryl in the car had faded quickly and she'd sunk back into herself, quietly doing what Carol asked her.

Carol felt so useless. She had no idea what to say to make it better, and even worse, she felt somehow to blame, for all of it. She'd stayed with Ed all these years, endured God knows how many vile put downs and beatings with her little girl sitting frightened upstairs and still she wouldn't walk away. They'd lived in an acrid atmosphere every day of their lives and still she struggled on, blind to the possibility of any other existence because she thought it was all she had. She'd let it get too far, had let them suffer too long. Now Sophia was paying for her stupidity. Maybe Ed had been right all along; she couldn't get anything right.

A muffled rap at the front door jerked her back to the present and she realised that the pan she had been stirring in her trance was dangerously close to boiling over. She turned the stove down and took a deep breath as she went to answer the door.

Daryl was standing with his back to her, spinning around as it creaked open, the faintest hint of a smile pulling at his mouth. "Hey, how's it goin'?"

Carol didn't miss the way her heart leapt at the sight of him on the doorstep. She knew whatever was stirring inside her would only mess with her head, and she tried to push it to the back of her mind. It was easier said than done; his eyes were alive with warmth and it made her feel a little flushed.

"Hi, come on in," she gestured, hoping her cheeks weren't betraying her as she showed him inside.

His scent filled her nose as he brushed past her and she found herself inhaling it deeply without thinking. Carol closed the door slowly, hoping he would follow his nose into the kitchen and give her a minute to compose herself, but she turned around to find him waiting intently and felt the warmth rushing to her face again. Suddenly she felt like she'd lost her bearings and forgotten what she was supposed to be doing.

"Um, Sophia's in the kitchen if you wanna…" She hurried past him with a flustered smile. "Sophia, look who's here."

Daryl followed her to the kitchen and leaned in the doorway. "Hey kid, how's it goin'?"

Sophia looked up from the stove where she had the potatoes settled in their pot and offered him a smile. Carol had hoped seeing Daryl would make Sophia forget about her horrible afternoon at school, but she could see the smile was painted on, and the knot in her stomach grew tighter. Sophia sank into herself again and Carol glanced briefly at Daryl, taking in the puzzled expression on his face and cursing herself for not knowing what she was supposed to do.

"Sweetie you can leave that," Carol motioned, taking over at the stove and turning the heat up under the pot. "Why don't you go get your things and make a start on your project?"

Sophia nodded and washed her hands before quietly leaving the kitchen and pattering upstairs. Carol watched her go and hung her head as she disappeared from view, rubbing her forehead as she tried to think.

"What's wrong?" Daryl asked sincerely. "She alright?"

"She's had a bit of a rough day. Some of the boys in her class were picking on her."

"What?" Daryl's eyes narrowed in disbelief.

"They were teasing her… talking about Ed. Saying things about me." Carol looked at the floor, the shame evident in her voice. "You know what kids are like. They must've known she wouldn't fight back."

"Little fuckin' morons," he snarled, his jaw set in a hard line. "I know what I'd do if ever got a hold of 'em."

"Well someone beat you to it," Carol quipped. "Carl."

"Carl?" He repeated as if to convince himself. "Kid weighs a buck twenty five soakin' wet. What'd he do?"

"He broke one boy's nose and the rest scattered. He made sure she was alright." She smiled weakly. "I used to worry about him leading her astray but now I'm just glad he was there."

Daryl studied her quietly, listening to every word intently. She'd half expected him to go off again like he'd done at Lori's but he seemed in control of his emotions; maybe the fact Carl had stepped in gave him some satisfaction or peace of mind.

"She's been really quiet since we got home. I'm worried about her Daryl. I just don't know what to do," she frowned. "I feel like nothing I say is making her feel any better. I can't bear to see her like this."

"Hey, don't worry 'bout it, I'll talk to her." Daryl nodded in encouragement.

The sincerity in his eyes made her feel a little more hopeful and she offered a smile in return as Sophia's footsteps thudded softly down the stairs. She appeared with her school bag and Daryl turned to let her in to the kitchen. Hopefully she would perk up a little as she occupied her mind with the mechanics of making a compass with Daryl. The notion hadn't filled Carol with enthusiasm at first, but she was starting to run out of ideas.

"You got everything you need?" Carol asked brightly.

"I think so," Sophia sighed.

"Right, well why don't you go into the living room so you have more room to work?"

"Okay mama." She looked to Daryl expectantly and he gave Carol a last glance as he followed Sophia into the living room.

"Thank you," she mouthed silently.

He nodded in acknowledgement and she suddenly felt relieved and grateful that he was here. If she'd told him not to come then she'd have been stuck in the mud all night, feeling totally useless. For a few hours at least, Sophia would have something to think about other than her ordeal at school. She couldn't put her finger on it, but Carol was quietly confident that Daryl would get through to her somehow; Sophia seemed to have a real soft spot for him and as much as it surprised her, he had a connection with Sophia.

She turned her attention back to preparing dinner. She'd decided on chicken, potatoes and a medley of vegetables; something relatively easy that she couldn't mess up even if she was a little preoccupied. Carol checked on Sophia's pot which was now boiling nicely and checked things off the list in her head. Just as she was about to check on the chicken in the oven, she heard a knock at the front door followed by Lori's voice as she came in.

"Carol? You got a minute?"

"I'm in here," she called in reply, peering into the oven.

Lori entered the kitchen, looking worn out and gaunt, clearly not having had the best of days herself. "Hey, sorry I didn't know you'd be in the middle of dinner."

"Oh it's fine," Carol insisted. "I thought you might come round anyway."

"How is she?"

"She's quiet. How's Carl?"

"He's alright, his hand is a bit swollen but it'll be fine."

"I'm glad he was there," Carol stated. "I'm sorry he ended up in detention-"

"Don't apologise, honestly," Lori reassured her. "Carl's just Carl. He was protecting his friend. Rick and I haven't been too hard on him. He knows it was wrong, but his heart was in the right place."

"Well give him a hug from me," she replied. "I don't think she'll be getting any more trouble off those boys."

Lori chuckled in response but her amusement was short lived as Daryl brushed past her into the kitchen. Carol saw her face drop and the dislike seeping into her features as her eyes followed Daryl, evidently surprised to see him there.

"We uh, need some water," Daryl rubbed his chin, eyes furtively glimpsing Lori. "Hey."

"Hello again," she answered coldly.

Daryl waited quietly while Carol poured him some water, avoiding Lori like she was a venomous snake poised to strike.

"Thanks." He took the cup of water with a grateful nod and gave Lori one last contemplative glance before disappearing again into the living room.

Carol fully expected the look that Lori gave her next, like she hadn't listened to a word she'd said. Carol grew a little irritable before Lori had even begun to speak because she knew exactly what was coming, and she was tired of having to justify herself.

"Before you say anything, he's helping Sophia," Carol muttered.

"Helping Sophia?" Lori looked confused.

"Yeah, with her science project. She's doing hers on navigation and Daryl knows a fair bit about it so he offered to help."

"Carol I know it's none of my business, but maybe it's not such a great idea. I mean from what you told me-"

"He's actually been a great help this week. My car broke down the other day and he gave us a ride home, refused to take anything for the repairs. Then he offered to help Sophia out and to be honest I'm glad he's here, because I haven't had much luck getting her to perk up. She likes him and he's great with her."

"Well I just hope you know what you're doing," Lori sighed. "First he's fixing cars and helping Sophia, next you'll be having him over for dinner." Carol looked away awkwardly, the aroma of the chicken suddenly thick in the air and the pieces clicked together in Lori's head. "Oh you are kidding."

"Well I wasn't going to let him do all that and not say thank you," Carol protested.

"You can say thank you without cooking for him!"

"Look I appreciate your concern Lori, but he did a nice thing so as far as I'm concerned he's welcome at my dinner table."

"Alright," Lori held her hands up in surrender. "I'll keep my nose out, but don't say I didn't warn you."

Carol moved to show Lori out and they stopped in the doorway of the living room. Daryl and Sophia were deep in discussion, fiddling with bits of cork and needles, the living room an explosion of books and drawings.

"Listen, my old man and my big brother were inside a lot too," Daryl grunted, his eyes narrowed in concentration as he tried to get his alignment right. "People that say shit don't know jack about it half the time, so don't pay any attention alright? Besides, think your buddy taught 'em a good lesson." He nudged her and they shared a smirk.

"It didn't bug me… the stuff about my daddy I mean," Sophia said. "It was the stuff about my mama that upset me. They don't even know her. She's been so brave and well… she's just amazing."

Carol felt her throat swell and had to cover her mouth with her hand. Daryl looked up and met her eyes, his gaze hinting agreement with Sophia. He turned his attention back to Sophia and gave her a little corner of mouth smile.

"Yeah well you're pretty amazing too," he nudged her. "You got your own bodyguard and everythin'. I definitely won't be messin' with ya. "

Sophia giggled and shoved him playfully. He chuckled softly and cast another glance in Carol's direction, suggesting his efforts had worked and instantly putting her mind at ease. Carol turned to look at Lori and could tell immediately a thaw had set in. Lori returned her gaze with a hint of amused agreement that maybe he wasn't quite the villain she had painted him to be.

"I'll leave you to it," she whispered, with a final look at Sophia and Daryl deep in concentration.

Carol showed her out and came back in to check on dinner. It was just about ready so she set about laying the table. As she set out three places, she couldn't drag her mind away from the way Daryl had brought Sophia around out of her melancholy. He had been able to reach her when Carol couldn't, and while the notion still made her feel a little helpless, she was so grateful he had won her over. The way he was with Sophia made her heart melt a little; the stirrings were becoming harder to ignore. Now she just had to sit through dinner and try not to make a fool of herself. She couldn't look him in the eye without her cheeks colouring up, and Sophia could be depended on to notice it instantly. Any lingering silences or looks across the dinner table were going to be unbearable and she could only hope Sophia was in chatty mode. Unfortunately, she had run out of time to stall.

She peeked her head around the living room door. "Okay you two, dinner's ready."

Sophia skipped into the kitchen , taking the seat at the end of the table, and if Carol hadn't known better she would have sworn she did it on purpose. Daryl sat opposite Carol, scraping his seat back apologetically after accidentally brushing her leg with his. She gave a bashful smile and tried to ignore the heat rushing to her face. There was nowhere for her to run now, he was right in front of her, and short of looking at her dinner all night instead of eating it, she would have no escape from the magnetic pull of his eyes.

"Smells good." He eyed the feast and tucked his napkin into his shirt. Sophia let out a giggle. "What? Hey you're laughin' now, but shit's about to get real."

He threw an apologetic glance Carol's way for swearing and Sophia rolled her eyes at him, laying her own napkin across her lap. The mischievous look he shared with Sophia made Carol's tummy flutter and as his eyes shifted to her, she couldn't help but think he was right.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Oh god I am finding it so hard to deal with my feelings from this season so far. First we had THAT HUG and then we had water jugs being dropped in an awkwardly adorable Daryl sort of way... Lord help us if this truly IS the season where we get what we've waited so long for. **

**Anyway here for your reading pleasure is Chapter 19. Enjoy and throw as many water jugs (reviews) as you wish at me to counter act my day from hell at work haha!**

**Disclaimer: TWD and its characters are property of Kirkman and co... don't let me down Rabert!**

Chapter 19

"Daryl can I see you for a minute?"

Daryl looked up from under the hood of the car he was working on, his face smeared with grease and sweat, eyes narrowed in the blazing midday sun. Dale was in the office, rooting through a sea of papers on his desk, frantically searching for something by the looks of things. Daryl wondered what the hell he had lost now. He put down his wrench and wiped the grit and sweat off his hands on the sides of his pants as he made his way towards the office.

"S'up boss?" Daryl studied him in quiet amusement as he fumbled through the mess on his desk. "Ya lost somethin'?"

"The part I ordered in for Mrs Richards, it's still not arrived. Have you seen the invoice anywhere? I'm gonna have to call them back and see what's keeping it."

Daryl fished in the chaos and pulled out the form, handing it to a relieved Dale and turning on his heel to get back to work.

"Daryl?" Dale stopped him. "You alright?"

"Yeah, m'good," he replied, chewing his lip and looking confused. "Why?"

"Dunno, you just seem a little… distant."

"Nah, I'm okay."

"You sure?" Dale pressed.

Daryl's gaze faltered briefly as he thought about whether he really was alright. He'd been lost in his own head the whole morning, every thought someway or another coming back around to Carol. He hated himself for letting his brain get ahead of itself, false hope igniting and growing steadily until it blazed, but he couldn't get away from it. The thoughts chased him relentlessly until the sweat was rolling down his back in bullets. He hadn't intended to get in so deep with her again, but he knew it was too late now. The fuse was lit, and he couldn't put it out. He squinted up at Dale, the cogs in his brain grinding in objection as the words formed in his mouth.

"I dunno." He sat down in one of the battered armchairs, throwing his head into his hands.

Dale sighed deeply, the realisation apparent on his face, and sat down across from him. "This is about Carol, isn't it?"

Daryl's hands fell away, coming together in a peak at his mouth as he looked to Dale, half in confirmation, half desperation. "How the hell did I get here?"

"And where exactly is here?" Dale asked.

"Up to my neck in shit," Daryl grunted. "I dunno what the hell I'm doin'."

Dale studied him thoughtfully. "You know when I was a boy, I used to fall and cut my knees all the time, great big open gashes that bled like a battlefield. My mother used to go ballistic and yell at me for being such a klutz. Anyway, to this day I still have the scars." Daryl screwed his eyes up in confusion at the point of the story as Dale continued. "Funny thing about scars, is they heal, but they never disappear. They're always a part of who you are. My knees won't ever be pretty but so long as I leave the scars alone, they won't bleed. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"What if I can't?" Daryl asked, his voice heavy with despondence. "Leave it alone?"

"Then someone will end up getting hurt." Dale replied. "And from where I'm standing it looks like that someone will be you. She has too much baggage, and too much to lose. Get out now Daryl, stop this thing before it goes too far."

Daryl hung his head in his hands again, huffing out a great sigh as he admitted to himself that Dale was right. The problem was, it had gone way past too far. He had fought himself as much as he could, but now he had grown attached to Sophia too and it just made everything a hundred times harder to fight.

"What if I don't want to?"

"Then all I can do is be here when it falls apart," Dale sighed. "You're my son, Daryl. I've never thought of you as anything else. I want you to be happy. You do what you gotta do, you know I'll be here for you either way. Just… think about it, that's all I ask."

Daryl chewed the inside of his mouth and considered Dale's advice. His mind was already pretty much made up. He felt a slight twinge of remorse at his decision, knowing if it did all fall through, Dale would be left to pick up the pieces and it wouldn't be pretty.

Daryl grunted a response of thanks and Dale offered a faint smile, one that said he knew his advice had fallen on deaf ears, and got up to go make his call. Daryl sat a while, his head suddenly weighing a ton as Dale's words sunk into his brain. His mind might have been made up, but relief was non existent. He wouldn't find it until something happened, and he had a feeling that it wouldn't be long before something did.

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

"How's it coming along?"

Carol peered over Sophia's shoulder as she sat at the kitchen table tinkering with her compass prototype, going over everything in her mind that Daryl had shown her. It hadn't taken long to explain and she seemed to have gotten the gist.

"Great, I can't wait to show Daryl," she beamed. "When do you think he'll get here?"

"I don't know honey, after he's done at work I expect." Carol poured herself a cup of coffee and settled down at the table next to Sophia, fixing her with a curious smile. "You've taken quite the liking to him, haven't you?"

Sophia smiled back at her bashfully, but unable to contain her happiness. It broke Carol's heart a little to think that this was the first time she'd seen her really smiling in weeks; from the inside out, free from fear. It also didn't help quell the battle she was already having with herself, rather it made it a whole lot worse.

Her own thoughts, feelings she didn't think would ever surface again, were becoming harder to ignore. In the space of a few weeks her life had changed dramatically. She had gone from a trembling mouse on the bathroom floor to someone stepping out into the light again, rediscovering life and remembering how to feel. Despite this, she still harboured feelings of uncertainty and dread. What if this was all just some dream brought on by her misery? By one too many sleepless nights, unable to rest for fear and pain? She feared the rug might be pulled from under her feet again at any moment, except it wasn't just her that would fall this time.

She could see it in Sophia's eyes that she was smitten with Daryl. If he decided to leave again, just disappeared without a trace, she dreaded to think what it would do to her baby. He seemed to have a way with her, being able to get inside her head and make her see that it was alright, make her laugh and forget being afraid for a while. Carol didn't know if she would ever have that ability; she was always afraid, always ready to run, and Sophia was tuned right in to that fear. If Daryl left again, he would be leaving them both. The thoughts whirled in her head, tearing her in two. She wanted to tell Sophia not to get attached, but how could she? How could she rip away the first shreds of pure happiness the girl had known in her whole life? If he left, she would be devastated either way; there didn't seem much point in being the prophet of doom just yet.

"Whats wrong Mama?" Sophia gazed at her curiously.

Carol pushed the negativity out of her mind and smiled sweetly at her. "Nothing. I'm just thinking how nice it is to see that pretty smile of yours."

"You have a pretty smile too," Sophia grinned back.

"It's not as sweet as yours," Carol chuckled.

"I think it is," Sophia replied with a twinkle in her eye. "Daryl told me he likes it when you smile. He said it makes you light up."

Carol almost choked on her coffee. Sophia grinned at her and before she could string together a retort there was a knock at the door and she leapt out of her seat and skipped away to answer it. Carol sat frozen to her seat, disbelief mingling with amusement and tried to straighten herself out as Daryl's rough southern drawl drifted in behind the click of the front door closing. She listened expectantly to the jingle of keys and the sound of leather creaking as he rounded the kitchen doorway, trailing Sophia at his hip, her eyes still full of mischief. _Me and my shadow _she thought to herself, a faint smile crossing her features as her eyes shifted to him. The second his bright blue pools locked onto her Carol felt her heart somersaulting wildly in her chest, determined not to be ignored.

"Hey, how's it goin'?" he nodded.

"I'm good, you?" she allowed herself a little smile. It was hard not to.

"Yeah, m'good," he smiled, turning his attention to Sophia. "Well, did ya manage to finish it?."

Sophia proudly produced the compass and handed it to Daryl. He examined it through narrowed eyes, the beginnings of a smile tugging at his lips as he looked back at her grinning up at him. Carol thought Sophia looked like she might burst with excitement as she waited for his verdict.

"Not bad," he teased. "But y'know we still gotta test it, make sure it works."

"Test it?" Sophia looked at him, puzzled. "How do you test a compass?"

Carol wondered the same and fixed him with a suspicious stare. Daryl looked at them both as if they were clueless and she couldn't help get the feeling that whatever answer he came up with wouldn't be entirely the truth.

"Well ya gotta get lost and try to find your way back." He nudged Sophia. "Kinda like hide and seek."

"How are we supposed to get lost around here?" Sophia asked dubiously.

"Well we could go into the woods," he replied. "I live right in the middle of a forest, you'd get real lost in there."

"Oh I don't know about that," Carol interrupted, a startled look on her face. "I don't like the idea of her wandering through the woods alone."

"She won't be alone, we'll be right behind her."

"All the same, I-"

"Please Mama?" Sophia hummed up at her, batting her eyelashes and trying to look adorable. "My project's about survival in the wilderness, and this would be a great thing to write up in my report?"

"Yeah," Daryl agreed, his gaze returning to Carol. "And besides, I reckon I could catch us some dinner while we're at it."

The idea didn't sit well with her for several reasons, but looking at Sophia's face full of hope and excitement made it impossible for her to say no. She couldn't disappoint her; she would just need to endure the evening in Daryl's company, praying that her heart kept itself in check and that she didn't have any momentary lapses of willpower.

"Oh alright, but you don't wander off too far, okay?" She fixed Sophia with a concerned motherly stare. "You stay where Daryl and I can see you at all times."

"I won't go far, Mama, I promise."

"Well, it doesn't look like I have much of a choice." Carol sighed in resignation, her eyes darting between the two of them. "Alright, just let me get changed into something I don't mind getting dirt on."

"Yes!" Sophia exclaimed, her grin spreading even wider across her face as she jumped up and down.

Carol smiled at her enthusiasm, both pitying Daryl for his acquistion of a mini-me and feeling sheer happiness for her daughter's new zest for life. It seemed to be rubbing off on her as Daryl lifted his eyes to her and her heart fluttered again. She began to wish she had a compass of her own; something told her she was about to get very lost.

_**XOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

"Come on, keep up you two!"

Sophia's voice rang in the dusky air, accompanied only by the song of birds preparing to nestle down for the night. Carol and Daryl trailed behind her. Her boundless energy was working against the leisurely pace they had settled into, and Daryl could tell Carol's heart was in her mouth in more than one occasion as they lost sight of her sandy hair flitting in between the trees like some wild animal. Daryl reckoned that Sophia was definitely better adapted to survival in the wilderness than Carol. Her sense of direction seemed to desert her completely as she picked her way through the forest floor. Sophia seemed to know her way around, like she'd been born in the woods. He watched half in amusement, half in frustration as Carol's feet picked up the pace, trying to keep up with the wild girl weaving her way through the trees.

"Sophia, will you slow down?" Carol called, slightly out of breath.

"Hey will ya relax?" Daryl pulled her back slightly by the arm. "She won't go far. Ain't a square inch of these woods I don't know like the back of my hand."

"Maybe so but it'll be getting dark soon, I won't have her getting lost in pitch darkness with bears roaming around."

"Bears?" Daryl looked confused. "Ain't no bears 'round here."

"But you said-"

Daryl then remembered his bear story from the day he'd picked them up at the side of the road and a little chuckle escaped him. She studied his face for a moment before looking at the ground, mortified. All of a sudden he felt bad.

"You're laughing at me," she mumbled.

"I ain't laughin' at ya," he insisted. "Just didn't think either of ya believed me."

She kept her eyes on the ground in front of her, glazed over like she was in a world of her own. They walked in relative silence for a minute, perforated by the odd bird call and the gentle rhythm of the crossbow on his back. "Sorry, I guess I'm just used to it."

"Used to what?" He shot her a puzzled look.

"Being laughed at," she glanced up at him briefly as they walked. "I suppose I always just assume when someone laughs it's at me."

Daryl felt even worse now. He _knew _that feeling all too well. He'd grown up with it, and the look on her face right now brought it all back. He'd always been the useless one, the disappointment, the butt of his old man's jokes, and he remembered how small and helpless he felt inside when his father took aim with some nasty comment. She was probably feeling that right now.

"Hey, I ain't laughin' at ya." Daryl spoke softly. "I'd never do that. My old man and Merle used to make me feel about this big. Used to laugh their asses off, like it was the funniest fuckin' thing they'd ever heard."

"Oh," Carol looked at him sympathetically. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he frowned. "They were assholes. Point is, I learned they were wrong."

Carol tore her gaze away and returned it to the forest in front of her. The light was starting to fade a little and he could see her eyes working overtime, trying to adjust to the fading daylight. That faraway look was back, but this time he knew she was going to say something, and it felt monumental.

"Sometimes I think he's right."

Daryl felt his hackles rise. He fixed her with a determined glare and waited for her to continue. When she didn't get a reply she looked at him. "Ed. He's always saying how I'm no good for anything, I can't get anything right, I'm useless…"

"Yeah," Daryl growled, "well he ain't lookin' too useful right now banged up."

He saw what looked like the ghost of a smile cross her features and vanish just as quickly. She was still in Ed's grip, the self loathing and doubt beaten into her over the years still firmly rooted in place, the fear still self evident. He studied her thoughtfully for a moment before an idea took hold of him.

"C'mon," he nudged her with his elbow, "follow me."

He led her to a little clearing up ahead that he knew. When they got to it he could see her looking around for Sophia and the panic starting to creep in when she was nowhere to be seen. _She has too much to lose. _Dale's words rang in his mind but were quickly submerged by his need to make her feel like she was worth something, to pull her from Ed's grasp and make her realise she wasn't useless.

"She's fine, let her go for a minute," Daryl read her mind. "Kid looks like she knows these woods better than me."

"Daryl, I-"

"Let her go," he ordered. "Now c'mere."

Daryl slung the crossbow over his head and notched up an arrow. Carol looked at him in total confusion as he set it up, her mind trying to work out what he was doing. He scoured the clearing for a target and when he settled on one, he motioned to her to take the crossbow.

"What?"

"Take it," he said, pushing it towards her.

"I don't know how-"

"I know, but you're gonna learn."

"Why?" Carol asked uncertainly.

"Why not?" he retorted.

She looked at the weapon before gingerly accepting it. As she took its full weight in one arm she quickly adopted a two hand approach, the pull of it almost toppling her over.

"Got it?"

"Yeah, just a little heavier than I was expecting, that's all," she grunted with effort as she tried to raise the crossbow.

"S'alright, you'll get used to it, just adjust your grip so you're comfortable," Daryl assessed her hand position. "'Kay, now stand a little to the side, and aim for the notch on that tree, the big one right in the middle."

Carol looked at him uncertainly and got herself into position. Daryl noted her apprehensive posture, like she was setting herself up to fail before she'd even fired an arrow. She was struggling to hold the weapon steady, her arms shaking under the weight as she took aim and after a moment, released the arrow. She lowered the crossbow and gave an embarrassed smirk.

She'd missed the target by a fair distance, the arrow landing on the forest floor somewhere behind the tree. Daryl watched her prepare to retreat into herself as she motioned to hand him back the crossbow. Instead he took another arrow and notched it into place and came around to stand behind her. He moved her into the correct stance, pushing the small of her back gently so she would stand straight. With his hands he brought her arms up, helping her support the weight. He could feel the tremor in her body easing off as she relaxed into the position.

"Right, now take a deep breath and hold it," he said quietly, his voice rough and almost whispering in her ear without realising he was doing it. "Line up the end of the arrow with the target and squeeze the trigger, don't pull it."

There was a millisecond where all he could hear was his own blood rushing in his ears in the total silence of the moment they were sharing, her body pressed to his making his pulse pick up, and then the thunk of release and her breath leaving her as she hit the notch on the tree right in the centre.

"Did you see that?!" She breathed, flashing him a megawatt smile. "I did it!"

"Yeah, nice shot," he agreed, "not many folks manage to hit the target first time. Guess he was wrong."

Carol turned her face to look at him and he knew he was screwed. Her eyes were the brightest he'd seen them, alive with something he hadn't seen in an age. Suddenly his heart pistoned in his chest, aware of her now intense stare. The smile had dimmed but the fire still burned in her eyes, and he couldn't look away. Usually such direct eye contact made him shrink back and run away, but his body was frozen in place. His eyes wandered over her features, her mouth dangerously close and it was then he realised he still had her wrapped in his arms, his hands softly encasing her slender forearms. He was pinned to the spot but he could feel his brain working against him, letting her eyes pull him in until he could feel her breath on his chest. He was beginning to ache, every muscle in his body suddenly bound by intense longing.

"Mama, look what I found!"

Sophia's voice echoed through the trees as she came running, driving a wedge between the two of them and sending them rushing apart like atoms. Daryl breathed and hazarded a glance in Carol's direction, the moment apparently forgotten as she greeted Sophia with a smile.

"I see you found your way back. Oh wow, where did you find that?" Carol examined the object Sophia offered up. "What a pretty stone."

Daryl was grateful for the interruption as Sophia chattered to her mother; Dale was right, he had to stop this before it went any further. His brain, however, seemed to be jammed on autopilot and determined to overrule any sensible decisions he tried to make. He was gonna have to try a hell of a lot harder not to get sucked in.

"Daryl, look what I found!" Sophia chirped.

_Easier said than done_. "Hey, kid. What ya dug up?"

He squinted at the marbled grey and black stone and crouched down on his haunches to get a better view, taking the flat piece of rock from her. "It's jasper."

"Jasper?" Sophia repeated, her voice full of uncertain awe. "What's that?"

"S'a healin' stone." Daryl examined the jasper, turning it over in his fingers. "This one is Picasso jasper."

"This one? You mean there's all different kinds?"

"Yeah, they all got different colours and patterns. They all do different things too. This one," he held it up for her to see, " 'sposed to protect and bring peace in times of stress. Give ya strength… hope." His eyes wandered to Carol, who was listening intently. "S'also meant to help build friendships… and renew old ones."

"Wow, really?" Sophia looked at it in awe.

"So they say," Daryl smirked at her enthusiasm. "Guess I always believed it, anyway."

Daryl stood up and handed her back the jasper and she examined it closely, her mind working through this new information. She looked up at him and offered him the stone, a faint smile forming on her lips. Daryl looked at her in confusion, and she pushed it at him insistently.

"I want you to have it." She smiled.

"Nuh uh, finders keepers," he argued, shaking his head.

"You said it yourself, it builds friendships," she pressed, hushing her voice at the last minute, "…and renews old ones."

He told himself he had imagined her deliberate change of tone and the look on her face, but as he eyed her pointed expression with disbelief, he knew he hadn't. Sophia placed the jasper in his hand and with a devilish grin she turned to follow her mother before he could object. He stared after her for a moment before following on. That kid was gonna get him in all kinds of trouble, and he got the feeling that it was her plan all along.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Hello all. Sorry this is late, I've been ill all week so doing anything at all has been very slow. **

**Anyway here is Chapter 20. Probably not gonna be popular for this chapter but just trust me, there's method in my madness I promise you. If you have any questions feel free to pm me. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own TWD or its characters. **

Chapter 20

The three of them walked together for a while, the daylight slowly melting to a golden haze, dappling the forest floor with beams of dancing light as it broke through the trees. Sophia took the lead, eagerly exploring the woods like she'd never been allowed to roam before in her life, and gradually Carol felt her tension easing. She felt safe walking with Daryl, the calm and stillness of the forest washing away her apprehension. Her eyes barely left Sophia, but Carol felt able to breathe again without being afraid she would disappear before her eyes. It felt so natural, being out in the wilderness just the three of them with only the sounds of the forest for company. The crunch of twigs underfoot, the lazy banging of the crossbow on his back, and the occasional clinking together of fishing rods he'd fetched from the cabin .

Her skin still tingled where he had held her. When she'd felt his work roughened hands on her body she'd frozen for a split second with surprise more than anything, before relaxing into his touch. His arms had been strong but soft at the same time, the strength of him sending a rush to her core. His breath in her ear had prickled her body in goosebumps, and the way he had looked at her when she turned to face him had weakened her legs, making her thankful that he still had a hold of her. The sweet buzz still lingered in her gut. Everything about one little moment in time had dulled reality and made her feel something other than fear and dread for a change. She'd felt protected, safe… close.

She stole a glance at him as they trudged through the trees, admiring his relaxed, lazy gait and the way his body swung with every step. He was focused on the ground in front of him, his face a picture of concentration, eyes scouring the foliage methodically, like he was looking for something. If he could see her staring then he was doing a good job of hiding it.

"What are you looking for?"

"Nothin'," Daryl squinted at the ground. "Guess I'm just always lookin' for a trail."

"See anything?"

"Only Sophia weavin' around like a rabbit." Daryl glanced up at her, a smile passing his lips briefly. "Think she loves it out here more than I do."

Carol giggled at the notion. "Yeah she's always been an outdoors girl, my Sophia. She loves climbing trees, but she knows it drives me crazy. I think that's why she does it."

"Why?" Daryl looked at her curiously. "What's wrong with climbin' trees?"

Carol thought for a moment about the real reason. Ed hated how it made him look; a daughter running around tripping over herself, knees all cut up like she'd ran through a pane of glass. "I just worry about her that's all. Can't count all the times I've had to patch her up."

He looked like he might say something in reply, and for a moment she was unsure if he'd bought her answer. His eyes returned to the ground, seemingly satisfied for the moment. Carol relaxed again and watched him as he lifted his eyes to look ahead for the fishing spot they were headed to. The path they had walked had led them to a series of little creeks hidden between the trees, and not surprisingly to her, he knew them all intimately. She vaguely remembered a few times fishing with him when they were teenagers. The location spoke to her on some unconscious level, like déjà vu.

"Right, this is the spot," he nodded, looking around as if to confirm it to himself. "Hey kid, come on back a sec."

Sophia bounded back towards them, Daryl's pack on her back for safekeeping. He spun her with a little smirk and unzipped the bag, pulling out a small black tub with holes in the lid.

"What's in the box?" Sophia craned her neck to get a closer look.

"Bait," Daryl replied, prising the lid off.

Sophia took one look at the worms wriggling around inside the box and screwed her face up squeamishly. "Eew, gross!"

"Ain't so bad, kinda like spaghetti except they move around." Daryl studied the box and gave it a little shake in his palm.

"They don't look like any spaghetti I've ever eaten!"

"Dunno what you're missin', kid."

Sophia looked at him in horror, throwing Carol a stunned glance before daring herself to ask the question. "You haven't actually _eaten_ them, have you?"

Daryl fixed Sophia with a serious look for a moment, waiting for her to crack and for a second Carol actually felt her stomach heave at both the thought of eating worms and also the awful, horrid possibility that he may have been forced to through hunger when he was a young boy. Relief washed over her as he snorted a little laugh at them both.

"Y'all are too easy to wind up," he smirked in amusement.

Her panic subsided as she realised he was joking, and Sophia rolled her eyes at him. Carol couldn't help but smirk herself. She felt a warmth blooming inside as her eyes moved over him, rummaging in his rucksack for something or other. She never would have imagined she'd feel this way again, the void between them glaring painfully when she'd literally ran into him at Lori's party. Little pieces of her she had long thought were gone for good seemed to be fading back up into vivid colour. Colour that grew stronger as she observed his obvious fondness for Sophia.

"Here gimme your hand," he motioned to her.

"I'm not touching them they're gross!" Sophia squealed, flapping her hands squeamishly.

"They don't bite," Daryl coaxed, holding one of the worms out in his palm. "They just… squirm around. It's kinda tickly."

Sophia reached out with her finger and gingerly touched the worm, eliciting a sheepish yelp and slight jerk away before inquisitively prodding at the wiggling creature again.

"See? Still got all your fingers," Daryl smiled at her, flattening her palm out. He tipped the worm into her palm and Sophia studied it as it wriggled gently.

"It's not so bad I guess. Mama look!"

Carol shrieked and jumped away as Sophia stuck the worm right under her face, mortified as she realised both Sophia and Daryl were laughing. She did her best to will away the blush painting her cheeks and ended up laughing in spite of herself.

"I'll get you back for that… both of you." She warned.

"Yeah, yeah," Daryl teased, setting down a fishing rod for Sophia and kneeling to balance the container on his leg. "Okay Mom, better get over here coz I ain't gonna show ya this twice."

Carol moved over to where they were standing but realised quickly exactly what it was he wanted to show her. "I don't really want to watch you stab a worm with a hook."

"I ain't gonna do it. You are." He gave her his patented smartass grin, holding out the bait.

Carol backed away. "Me? No way, I am not touching those things."

"Well someone's got to or we ain't gonna have nothin' to eat for dinner." Daryl reached for her hand and brought her back over slowly. "Don't think neither of you ladies is keen on huntin' squirrel or rabbit, are ya?"

"No!" Sophia mewled desperately.

Carol looked down at Daryl; her instinct to run in the other direction was still there but the warmth of his hand on hers and the gentleness in his eyes kept the demons at bay. Rolling her eyes lightly, she kneeled down beside him and picked up the hook end of the line. Daryl nimbly lifted a squirming, dirt covered worm out of the container and directed it towards her hand, smoothing out the creases of her palm with his thumb. The motion sent a wave of shivers up her spine, but the sensation was only partially pleasant as she was quickly reminded of what was now wriggling around in her hand. Daryl got his own rod and picked out another victim from the container, holding it up for them both to see.

"Okay ladies, it's a pretty simple procedure," he demonstrated. "Just hold the hook up straight like this and bring the body of the worm down on it until it's all the way through. Just be careful, they uhh… y'know… guts."

Sophia made a face and Carol was pretty sure she had as well. The worm on the hook squirmed even more now, but quickly gave up as it knew it had nowhere else to go.

He set his fishing rod down and put his hand back under hers to help. "Ya ready?"

"Not really." She admitted, feeling queasy again. "Isn't there another more humane way to do this? It's a little… cruel."

"No matter what the situation, something's gotta die for us to live." Daryl said matter-of-factly. "It's just the circle of life. How ya think that meat gets on your table every night?"

"I like to think it comes from the store and leave it at that." Carol scowled, wishing she could block out the imagery.

"Y'all are lucky." He said, taking the worm from her and placing it expertly on the hook for her. "When I was growin' up, bein' able to hunt wasn't a hobby. It was the only way we had food at the end of the day. Guess I ain't ever looked at it any other way. It was survival or nothin'."

Sophia looked at him in amazement, her eyes wide. Carol knew that Daryl's claims were true, that it wasn't just for show. She knew how he'd lived, and as bad as things had gotten with Ed, Sophia had never wanted for anything. She had never gone hungry, never needed to fend for herself, and she looked almost humbled by the realisation that not every child was as lucky. It made Carol's heart swell with pride that even at such a young age Sophia could appreciate all the things that she did have.

Daryl put the container down on the ground and hauled himself back up again, handing Sophia one of the fishing rods. "Alright, think we're set. C'mon down and I'll show ya how to cast your line in."

Sophia nodded and grinned widely, started down with her rod towards the bank. Daryl looked back at Carol once more, his eyes smiling and warm as he turned back towards the water and followed down the path. Carol couldn't look away as he went down to the water's edge, his stride lazy and confident, and her eyes wandered unbidden over his form, which left little to be desired. His clothes clung to every ripple and curve and she couldn't help wondering what it would feel like to run her hands over his strong back, those arms, even lower than that. Her skin flushed as she scolded herself for eyeing him in such a presumptuous way, but even then she couldn't banish the feelings. Things seemed to be unfolding so… _naturally_, like they had never been apart, and for the first time in what felt like forever she felt light. Almost giddy. It was something she had thought she would never get back. A mirage from a life lived so long ago it was almost forgotten.

Carol rose to her feet, following them down to the water's edge, marvelling at how well Daryl worked with her little girl. They were becoming quite the pair, and yet they were nearly complete opposites. She'd always felt Daryl was a bit child like, with his stubbornness and his inability to cope with situations most adults could handle with ease. A melancholy burrowed inside her as she supposed it was down to his own childhood being dark and practically non existent. He'd had to grow up fast and forego the normal things children got to do, and the boy deep down inside had been left in a kind of purgatory, never seeing the light of day. In a way, that lost boy was finally coming to life again through her daughter, almost recreating the childhood he never had. She watched as they goofed around; Sophia kicking pebbles at him while he stuck his tongue out at her and dodged the missiles. The joy they were finding in their own little bubble brought tears flooding to her eyes and she wiped them away before either of them saw.

Daryl turned back, seeking her out, motioning her to join them. She obliged and found herself being drawn into their play, and then it was back, that warm feeling in her gut that fooled her into thinking she was seventeen again. The boy that looked at her through his smiling eyes melted all the weight from her shoulders. She didn't know how long they stood there just looking at one another, smiles gently fading to something else, something deeper and long hidden. Seemed like the world slowed to a dizzy blur and all she could see was the man in front of her, words poised on his lips but unsure of how to let them fall. Just as it seemed he had almost found his nerve, a little voice shrill with excitement tore them apart.

"Mama! Daryl! It's moving!"

Daryl jerked from his trance, stuttering towards Sophia like he'd just woken from a deep sleep. "Hey ya got a bite!"

Carol hadn't even noticed Sophia going back to tend to her line as they'd goofed around like a couple of kids. She tried to ignore the fact her heart had accelerated to a hummingbird thrum, and gave herself a shake as she headed over to the commotion unfolding.

"Keep a good grip on it." Daryl stood behind Sophia to oversee the situation. "Ya got it?"

"Yeah I think so."

"Kay, now turn the reel slowly, and give it some time in between turns."

Carol watched, totally caught up in the struggle. "Is she all right?"

"She's fine, she's got it." He patted her back gently. "Just keep reeling him in…that's it."

Sophia bit her lip with determination, her scrawny arms shaking with effort. "I think I almost have it…"

"Keep it comin'…"

Carol watched the water, waiting for something to break the surface. The tension on the line looked almost at breaking point and Carol held her breath. Then she saw them, the ripples fanning out as the straining creature fought against the pull of the line. Suddenly a fish leapt out of the water and onto the rock before them, flapping its noisy indignant protest on the bank. Sophia cried out in triumph as Daryl took the rod from her and reeled it all the way in. He grabbed the fish and went to work getting it off the hook as Sophia came running over, her face full of pride.

"Did ya see it mama? I did it!"

Carol kissed her head and hugged her fiercely. "I saw every moment of it. You were amazing."

"How big is it?" She looked back as Daryl brought her catch up for them all to see. "Looks kinda small."

"Ain't a lot of big ones in this part of the creek." He said, barely keeping a grip on the slippery fish. "But I'd say this is definitely on the bigger side. Lucky he didn't pull ya in. You did a great job, couldn'ta done it any better myself."

Sophia grinned brightly, but then her smile fell. "Is it enough for all of us to eat?"

Daryl held up the indignant flapping fish and made a face. "Probably not. Good thing I already caught some yesterday."

Carol's jaw dropped and she eyeballed him in disbelief. "You mean you've already _been_ fishing? Whatever happened to 'dinner won't catch itself?' "

Daryl shrugged in amusement. "Couldn't hold ya to that the first time around could I? Besides, didn't wanna risk us all starvin'."

Daryl dodged a halfhearted smack and Carol only felt a miniscule shred of annoyance under her own amusement; the day had filled her with such a glow she couldn't fight back the grin that pulled at her mouth.

"So does that mean we can throw him back?" Sophia asked, looking at the still struggling fish gasping for breath. "I mean if we don't need to eat him, then he can go back to his family right?"

Daryl looked up at Carol, and she could see the hunter in him resisting the idea of setting the fish free, but something in his gaze softened and before she could speak he stood and took the fish to the water's edge. He held it for a moment, waiting for it to get its breath back, before it wiggled out of his hands and darted away.

"There ya go buddy… see ya 'round."

He watched for a moment after it had swam away, and she was on the verge of asking him why when he broke from his thoughts and caught her staring. His eyes shifted uneasily, almost with embarrassment as he brushed past her to collect their stuff together.

"S'gettin' dark, we should head back," he said, craning his neck to the sky.

Carol had barely noticed the fading light, and as the three of them headed back, there was nothing except a warm glow burning steadily brighter inside her, and when his eyes found hers in the dusk, she swore she saw it burning there too.

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

The starry abyss twinkled lazily above him as he lay with his arms folded behind his head on the hood of the pickup. Daryl had always been fascinated by the stars, often getting lost among the constellations and forgetting the world for hours at a time. Sometimes as a teenager he would stay out all night until they faded and gave way to the dawn. Now here he was again, looking up at the heavens, at lights that had probably gone out millions of years ago but still shone brightly in the dark.

It was quiet. The silence under the blanket of stars made him aware of his own company once again. It was getting impossible to ignore the noise in his head and the crushing weight of the torment in his chest. Dinner had been one long game of trying not to get caught staring at her. He knew he was digging a hole for himself with every look, every accidental touch, but he didn't know how to stop. Even the damn stars reminded him of her, like she was looking at him through them.

"There you are." He hadn't even heard her come outside. "Was wondering where you'd gone."

"Felt like some air," Daryl replied, glimpsing her briefly.

"Room for another up there?"

He turned, pausing for a moment before offering her his hand. She gave him a faint little smile as she accepted. He grasped her hand and pulled her up beside him onto the hood. Daryl watched her get settled then resumed stargazing on his back as she settled down beside him and looked up at the sky.

"Sophia alright?"

"Yeah, she nodded off on the couch. Think survival Dixon style has worn her out."

Daryl laughed a little and turned to glance at her. "Yeah she did alright. She's an awesome kid."

Carol smiled back at him. "She is. I think she's taken a shine to you."

"Pfft," Daryl snorted bashfully. "Dunno why, I didn't do nothin'."

"Hardly. You've done more for her these past few days than her daddy's done in his whole life."

Daryl contemplating delving into exactly what he thought of Ed, but he swallowed the venom down, unwilling to let the mention of his name steal the sunshine from her eyes. He tried to think of something to say to change the subject but nothing came to him, so he just lay there in silence, his eyes on the stars.

"I was watching you both at the creek. Goofing around, letting her just be a kid. It meant the world to her… and to me."

He frowned awkwardly at the compliment, glad of the darkness to hide the blush in his cheeks. "Just figured she didn't get to do a whole lot of that, and neither did I. Couldn't waste the opportunity."

"Well last I heard you're not supposed to make so much noise when you're fishing." Carol mocked him, her voice softening as she then put joking aside. "Thank you, for what you did. I saw you, when you let the fish go. Throwing it back must have been hard."

"Goes against everything I was taught, but I dunno… guess she got to me." He looked back up at the stars. "I ain't never put one back before."

Carol lay silently beside him, her eyes pulling him in again. He didn't have to look at her to know that she was staring, like she was building up to something, searching for a way to get beneath the mask of the man she used to know. She remained still for a moment, then out of the corner of his eye he saw her face coming closer and felt her hot breath against his cheek seconds before her warm lips brushed up against the scruff on the side of his face. The minute she pulled back his head whipped to the side, his startled eyes filled with confusion. "What was that for?"

"For Sophia…and for me."

Carol continued to look at him in silence. Daryl studied her eyes, the facets glittering in the moonlight holding him captive. There was that damn tug in his chest again, sucking all the air out of his lungs and making his heart pump until it ached. His eyes flitted between her eyes and mouth, the fire behind his ribcage growing and growing until he felt like it might burst. All of a sudden his mouth was dry and his breathing was harder work than it should have been. He lay frozen to the spot beside her on the hood of the truck, his muscles paralysed by her soft gaze and the battle raging in his head. _Stop being a pussy and just do it!_

"It's late." Carol broke away looking flustered. "I should wake Sophia so we can head back."

Daryl let his eyes fall away as she shifted awkwardly away from him and slid off the hood, making her way back towards the cabin. He'd missed it. He had a chance and he'd fuckin' missed it. As soon as she disappeared back inside, his head hit the windshield hard, cursing himself out loud for being so stupid. He opened his eyes, hands flying to his temples and pressing hard, looking back up to the sky and trying to pinpoint what the hell he was doing. What exactly was he expecting from her? Fleeting images, fragments of daydreams flashed in his mind. Could he be that one person, _her_ person? Could he even begin to give her what she deserved, her and the kid? Would he even get the chance? The longing in his heart felt all the more suffocating now, almost unbearable to the point where he knew something, be it good or bad, was going to transpire soon, a fate yet hanging in the stars.

The front door of the cabin creaked open and Carol helped a sleepy Sophia out to the truck. Daryl opened the door and she climbed in, sliding along the seat. Daryl held out his hand and Carol paused for a moment before taking it and hopping in beside Sophia. He shut the door before moving around and getting in the driver's side. With a tinge of disappointment that she was going home, he started the engine and headed out.

Driving back in silence, aware of his still pounding heart, Daryl snuck a glance at the passenger side, the sight of the sleeping kid curled up beside her mother, making the decision for him. Maybe he wasn't anywhere near what they both deserved, but he would damn sure die trying to be.

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

Daryl helped her get Sophia upstairs to bed and watched as she settled her under the blankets before switching off the lamp and closing the door. Wordlessly he followed her downstairs, and part of her ached for him to stay, the words forming on her tongue but never making it. There didn't seem like a way she could ask him without feeling presumptuous or like it was the wrong thing to say. Something had shifted though, this much she knew. Something was different, hanging in the air between them. She dared to hope, pray that it wasn't just her imagination. The heat she felt every time she looked into his eyes spurred the little voice in her head to fuel the fire of her suspicions. _Wishful thinking, more like, _she thought. They hovered in the hallway, neither one sure when to speak or where to look. The blink of the red light on the answer phone provided a temporary distraction to her.

"I uh, guess I better go," he finally croaked softly, eyes flitting uncertainly, like he was asking a question instead of confirming his departure.

"Yeah, I guess so," she replied quietly. "Thanks for today, Sophia had a great time… and so did I. Thank you."

Daryl nodded a crooked half smile at her. "Anytime." He whispered, hovering in the doorway, the cogs in his mind turning like he had something to say. He shrugged off whatever it was. "G'night Carol."

"Goodnight." Carol watched as he strode out to his pickup and her eyes followed him all the way down the street until he was out of sight, leaving a cold, empty chasm inside her.

She sighed sadly, head lolling on the doorframe momentarily, taking one last breath of the night air, not wanting to let today end, before closing the door and turning to head to the kitchen. The red light was still blinking on the phone but she was just too tired. Whatever it was could wait until morning. She fixed herself a glass of water to take up with her and made sure all the switches were off in the kitchen, like she did every night.

The click of the front door made her stomach flutter, the prospect of his almost immediate return making her heart sing.

"Did you forget someth-"

The glass fell from her hand and exploded on the kitchen tiles as she turned around. The large imposing figure now standing in the kitchen doorway leering at her with that painted on smile turned the sweetness in her heart to sulphur.

"Daddy's home."


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Well you guys really didn't like me last week for bringing back You Know Who! And you know what... that's okay. You're not gonna like me after this chapter either... or the next probably. Yes I am mean. Yes I love angst, and yes I am putting our beloved couple through the metaphorical wringer, but there is a reason for it! If you read the description of this story it says "No matter what life throws at you, some things never die." You'll understand eventually ;) things are about to blow up I shit you not! Patience my loves.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except a very twisted imagination. **

_**Ad Astra Per Aspera.**_

Chapter 21

Carol's breathing finally kickstarted again in a painful gasp, her stomach balled tightly as her brain tried to register what her eyes were seeing. The first thought that landed on her like a house from the chaotic whirl in her mind was why she hadn't locked the door_. Shit. _She was always so careful, but the day's pull on her concentration had completely wiped the action from her thought process. His dark, flinty eyes gleamed across the room at her, dead and lifeless, like a shark's eyes. She felt sick.

"Well? Ain't ya gonna welcome me home?"

Carol tried to speak, but the words scrambled in her mouth. "I-I… How-"

"Looks like I made bail," Ed smirked through lips that reminded her of liver, sauntering his way to the kitchen table, making her instinctively shift away, an unconscious movement not quite forgotten yet. "Did ya miss me?"

A cold shiver rippled over her body at the question. Truth be known, she'd hardly given him a second thought for days, the brief reminders quickly brushed away by thoughts of Daryl. Now he was here, pulling out a chair to sit at the kitchen table, fixing her with a look she'd never seen before, a look that scared her more than when he flew into raging bull mode. His hurricane force temper was something she'd experienced often enough, and while that scared her, at least she knew how to deal with it. This was like walking into a tunnel with her eyes shut.

Carol's eyes caught the red bleep in the hallway again and she realised too late it must've been from Lori. Rick would have known if Ed were being released and surely warned her. Panic crept up her throat as she figured before too long they would come looking for her, and here she was trapped in her own kitchen. He sat, pinning his eyes on her, unreadable and unyielding. Something was off, a chill settling in to her bones as she forced herself to meet his stare.

"I didn't know they had let you out," Carol replied, trying to swallow back the bile rising up in her throat.

Ed studied her silently, his eyes wandering over her frame sleazily, before arriving again at her eyes. Her cheeks began to burn and she retreated from his gaze, the humiliation creeping over her in an overwhelming tide. She had come so far in the few short weeks out of the darkness of his shadow, and the way he was looking at her now shook the fragile new foundations she'd started to build. Something in his eyes made her feel like he knew she'd grown bolder, stronger, and laughed right in the face of her resilience. Bringing her down was something he excelled at, and he clearly hadn't lost his touch. It somehow seemed worse like this, without the yelling and the punching and the crying. The humiliation was more potent; he knew he could crush the tiniest glimmer of hope beneath his boot with barely any effort, but he was saving it. He would have his fun first.

"Hair's growin' in nice," he smiled, not altogether unkindly but still with the power to make her skin feel alive with a thousand crawling vermin.

Carol hazarded a quick glance back at him, eyes working against her grudgingly. He still hadn't broken eye contact and the longer it went on the heavier she felt. Now along with the shock there was a niggle of irritation burrowing into her muscles, making her fidget.

"What are you doing here?" The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.

Ed considered her for a moment, the tiniest thread of anger just visible beneath his candy façade. "Well, this is my house. I pay the mortgage, all the bills. Where else would I be?"

Carol paused, rolling the words over on her tongue before committing to them, avoiding his eyes completely. "You're not allowed to come near us. Rick said-"

"Rick Grimes needs to mind his own damn business," Ed retorted, pulling a cigarette from the pack in his pocket. "Him and that other asshole. Actin' like they own the place, well they don't own me."

Carol blanched at his blasé response. He wasn't a stupid man; far from it, Ed was sharp as a pin. He knew the outcome of breaking the rules would mean he went straight back to prison, but showing such carefree abandon in the face of repercussions meant he either didn't care, or he had a plan. Carol knew which she feared more. Ed hunted in his pockets for a light, his momentary distraction giving her time to sneak around to the doorway. She felt safer with him on the other side of her; at least she'd have a chance if he decided to turn nasty.

"No up-his-own-ass cop tells me where I can and can't go," Ed stated firmly, between plumes of smoke. "This is my house, I call the damn shots."

Carol tensed with irritation. He was always so damn presumptuous and self assured, never questioning himself or his actions. She let his reply sink in, the words settling on her skin like slime, unwelcome and cold. This felt wrong, all of it. She had been here before, standing on the other side of the kitchen while he stared her down, but something inside her now was different. Parts of her that had seemed dead for a long time itched to reignite, and stand up to him. Powerless to stop herself, the words came creeping out.

"No, you don't. Not anymore."

The look he speared back at her could have impaled but she stood her ground. It somehow fuelled what was coming, and she willed it to the surface, the danger of his reaction making her chest bang furiously. The paint was starting to melt from his mask, his true nature peeking through, the Ed she knew all too well never very far away, but still he held his nerve, waiting to play his trump card.

"Oh yeah? And how's that?" Ed sneered, waiting for her to make her move.

"You can't just come back and expect things to go back to how they were Ed," she bit back, eyeing him adamantly. "Things have changed."

And it was then she saw it. A tiny flicker in his eyes, but it hit her like a bolt of lightning. He knew. Of course he knew. He saw everything, one way or another. She should've known that somehow it would have gotten back to him what was unravelling in his absence.

"Yeah, so I been hearin'," he glared, the half smile on his face curling into a snarl.

She searched his face for confirmation but she knew him too well to assume he would give it up easily. He enjoyed playing with her, watching her squirm; like a cat taunting a mouse before taking a swipe at it, and she knew he was going to relish every second of her torment.

"I-I don't…" she stuttered, trying to find the strength in her voice again as it tried to creep away. "What do you mean?"

Ed put another cigarette to his lips and lit it, taking his time, drawing out her discomfort before studying her pensively, savouring every moment. He dragged deeply on his smoke, blowing it out of his nose in precise, steady streams. Carol refused the urge to breathe deeply to calm her banging heart; she'd almost forgotten how much she hated the smell of smoke in the house. She wanted to scream at him to answer her, but she knew that was exactly what he wanted, and she wouldn't give him the satisfaction. She had to stand firm. The anger was bubbling low in her belly, threatening to come undone if he kept up this cruelty.

"While the cat's away the mouse will play, huh?" He drawled, staring into space, his eyes glazed and distant. His tone had grown detached and ominous, and creeped her out in a way it never had before. He sounded crazy.

She eyed him warily, frozen to the spot, her fleeting courage waning back into the shadows and the familiar knot of fear tying itself around her stomach once again. She had been foolish to think she could be strong, daring to challenge him. She was weak, and he knew how to play her until she would break. Eventually she had to tear her eyes away from his unsettling trance. "I don't know what you're talking about."

As quickly as turning on a light switch, Ed was back in the room. "Oh I think you do."

He stood and sauntered slowly across the room, his eyes pensive and focused on the floor, working out his next move, and she could feel herself backing away unconsciously. The glittering shards from the glass she had dropped on the floor crunched under his boot as he turned to face her.

"Been havin' a little fun while I been gone?"

She knew it wasn't a question. Her gut fought the urge to heave as she tried to think how she was going to dig herself out of this hole.

"What? Ain't got nothin' to say?" Ed ducked his head, trying to catch her eyes like a child being told off for bad behaviour.

"There's nothing to tell," Carol insisted, avoiding his stare.

"Uh uh… now we know what happens to liars, don't we?"

She tried to hold it together, the telltale tightening of her throat and needles prickling her eyes making it very difficult. She couldn't let him see her upset, couldn't give him the thrill of knowing he'd won again. No words she could think of sufficed to beat him down, so she kept quiet, knowing he wasn't done yet. Her bottom lip quivered slightly as she clamped her mouth shut, trying to hold it in. He already knew, he just wanted her to surrender and revel in punishing her.

"Well since we already know you're a lying whore, I'll do the talking. I been gone, what, not even 3 weeks? And you've been screwin' that dirty redneck fuck in my bed. Didn't take ya long, did it?"

The accusation caught her off guard, but the blood that rushed to her cheeks proclaimed her guilty. Of course it wasn't true, but the thoughts that now filled her head at night must have been scrawled all over her face, and she knew he could read her like the pages of a diary.

"I don't-"

"Don't dig yourself any deeper," Ed interrupted. "You're blushin' like a fuckin' schoolgirl. Did ya think I wouldn't find out?"

"I haven't done anything wrong," she replied, her voice starting to break as he moved towards her slowly.

"Ya had that dumb hillbilly fuck in my house, I'd say that's wrong."

Carol wanted to claw his eyes out for talking about Daryl like that, but Ed had her in his palm ready to squash her like a bug. If she defended Daryl she would be in even deeper water.

"Don't come any closer," she squeaked, backing out into the hallway and turning to reach for the phone.

He grabbed her by the wrist and spun her, pinning her back against the wall with such velocity it forced a frightened yelp from her. There was no trace of amusement left in his eyes now. Cold, black, lifeless. Just how she remembered them. Glaring down at her, crushing the air from her lungs, his breath now prickling her body in terror.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Carol swallowed hard against the lump of panic in her throat as Ed took the receiver from her hand and put it back, his huge clammy hand constricting her wrist painfully, never taking his eyes off her. She became aware she was breathing hard and for one awful moment the look in his eyes made her fear he would kiss her. As if he had read her mind, he leaned in until his nose was almost touching hers, his sour breath forcing her to suppress a gag as she tried to turn her face away.

"Would do ya some good to remember who's in charge around here. I expected the last lesson I taught ya to still be fresh in your mind. Maybe we need to revisit a few things…"

The shrill ringing of the phone next to her made Carol jump. Ed didn't react at all, just kept her pinned to the wall with his Arctic glare, and she wondered how the hell she was going to get out of this, if she ever did. Ed turned his head in response before looking back at her. "Ain't ya gonna answer it?"

Carol avoided his wide eyed stare, the screeching ring of the telephone almost piercing her eardrums.

"Pick it up."

She eventually forced herself to look at him and was relieved when he backed off slightly to let her pick the receiver up. She took a deep breath before holding it to her ear and speaking.

"Hello?"

"Oh Carol, thank god I got you!" Lori breathed down the line, sounding agitated.

"Is everything alright?" Carol gripped the receiver anxiously. "You sound terrible."

"It's my dad… he's taken ill. They think it was a heart attack. Rick and Carl and I are flying out tonight. I left you a message but I guess you didn't get it. I just wanted to let you know we'll be out of town for a few days probably, so I'm gonna give you a note of the number you can reach us at. You got a pen?"

Carol rummaged in the desk drawer for a pen and paper and scribbled the number on a scrap she found. She realised a second too late she was breathing heavily, her heart still hammering on her ribcage, her wrist still throbbing.

"Are you alright?" Lori's voice echoed from the other end. "You sound out of breath."

"Oh, I'm fine, don't worry about me, I'm just a little worn out."

"If you need me for anything call me, okay?" Carol didn't miss the concern in Lori's voice. "Shane said he would check in on you too."

"I'm fine, just concentrate on your family. Give Carl a hug from me will you?"

"I will, thanks." The ping of a tannoy followed by an announcement filtered through. "Right I gotta go they're calling our flight now. I'll see you in a few days. Night honey."

"Alright, have a safe trip, goodnight."

Lori didn't know. The realisation hit her full force as she heard the final click of the phone on the other side of the line, cutting her off from warmth and safety, dumping her back in her cold hallway, alone with _him_. The silence was deafening as she waited for him to speak; it might as well have weighed a ton, it was suffocating her.

She lifted her eyelids just enough that he was in her field of vision, avoiding being drawn into the grip of his horrid glaring eyes. Her voice seemed a million miles away, her throat dry and rough, so much so she feared it would fail her if she tried to speak. The words were brittle, breaking before they had even left her mouth.

"Lori's father is sick, she and Rick are flying out tonight to see him."

When she could finally bring herself to look at him properly, the glee lurking in the black depths of his soulless stare made her shudder. She knew what he was thinking. With Rick and Lori out of the picture, she was trapped; he could do whatever he wanted and there would be no one to save her. And… _oh god, Daryl_. There would be no way she could contact him, and if he came around… Looking into the murky pits fixed on her, Carol could feel that he knew all these things. He knew he had her exactly where he wanted her, and there wasn't a damn thing she could do. Nowhere to run… nowhere to hide.

Finally, he spoke. "Well, looks like it's just us now. All alone."

She backed into the wall where he'd had her pinned a few moments ago, his words shoving her back to where he could control her. He closed in on her again, his thick arms penning her in as he towered over her. Her body shrunk unconsciously, like it had done so many times before, and the tears pushed painfully at her eyes. All of a sudden the memory of that day on the bathroom floor was brutally vivid and the same panic started to claw at her throat. He had been crazed, but the look in his eyes now scared her even more. There was nothing human there, only a shadow with moving lips. She tried not to flinch when he brought one of his hands up to her face, stroking her cheek and making her want to shrivel up. He leaned in, his hot, stale breath sending waves of discomfort rippling across her skin as he whispered in her ear.

"You're mine, just remember that. I catch that prick sniffin' round my house again… I'mma kill him. I'll strangle the prick with my bare hands while you watch."

Carol fought the retch that was building in her chest, the bile surging rapidly up her throat making her mouth water. An unwelcome thumb traced her bottom lip as she braced herself against the tears she knew would fall eventually. She was shaking.

"Don't fuck with me," he whispered against her mouth, his rubbery lips mere millimetres away from her own, his hand now clamped under her chin.

Satisfied with his work, Ed released her face roughly, backing away with his leering shark's eyes still locked on her. He gave her a derogatory last look up and down, and with a smirk, took himself upstairs to bed. The second she heard the click of the bedroom door, she slid down the wall and clamped her eyes shut against the flood, pulling her knees to her face and burying her head. She couldn't let him hear her crying, not again. The hot bullets forced their way out of her eyes regardless, but she had to stay in control. The last time, she'd been so close to ending it all. She couldn't go there again.

Carol dried her eyes and hauled herself up off the floor. She pushed the living room door and sank onto the couch. There was no way she would go to bed tonight. The lazy lull of sleep that had been creeping up on her in Daryl's truck little over an hour ago was gone. She was on alert now, her mind whirring in hurricane mode again, questions screeching white noise at her and yielding no answers. What was she going to tell Sophia? She had been so scared that day they had dragged Ed out of the house in a blaze of rage. She'd only just started to come back to her, and it was largely down to her blossoming friendship with Daryl. Now Ed was back, and her baby was sound asleep upstairs none the wiser. She imagined Sophia's frightened expression the next morning and her heart sank.

Then there was Daryl. She couldn't ignore what her heart was screaming at her anymore; she could feel him in there, taking up a space that only he could, against everything she had drilled into her brain to stop herself getting hurt again. Just as effortlessly as they had begun to fit together again, Ed had come in like a bulldozer and destroyed everything. He always won in the end, and it was so unfair. Fresh pinpricks stabbed at her eyes and she tried to blink them away. She swallowed the lump in her throat and for a moment, held her breath. When she let go it all came pouring out. Droplets soaked into the cushion hugged tightly to her chest as it all came crashing down around her.

By the time she had cried herself dry of tears, it was light outside.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Well this is the one I am expecting absolute pelters for, but it's okay... because we have the episode on Sunday to look forward to! Big thank you to my bestie Em (kaoscraze82) for her help with this chapter which has been changed about 3 million times. Without any further ado, here you go. This one... oh boy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TWD or any of its characters, I just like torturing them... apparently ;)**

Chapter 22

Sleep hadn't come to him easily. The minute he got into bed he'd known it was a waste of time. His brain wouldn't shut off; all he could see was her face every time he closed his eyes. Her bright eyes smiling back at him and making his chest tighten and his face burn until he had to look away. Daryl knew he was screwed. He'd only ever felt this way once before, but that was a hundred years ago. Yesterday though… yesterday he had felt almost complete. Spending the whole day with Carol and Sophia had made him lighter, something inside him giving way and leaving him feeling all the emptier at the thought of the day having to end. He'd been on the verge of asking them to stay over, not wanting them to leave. Then when he finally dropped them home he'd hovered like a jackass in her hallway, waiting. Waiting for what? He should have just taken a chance and hoped she didn't kick his ass out the door. But he didn't. He chickened out and ran away, as usual., unable to allow the feelings uncoiling inside him to speak their name.

He'd been so close to turning the truck around and heading back. The further away from her he got the more he had to fight his hands for control of the steering wheel. _Just go back and stop bein' a pussy. _His head had won out in the end and he drove home, slamming the door in exasperation behind him when he got there.

Collapsing on to the couch, he'd thrown his head back, grabbing handfuls of dark hair and trying to work out what the hell was going on in his head. She didn't need this, any of it, but he was going out of his mind. He'd tried not to let it in, tried to push the thoughts away by telling himself he didn't deserve another chance, and that she'd never trust him with her heart ever again. He'd allowed himself to think the past had fizzled out, forgotten in the passing of a few short weeks, and that she was seeing him through new eyes that hadn't felt that fifteen year old sting. He was just kidding himself.

After a night of tossing, turning, broken sleep, Daryl had eventually gotten settled and managed to get a few hours sleep. In his torment he'd forgotten to set his alarm for work and slept well past his start time. By the fourth time Dale called him he had stirred enough to hear his cell phone vibrating on the table and scrambled out of bed, pulling on his clothes and uttering a string of obscenities at himself. The thought of going to work could have appealed less to him. He didn't figure he'd be much use today, but anything had to be better than sitting around the house feeling sorry for himself. He decided he would take the bike for a change, hoping that the fresh air might blow some of the fog from his mind and help him think a bit more clearly.

The sky was stirring. It was the hottest summer on record, and there had been little rain to speak of, the moisture hanging on the air instead of falling to the ground. Daryl half hoped the heavens would open as he rode to work, needing something, anything, to wash away the chaos in his head. The humidity was suffocating him.

The day before played on a loop in his mind. Spending time alone with her and Sophia had brought him more happiness than he'd known in his whole adult life, and it scared him. He was so close to something he'd ached for, for as long as he could remember, and equally as close to it disappearing through his fingers like sand. He'd built it up so much in his head… if it were to crumble beneath his feet now he didn't even want to consider the fallout. The truth was staring him in the face, and he was only just beginning to acknowledge the gravity of it all.

Pulling into Dale's Autos he found himself running off a makeshift apology to Dale, his brain still foggy from sleep, not even sure the words he notched together made any sense. He really wasn't in the mood for a lecture. He cut his engine and got off the bike, chewing the inside of his mouth and deciding just to go in and get it over with so he could get on with some damn work. Walking towards the office he glowered to himself, knowing he'd probably held Dale up by being late.

As he approached the office he first heard the distinct gossipy hush of Mrs Richards, imparting the latest from around town no doubt. His scowl deepened; he especially wasn't in the mood for that old crone today. He turned to walk away, and stopped mid step when he heard the alarm in Dale's voice.

"Are you sure it was him?"

"Positive," Mrs Richards affirmed. "I've lived on that street my whole life and I know everyone who's lived there over the years. I'm telling' ya it was Ed Peletier.

The words hit him like a kick to the stomach; that name ringing in his ears like some god awful knell. He wondered for a minute if he'd imagined it, his head still dopey with tiredness, but as he turned around and crept apprehensively towards the door the voices continued to sicken him with reality.

"They let him out late last night. I heard a noise out in the yard so I went to peek out my side window but I couldn't see anything. Anyway, late this morning I went out to check on my poor petunias - they are just dying in this heat - and I looked up, and sure enough I saw him walking out to his car! He got in and took off outta there like a bat out of hell. Lord knows where he was going at that speed! I went to knock on the door to see if she was all right but she just smiled and told me it was fine like nothing had happened! She must've taken him back in… not that she would've had much choice in the matter, poor thing. I saw her take the girl to school this morning. Little dear looked ready to burst."

Daryl's blood sizzled in his veins as he burst into the room, unable to listen to any more, his heart thumping loudly in his ears now as the storm brewed violently within him. Mrs Richards almost leapt out of the window with fright and Dale looked visibly startled. Daryl could see the dread in his eyes, the uncertainty of how much he'd heard before he came barrelling into the room. A flicker in Dale's eyes told Daryl he knew he'd heard enough.

Mrs Richards gasped and clutched her chest. "Oh heavens!"

"Is it true?" Daryl barked at her, his fuse burning rapidly.

"Daryl-" Dale tried to intervene.

"Is it?!" Daryl repeated, his chest heaving now, well aware that he was on the verge of breaking down or blowing up.

The old woman looked terrified and he would feel like a total jackass later but right now all he could hear beneath the pulse in his ears was her shrill voice repeating Ed Peletier's name on a loop. She looked at him uncertainly and her eyes shifted to Dale briefly before she settled herself and focused on Daryl again.

Daryl felt a hand on his shoulder and flinched, spinning around to an alarmed looking Dale. The old man gave him an apologetic look.. "Daryl, please. I know this is tough, but you can't-"

"Y'know maybe all of y'all are happy to sit with your fuckin' heads in the sand, pretendin' like ya don't see what's goin' on, but I ain't gonna join ya!" Daryl exploded, swinging his arm in disgust and heading for the door again.

"Daryl wait!" Dale tried to follow him, panic rising in his voice.

Daryl shrugged his hand off with a grunt. "Back off man."

Dale retreated and Daryl felt a momentary pang of guilt, but right now all he could focus on was getting to his bike and getting to her as fast as he could. He stormed across the yard to where he'd parked it and swung into the seat with such momentum he almost toppled it. He could feel Dale's concerned eyes watching him as he started the engine and pulled away.

His blood pulsed in his veins like lava. Ed being out was bad enough, but hearing that Carol had just taken him back in made him want to spit nails. She was starting to come back to him, little pieces of the girl he used to know glimmering beneath the murky water and rising to the surface, only for that piece of shit to drag her back down again. He had to see her. The thought of her going back there, back into the shadows, to live with some jerk off that didn't deserve her… he couldn't let her. And Sophia… that crazy kid had a hold on him too. His boiling rage fuelled a sudden determination to get them both out of there, no matter what.

The sky grumbled overhead, the humidity building by the minute, electricity charging the air and surging through his veins. He rode like a demon, the raw anger pumping through his chest, making him grip the handlebars until his knuckles turned white. It was dangerous territory he was in now. He'd always had a short temper but this had gone almost beyond his control. Nothing had ever rattled him so much. The more he'd seen of them, got to feel like he was part of a family, the harder it would be to tear himself away. But to have them taken from him? No way… not if he had anything to do with it.

Daryl pulled up outside Carol's house and cut the engine on his bike. He stared at the front door, trying to psyche himself up for whatever awful reality awaited him behind it, bracing himself for whatever came next. His jaw ached, set in a hard line as he glared at the property.

He heaved himself off the bike, charging his way up the garden path and hammering on the door. His chest rose and fell rapidly, the adrenaline in his system driving every bodily function. When there was no answer he banged again until his hand throbbed, before finally the door creaked open just enough that she could see out.

"Daryl what are you doing here? I can't see you."

Carol tried to close the door but he blocked it with his foot. "I gotta talk to you."

"There's nothing to say. Please just go, someone might see you."

"Man I couldn't give a damn if anyone sees me, just open the door."

"No Daryl, please just leave us alone," she squeaked, panic and irritation rising in her throat.

"Like hell I will. We can have this conversation here in full view of your damn neighbours or we can go someplace quiet. Either way, we're talkin'."

"Daryl I can't…"

"I'll sit here all day. I got nowhere to be."

He locked her in a determined stare, his steely blue eyes pinning her down and she knew that he meant it. Rather than risk a scene and have Ed come home to him on her front lawn, she clearly felt like she had no choice.

"Alright, I'll come. Wait around the corner, I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Don't go backing out, told ya I ain't got nowhere to be."

"Okay just go!" she snapped in defeat, forcing the door closed.

Daryl waited around the corner at the bottom of her street, hidden reasonably well by the large canopy of trees. Ten minutes later she appeared, just as he was getting ready to make his way back up and forcibly sit her ass down on the bike. The sight of her trudging towards him made his chest tighten. She was even more beautiful when she was all wound up, making his heart jump around in his chest like crazy. It would have been funny if he wasn't so angry, seeing her stomping towards him with a face like thunder.

"Well I'm here, say what you came to say." She looked away dismissively.

He threw his helmet at her, harder than he'd meant to, catching her right in the stomach as she caught it awkwardly and looked at him in horror. "Get on."

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

The bike ride had an atmosphere all its own. She'd held on to him in silence, reluctantly tightening her grip only for support going around corners then releasing again, trying to put as much distance between them as she could. He felt the tension between them like a wall, vibrating down her arms. He knew he was going to have his work cut out trying to get through to her.

He deliberately took them in the direction of the picturesque little hilltop they'd visited once before, in another lifetime when they'd taken Merle's bike and skipped school. The little beauty spot overlooked the town but it was pretty much in a little world of its own and he knew they wouldn't be disturbed. Maybe here she would be more receptive to reason, the pull of things as they once were might be enough to pull her out of the way things were now. Either way, he had to try.

The motorbike puttered to a halt and Carol couldn't launch herself off quick enough. Her efforts to not be close to him at all were astounding and he couldn't resist a wry snort at her resolve. As the first tiny spots of rain began to prickle his face, he watched her rip off the helmet and glance around uncomfortably. This had been a special place once upon a time, and now she couldn't look less thrilled to be here, like somehow she knew what was coming, and having the past thrust in her face again made it harder to stick to her plan. Daryl hoped it would make her see sense at least, remind her of how much she'd changed, that she was acting damn crazy.

"Okay what's this about?"

"You know damn well what," Daryl fumed at her. "He gets out an' all of a sudden you're back with him?"

"It's not like that." She nearly whispered, her eyes trained on the ground as her hands fiddled with the buttons on her cardigan. "Daryl, he's my husband."

"He don't give a fuck about ya, you know that right? He'd see you dead before he thought twice about it!"

"It's… different now." She forced the words out unconvincingly. "He's changed. We're… trying to work through it… for Sophia. She needs her daddy."

"Like hell she does!" Daryl growled, his arm swinging in disgust. "That girl needs to be as far away from that prick as she can get!"

"It's none of your business!"

"I'm makin' it my business," he snarled, his eyes narrowing. "You look me in the eye and you tell me how you're gonna explain to Sophia what happened the next time he hits ya. You gonna tell her it was your fault? That you deserved it? That kid ain't stupid and neither am I!"

"My daughter is nothing to you!"

"You fuckin' kiddin' me?" He gasped, seething. "What the fuck have I been doin' the past few weeks? You know damn well she ain't just nothin' to me! How long's it gonna be before he starts beatin' on her too huh? How long before she gotta go to school with a black eye to match mama's?!"

"STOP IT! Just stop!" Carol's cheeks were red with anger, and he could see tears welling in her eyes. She drew a deep breath, trying to fight back the swell of the tide, as if she knew she was just kidding herself. "Look, whatever he's done, he's my husband… Sophia's daddy. I made vows before God, I can't just forget them. I've moved on with my life, you should too."

"Like I'm gonna believe that crap. Ya think I came down in the last fuckin' shower huh? Think I don't see it?"

Carol eyed him in confusion. "See what?"

"What you're try'na do." He approached her quickly, eyes wide and fixated on her. "Shut everyone out, cut your ties so ya don't get hurt again. Problem is it ain't that easy is it?"

Her eyes ensnared him, brimming with hurt and venom. "What do you care? I'm not your problem Daryl! I'm not the one who came crashing back into your life again looking for something that died a long time ago!"

His lips tightened in a hard line, stung by her attack, trying to keep it together and not lash back. A hint of a growl hung in his throat, his entire body vibrating with rage. Not at her, rather at her stubbornness, a trait of hers he had always loved. Now though it seemed like it was just a front for pure stupidity and it was coming back to bite him on the ass; he wanted to shake it out of her.

"How can you stand there and pretend you ain't my problem?" He retorted. "How long til you end up on my doorstep beggin' me to take you and Sophia in cause you got nowhere else to go?"

"I can think of plenty of people I'd go to before I come to you."

"Oh yeah?" He scoffed. "Well I ain't seen ya complainin' the past few weeks I been helpin' you out."

Carol turned away from him, walking towards the little nook of trees where they'd once stood. "Yeah, well a few weeks doesn't just paint over fifteen years."

Her retort hit him like a boot to the ribcage. Daryl knew she was lashing out and that he deserved it, but the words hurt all the same. His rage lulled for a moment, the lump in his throat overriding the adrenaline that had been propelling him onwards. He was beginning to realise that maybe going in all guns blazing wasn't the best way to tackle this. He tried to appease her, the last thing he needed was her shutting him out altogether. It had been too long already. "M'sorry."

"So am I." She sniffled, her face turning back towards him reluctantly. "There was a time when I would have done anything for you Daryl. But I can't do this anymore."

Daryl stared back at her through the rain, coming down in sheets, pelting his skin with heavy pellets. She looked so small and scared, like a drowning animal as she stood there looking back at him, her eyes raw with the pain of the decision she was trying to make. The guilt twisted in his chest like a knife, guilt almost two decades old that had faded as he'd spent time with her and Sophia, becoming part of their little world. He knew that he couldn't leave it like this, couldn't let her go again, but he had no idea where to even start. He wanted to reach out for her, but she looked as if she might break at the slightest touch. Carol looked more uncomfortable as the seconds ticked by, the reality and frustration of it all resonating with her too. He could see the struggle between head and heart in her eyes, hovering on her lower lids ready to spill down her cheeks. Dragging her gaze away from him, she tried to brush past him, nothing else he could say that would keep her here.

"Don't," he pleaded, his voice breaking as he blocked her path. "I'm here now and I ain't goin' anywhere. Don't shut me out."

"Don't shut you out?!" Carol screeched, her voice straining at the top of its pitch, perforated by the building crescendo of rain. "Do you have any idea how hard this is for me? I tried so hard to forget one of the worst times in my entire life, and I almost managed it! I thought I could move on and live without you, but no, you had to come charging back in looking for a way to play the big hero, trying to fix everything!"

"That ain't why I came back." He tried to keep his voice calm but the anger was still simmering around the edges. "But I'm _here_! That's gotta count for something."

She shook her head. "No, it's too late."

"It ain't too late."

"We don't all get to have a happy ending! Remember what you said? Cause I do. 'Whatever fairytale shit's goin' on in your head it ain't real.' Yeah, well you know what?-" she sniffed back hot, angry tears.

"Don't-"

"I learned that a long time ago. So thank you!"

Daryl grabbed her by the wrist, his voice thick and raw. "Stop it."

"Let me go!"

"God dammit, I ain't ever lettin' you go again!"

She fought for her breath, letting the tears seep out of her eyes, and before she could react he backed her into the tree, overcome with the need to do what he couldn't fight against any longer. Carol resisted momentarily before her body relaxed against him with a sweet yelp, returning his kiss. The heavens opened up and the rain fell with biblical ferocity around them, the furious pattering of leaves making it impossible to hear anything, the feel of her quickening pulse under his fingertips sending his body into a frenzy. His fingers wound into her wet hair as he kissed her breathless, devouring her like a starving wolf. For a moment it was as perfect as the storm swirling above them in the clouds, two fronts coming together in a breathtaking collision. His heart ached for her, and for a second he could feel hers ache in reply through the hungry movement of her mouth against his, through her sweet sobs in between. Then all too soon felt the illusion fizzling out as her strength came back and she was shoving against him with all her might, pushing him away. His mouth felt bereft and longed for more of her but before he could dwell on it Carol swung her free hand at his face and it connected with a hard, wet slap. She exhaled a tearful growl; her eyes pained at the realisation of what she had just done. His cheek burned and throbbed where she had struck him, but the pain was nothing compared to the guilt of what he had just forced on her.

"I deserved that," he said quietly, holding his face.

They exchanged silent glances, adrenaline fuelled breaths now audible as the shower eased off a bit, both waiting for the other to speak first. When it looked like they might both stand there staring at each other for the next decade, Daryl finally broke the ice.

"Look, I-"

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have… you've… we've both had enough of that to last a lifetime."

"Yeah, only difference is, I don't still have to put up with it."

"Daryl…" Her voice was softer, the bottled up pressure now released. "You have to forget about it. It's not your problem."

Daryl looked at her with heavy eyes through the strands of hair plastered to his face. "You've always been my problem."

"Daryl-"

"Ain't ever been a day I didn't think about ya." Daryl swallowed the lump in his throat, well aware his voice was trembling as much as his hands. "There ain't been nobody else. I tried but… I couldn't. They weren't you."

She looked at him with wide wet eyes and he felt like his heart might burst out of his chest as he tried to stem the flow of his own tears. He traced the contours of her face, his gaze flickering between her eyes and mouth, longing to be that close to her again. He'd never opened himself up like that, and it scared him to even put words to the thoughts in his head, but he was giving himself up to her completely. She gaped at him, cheeks streaming with rain and salty rivers, unsure what to say next, her eyes only giving away her intent at the very last second with a flicker of a look that broke his heart.

She wiped at her eyes in vain, shaking her head as she turned away to leave him. "No."

"Carol please," he grabbed her by the wrist, his eyes shiny and pleading. "Don't go."

"I have to. I can't do this again."

"Do what?"

"Please just let me go," she squeaked feebly.

"Look at me," he demanded, his eyes seeking the answer again.

"I can't fall in love with you again." Carol's bottom lip quivered as she pulled her hand free from his, unable to keep in the little sob that sent a knife into his chest. "I can't."

She spun round, dragging herself away from him, dragging his broken heart behind her in the mud. He watched her go through eyes that were blurry, unable to go after her, an emptiness he knew all too well filling his heart with lead, weighing him down to the earth. This was the second time she'd left him like this, but somehow this pain stung even deeper. It felt all too final. As he chewed his bottom lip and failed to stop tears falling from heavy eyelids, Daryl let the skies open and fall down on him.


	23. Chapter 23

**_A/N: Well here we are at Chapter 23, and the countdown is on to the finale! (of this) Did we all enjoy the Caryl episode? I'm still on a Caryl high which has given me some of my mojo back so yay! _**

**_Thank you to everyone who has followed and enjoyed this story for what it is... You know who you are and you shall be rewarded for your undying loyalty and support and I love you all. _**

**_Haters gon' hate ;)_**

**_Disclaimer: TWD and its characters do not belong to me. I belong to them. No copyright intended blah blah blah._**

Chapter 23

Her clothes had hung heavily on her skin, completely saturated by the rain as she trudged home. She'd staggered all the way on autopilot, unable to see where she was going, her eyes stinging as hot tears came in fits and starts. Her body was numb with the chill that had crept in. By the time she got to her front door it had developed into a full blown monsoon again. She'd taken the key from her pocket but she couldn't lift her arm to put it in the lock. She stood with her head hanging down, letting the torrent soak her again, unable to think, unable to feel anything other than the pain coiling around her. She didn't even remember getting from there to a quivering puddle on the hallway floor, sobbing herself breathless, clutching the rug as if it might bring some consolation, an outlet for her grief, but no such comfort came. It hurt more than any beating she'd ever taken from Ed, and she remembered that day lying on the bathroom floor, wanting the ground to swallow her up. It hurt more than even that.

Somehow she'd managed to drag herself up and take a shower, her soaking clothes now in the washing machine. The water was almost scalding, and she stood under it without flinching, letting the stream run right over her head as she leaned against the cold tiles. It trickled off her eyelashes, the bridge of her nose, her chin. She fell into a trance, staring at the shower curtain until her eyes hurt, making shapes before her like some scene out of a slasher movie, half expecting Ed to rip the curtain back at any moment and come at her with a knife. How she was feeling in that moment, she wouldn't have fought him. In all probability she'd have walked right into it.

He never came though, and before she knew it the bathroom was so full of steam that when she pulled the curtain back she couldn't see two feet in front of her. Her skin pulsed from the relentless scalding beat of the water as she turned the shower off and grabbed her towel from the rail.

As she stepped out and wrapped herself in the towel she felt like she weighed a ton. The day pressed heavily on her shoulders, and it was clear how heavily when she waved a wet hand across the steamy mirror. Her eyes were swollen and bloodshot from crying, the light that had burned so brightly in them the past few weeks now dampened out. Her hair had grown only a little, still too long to pass for tidy but too short to do anything with, jutting out in wet kinks from her head. She had barely noticed the colour fading as streaks of grey had crept in rapidly under her radar, now presenting themselves boldly. The sight of herself was enough to bring pinpricks rushing to the back of her eyes and throat again, a strangled sob finally breaking free, hanging in the air as she closed her eyes and tried not to see his face. But it was there, seared into her mind like the glare from the sun on a summer's day. His blue eyes smiled at her, his sweet mouth curving up at the edges in that half smirk she had always loved so much, and she was crying again.

Carol wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly cold as the heat rushed from her skin in the damp air. _This isn't fair. _Her mouth twisted into a snarl as she cleared numerous bottles and tubes from the top of the sink with one furious swing of her arms, the scream of defiance that followed all but drowning out the clatter they made as they hit the floor. She gripped the sink, gasping for breath, the sobs still choking her as she held on. The moment was fleeting; the notion immediately leaving her unsatisfied as she surveyed the mess through watery eyes, knowing that before too long she would be on her hands and knees cleaning it up before _he _got home.

She did just that, wiping her face with the heel of her palm, picking each item up and carefully setting it back in its place on the sink before heading out of the bathroom to go get dressed. She couldn't waste anymore time crying. Sophia would be out of school soon, and it had been hard enough to convince the child this morning that everything was alright, and that there was no need to worry about her. Seeing her mother with red rimmed eyes that had quite clearly been crying all day would not help matters. She had to toughen up, put her feelings aside and be a rock for Sophia.

The day passed with agonising slowness. Carol picked Sophia up from school, by which time thankfully the rain had stopped and the sun was trying to tear through the blanket of cloud. They walked home in relative silence, that quietness that Daryl had chased away before now creeping back into Sophia's demeanor. Carol had to bite her lip and just concentrate on her footsteps as they walked, counting each one in her head. One foot in front of the other until they were home.

The rest of the evening followed suit; Sophia offering little smiles at dinner, quiet answers when Carol asked her about school, obviously distracted by the dark cloud hanging over both their heads. She felt so guilty, putting Sophia through all of this again because she was too damn scared to take a chance at something more for once in her life. The thoughts plagued her as she got Sophia settled in bed and decided to take a quick lie down in her bed before Ed got home.

She hadn't slept beside him last night - she just couldn't. She hadn't slept at all, sitting up all night on the couch and now her body was completely wrecked with exhaustion. It had been an upsetting day and all she wanted for five minutes was to just lie down and close her eyes. But the minute she lay down her mind whirred into action again, the silence giving life to thoughts she had been keeping out all day.

All she could think about was his face, his poor sweet face when she'd hit him, the hurt that had flooded his eyes as she'd left him standing there in the rain. That kiss had taken her by surprise; it was all she had ever wanted, and she'd been unable to fight it any longer, giving in for one selfish heartbeat before the voice in her head screamed her down and pushed him back. She curled up on her side, her hand under the pillow as she stared at the wall, her eyes slipping out of focus as the day replayed over and over again in her head. She had blown possibly the only chance she would ever have of being happy and safe… and loved. And for what?

Her thoughts were shattered by the front door swinging shut with a loud clatter. She froze in her skin. The beside clock beamed 3AM at her; she had been awake all night, torturing herself and now she had missed her chance to get out of this situation by really being asleep. Carol could hear his laboured, incoherent breaths as he hovered in the hallway, trying to get his bearings before the first footstep on the stairs. That sound, his heavy boot on that first step made the little voice in her head shriek at her. _Run. Run before he gets up here. Get Sophia and just push past him, he's drunk, you can do it. _Her body was unresponsive. She couldn't move and as the dreadful slow thumping of his boots on the stairs got closer and closer, she found herself curling up tighter, a tremor coming unbidden from her gut.

He was absolutely wrecked by the sounds of it; his steps slow and shuffling, and then a slight trip which drew a slurred curse word and a loud thud. He was at the top of the stairs now and she could hear him scuffing along the wall in the landing, the zip on his jacket making a scratching noise. The feeling of dread grew, like she expected some monster from a horror movie to poke its head around the door, and part of her thought she would much rather face that than him.

The second he touched the door she felt it rather than heard it, and it sent a jolt of raw panic clawing its way through her body, making her jump. He had to fumble to get the door opened but as soon as he did she could feel his lumbering frame standing idly in the doorway. Carol fixed her eyes on the bright red digits on the clock, eyes watering and wide with fear, tracing every broken line that made up the numbers. She could hear him nose breathing, long, staggered, drunken breaths that could easily be mistaken for someone asleep in the same room. Except she knew sleep would be the last thing he had on his mind.

As he closed the door behind him, she could hear his belt was already undone and she fought the overwhelming urge to vomit. A white hot nausea gripped her as she sensed him staring, perverse flinty eyes washing over her and suddenly the sound of denim and buckles clattering to the floor. It made her jump again but she prayed he hadn't noticed. If she was lucky he was probably too pissed to see straight and would think she was asleep. The tactic had saved her on a few occasions from his bulk crushing her and his sour alcohol breath on her face, but tonight she feared it would not.

The moment she felt the dip in the mattress and his clammy hand digging into her arm the tears started to fall. Silent and relentless tears, sapping control from her body like those dreams where she tried to run but her legs wouldn't move, like she was underwater. His grip tightened as he pulled her towards him, and when she felt his exposed manhood pressing adamantly at the back of her thigh she wished for the ground to open up and swallow her.

She didn't know if she could endure this again; his weight crushing her as he thrusted greedily and without tenderness, not caring if he hurt her. It had been a long time since he'd last forced himself on her, but she could still see the last time vividly in her mind. She could still feel the stickiness of her thighs as she crept to the bathroom, the water from the shower scalding her skin as she tried to scrub his taint away, scrubbing and scrubbing herself until she was raw. She remembered crying most of the night, and throwing up, and worrying that Sophia would come to see what was wrong. The fear that paralysed her then was rearing its ugly head again. She could smell the whiskey on his breath and fought a reflexive gag. Then his tongue was on her neck, slithering its way upward to her ear and he was slipping his hand under her top. Every sinew and nerve in her body screamed at her to get up and get away, but the terror had her pinned to the bed. Carol shrunk back, tears soaking into the pillow as she turned to try and get away from him, trying to make herself as small as possible.

Suddenly the room was quiet again and Ed stopped moving. She could still feel and smell his awful breath on the nape of her neck, but he wasn't moving at all, his hand limp under her shirt. Carol fought the unbearable temptation to turn around and check if he was sleeping, but the loud rumbling snore that vibrated in the air and made her flinch seconds later was all the answer she needed. He had passed out, like he usually did when he'd been out drinking and playing poker with his buddies. He wouldn't be awake until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest.

Without another second's hesitation, she ripped the covers off and pushed herself out of bed, away from his grubby palms, away from the stench of stale whiskey. Grabbing what clothes she could find in the dark she pulled them on quickly, eyes never leaving him incase he stirred and hurried out of the room. Moving as quickly and quietly as she could, she burst into Sophia's room, rousing her urgently.

"Sophia," she whispered. "Baby come on, get up."

Sophia stirred slowly, eyes blinking sleepily against the bedroom light. "Mama, what's-"

"We gotta go baby, right now." Carol threw some clothes in Sophia's backpack. "We have to be very quiet."

Sophia was awake now, recognising the urgency in Carol's voice, slipping her boots on over the top of her pajamas and grabbing her jacket from the back of the door.

They crept out of Sophia's room and carefully descended the stairs. Carol paused at the bottom to listen for any signs he'd heard them, heavy footsteps on the ceiling above them, but all she heard was the monotonous drone of his snoring. Grabbing the car keys as silently as she could manage, she hurried Sophia out of the front door and closed it as quietly as she could. There was no way she could silence the car's engine so any time she could buy them would be a blessing. It was a miracle Ed had managed to drive it home in the state he was in, and she thanked God for small miracles. He'd parked it across the lawn and knocked down the mailbox, leaving a rather sizeable dent in the bumper. That wouldn't have gone down well in the morning if he'd seen it. Carol got Sophia settled then jumped in the other side, fumbling the key into the ignition with trembling hands.

"Where are we going Mama?" Sophia yawned at her from the passenger seat, teeth chattering noticeably in the early morning chill.

Carol cupped Sophia's cheek and stroked it with her thumb, pushing a wisp of hair behind her ear. "Somewhere safe sweetie."

_**XOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

The air in the cabin had cooled dramatically with the day's downpour, but he hadn't even thought to light the fire. He lay on the couch instead, his arm under his head, staring at the ceiling absently. For the first time in a long time he'd begun to feel whole again, only to have it turn to ashes in his hands. She'd made her decision and there was nothing he could do or say that would make her change her mind. He shouldn't have let her go… back to the shadows… back to _him_. The thought made him feel sick, angry. He wanted to go round there and beat the shit out of that son of a bitch and not leave until he had her and Sophia. What the hell was the point now, anyway? What was the point in anything anymore?

A quiet knock at the door jolted him from his thoughts and he sat up uncertainly, half hoping. He stared at the door for a moment, wondering if he'd really heard anything at all, his mind racing through the possibilities and wondering how he was gonna deal with the disappointment if he didn't open it to find her on the doorstep. He sat, temporarily struck dumb and unable to kick his brain into gear, the voice in his head telling him he was losing it. The knock came again and this time he got up, striding to the door and pausing briefly as he reached for the handle.

His heart felt a little lighter and more hopeful as he drew the door back and found her huddled on the doorstep. She was here, Sophia tucked in at her side, and that gave him more reason to hope than anything. She shifted nervously, unsure of his reception.

"I'm sorry I know it's late. I…" she sighed despondently. "I didn't know where else to go."

Daryl chewed the inside of his mouth, the pain still raw from their encounter earlier that day, his eyes washing over her thoughtfully as he stepped aside to let them in. Something had to have happened for her to be showing up in the middle of the night with the kid in tow. He locked the door and motioned for them to have a seat.

Sophia snuggled in as close to Carol as she could and Daryl didn't miss the way her teeth chattered. Carol pulled her close, rubbing her arm to try and warm her up. Daryl wished he'd lit the damn fire when he'd come in. He cussed himself silently as he bent to light a match under the firewood and watched as the kindling took light. He turned and eyed them both with concern, his eyes coming to linger on Carol, her head resting against Sophia's.

"Hey," he asked softly. "You wanna drink? Think I got some cocoa stashed somewhere."

Carol lifted her head slightly and gave him a thankful smile and a nod, sighing deeply before resting again. He moved towards the kitchen, trying to push the niggling question of why they were here out of his mind. As much as he had to know, he knew she would tell him when she was ready. All that mattered was they were here now, and as long as they were in his house, they were safe. He rummaged around in the cupboards for three reasonably clean mugs and a half empty tin of cocoa powder. He boiled the water and heaped spoonfuls of the powder into mugs all without thinking about it. He was on autopilot, his brain running through every possible scenario.

"Oh thanks." Carol was miles away when he produced her drink.

"Thank you," Sophia said quietly, accepting her own mug.

Daryl gave her a little smile and noticed Carol's shivering despite her best efforts to disguise it. He tugged the blanket draped over the couch from behind her back and laid it over her and Sophia. Carol gave him a smile of thanks and snuggled under the blanket, drawing warmth from Sophia curled up next to her. They sat in peaceful silence as they drank, Sophia looking around the room at her new surroundings with childish curiosity and smiling every so often at Daryl as he watched her with amusement. He'd grown to love that kid in the short time he'd known her and it hadn't gone unnoticed. He could feel blue eyes quietly studying him, and shifted his gaze to meet them. His pulse quickened a little as his eyes locked with hers, unable to pull away from them. The flicker of the fire which had grown into a tumultuous blaze danced in her eyes and held him there.

"Ya warm enough?" Daryl stuttered, looking for something ordinary to say to break the awkward silence.

"Yes, better now. How about you sweetie?"

Carol looked down to find her daughter fast asleep curled up against her arm. She took the mug from her hand before she could spill it over herself and set it on the table, moving Sophia gently so she didn't wake up.

"Poor kid, she's done in." Daryl put his mug down on the floor and stood up. "I'll take her up."

Carol kissed the top of her head as he slid his arm around Sophia's back and legs and scooped her off the couch. She didn't stir as he shifted her gently as he could and carried her upstairs.

Daryl set Sophia down on the bed softly and pulled the blankets over her. He tucked her in with more care than he'd ever shown any living thing in his life and watched as she curled up like a kitten. He swallowed hard as an uninvited lump swelled in his throat at the sight of this little girl, finally safe and sound and blissfully out of it getting herself cosy under the covers. Daryl knew right there and then that he loved her and that there was no going back. He'd signed himself up for the long haul. Sophia mumbled sleepily and forced a smile to tug at the corners of his mouth. He brushed her hair back out of her eyes and let his hand linger in the messy blonde mop for a second as he watched her sleep, her peaceful breaths the only sound he could hear.

"Night kid," he whispered.

As he turned to walk out he looked up to meet the sparkling blue wells that had been fixed on him. His eyes flitted awkwardly, shamefaced that he'd been caught in such an uncharacteristically tender moment. He passed her with an embarrassed little smirk and left her to say her own goodnight. Carol kissed her daughter and quietly slipped out of the room, closing the door softly behind her.

"Drink?" Daryl whispered.

"Love one," Carol sighed.

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

"Sorry, bar's a little under stocked," he huffed as he handed her a glass with some whisky in it.

"It's alright, this is exactly what I need." She accepted it gratefully and took a big gulp.

"Hey ya might wanna go easy, ain't no ginger ale." He perched awkwardly on the couch beside her.

Carol gave him the barest hint of a smile as her eyes fell to the glass cupped in her hands. The faraway look in her eyes bothered him, but he didn't know how to broach the subject. She looked so small and broken, and he wanted to fix her more than anything. The heavy silence clearly bothered her; he could see her mind going through the gears as she tried to work out what to say. He knew whatever conversation was coming was going to be hard for her.

"Looks like you were right," she finally said quietly, avoiding eye contact.

"What?" he asked in confusion.

"Didn't take long for me to come running with my tail between my legs." She forced an empty laugh.

Daryl's eyes narrowed in disbelief. "I don't give a damn 'bout bein' right. You're here, an' Sophia's here… you're safe. S'all that matters."

Carol's eyes fell to her glass again in remorse, and Daryl hated himself for saying the words in the first place. He'd been angry, and hurting, and desperate. Now she was sitting here like she had to eat humble pie and he felt like an asshole. This was on him now to fix.

"What happened?"

She glanced at him briefly, her head dipped as if she was afraid to tell him. He didn't miss the way she had to bite the inside of her lip, or the quickened rise and fall of her chest as she tried to keep it together. He waited until she was ready, giving her the space she needed. She'd been caged most of her life, and now she didn't seem quite sure how to step out and be free.

"I woke up." She offered him a teary smile and tried to blink them away. "All those things I said today… you were right. It was all a lie."

Daryl's chest tightened, his throat suddenly very dry at her revelation. "Why?"

She wiped an errant tear from her cheek and took another mouthful from her glass, swallowing hard as if to ward off the sob he could hear lurking in her voice.

"I was walking home… the rain was getting heavier by the second.. It must have taken me about an hour, I don't remember really. Couldn't see where I was going anyway-" She wiped away more tears that had escaped down her cheeks, her voice barely a whisper, "-but eventually, I got home… took a shower. I stood there for ages… just staring at nothing. Wondering what the hell I was doing. When I finally got out and looked in the mirror, I saw the woman I was before all of this… and I hated her!"

Daryl felt a swell of hope at the anger in her voice, praying that she'd finally saw the light. Carol gasped raggedly from her outburst as she sniffed at the salty trails running down her cheeks. She emptied her glass and set it on the table in front of them.

"I can't live in his shadow anymore. Sophia… she's still so young. I don't want that life for her." She swiped at her face again, a hesitant pause before continuing. "He… he came home, drunk as usual. He barely made it upstairs he was so out of it. But eventually he came. Fell into bed and…"

Daryl didn't like the way the conversation was going, especially didn't like the way her eyes glazed over, and he _understood_ that look. She was retreating into herself, where it was safe, as if even the memory could hurt her. He understood. Any time he'd taken a beating he would sit in a trance, as if blurring out the rest of the world would make the pain go away. He would let the numbness wash over him and just exist in a bubble where nothing was real. She was there right now, in the void, and he realised she'd ended up with a man like his father and he felt like someone had punched him in the gut. It was his fault. Daryl swigged from his own glass, the firey liquid attacking the pit of anger in his stomach.

"He passed out." Her voice was quieter now, barely audible over the crackle of the fire as she stared into it pensively. "I've never been so glad to hear him snoring. I threw the covers off and got dressed as quickly as I could… got Sophia up and out of the house."

Daryl listened in silence, the simmering caldera in his stomach subdued for the moment, relieved that she'd managed to get away. He didn't dig further; somehow knowing that whatever she'd escaped it would do him no favours to find out.

"I lied…" Daryl's eyes narrowed as she glanced up at him. "When I said there were other places I would go before I came here. Right now, this is the only place I feel safe."

"Hey, you are safe. Ain't nobody comin' in here without my say so."

She managed to ward off the tremor in her mouth and turn it into a half smile. "Thank you."

Carol shifted closer to him, leaning in uncertainly, pausing before placing a chaste kiss on his scruffy cheek. The touch of her lips against his face made his skin tingle. She pulled back to look at him, her eyes heavy with such an intense longing it made his chest ache. His pulse beat strongly in his ears as he stared into the glimmering blue depths before him, the closeness almost overpowering, her warm breath sending ripples of gooseflesh dancing over his skin. The breath felt like it was being crushed from his lungs as she nuzzled his nose tentatively, unbearably close. He wanted this more than anything, but he tried desperately to hold back, let her decide what was comfortable. He fought himself for control, wanting nothing more than to devour her, show her that it had always been her, and that it always would.

Her soft mouth caught his lips with agonising gentleness, and somewhere inside him something exploded, making him exhale, almost in relief, like he'd finally come home after a long and exhausting journey. Her hand found his face, fingertips whispering over his cheek like feathers as her eyes sought his out again, the desire burning in them taking his breath away. Her thumb brushed over his bottom lip, making him aware of just how dry his mouth was all of a sudden. She moved again, tilting her head slightly, smothering his mouth with hers. This time it was deeper. Her fingers wound their way into his dark locks, her fingers raking his scalp as she kissed him hungrily, her tongue invading his mouth, her breath escaping frantically when it could.

Daryl's heart pumped hard in his chest, the overwhelming rush of elation crushing down on him as he fought for breath, his hands finding the small of her back, pulling her closer to him as he returned her kiss feverishly. He felt ready to burst; he thought he'd wanted this for forever but he was so wrong. He needed it. He needed her. Nothing else existed in this moment except her, and the torturously sweet pain pulsing through him confirmed what he'd known all along, probably even before he'd come back. The thing he could never put words to, because what use were words in the end? His hands splayed across her back, his fingers flexing ever so gently as he became lost in this moment.

Before he knew what was happening, Carol was climbing into his lap, legs clamped on either side of him pinning him to the couch, her eager hands clawing at the buttons on his shirt. The pounding in his body accelerated and he grew ravenous, knowing where they were heading, pulling her closer, attacking her mouth desperately. A rush of blood made him aware of the effect she was having on him, and as his pants twitched in response to her heavy breaths, it hit him hard in the chest and halted him in his tracks.

"This ain't right," he panted, breaking away.

Carol stilled on top of him, the words striking her motionless. She backed up, looking at him in desperate confusion. The hurt in her eyes killed him, and he ran the reasons why through his mind rapidly, trying to conjour up an explanation that would banish the pain from her face. As she retreated into her shell and slid shamefully from his lap back to her seat like she'd been doing it all her life, he hated himself. She didn't even question it. Want wasn't even an issue; he craved her, but he didn't want to risk waking up in the morning to find she regretted it, or worse still that she'd gone before he woke up, back to _him, _the guilt too much for her. He couldn't take the risk.

"Hey, it ain't you, y'know that. M'sorry, I can't - not now… like this."

"I want this," Carol croaked up at him, her eyelids heavy, still clouded with desire. "I want you, Daryl."

"You got me," he took her hand gently in his. "But this ain't the right time. I just… it's gotta be right."

Carol nodded in response but it left him unsure of how convinced she was. Her eyes drifted back to their hands, their fingers knitting together.

"Hey," he tugged gently on her hand so she would look at him. "I ain't ever gonna leave you, y'hear me? Never."

"You promise?" she whispered.

"Promise." He pulled her against him and pressed a kiss to her head, resting his cheek against her and curling his arm around her tightly. He breathed a sigh, hoping she could feel the steady thumping beat of his heart, that she knew it would always beat its strongest for her. The fire crackled softly as she fell asleep against him, and before long, Daryl was asleep too, with her in his arms at last.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Chapter 24 you guys! I hope we're all staying positive on the run up to the MSF... I don't wanna have to smack any botties for negativity! Anyway, I should warn you this chapter may make you laugh, cry, cheer, whatever. Maybe all 3 ;) As for the phone call that takes place in this chapter, I would do the exact same. PM me if you get confused but it was defo a point of discussion for myself and my bestie/beta Kaoscraze82. (She will probs smack MY bottie for ignoring her advice on this one but meh... I get to be norty at least ONCE!) Anyway, enjoy and I'll see you on the other side!**

**Disclaimer: TWD and its characters belong to Kirkman, AMC etc etc and none of this is intended to infringe copyright... just your feelings!**

Chapter 24

The warm body pressed up against him drew Daryl out of his deep sleep and for a moment he was disorientated until he breathed her in. Then last night came flooding back to him, the memory filling him with warmth; the way her mouth had felt on his, the overwhelming rush in his chest as all of his doubts faded away with the softest caress of her hands. She was curled around his heart now, fitting perfectly into the void that had gaped ever since he'd left all those years ago, a space that only she could fill. She was fast asleep, for the first time in days. Daryl nuzzled closer to her, burying his nose in her hair and breathing a content sigh. He could've lay there all morning, or as long as she took to wake up, until he remembered Sophia asleep upstairs. The kid would be hungry and so would Carol when she woke up.

He shifted her gently, trying his best not to wake her just yet. He lowered her until she was laying out flat and covered her with the blanket, stroking her cheek gently before getting up to give his legs a much needed stretch. He had no idea what a twelve year old girl ate in the morning so he had to hope it was nothing too technical. He rifled through the kitchen cupboards in search of kid friendly food, finally turning up a box of cereal.

It felt strange to him, waking up and not being alone in the house, knowing that before long two other people were gonna be up and about. He had been alone in one way or another for most of his life and at some point decided that was just how he preferred it, but having Carol and Sophia around had changed him. His own company wasn't enough anymore. He needed them around; they filled a space he didn't even realise was there.

Small footsteps on the stairs alerted him and he greeted Sophia with a shushing index finger against his mouth and a nod towards Carol curled up on the couch. Sophia looked at her mother fast asleep, the love in her eyes bringing an uninvited lump to Daryl's throat.

Sophia followed him into the kitchen and pulled out a chair at the table. Daryl handed her a bowl and she took it with a smile, sitting down and pouring herself some cereal.

"Sleep alright?" he asked, his voice hushed.

"Yeah, think I slept a little too long though."

"Must've needed it," he smirked, handing her the milk.

"Think Mama needed even more than me," Sophia sighed, watching her from the kitchen.

"Yeah, she's pretty worn out, " he agreed, taking in Sophia's worried expression. "She'll be alright. We can go for a walk while she's sleepin'… see if we can find more wood for the fire. Was pretty cold last night."

"Okay," Sophia chirped. "I can do that."

Daryl grunted his approval and grabbed himself a bowl. "Alright, we'll get fed then we'll head out."

He poured himself some cereal and sat across from Sophia at the table. The two sat in relative silence, the mood a little too heavy for his liking. He pinged a piece of cereal at her and she looked up in surprise, before launching her own projectile back at him. He dodged it and threw her a childish look. Soon there were bits of cereal pinging back and forth like missiles, and the table looked like a tornado had swept over it. The eventual struggle to not erupt into fits of giggles proved too much for Sophia, clamping her hand over her mouth to stop the noisy peals of laughter. Daryl snorted in amusement at her red face, trying with all her might not to make a noise and wake her mama up.

"Come on, Giggles," he drawled, throwing his final missile at her. "Let's get gone."

"Wait!" Sophia called under her breath, scrabbling in her pack for something.

"What ya doin'?"

"Leaving a note," she whispered.

"We ain't goin' far…"

Daryl waited as Sophia scribbled on a scrap of paper and left it on the table in front of Carol, still sound asleep. She gave her one last look before trotting out the door after Daryl and gently closing the front door.

"She'll be fine y'know," he assured her with a nudge to the arm.

"I know, I just don't want her to worry. She worries too much."

"Yeah she does," he agreed, fixing her with a reassuring look. "But she don't gotta worry no more, an' neither do you, ya hear?"

She smiled up at him, her mother's eyes assuring him she had complete faith in him to keep them both safe, and he knew then and there he would do anything to make sure they were.

They walked in companionable silence for a while, the only sounds around them the foliage underfoot and the occasional bird chattering in the trees. Sophia was quieter than usual; normally she talked his ear off about whatever she had been doing at school or bugging him for stories from when he was a kid. He only had a few to tell that didn't involve being on the wrong side of his old man or having to sit in the company of Merle and whatever skank he'd brought home that night - that's when he was actually around and not doing a stint inside. He could see her mind working overtime, trying to work something out, her eyes shifting along the ground as if she was searching for the right words to relay whatever she had on her mind. She risked a glance at him and looked away quickly when she realised she had his full attention.

"What is it?"

"What's what?" Sophia feigned ignorance, brushing her hair behind her ear as she picked through the dewy carpet of leaves with her feet.

"Got somethin' on your mind. Spill."

Her shoulders sagged, like she wished she hadn't looked his way. "It's nothing… it doesn't matter now really."

"Doesn't matter _now?" _Daryl pressed, his eyes narrowing in confusion.

She blinked up at him contemplatively, and suddenly Daryl felt nauseous. Sophia was never lost for words, so whatever was stuck in her throat couldn't be good. When she finally pushed the words out with a tentative sigh, his gut hit the ground.

"I've been trying to work out why… why you left my mama all those years ago."

The question caught him off guard, crushing his lungs and twisting in his gut like a knife. Her innocent little face was void of any resentment or blame as she looked expectantly at him, and it only made him feel worse, and he had no idea how to look this little girl in the eye and justify himself. Looking into her eyes filled him with dread, because he realised how simple it would look to her, all the 'if's and 'but's stripped back, making him look like a fool. He was so full of shit. There was no point trying to dress it up. He swallowed hard and looked at the ground.

"I mean, I just don't get it. The two of you are so…" she struggled to find the right words to explain what she meant. "You're like peanut butter and jelly."

He smiled faintly at the comparison, but it only served to tighten the coil around his stomach. She couldn't understand why it had happened at all, and the explanations he tried to string together in his head fell apart like wet paper before they made it to his mouth. She would see through them, just like she saw through him.

"Ain't got a lot to say. I was young, stupid…" He dragged his feet, scuffing up the leaves underfoot as their walk slowed. "Your mama and I… we were real close. She was the only friend I ever had growin' up."

"So why did you-"

"My dad. We were always movin' around. I dunno what your mama's told ya, 'bout back then, but my daddy was…" He hesitated, shaking his head, trying to think of how to put it without bringing up shit he'd tried like hell to forget. "Growin' up, it was just me an' Merle, my big brother. Our mama died when we were little, and our daddy wasn't exactly big on the whole parent thing. He wasn't around most of the time. He hung with some bad people… he'd get on the wrong side of someone and come wake us up in the middle of the night and we'd leave while it was still dark. When I met your mama, I thought we were stayin' put for a while, and we did. Was the longest we ever stayed in one place."

Sophia listened intently at his side, never taking her eyes off him. Daryl's mood plummeted as he recalled the day it all changed. "One day he came home, told us we were movin' again. I didn't wanna leave. Thought about runnin' away but… hell, I was just a kid. Had no money, nowhere to go. Besides, couldn't take your mama away from her family. I couldn't give her what they could… what she deserved."

"But that's not why you left, right?"

"Hmm." Daryl shook his head, lifting his eyes from the ground to look at her. "I was afraid. My daddy weren't exactly father of the year. You did what he said, no questions asked. I know how pathetic it sounds, but it's the truth right there."

Sophia nodded, a look crossing her face of sudden realisation and understanding. "It's not pathetic. I understand. I get scared too." Her voice bottomed out to almost a whisper, as if she was afraid of the consequences of her admission. "I know he's my daddy, but… he scares me. My mama tries to stop me worrying but I know she's afraid. She's so brave, but I'm scared for her too. I don't want to go back there, ever. I wish-"

"What?" He searched her thoughtful little face, encouraging her to go on.

"I wish you were my daddy." She blushed up at him, the hopeful sparkle in her eyes taking a sledgehammer to his heart, nearly knocking the breath from his body. "I've been thinking about it for a while. You would marry my mama, and we would live here with you, and have a dog and go fishing… We'd never have to be scared again."

Daryl fought against the huge choking lump rising in his throat, his eyes stinging with every flicker of his eyelids. All the kid wanted was a family, and like a fog being swept away by a hurricane, it dawned on him so suddenly that it was all he'd ever wanted too. Carol and Sophia, and nobody else. He'd known Sophia for only a few weeks, but it was long enough to know that he loved her, and she was as close to family as he was ever gonna get. As for Carol… she was the missing piece of his soul, now found, and for the first time in his life, Daryl could see everything clearly, the shock of it rendering him almost breathless.

"Ain't no way you or your mama are goin' back," he croaked, swallowing down the salty upsurge of emotion. "Ain't no way."

Before he could get himself together, Sophia launched herself at him, flinging her skinny little arms around his waist and clamping them tight. Daryl stared down at her in surprise through eyes that were blurring rapidly, and then, as if it was the most natural thing he'd ever done, he wrapped his arms around her and cradled her mop of sandy blonde hair. Moments like this were a foreign concept to Daryl, but right now he needed it like air.

Sophia may only have been twelve, but in that moment, she was the strong one, and she was holding him up.

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

She awoke shrouded in warmth, the blanket tucked around her trapping her body heat. As she stirred, blinking herself awake, she became aware that she wasn't in her bed, or even her house. A momentary panic set in before her brain kicked into gear, and then it all came flooding back. The argument, Ed coming home and… She shuddered and swept the memory into the darkness where it belonged, trying to remember what came next. Daryl taking them in. _Daryl. _The last piece that clicked into place made her shiver and the corners of her mouth curve softly as she snuggled into the blanket again, breathing in his scent.

The cabin was quiet. She could hear the faint chirping of birdsong outside, hanging in the morning air. The quiet filled her with serenity, instead of dread like it did at home. She felt safe here, almost like by removing herself from home she could remove the fear that lived in her there. Daryl was here, and it had taken her a while to work out, but Daryl was her sanctuary. She felt his protection here even though at that moment, he was nowhere to be found.

Carol sat up, the notion striking her as a little odd. Sophia was nowhere to be seen either. She spied the scrap of paper sitting on the table in front of her and shuffled to the edge of the couch, pulling the blanket around her and leaning over to get a closer look.

She unfolded the paper and smiled at Sophia's excited scribble.

_Gone to get firewood_

_Back soon_

_Sophia and Daryl x_

_PS: Don't worry! _

Carol chuckled softly at the last line and put the note back, daring to leave the warmth of the blanket for a stretch. Her body ached a little from sleeping curled up on the couch. The appeal of a coffee got her to her feet, taking the blanket with her, grudging the idea of leaving the warmth and smell of him behind for even a second.

She padded to the kitchen and filled the kettle, leaning on the sink as she waited for the water to boil, looking out of the window at the grey morning outside. The leaves were starting to turn, and the humidity that had hung around for months now had given way to cooler air. It would be Fall soon, and she relished the idea that she might actually get outdoors and see it for herself this year. Other than taking Sophia to school and going to the store, she'd lived indoors most of her adult life, watching the colours change from the window while she braved the eternal winter inside. But that was then, before the seasons changed, before the sun came into her life again.

She smiled at the thought of him, something she hadn't done freely since she was sixteen years old, a contentment spreading within her that they'd come in a full circle. The tantalising possibility that they could be happy now, just the three of them… that it was all behind her. It was almost freeing. Almost.

There was still the small matter of Ed to consider. He wouldn't appreciate being made a fool of, and when he eventually woke up that day he would realise that they were both gone and the thought of what would await her going back to the house to collect their belongings made her queasy. She would need to wait until Rick and Lori came back; there was no way on earth she could risk going in there alone, and she certainly didn't want Daryl getting involved. They'd only just found each other again, and she had no intentions of letting him go to prison because of Ed.

Carol pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind and heaved out a sigh, telling herself it would all need to wait until later. For now she was going to drink her coffee in peace and revel in the possibility of spending the first of many days without a dark shadow hanging over her.

The front door clicked open and creaked with the passing breeze, jerking her from her thoughts. One of them must've not pulled it shut properly; no wonder she had been reluctant to leave the toasty warmth of Daryl's blanket. A shiver swept over her as she came out of the kitchen to find it swaying in the draft, the breeze carrying a swirl of leaves in. She scanned the expanse of trees stretched out in front of her and found the woods were still apart from the gentle sway of leaves. They must've been goofing around; Sophia was never one for rushing back and if they'd got sidetracked then Carol was willing to bet Sophia was behind it.

The iron hand that clamped around her mouth and dragged her backwards came out of nowhere, so quickly she couldn't co-ordinate a scream or her balance. Panic ripped through her, clawing at her throat and making her heart pump like it would burst out of her chest. Carol didn't need to see the face behind her, she'd felt the terrible vice grip of those hands around her before. She was hauled backwards, the sound of objects being knocked over and clattering to the floor around her as she struggled to stay on her feet, the adrenaline surging through her body willing her to fight back. She strained against him, momentarily breaking free with a desperate yelp before his fingers clawed her back, propelling her into the wall.

The impact as she landed on the floor made her see stars, and her arm throbbed where she had struck the wall. Her dazed state was obliterated as Ed swung his boot at her stomach and forced the breath from her body, leaving her writhing on the floor like a fish out of water, unable to even gasp. The pain was so severe she almost blacked out, until finally she was able to draw a breath into her lungs. She choked on it and vaguely heard Ed growling a question at her. When she didn't respond, he hauled her to her feet, his palm closing around her throat, the grip tightening until her whole head was throbbing and she couldn't even choke in response. His eyes were bulging out of his head, the vein pulsing in his temple, his face showing his intent more clearly than it had ever given him up before, and she knew she wasn't going to survive this time.

"Huh? I said you think you're fuckin' smart?"

Tears spilled freely down her cheeks as she looked upon the face of her fear, begging for mercy, absolutely crestfallen that his lifeless black pits would be the last things she would ever see in this world. Her body jerked violently under his chokehold, the need to take a breath now a matter of life or death.

"Get your fuckin hands offa her!"

All at once the grip on her throat loosened, and she spluttered and coughed as her lungs filled with air again. Her heart sang with joy at the sound of Daryl's voice growling out in attack. She'd heard him angry before, but this was pure feral fury and the force of it filled her with burning pride.

Daryl hauled him off of her and launched him into the wall, his head punching a gouge in the plasterboard as Daryl lunged at him.

Carol looked on from where she lay huddled in the corner, still gasping for air and clutching her ribs, trying not to pass out from the pain. For a moment she thought Daryl was going to kill him, but then Ed turned the tables and wrestled him off, shoving him roughly into the opposite wall. She knew how strong Ed was; she'd experienced it first hand, and now part of her feared for Daryl. She had to get up.

Her head swam as she tried to find purchase on something. The sound of Ed's fists pounding into Daryl's ribs, his strangled cries of pain made her both angry and terrified and all the more determined to get up. The stinging bit into her ribcage, every movement spiking her with agony. Grunting determinedly, she hauled herself up, gripping the table with one hand, as a burning wave of courage came flushing over her.

Daryl was doubled over, now trying to protect himself as Ed beat the life from him.

"You watchin' this bitch? How ya like your dirty... fuckin'… redneck... now, huh?"

She could feel the growl building in her throat, and as she finally rose to her feet, she grabbed the first thing that her fingers came to. Her ribs groaned in objection to the weight of the chopped firewood, pulling her body down, but the sight of him lying now on the ground as Ed kicked him in the gut filled her with rage that completely burned away anything else she felt. From the fire inside her, she drew on white hot courage and flew at him, the growl coming loose from her throat in a high pitched shriek as she swung the lump of wood and caught him hard on the back of the head with a sickening crack.

Ed staggered off balance and for a moment she feared he was going to turn on her, unphased by the blow, but he didn't. He slumped to the floor with a heavy thud. Carol dropped the wood and ran to Daryl's side, tears blinding her.

"Daryl, Daryl wake up. Daryl!" She sobbed, cupping his bloody face in her hands, "I'm so sorry, please... Don't leave me..." Tears of relief flooded her cheeks as his eyes flickered open and he groaned. "Oh thank God... I thought..."

"Aw man..." He groaned as he tried to move.

"No, no, don't move sweetheart." She cradled his face gently, trying not to hurt him. "I thought I'd lost you."

"Told ya... I ain't goin nowhere. Aargh..." He grimaced at the blazing pain in his body.

"Don't move, I- I gotta get help... Where-where's Sophia?"

"She's safe... locked herself in the truck…" Daryl's face contorted in discomfort.

"Just lay here, I'm gonna get help."

She struggled to her feet again and staggered for the phone, dialling the number at breakneck speed with trembling hands, never taking her eyes off the body slumped on the living room floor, a pool of sticky crimson seeping out from under his hulking frame. The phone rang hopelessly and Carol's heart sank as she remembered they were out of town. She was just about to hang up when to her relief the receiver clicked on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Lori! Oh thank god..." She tried to keep her voice under control as it threatened to fail her. "I don't know what to do, please… Daryl's hurt... Ed... I think he's..."

"Carol slow down, where are you? What's happened?"

"I'm at Daryl's, please hurry... he's hurt," she sobbed, the gravity of what had just happened gripping her guts.

"Okay don't move I'm on my way."

The phone on the other end clicked off and Carol dropped it, hobbling back to Daryl's side, her hands instantly reaching for his face again. He'd managed to pull himself up a little and prop himself against the wall. He brought his hand up to cover hers and closed his eyes.

"No Daryl! You have to stay awake... You don't get to leave me again!"

"Ain't gettin' rid of me that easy," he blinked up at her, his mouth curled in his trademark crooked smile, wincing through his busted lip.

She attempted a little laugh but it came out as a sob and she felt his hand tighten around hers. She bent down to press a kiss to his forehead, brushing long strands of dark, sticky hair out of his face.

"Is he..?" Daryl croaked.

"I- I don't know..." Carol eyed Ed warily, shifting slightly as if to get up.

"No, leave 'im." Daryl stopped her with his hand, hissing at the pain knifing through his body. "Stay with me."

"I'm right here," she sniffed, stroking his hair. "I won't leave you."

Hours seemed to pass in silence before Lori arrived with Rick and Shane in tow, followed by an ambulance. In reality it had only been ten minutes but the seconds had stretched into minutes as she'd waited. When she heard the car doors slamming and the piercing wail of the siren her heart had almost jumped out of her chest with relief.

"Oh Jesus." Rick was first to enter and had a clear line of sight into the living room. "Shane get those medics in here now." Rick rushed towards them, nimbly dodging Ed's limp mass and kneeling down beside Daryl. "Hey man, how bad are you hurt?"

"I dunno," he hissed again. "Bastard went to town on me."

"Think ya can get up?"

"Yeah I just… gimme a minute," he groaned, shifting himself into a sitting position.

Rick shifted briefly to examine Ed and looked to Carol. "Is he dead?"

"I don't know... I-I didn't mean... He wouldn't stop..."

"Hey it's alright, don't panic everything's gonna be alright. Shane!"

Lori appeared in the doorway and her hand flew to her mouth in horror. Carol felt panic rise in her throat as it all swirled in her head. Then she remembered Sophia.

"Lori... Sophia, she's in the truck! She can't see this."

Lori disappeared again with a nod, her face like chalk. Shane's heavy footsteps came towards them followed by two scurrying paramedics. The look of alarm on their faces at the scene unnerved Carol and added yet more chaos into her brain. The paramedics buzzed around Ed as two more entered with a stretcher.

"There's a pulse but it's very weak, we need to get him to hospital now."

Two men managed to slide the stretcher under Ed and fasten him in while another placed a brace around his head and hooked him up to oxygen. Carol watched them numbly, all the while her heart screaming at them to just leave him and take care of Daryl.

When the stretcher finally rose beside her and disappeared out of the door her eyes fell to the pool of tacky claret on the floor. There was so much of it she wondered how it was possible Ed still lived. She felt foil rustle against her arm and realised that someone had put a heat blanket around her and Daryl. Rick and Shane were in tense discussion, their voices a muffled haze to her ears, the bleep of a radio piercing through it all. Then in a blur of fluorescent colour they were back for Daryl, trying to slide a stretcher underneath him and earning a half hearted arm swipe and a grunt in return. He managed to stagger to his feet, Carol jumping in under his arm to support him, Rick on the other side. She grit her teeth through the pain raging in her own body and helped him hobble one agonising step after the other.

"We gotta get you to hospital," Rick grunted under the weight around his shoulder.

"Don't need no damn hospital, I'm- aah!" Daryl winced at another stab of pain.

"Yes you do," Rick half smirked, looking to Carol. "And so do you."

"I'm alright," Carol rasped, her throat still rough and dry. "He needs a doctor quickly."

"You're both going, end of discussion," Rick stated matter-of-factly, handing Daryl over to the waiting paramedics.

Carol grabbed his hand as they helped him into the ambulance. "I'm going with you."

"Stay and take care of Sophia," he ordered.

"No!" she growled through the raw sting of shock. "I'm not leaving you!"

Daryl resigned himself to defeat and narrowed his eyes against the pain again as the paramedics settled him on the bed. Carol climbed in after him and cast one last look back towards Rick.

"Lori's taken her home, don't worry," he assured her, seemingly knowing what she'd been about to say. "We'll look after her."

Carol thanked him with a nod as the ambulance doors closed and the vehicle jerked into life.

The journey to the hospital felt like a hundred years, every heartbeat, every breath filled with shock, horror, panic - and not just at what she had done. The thought of losing Daryl when she had only just found him, was burrowing under her skin like a parasite. She had no idea how much damage Ed had done, but she knew it could have been a lot worse. If she hadn't got up in time, if she had just closed her eyes against the pain, if she'd been knocked out… the fine line between him being alright and not made her feel ill.

It was all a horrible blur in her head, and her heart was pounding like a jackhammer in her ribcage, every beat driving home a stabbing pain. She could feel herself fading fast with every corner the vehicle took, every slight bump in the road or bend they navigated. She feared throwing up everywhere was imminent, and by the time they pulled up outside the hospital and the fresh air hit her, the world was starting to feel further away.

She didn't remember going into the hospital, or the woman who came out to meet them as they came in. Everything was spinning, every sound muffled like she was underwater. Her body was flying. Faint voices rang in her ears as colour slipped from her vision, and then everything was dark.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: OUCH! Well how was that for a MSF? I have mixed emotions about it. But those are for another day. Sigh. Anyway, did we all enjoy the last chapter? This one is mixed angst/fluff/comfort but I think some of you will be pleased ;) I've noticed quite a few new readers recently so welcome and glad you seem to be enjoying! And to my band of loyal 'regulars' thank you for letting me fill your heads with my Caryl ramblings - LET ME LOVE YOU ALL! We are coming to the final few chapters my loves, but fear not... these two (and Sophia!) will be back! I also have *ideas* for other fics so watch this space! Anyway, enough of my babbling... Chapter 25!**

**Disclaimer: TWD and its characters are property of Kirkman, AMC, blah blah BLAAAH! **

Chapter 25

The pain gripped his body like razor sharp claws as sleep started to fade away, and he became aware that his entire body felt like it had been run over by a freight train. He'd been crushed up in the same position in a chair for hours. There was a hand in his, warm and still, something stuck to it that definitely didn't feel like it was meant to be there. As he tried to stir, he found he couldn't move. He felt like he had been cast in cement, his body so stiff that even the slightest movement seemed impossible. Strange blankets he didn't recognise under his face, and that smell… that _hospital _smell.

He pushed through the pain to lift his head and within a second of his eyes creaking open he remembered everything. The first thing he saw was her delicate little hand, with the IV line anchored into her soft skin. Bruises dappled her skin, some on her arms blooming like mould from where Ed had put his hands on her. Her throat too was stained with his murderous taint, and Daryl's jaw clenched hard. It killed him to see her lying there, so tiny and fragile, like she might break if he touched her. But she was here, and she wasn't fragile at all. She was strong, he realised. Stronger than anyone he'd ever known. He ran his thumb over her knuckles and brought her hand to his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss to her fingers.

Even in her exhausted state she looked like an angel. Her hair was all messed up from sleep, jutting out in wild kinks from her head. Her skin was pale but her expression peaceful at last. He allowed himself the tiniest of smiles but it quickly dissipated when he thought of what she'd had to endure - what she might have gone through if he hadn't come back when he did. What that fucker had done to her, it made his fists clench until his nails bit into his palms. His gut tied in a painful knot as visions of the day before flooded his memory. The moment he realised something was wrong, the panic and rage that had come over him, and then Sophia's scared little face mooning up at him as he'd told her to get in the truck and lock the doors. When he'd burst in the door and seen Ed with his hand around her throat, the biblical fury that had burned in his veins and his throat and his fists. The strength he'd found that he never realised he could possess as he'd hauled Ed off of her, and then the rage. He'd landed a few blows until Ed got his bearings and turned on him. It was hazy from that moment, until a sickeningly blunt crack and the sound of a body hitting the floor pulled him back. Still, none of it mattered now. That bastard wouldn't hurt her, not ever again.

A soft moan drew him out of his thoughts as Carol stirred awake, blinking sleep away and pausing briefly, her eyes darting around in confusion at her strange surroundings. The fleeting panic that crossed her features faded when her eyes came to rest on Daryl, and she smiled. It barely hid a grimace at the pain she was clearly putting a brave face on, but it warmed his bones to see that smile light up her face again.

"Hey," he murmured.

"Hey yourself," she croaked back, her voice breaking at the end and sending her into a coughing fit.

Daryl poured her some water and helped her sit up a little to drink. She sipped small mouthfuls until the coughing subsided. She sighed in exhaustion, her body seemingly almost drained again of what little energy she'd had upon waking.

"Thank you," she gasped, sinking back into the pillows and closing her eyes against the fatigue.

Daryl sat quietly by her bedside, his elbows propped up on the bed, taking her hand in both of his again and resting his chin on them, his eyes never straying from her face. Carol opened her eyes and turned to look at him.

"What happened? How did I-"

"You passed out," Daryl answered, stroking her fingers. "You were dehydrated, exhausted."

"How long have you been sitting there?"

"All night," Daryl gave her a half smile. "Kept me in too, but I told 'em I wasn't wearin' no damn gown with the ass cut out. "

Carol chuckled and winced at the pain that jack-knifed through her ribs. Daryl started towards her in panic before he realised she was just sore. He threw her an apologetic look and snorted a little laugh as he concluded she was alright.

Carol returned the smile but it faded quickly and she struggled to sit up quickly. "Sophia. Where's Soph-"

"Relax," he interrupted her, pushing her back into the pillows. "She's fine. She's with Lori."

Carol sank down into the pillows, her eyes closing again, clearly overwhelmed with just waking up in strange surroundings and seemingly not yet remembering the grisly details of the day before. Daryl wanted nothing more than to hold her, to erase it all from her memory with his touch before she got the chance to recall any of it. He knew he couldn't though, he would just need to be here to soothe her when it all came back. Her grip on his hand tightened and for a second he feared there was something wrong, until he realised she was just squeezing it.

"How ya feelin'?"

"Lousy," she chuckled. "Like I've been run over. You don't look too hot yourself."

"Gee, thanks," he huffed in amusement.

"How are you feeling?" She asked sincerely, thumbing his knuckles gently. "You look pretty rough."

"Had worse," he grunted truthfully. "I'll live."

She offered him a faint smile, but he could see the question lurking uncertainly behind it and he swallowed, his throat suddenly like sandpaper. He knew before her lips moved what she was going to ask him, and he'd have given anything to keep her from it all.

"Ed…" she croaked, her voice still dry and raspy.

Daryl looked at her softly, unable to find words that could somehow ease the impact, knowing that she would instantly blame herself, that somehow she would find a way to feel bad despite finally being free. His brain resisted, the words disappearing into the shadows and leaving him sitting there drowning in silence.

Realisation crept across her face. Daryl held his breath as he waited for it to sink in, waited for her to break, to be sorry, scared. She looked thoughtful, her eyes falling to her hand, her fingers woven through his. He could see her trying to process the unspoken information, more questions and uncertainties lurking.

"When?" She asked, her eyes locked firmly on their hands.

"Last night, 'bout a half hour after they brought him in." Daryl studied her, trying to work out which way the scales would tip.

She nodded, and he could see her steeling herself against the enormity of it all, against the tidal wave that he knew was coming. Her bottom lip quivered as she offered him a flimsy smile of reassurance that she was okay. His grip on her hand tightened, trying to somehow give her the strength to fight it, but he knew it was pointless. Carol's face crumpled as the tsunami swept over her, silent at first as she tried to swallow it back, then giving way to huge, heart rending sobs rattling out from her throat that made him launch out of his chair to gather her in his arms. Her body was limp and it scared the shit out of him, like she wasn't even in control anymore. He didn't question her tears; he understood. They weren't for Ed, not directly. Everything had finally crashed down on her, and this was how she got to let go of it. One wave crested and fell leaving her unable to catch a breath, before she finally drew breath and unravelled again. She cried against his neck as he cradled her head in his hand, closing his eyes and willing all of her pain, all of her fear to leave her. His fingers soothed the back of her head, gently nestling in her short kinks as he let her cling to him, rocking her softly as it all left her.

"Shhh, I gotcha," he whispered. "I gotcha sweetheart."

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

The next day Daryl left to go pick up a few of her things from the house, and Carol had dozed off for a little while. It was a broken sleep, perforated with sudden jolts awake and dreams of punishment. From Ed, the police… dreams where she would wake and find that none of it had even happened, and she was still married to Ed, still under his rule. Dreams where she'd be running and running, and getting nowhere, like her legs were trapped in the mud. She could feel him gaining on her, his breath snorting down her nape like a raging bull, barrelling down on her.

The dream she found herself in now, she was in the forest. It was peaceful all around her, a gentle haze blurring the outlines of the trees, like a soft filter on a photograph. She could hear voices calling her through the woods, Sophia's sweet, light laughter echoing between the trunks, mingling with birdsong. She followed it as another voice joined, rough and warm, and full of promise. Her feet picked up the pace as the voices grew fainter, stepping quickly at first and then flat out running, until she came to a clearing. She could see them playing tag between the huge redwood towers, Sophia ducking and weaving, and Daryl struggling to keep up with her. The vision filled her with peace and warmth, and she knew she was home. Daryl and Sophia looked up and smiled at her, and as she took a step towards them she couldn't breathe.

She was choking, her throat constricted to the point no air or sound could pass through. Suddenly she was being pulled backwards, and Daryl was running after her as fast as his legs could carry him, but she was moving faster. The hand that had been around her throat was now sunk into her arm, like it had been so many times before, and she knew who it belonged to. She screamed Daryl's name, wailed it until she felt her lungs would burst, but nothing came out of her mouth. She struggled to break free, fought with all her might, and managed to get away. Now she was alone in the forest, but it wasn't peaceful like before. It was dark, shadows circling around her like wolves, and she could hear him breathing at her from every direction. A hand closed around her arm and now she was being shook.

_Carol…_

A voice called to her through the haze, one she vaguely recognised, but not from her dream. The shaking continued.

_Carol…_

The forest was slipping away.

"Carol, sweetie?"

Carol's eyes flickered as reality came to wash away her nightmare. She forced her eyelids apart to reveal a worried looking Lori perched on the edge of her seat, her hand now resting gently where she'd been shaking her only moments ago. Her face felt cold, and wet, her head swimming with sleep.

"Hey, it's okay," Lori hushed her.

"I was dreaming," Carol whispered, her dry throat failing her again.

"Yeah I know… I think everyone on the floor knows." Lori joked.

"Was I talking in my sleep?"

"I wouldn't say talking… you sounded like a cat having its tail stepped on." Lori gave her a little smile, reaching up to wipe the salty tracks from her face.

"Really?" Carol grimaced shamefully. "Oh no."

Lori chuckled softly and rubbed Carol's arm affectionately. "You thirsty?"

"Gasping," Carol groaned, propping herself up to drink.

Carol sipped at her water, trying to blink away the residue of sleep. She felt a little more rested, and stronger than she had when Daryl had sat at her side. Her body still ached, her skin tender and bruised, but she couldn't help feel laying around in bed all day was making her feel worse. She'd much rather be at home with Sophia and Daryl fussing over her instead of strangers. Carol was unsure exactly how long she'd been in hospital but it had to be two days now at least, although it felt like weeks. She had to get out of there.

"Have they said when they're gonna let me out?"

"Honey you're not in prison," Lori tutted, half in amusement. "They just wanna make sure you're okay. You've had a horrible few days, the least you can do is try to get some rest."

Carol looked away uncomfortably, her eyes falling to the cup in her hands. Lori had been to see her yesterday with Sophia, but she'd been fast asleep; this was the first she'd had a chance to visit with her, and Carol could feel the tension rolling off her friend in waves. She waited for the awkwardness to flood her face with warmth, cringing inwardly as she anticipated a lecture for not telling Lori over the phone about Ed. The silence hanging thickly between them was making it hard to breathe.

"I'm so sorry," Lori lamented. "I should've known… I should've been there for you."

"It's not your fault," Carol wrapped her hand over Lori's. "I was the one that left the damn front door unlocked and let him in."

"He shouldn't have even gotten that far… I swear I could kill Shane."

"I think you know that won't solve anything," Carol half smiled. "Ed's gone, nothing else matters. Now I just have to face whatever comes next."

"Hey, nothing is gonna happen to you, you hear me?" Lori squeezed her hand adamantly. "What did Rick say to you earlier?"

"He's pretty sure I won't be held accountable. Says my medical records and the report from a few weeks back should be more than enough evidence to prove self defence." Carol was aware how unconvincing she made it sound. "Not to mention the state of us both."

"Well there you go, nothing to worry about, right?"

Carol wished she could have faith in the possibility, but old habits were dying hard and she still half expected Ed to walk through the door to her room at any moment and bodily drag her from her bed. He might have been dead, but she could still hear his hard voice grating in her ears, his breath still prickling the nape of her neck in cold gooseflesh. She could still see his horrid, glaring eyes imprinted in her mind like a bad tattoo. His glare that now judged her on her ultimate betrayal. Staring at her through empty pits that said she would never be free of him, and that she was finally gonna get what she deserved. Nothing. She would go to prison for his murder, and Sophia would be taken into care leaving her completely alone in the world. It was a ridiculous notion, but she couldn't shake the feeling it left her with. Carol nodded, avoiding Lori's watchful eyes, emptying the last of the water out of her cup.

"Whatever it is you're thinking, get it out of your head now," Lori sighed. "He can't hurt you now. It's over."

"Is it?" Carol looked up uncertainly. "He would be loving every second of this. If I go down for this…"

"That's not going to happen. He came after _you,_ Carol. It's not like you murdered him in his bed."

"Is that what I am?" Carol asked quietly, her voice barely a croak. "A murderer?"

Lori fixed her with a determined look and sighed deeply, the weight of the conversation clearly hindering her breathing. "No. You're a survivor. You could've died… Daryl could've died… but you saved him. Carol he would've killed you both. So don't you go blaming yourself. You survived. Ed got what was coming to him all along."

The recap of recent days events didn't make Carol feel any less to blame for what had happened. She knew Lori was trying her best, but Carol couldn't help but feel this would leave a stain on her soul. _Thou shalt not kill_. She lifted her eyes to the crucifix on the wall facing her bed. Her faith had been tested many times during her marriage to Ed, and she had always prayed for it to stop, for the Lord to give her strength and lead her out of the darkness. Surely this couldn't have been His plan? Carol wondered if God had taken her hand in that moment she raised the firewood above her head and brought it down on Ed, then scolded herself for being so brazen. She had committed the worst sin imaginable; nobody could take responsibility for that except her. She would just have to live with it, and pray for forgiveness.

"I had to," Carol croaked, her voice breaking under the enormity of her guilt. "For Sophia, Daryl… I had to do it. We were never gonna be safe. If he'd put his hands on Sophia-"

"Well he can't now," Lori interrupted sharply. "She's safe, and so are you. And something tells me…" Lori's eyes darted to the glass pane in the door, "…that's all you're ever gonna be from now on."

The door creaked open loudly as Daryl entered the room, pausing as he realised she wasn't alone and almost retreating as if he wasn't allowed to be there. Lori shot her a quick smile and stood, bending to kiss her friend on the forehead and hugging her affectionately.

"I'll see you soon sweetie… Get some rest and remember what I said." Lori rubbed her back and pulled away, turning to leave.

"Thank you," Carol called after her, trying to bite back tears of gratitude.

Lori offered her a soft smile and turned to face Daryl, eyeing him with a new found fondness that didn't go unnoticed. Carol felt her stomach flutter as they shared a look of mutual respect for one another.

"You take good care of my girl," Lori instructed him.

"Always." He directed the word right at her like a vow, looking past Lori and locking her in a gaze that made her melt.

Carol felt colour bleeding into her cheeks and had to pull her eyes away, letting them fall to her hands as Lori, sensing her embarrassment, made her getaway, the door creaking shut and leaving them alone again. Daryl's eyes lingered softly on her, the tiniest of shy smirks curling at the edge of his mouth as he hovered by the door, taking her in.

"Hey," she almost whispered.

"Hey, you get some rest?" Daryl made his way over to the bed and dumped his pack on the floor beside the chair.

"Some," she answered, a frown briefly passing her features.

Daryl eyed her warily; she could almost see him working it out in his head. "Dreams again?"

Carol nodded, not wanting to divulge the nature of the dreams but grateful for the fact that he didn't probe further. It was a strange feeling, being allowed the space to breathe, to decide when she was ready to speak, and not be forced into saying the right thing just because it was expected… _demanded_. Daryl was the opposite side of the same coin, he understood how she worked, because he was wired exactly the same. She could see the patience and understanding in the depths of his gaze, and all of a sudden she felt foolish for going back to Ed, back to a life of misery and fear, when something so much more was waiting for her beyond those walls. His eyes swam with such intense warmth it made her stomach flutter. He didn't say a word, and he didn't have to. She could see into his soul. She knew in that moment that he would do anything for her, that he would wait however long it took for her to open up to him… and she loved him for that.

"What you thinkin'?" He broke the silence, studying her inquisitively.

"I'm just thinking," she smiled. "Wondering how I got so lucky."

"Lucky?" He shot her a confused look.

"Mmhmm," she hummed, waiting for him to work it out, before finally huffing in mock exasperation. "You, ya big dummy!"

Realisation flooded his face, turning his cheeks a hot pink. "Pfft, I didn't do nothin'-"

"Yeah you did," she interrupted, twisting her fingers through his as he tried to hide behind long flicks of dark hair. "You came back."

His eyes found hers from under the cover of his hair and she hoped that he understood what she meant. For weeks now she'd been admonishing him outwardly for coming back after all this time, but now she couldn't have been more glad that he did. For years there had been a deep chasm in her heart, sealed shut by the thinnest, most fragile line, ready to burst open again and let him in if he ever came back into her life, and it had happened in half a heartbeat. From the moment she'd literally bumped into him again, she'd felt it; she'd felt the stirring deep inside that void, known that there would be no stopping it as it ripped through her again, taking her heart and soul prisoner. She was definitely captive as her eyes took in every beautiful, flawed inch of the man sitting beside her. Daryl held her gaze, seemingly struggling to push out the words that had formed on his tongue, as if he'd had them planned all along but now didn't think they would be enough. He swallowed hard and she realised his eyes were glimmering with tears.

"I came back… for you."

Carol gave his hand a gentle squeeze and brought it to her lips, kissing his battered knuckles softly and fixing him with her warmest smile. Just at that there was a knock at the door and it creaked open before Carol had a chance to respond.

"Ahh Sleeping Beauty… you're awake!" Carol rolled her eyes good naturedly at Dr Edwards as he came into the room, beaming a megawatt smile in her direction. "How are we today?"

"I'm feeling much better," Carol tried her best to sound convincing.

"Hmm well your colouring is definitely much improved from yesterday. You made Casper the ghost look like he'd spent a week in the Bahamas."

The doctor let out a hearty laugh which fizzled out when he looked back at her and met with a blank expression. Daryl threw him a look of contempt and she noticed his body tense up. Carol tried her best to suppress a smile. He was already in guard dog mode and she felt warm inside, the notion of someone protecting her instantly filling her with a newfound sensation she couldn't quite define.

"Anyway…" he flipped through his notes, "your bloodwork has come back normal, x rays are good too, nothing broken."

Carol felt a swell of hope at the prognosis and sat up straight in her bed. "Does this mean I can go home?"

Dr Edwards bit his lip and studied her for a moment. "I'd rather you stayed one more night, just to rest a bit more and put my mind at ease."

Carol sagged back into her pillows in frustration. "It's not like I've been in a car crash or something, I'm okay, honestly!"

"Let me be the judge of that." Dr Edwards responded knowingly.

"But I feel fine-"

"Yes but if I let you go and you're not fine, it's on me…" Dr Edwards turned his attention to Daryl. "Help me out here buddy?"

Daryl looked from him to Carol uncertainly and she just knew he was going to agree with the doctor. Her heart sank at the concern still present in his eyes as he chewed his lip, debating whether to dice with death and agree. She'd half expected him to fight her corner but she knew she was clutching at straws. Daryl sighed and dipped his head, his hair falling across his face again, like it would hide him when he told her what she didn't want to hear.

"Jus' one more night. For me?" He looked up at her pleadingly, his thumb tracing her knuckles absently.

Carol frowned and pursed her lips in a sulk as her eyes darted between her captive audience, the two of them ganging up on her and taking the decision out of her hands. She knew they were right, but she was loath to admit it. Another night staring at the walls stretched out in front of her and she groaned at the prospect, reluctantly accepting it was for her own good.

"Well it doesn't look like I have much choice now, does it?" Carol huffed in resignation.

Dr Edwards smiled and made his way towards the door. "Good, that's settled then. Besides, you pretty the place up. I'm not ready for you to go just yet."


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Hello all! How is everyone coping with hiatus? I know, I know it sucks but don't worry, it's only til Feb! **

**Apologies for this being late and for anyone who was concerned for my wellbeing. I didn't intend to cause a panic, but thank you for your concern, you guys are sweet. It's been super stressy/busy at work and in real life with the mad Christmas rush and all. That and I have been struggling a little trying to keep ahead of time with these last few chapters which is why I had about 15 written before I even posted Chapter 1! I knew somehow that this was a possibility and lo and behold, I'm starting to panic!**

**Anyway, Chapter 26. One of the very first scenes I wrote for Embers believe it or not, waaaay back in February of this year! Inspired by a Carrie Underwood song, which made me cry the first time I heard it, because it made me think of these two. Yes, I know I am PATHETIC. It's different from what I originally wrote, but the way the story has turned out would have made it look weird. So, minor tweaks and voila! I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: TWD and its characters are property of Kirkman, AMC and so on. No copyright intended. **

Chapter 26

A little over a week had passed since Carol got out of hospital, and already the summer seemed to have burnt itself out, the warm air barely lingering, whispering through the crisp leaves now clinging by a thread, heralding the changing of the seasons.

It had been hard for her, stepping back inside the cabin, where it had all happened. Forensics had cleaned it up so well it was impossible to tell that not even two weeks ago there had been a body laying lifeless and bleeding on the floor. But the moment Carol had walked in she could see Ed lying there; she could _feel _him, and she started to wonder whether she would ever look at that spot on the floor and not see the puddle of dark crimson seeping into the floorboards. Would she ever walk into the living room and not feel that chill gripping her bones? Thank God Sophia hadn't been there to look at the grisly sight, she was spared that trauma at least.

Carol and Sophia were Ed's only next of kin, meaning their house automatically fell to Carol. She decided without a moment's hesistation that it would go up for sale. None of the memories living within those four walls were happy. Every one of them that could have been was shrouded in fear and darkness, ever quaking beneath the shadow of the man she'd married. Daryl didn't say anything when she announced her plan, he'd simply nodded… he understood. He'd asked Dale for advice and he'd given Daryl the number of a real-estate agent who was a friend of his, and they'd sent someone out to survey the property and give them a valuation. The 'For Sale' sign was due to go up at the weekend, and Carol had yet to clear out hers and the rest of Sophia's things, ready for prospective viewers to look around. She'd been dreading it; she hadn't been back at the house since she'd taken Sophia and fled in the middle of the night, and going back filled her with unease. Sensing her trepidation, Daryl had immediately insisted he help her with the clearing out, but somehow that made her feel worse, the idea of him helping her sift through her haunted memories. They'd pulled up outside the property on the way to school, and the tightening coil in Carol's stomach was making her nauseous.

Daryl turned to look at her, leaning on the steering wheel with his forearm. "I'll drop Sophia off then head back… You be alright?"

"I'm a big girl," she smiled, hoping the knot in her stomach didn't betray her. "I can manage for a bit."

"Alright," Daryl nodded.

Carol opened the door of the truck and pulled Sophia in for a peck on the cheek. "Have a good day baby."

"You too Mama, love you."

"Loved you first," Carol smiled.

She heaved the truck door shut and gave a little wave to Sophia as they pulled away, leaving her alone on the sidewalk. She could almost feel the house behind her, as if it were watching her. Carol turned around and looked at the place she had called home for over a decade. It only struck her now how drab the house was, compared with how bright all the other houses in the street were. Gardens peppered with brightly coloured flowers and water features, and then there was her excuse for a garden. A lacklustre lawn and a path; not exactly inviting. As she took the path she recalled many times she'd travelled it before, wondering what awaited her when she reached the end of it, visions of cattle being herded to their fate invading her mind. She pulled the keys from her pocket, the noise almost comfortingly familiar, and turned one in the lock, stepping inside.

The door closed behind her and the once familiar noise now sounded foreign to her ears, like it had changed somehow, the atmosphere in the house now different. It was strange to be back here; all of their belongings remained, exactly where she remembered them last, but they held no meaning, no sentimental value. She felt like she was looking back in time, at someone else's life. She stood in the hallway, the tang of stale cigarette smoke still hanging in the air, and if she closed her eyes she could almost swear she could feel him still here, asleep in his chair or barking at her to get him a beer. His voice echoed in her ears, his dry snarky laugh at whatever he was watching; the sound even resonating in her mind grated on her nerves, prickling her skin in gooseflesh. _He's gone_. Carol tutted, huffing the imaginary irritant out of her system, and made her way into the kitchen, putting the keys next to the phone, a long engrained habit she had yet to unlearn.

The odour of stale smoke was stronger in the kitchen, Ed's last cigarette butt crushed out in the ashtray, his chair scraped back in a wide arc where he'd obviously gotten up and skulked out in a rage when he'd realised she and Sophia were gone. There were still dishes in the sink from Sophia's dinner the night they'd left the house. Carol had meant to wash them up before he'd got home, but her mind had been saturated with everything, and she'd gone up to lie down and lost several hours swimming in her thoughts. It all seemed like so long ago. She stood at the sink, staring down at the plate and the empty glass, trying to remember a single time in thirteen years she hadn't washed up right after dinner. How many meals had she slaved over and then had to clean up the kitchen afterwards? Mealtimes spent predominantly under a heavy silence, neither she or Sophia daring to speak unless his mood dictated otherwise. Sometimes he would pass comment on the food, and even occasionally make an effort at conversing, but she knew that beneath the surface there was a timer running, counting down to his next explosion. Carol frowned at the wasted years, and not just hers… Sophia's. Carol had been lucky, growing up knowing no different than the love of her parents. Sophia had only ever known fear and uncertainty. She didn't know if she could ever forgive herself for that.

Carol made her way out of the kitchen and found herself hovering in the hallway again. It was strange, knowing that this wasn't where she lived anymore and pretty soon someone else would call it home. A family she imagined, just starting out, all young and full of hope. The walls would vibrate with the laughter of children maybe, and not the rumbling terror they had felt for years. The quiet surrounded her, and now that she was actually here, for the first time probably ever, she wasn't afraid to be alone in the house. She knew Ed was gone, and that no matter how long she stood in the empty hallway, she wouldn't hear him cussing at the tv, or hear the disgusting rasp of his morning snoring echoing down the stairs.

Carol pushed the white noise to the back of her mind and started up the staircase, switching to productive mode, wanting nothing more than to make a start on it and just get everything done as quickly as possible. The quicker she was rid of this god forsaken place the better. She didn't relish the idea of going into what had been hers and Ed's room, so she decided to make a start on Sophia's. The only room in the house that had been void of any clouds of despair, Carol instantly felt light as she stepped foot in the small room. The baby pink walls adorned with drawings and various little snippets of her life; her bookshelf all tidy and organised; her shoes lined up neatly against the wall. It felt strange with Sophia's bed missing. Daryl and Sophia had been over and picked it up along with her clothes and things she needed for school, but most of her belongings had still to be packed up. Carol tried to kick start her brain into action and pack what she could carry, which meant having to go into the other room and rake through the closet to find bags.

The door to her bedroom was open slightly, and she could smell him in the room before she even stepped into it. His scent hung in the stuffy air of the room, the bedclothes crumpled in a heap where he'd thrown them back. It was like revisiting the scene of a thousand crimes. She shuddered at the memory of the night she left, what she'd almost had to endure, how _lucky _she was that he had passed out. There were times when she hadn't been so lucky, and she wondered about the morning after if she hadn't escaped. Another day under Ed's regime, quaking in fear, the guilt consuming her for hurting both Sophia and Daryl. The thought niggled away at her, and she tried to banish it from her mind, moving towards the closet and sliding the door open.

Ed's clothes were still hanging up, and the sight of them stopped her in her tracks. She caught a whiff of the god awful cologne he used to wear and almost threw up on the spot. It was such a sensory overload; the smell of him, sharp and overpowering, and it touched everything. She could practically taste it. Carol screwed her face up against the scent and rummaged for the bags. The question was floating around in her mind again, refusing to leave her alone. _What if you had stayed?_ The notion made her shudder, because she already knew what the answer was. He would've seen the dent in his precious car, yelled at her, she'd have taken a beating most likely. Then it would all die down again and the clouds would simmer and build until next time… and there _was_ always a next time.

_Gettin' pretty damn sick of your shit…_

Irritation was stewing into anger in the pit of her stomach, her brow furrowed at her own stupidity. She'd cowered under him for so long, and for what? Rifling through the bottom of the closet, she realised her possessions took up barely a hair of space, because she hardly had any. Practically nothing to show for her life thus far. Her eyes were burning like hot coals in her head, her vision starting to blur as the fire raged inside her. She'd lived here for thirteen years and to look at the place you couldn't tell. She was invisible, and she always had been. Carol's blood ran hot in her veins, tension pulsing through her body in waves, as she recalled every incident that had ever occurred, and the way she just stood there and took every barbed comment, every blow without complaint, and she wanted to scream. Angry bullets forced themselves from her eyes, streaking down her cheeks as she thought of everything she'd ever wanted to say to his face but never had the guts to. Every put down, every ungrateful, sarcastic comeback he'd snapped at her, every bitter look of disgust in his leering eyes…

_This is my damn house. _

Something inside her snapped, and a red mist descended in front of her as she started ripping his clothes off the rail and launching them across the room. The effort left her almost breathless as she heaved fishing gear and waterproofs, hauling everything out of the closet. She had no idea what she was doing, but looking at all of his things in front of her was driving her rage, fuelling the flames as her hands fell to boxes upon boxes of trophies and mementos of hunting trips over the years. Without thinking, she grabbed the first one and hurled it at the wall. It missed the window by a fraction, but left a rather noticeable dent in the plaster.

_Ha. Can't even do that right. You're useless. _

"SHUT UP!" She screamed, launching another missile.

This one collided with the mirror on her dressing table and she felt a surge of euphoria as the glass smashed and scattered on the bedroom floor. Her heart was flying. She reached into the box and pulled out a framed photo of Ed and his hunting buddies with a stag they'd just shot. Ed was sitting on the animal, hauling it up by the antlers, his face a picture of pride. The sight of him made her teeth clench. The same smug look plastered on his face, controlling the animal's fate like it was his to own, just like he'd owned hers. She stood up, her breathing coming in short, barely contained rasps.

The picture hit the wall and exploded, impacting with such velocity the frame splintered and tumbled to the floor, the photo inside somehow surviving. Carol flew across the room and pulled it from the shrapnel, sobs laced with growls as she ripped it to pieces. She was gasping for air now, her entire body trembling as she tried to get her bearings. One of the trophies lay at her feet and didn't look nearly badly damaged enough for her liking. She picked it up ready to hurl it right at the window.

"Whoa, hey!"

Carol hadn't heard Daryl even come in, but then again she hadn't been aware of much except the boiling of her own blood in her veins. His strong arms caught her and she let him take over, her body finally giving in to the fatigue and the release. She sagged against him as he managed to pry the trophy from her hand and sit her gently on the bed.

"Jesus, wait right here, don't move…"

Suddenly he was rushing off somewhere and she sat in a trance, her heart rate finally beginning to slow and her breathing coming back down. Daryl returned and took her hand, wrapping it in a towel and elevating it. It was then she saw the blood dotted all over the carpet and streaking up her forearm.

"You're alright," Daryl spoke softly, his voice soothing her jagged nerves instantly. "I gotcha, it's okay."

Carol's eyes gradually readjusted, his thumb gently soothing the back of her hand and bringing her around. She surveyed the devastated room in horror and felt shame creeping into her cheeks.

"Oh God… what have I done?"

"Don't worry, we'll fix it alright? Hey…" Daryl tilted her chin to look at him. "It's gonna be okay."

"I don't know what came over me." Carol swallowed back the lump that had risen in her throat. "I-I was in Sophia's room, came in here to get a bag and I just…"

"I should never have left ya on your own… Stupid." Daryl scolded himself.

"I never meant to-"

"Hey it's okay, you don't gotta explain. I get it. When I came back, first time I set foot in the cabin, I took Merle's baseball bat and levelled the place." Daryl snorted.

Carol watched him, a little surprised and intrigued by this new information, wincing slightly as he unwrapped her hand from the saturated towel and inspected it through narrowed eyes. The bleeding from her finger had almost completely stopped; the cut looked worse than it was. She waited for him to continue.

"He was everywhere… my old man." Daryl pulled open a band aid and gently started applying it. "It was a shit tip, exactly how he'd left it. The whole damn place stank of him… I just lost it. Started swingin', smashin' shit up 'til I felt sick. I had to get him out. Felt like the only way to start over."

"Did you?" Carol asked quietly. "Start over?"

Daryl looked up at her with soft eyes, studying her quietly as he considered his response. "I'm tryin'. Didn't think there was any point at first… 'til there was."

The look in his eyes filled her heart with so much love she thought she was going to break down again, and she had to bite her lip against the swell of the tide. She held his gaze for a moment, before the intensity of it painted a blush on her cheeks that had her pulling away.

"You get another shot too," Daryl said, tracing the back of her hand with his thumb. "Ain't sayin' it's gonna be easy, but you ain't alone anymore."

A tear spilled over the edge and down her cheek, and Daryl's finger caught it, gently stroking it away. Her skin tingled at his touch, her hand settling over his and holding it in place. Her heart quickened a little in her chest, the weight of his stare crushing the breath from her lungs as his eyes pulled her in. Softly his mouth sought hers, delivering a kiss so gentle she was glad to be sitting down or she might have fallen. It was so much different from the other times. Not fuelled by anger, or desperation, or sheer longing. It sent the butterflies in her chest crazy, wings thrumming wildly as Daryl held her close.

He pulled back slowly, giving her one last look that left her in no doubt about what he meant, before heaving himself to his feet.

"C'mon…" Daryl tugged her uninjured hand, pulling her up beside him. "We don't gotta do this now…"

"No, it's alright. I'm alright. They're only things." Carol insisted, taking a deep breath. "I can do it. I have to do it."

"You sure?" Daryl asked her.

Carol nodded, gathering every last shred of strength she could find within herself as she surveyed the wrecked room. She lifted her eyes to meet Daryl's again, giving her the final boost she needed.

"Yeah, I'm sure. This is where I start over."

_**xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx**_

They had eventually managed to straighten up the mess at the house, getting a fair amount done so the place looked presentable for viewings. Daryl knew it was hard for her, sifting through the pages of her life and having to rehash things she wished she could forget, but he was there through it all, making sure she didn't give up. He was so damn proud of her for even trying. She'd seemed determined to just block out whatever she was feeling and blast through the task in hand. Now though, he couldn't shake the feeling that it was all just a façade for everyone else's benefit, like she was one breath away from breaking down again.

Sophia had gone to stay over at Carl's, and Daryl had prepared a quiet dinner for two. He just hadn't expected it to be _this_ quiet. He tried not to make his concern obvious, concentrating on clearing his own plate, but the atmosphere hung thickly in the air between them, and he half wondered if he was just making something out of nothing. Allowing himself the odd quick glance up at her, he watched as she picked at her meal halfheartedly then pushed the food around her plate with her fork.

"Everythin' alright?" He eventually asked.

Carol sighed, finally putting down her fork. "It's nice, I'm just not all that hungry. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's alright."

Daryl cleared the plates away, sparing her the obligation of eating. He turned back to face her and folded his arms, the faraway look on her face unsettling him. She must have sensed his concern, her eyes darting up to meet his.

"You don't have to do that."

Daryl frowned in response, unsure what she meant.

"Look at me as if I'm gonna break," she half smirked. "I'm alright Daryl."

"You sure?"

She nodded thoughtfully. "I know this morning it must've looked like I wasn't, and I guess I wasn't really. Think it's all just gonna take a while to get used to."

"Yeah," Daryl agreed. "Well we got all the time in the world. As long as it takes."

Carol smiled back at him gratefully and lifted the tension just a little from his shoulders.

Her eyes lingered for a moment, warming him up from the inside, reminding him just what it felt like to be seventeen again. Feeling the colour rising to his cheeks he scratched his head and tried to conjour up a diversion, praying he didn't look like the same loser he'd been back then. Carol saved him the trouble, scraping back her chair and making her way into the living room. Daryl took his cue and followed her, watching as she examined his cd collection, trailing a finger along the cases lined up on the shelf.

"So whaddaya wanna do now?"

"Can we put on some music?"

"Music?" Daryl echoed, caught off guard by the request.

"Yeah, might help me relax."

"Alright," Daryl nodded his head. "Give it a shot."

Carol pressed play on the cd player, and the speakers came to life, halfway through a song, and he realised too late the last cd he'd listened to. She looked up at him, a playful pout on her lips and he dipped his head, ready to take whatever smartass comments she was planning to roast him with.

"Carrie Underwood?" Carol teased. "Would never have had you pegged as a Carrie fan, Dixon."

"Hey, ain't nothin' wrong with Carrie Underwood," he stated defensively.

"Oh no I agree," Carol hummed. "She's one of my favourites."

Daryl tried to stifle a grin, unable to help the way his mouth tried to curl at the edges at the sight of the mischievous glint returning to her eyes. She was starting to come back to him, and as hard as the day had been on her, she still managed to find a smile for him, and he hoped that somehow he had been responsible. As the upbeat song finished, the first notes of a country ballad hummed out of the speakers, and her face softened, the smile in her eyes barely lingering, giving way to something deeper that had been there all along, waiting for him.

"Dance with me?"

Daryl swallowed hard, the request taking him by surprise. "Dance? Pfft, no. Don't think ya want me steppin' on your toes."

"You won't. There's nothing to it, trust me."

Carol moved towards him, and took his hand, placing his other on her waist. From there Daryl gathered her in his arms, his hand slipping around to settle in the small of her back, holding her close to him.

_Once upon a time our world was on fire_

_and I loved to watch it burn, wild and reckless_

_never any limits__…_

It wasn't as difficult as he'd feared, in fact it seemed to come naturally. He began to relax into it, his body swaying with her, rocking her softly. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and gave a small sigh as he rested his head against hers. Her breath on his skin made him shiver and his heart beat a little quicker. He had her fingers wrapped in his, resting between them over his heart as they swayed slowly. She was so warm pressed against him, and he couldn't help but close his eyes and nuzzle closer to her.

_Guess I had a lot to learn_

_cause fire turns to embers, embers to ashes_

_that blow away too soon__…_

The words tugged at something inside him, making a lump swell uninvited in his throat. They had blown away too soon, and they'd lost so much time already it made him want to curse the stars. His grip on her strengthened, as if to remind himself that they were really here after all this time, and that he would rather die than let go of her ever again.

"I missed you," Carol lifted her head, the words obviously resonating with her too, her voice barely audible.

"I know," he responded quietly. "Missed you too." His palm found her face, his thumb whispering over her cheek as he got lost in those eyes.

_Now everything after you is like having,_

_wine after whiskey__… It went from_

_do anything for ya baby… to _

_you don't even miss me…_

Carol leaned into his touch, a little sigh escaping, like she'd waited her whole life for this moment. She leaned in to rest her head against his, almost in relief, and all Daryl could do was close his eyes. It had been a long time coming, and now that he was here in this moment with her, he never wanted it to end.

_Once you__'__ve tasted a love that strong_

_You can__'__t go back and you can__'__t settle on_

_Anything less__…_

Carol pulled back slowly, lifting her lashes to look into his eyes. Her mouth was so agonisingly close. He closed the gap so that their noses brushed gently, her warm breaths making his heart blaze fiercely.

"I ain't ever leavin' you," he whispered.

"You never did."

Daryl leaned in and Carol's breath left her in a soft rush, like she'd been holding it, as his lips barely grazed hers. The need he felt was unbearable. He wanted to smother her, to extinguish any doubt she could have over how he felt, but he held back, wanting to savour every last second of the sweet ache he was feeling. His eyes burned, heavy with longing as he gauged her reaction. Her eyes locked on his lips and she paused briefly, seemingly unable to breathe until he moved again. Daryl took the hint and tilted her chin, giving him better access to fully capture her soft mouth. Her hands buried themselves in the warmth of his chest as his arms enveloped her, crushing her body against his. He was finding it difficult to draw breath, the relentless banging of his heart making it increasingly hard work. He buried his fingers in her hair and opened his willing mouth to her tongue, drinking her in as she backed him slowly into the wall. She was taking over, and Daryl had no problem with that. She could do whatever she wanted, because this was everything… _she_ was everything. All he could focus on was the warmth of her mouth on his and the thunder in his ribcage.

He caressed the crown of soft hair on her head, his fingers weaving absently through the rapidly greying wisps. She was damn near perfect in his hands, and he swore a silent oath that he would make her see it somehow. Her hands snaked up around his neck, pulling him even deeper into her kiss, and it was all too quickly apparent that this time there would be no backing away. His pulse quickened in his ears, fuelled by the rush surging through him and by her quick breaths.

Carol pressed against him, her leg between his, making her desire painfully obvious as she rolled her body against his, never breaking the kiss not even to breathe. The feeling overwhelmed him and he couldn't help the breathy groan that escaped his throat at the intimate contact. She began to unpick the buttons on his shirt, every brush of her fingers over his skin setting his nerve endings on fire. He broke away for a minute, his chest heaving, exploring every facet of her eyes, searching for even the tiniest sliver of uncertainty, that she wasn't ready, but there was none. Daryl experimentally slid his hands under her shirt, his fingertips barely kissing the soft skin above her waistband, his thumbs tentatively exploring the outskirts of her tummy. Carol visibly relished the contact, leaning into his touch and encouraging him to venture higher. Her skin prickled with goosebumps under his touch, and as he grazed her ribs her breath hitched a little. He gave her a glance, seeking permission and she gave it with a nod, raising her arms and allowing him to peel the garment over her head. Her mouth was on his again, smothering him with her kiss urgently, making it plain that things weren't moving as fast as she would like. Daryl took the hint, grabbing her thighs and hoisting her up, kissing her with growing ferocity as she wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms locking around his neck. He carried her to the couch, laying her down as gently as he could. He kissed her hungrily, growling softly to himself as his need to be closer to her grew. .

Carol reached behind to pick at the clasp of her bra. As she slid the straps off her shoulders, he swallowed hard at the sight of her body bared to him. She was beautiful, and he felt like he had no right to even look at her, let alone touch her, she was so far out of his league. Carol looked up at him, the softness in her eyes telling him she understood he was nervous, but that he had no need to be.

"It's okay," she whispered, taking his hand in hers and settling it on her body.

As he complied she yielded eagerly to his touch, her lower body just brushing his erection and eliciting a little sigh. Daryl sought out her lips again, craving the warmth and sweetness of her mouth. Carol unbuckled his belt hurriedly and it fell to the floor with a clatter. They freed each other from their clothes in turn, skin melting into skin as the layers fell to the floor. Carol let her hand wander, snaking lower until she reached her destination. The feeling of her small, delicate hand on the most intimate part of him was almost enough to undo him on the spot.

"Ain't gonna last long if you keep doin' that," he breathed.

Carol nuzzled at his lips tenderly as she slid her hand inside the material of his underwear and settled around him gently. She began to stroke him slowly and he was embarrassed at the little whimper that escaped his lips, his hips betraying him and pushing towards her hand. Her hand moved along his eager length and he knew he definitely wouldn't last long. His underwear found its way to the floor, followed closely by Carol's. The feeling in his chest was so intense he could hardly breathe. His fingers tenderly traced the inside of her thigh and with an insistent roll of her hips he could feel how ready she was, her breath giving out in a rush as he caressed her.

"I need you now... please," she whispered against his ear.

It was all the encouragement Daryl needed and he lowered himself, pushing her legs apart a little more as he positioned himself to sink into her. Carol gasped as he filled her, and the sensation just about took his breath away; she was so warm, her body contracting around him receptively. He gave her a look to make sure she was alright and that he hadn't hurt her. She silenced his concern before it left his lips by rocking slightly under him, encouraging him to move. It was a slow, tender movement at first, Daryl pushing gently as his mouth made love to hers. Their two bodies merged as they moved in perfect sync, giving themselves completely to each other. Daryl rolled his hips slowly, the feeling of being buried inside her almost too intense, trying to keep control of himself as her inner muscles pulled him in further.

His heart pistoned in his chest, overwhelmed by a feeling he'd only ever felt once before, but this time it was amplified tenfold by too many years apart. A fire burned within him as he moved inside of her and his hands explored every sweet inch of her. Fingertips whispered over her skin leaving goosebumps in their wake. Needy little whimpers muffled as he kissed the breath from her like he'd just discovered heaven and didn't want to leave. It was all soft lips and tongues; a yearning that had been pent up for too long and was now coming full circle. Their kisses became more feverish as excitement grew between them, their movements much more urgent and with purpose. Her heavy breaths were fuelling his desire and he knew he couldn't hold out much longer. He would try for as long as his eyes could still see, his pelvis running away from him, his emotions snatching control out of his reach.

"Daryl, please…"

A heartfelt cry escaped her lips as she unravelled around him. Her body shuddered as euphoria ripped through her in waves, her legs wound tightly around Daryl's waist, gripping him as aftershocks rocked her. He felt his control snap like a rubber band.

"Oh God-"

Daryl cried out as he finally gave himself to her, his voice trembling with emotion as he moved deeper within her, his body shivering as the whole moment exploded inside him like a supernova. Everything he'd ever felt for her, everything he'd ever wanted to tell her, he was saying it now with every movement of his hips and every sweet cry that left his throat. He hoped to God she could hear what he was saying, that she felt it too. The delirium of it all made his head ache and he fell down beside her, the sheer scale of it almost bringing him to tears.

Daryl pulled her into his arms and kissed the back of her neck as they lay huddled on the couch, the silence perforated by heavy, exhausted breaths. His arm closed around her waist, pulling her flush with his sweat slicked body. She felt like fire against his skin. Carol scooted around to snuggle into his chest and he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. He didn't say a word, unable to guarantee he wouldn't fall apart just looking into her eyes, but somehow words seemed useless. They weren't enough to tell her what he felt in that moment for her. Daryl nestled his chin in her hair, his eyes flickering dreamily as he fought the lure of sleep. He felt void of any coherent thought other than how complete he felt with her, lying here in his arms, and as he felt her body relax against him he pulled a blanket over them both.

Daryl couldn't fight the faintest smile that pulled on the corner of his lips as they fell asleep. She was back in his arms, for good this time, and he realised that she was the only thing he'd ever wanted, _needed _in his life, and it had never left him.

The feeling in the core of his chest as he pulled her close, told him that it never would.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: **

**In the words of Randy Quaid in Independence Day, "Hello boys… I'm baaaaack!"**

**Happy New Year one and all, hope you had a lovely time. Apologies for my absence. A busy festive period at work, followed by a depression of sorts re Christmas wrapping and stressing myself out to the point of drinking a whole bottle of chocolate Baileys in one evening, then coupled with various annoyances which I will try not to go into… have been the cause of it. **

**I have loved bringing Embers to life and even I suppose the tearing out my hair, the constant re-writes, editing, re-editing then going back to what I already had, and the emotional wringer I have put both myself and my good friend kaoscraze through trying to make it what it is. The last few chapters however have really hit me hard. I started this story in February last year, and I'm not kidding when I say it has taken over my life. Making it believable, making sure everyone is as much in character as possible and not having them say/do stuff I can't ever imagine them saying or doing, has been a task. This is my first *serious* multi chapter fic and I had 15 chapters written and ready to go before I even posted, but putting out a chapter a week eventually caught up with me and prompted me to take a much needed break and relieve some of my stress. **

**I can't churn out 5 chapters of a story a week… I can't even churn out one most weeks! I need time to think through every detail of how something is going to play out and whether it's even going to work, and of late ideas have been thin on the ground and I guess I just let it get to me. I've had to give my dear NL a wide berth and get my head straight while I try to finish it. I can't promise once a week updates right now but I will try my very hardest. I'm almost at the finish line; I think I just let myself get too stressed out. Let's hope I can run across it instead of crashing! **

**Disclaimer: TWD and all its characters are property of Kirkman, AMC yadda yadda.**

**Disclaimer 2: I missed you. *snugs***

Chapter 27

Carol slept soundly and dreamlessly, for the first time in as long as she could remember, and as she stirred throughout the night she revelled in the warm body wrapped around hers. The pitch blackness of the room for once didn't fill her with fear. She felt Daryl's soft, steady breaths tickle the back of her neck, and that was all she needed to fall back to sleep with a contented sigh, his arm draped over her waist, anchoring her in place.

The sun rose and crept across the sky, scattering its light across the living room. They slept curled up in the warmth of each other as the world came to life around them. It was almost noon when the quiet was shattered abruptly. Carol's heart almost rocketed up through her mouth as Daryl jumped suddenly behind her, a sharp wail of agony piercing the quiet and almost frightening her half to death.

"What?! What's wrong?" she panted, panic rising in her chest.

"Goddamn it!" He cried, gripping his leg and wincing in agony. "Fuckin' cramp!"

Carol scooted round on the couch, trying clumsily to cover her modesty with the blanket, and took his foot in her hand. She slowly but firmly bent his foot until his toes pointed towards his head, stretching out his calf muscle. Gently she massaged his leg with her other hand and gradually Daryl started to relax, the hard lines in his face softening, and he let his head loll back on the cushion.

"Well sleepin' on the damn couch wasn't our best idea," he groaned.

"No, I guess not," Carol smiled shyly, manipulating his leg muscle with her fingers and avoiding his eyes.

"It was worth it though… right?"

The uncertainty in his voice made Carol look up, and she could see it lurking behind his gentle blue gaze. Her hand stilled on his leg, the question taking her by surprise.

"I'd do it again in a heartbeat," she affirmed. "Well… maybe notthe sleeping on the couch… or waking up with a crick in my neck."

A ghost of a smile flickered across his features that sent her heart fluttering wildly. It was crazy, but he still had the power to make it skip in her chest with just the softest blink of his eyes. "C'mere." Daryl sat up and motioned for her to scoot closer to him.

Carol shifted towards him, shivering as the blanket fell from her shoulders and settled in her lap, leaving her top half exposed. Daryl's breath on her bare back threatened to melt her from the inside out, and she tried to compose herself. The second his hands began to work her sore neck and shoulders she went limp, her head lolling forward in relief and bliss. He worked deep circles into her tender muscles, totally disabling her. His hands were strong and work roughened, and the feel of them on her skin made her tingle. Her body was in danger of betraying her, her nipples already starting to peak eagerly as she melted into his touch. His hand slowed, his touches becoming softer, fingertips whispering like feathers across the base of her neck and sending a shiver through her core. He continued his assault on her senses, his hand trailing torturously down the curves of her back, his fingers barely kissing her skin. Then his warm lips were on her shoulder, the bristle of his scruff setting her entire body ablaze. She tilted her head, inviting him to creep further along. His tongue swept up the curve of her neck, punctuated by warm, wet kisses, and the minute she felt his hot breath in her ear, Carol knew this was only going to end one way. She turned her head slightly to meet eyes that were dark with desire, her heart bumping a merry rhythm in her chest as she delved into their depths.

A sudden knocking had her almost jumping out of her skin, for one awful moment unable to remember whether or not they had locked the front door. Daryl steadied her, the lustful haze never leaving his eyes as he moved in on her mouth, his lips capturing hers so softly she thought she might explode with need. He clearly intended to ignore whoever was at the door, his hands finding their way to her neck and threatening to travel lower, almost holding her in place, ensuring she couldn't escape. Carol would've gladly gone along with it, had it not been for the small voice that eventually called out.

"Mama? Daryl?" Sophia's voice grew faint as she spoke to someone else. "You think they're asleep still?"

Carol heard a voice she presumed to be Lori's answer a muffled reply, and then more impatient rapping at the door. She reluctantly wrestled herself away from Daryl, feeling around on the floor for her clothes. She'd have given anything to just lay there in the toasty warmth, with his hot mouth on her body, but Sophia was waiting and it somehow seemed improper to do such things with her daughter on the other side of the door.

Daryl looked disappointed but amused as she threw his clothes to him. As she got dressed he wrapped the blanket around himself and headed upstairs to get dressed. Carol felt a slight pang of disappointment at the loss as she watched him go. She finished getting dressed and headed for the door.

Sophia bounced in as Carol opened it, throwing her arms around her waist, inadvertently making her wince at pain that hadn't quite vanished yet. Sophia pulled back wearing an apologetic grimace.

"Sorry Mama, did I hurt you?"

Carol ignored the niggle and put a brave face on it. "It's alright, I'm just a little stiff is all."

She felt like she was under surveillance all of a sudden, and didn't miss the way Lori's eyes were roaming up and down her frame, taking in details that translated into a knowing little smile on her face. Carol tried to will away the flush threatening to paint her cheeks.

"I tried calling you, but there was no answer."

"Yeah, guess I was still a little tired." Carol brushed off her amused gawping and turned her attention back to Sophia. "You have a good night at Lori's?"

"Yeah, we played hide and seek, it was so funny! We're going swimming Mama, you wanna come?"

"Oh I'd love to honey, but I still have a few things to do at the house." Carol brushed a strand of sandy hair behind Sophia's ear. "You go and have fun."

Sophia grinned and ran upstairs in search of her bathing suit. Carol watched her go, reveling in her excitement at doing normal things without fear of being told she couldn't. Her radar told her she was being watched again and she turned around to find Lori staring at her with that same look on her face she'd worn only minutes earlier.

"So… you get up to much last night?" She enquired suggestively.

"Oh, y'know," Carol deflected awkwardly.

Lori cocked an eyebrow at her, fixing her with a mischievous glare. "Yeah, I know…"

Carol felt the colour heating her face but couldn't fight the smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. Lori laughed softly.

"What?" Carol eyed her bashfully.

"It's so good to see you smiling," Lori replied. "I didn't think I'd ever see you smile again."

Carol fiddled with the hem of her shirt. "You know, for a long time I didn't think I would either."

It would take a while to sink in that she finally could. She wasn't the trembling shadow in the corner anymore, afraid to move, afraid to breathe. Her life was now her own, and she wasn't entirely sure she knew what to do with it, but for the first time in forever she would be the one to decide. No more revolving plans around a ticking time bomb, no more scrutinising every single decision from what to wear that day to how much she could spend on groceries. She was free, and things were going to be very different.

"I was wrong…" Lori interrupted her thoughts. "…about Daryl. I never thought I'd say it, but he's a good man. He's good for you, and Sophia - she's crazy about him."

"Yeah, she is. He's been more of a father to her these past few weeks than… he ever was." Her voice faded out to a whisper, the mere shadows of the past darkening her mood almost instantly.

Lori held her arms out and pulled Carol in for a hug. "I know. It's gonna be hard to forget, but eventually you will… and I'm pretty sure those two are gonna keep you busy."

Carol chuckled at the prospect. Daryl was more like a mischievous older brother than a father figure, but she didn't mind. Sophia's only experience of a father hadn't been a great one. She needed a colourful, fun presence in her life, and Daryl fit the bill perfectly; he was just a big kid. He'd taken a shine to her from the beginning, and Carol couldn't believe the change in her. She wasn't the frightened little girl that she had been. Daryl had chased away the fear, filling her days with laughter and just letting her be. It had brought out the kid in him too, not that he needed much persuading.

"Think they're gonna be a gigantic pain in your ass though," Lori sighed good naturedly, pulling back and looking at the ceiling like it might cave in.

Right on cue, shrieks of girly laughter ricocheted downstairs as the two of them clattered around upstairs like clowns, and Carol knew that Lori was right. In a few weeks she would be yelling at them and wondering how the hell she had ended up with two kids to look after instead of just one.

Sophia scrabbled down the stairs, out of breath and sporting a disheveled hairstyle. She shot across the living room, and Carol nabbed her as she tried to flee her pursuer.

"Not so fast, Missy. What have I told you about running on the stairs?"

"Sorry Mama," Sophia replied half-heartedly, her eyes trained on the stairs as she hid behind Carol, not paying attention. "It was his fault, he started it!"

She followed Sophia's line of sight to where Daryl was, halfway down the stairs and also out of breath but looking highly amused. "Don't start what ya can't finish, Freckles!"

"I don't care who started it, I'll finish it," Carol threatened.

Daryl snorted, his eye roll barely hiding the suggestive glint in his defiance. Carol pursed her lips in mock disapproval, trying to ignore the sparks attempting to ignite inside her. She turned away from him, well aware his eyes were locked on to her like laser beams as she moved to show Lori out.

"We'll only be gone a couple of hours. Unless you wanna stay for dinner Sophia?"

"Oh can I, pleeeeease?" Sophia looked up at her eagerly.

"I guess that would be alright with me," she chuckled at Sophia's bouncy enthusiasm. "Go on."

"Yes!" Sophia moved to throw her arms around her, stopping herself just in time and opting for a gentler approach. "Thanks Mama, love you."

"Love you too," Carol dropped a little kiss on her head. "Be good."

Sophia trotted out the door and Carol leaned in the doorway as Lori turned to say her goodbyes.

"I'll drop her off later… shall I call first?" Lori asked, her voice laced with humour.

Carol huffed good naturedly at her, shaking her head. "Shut up and get out."

Lori nudged her playfully and headed back to her car. Carol watched them both buckle up and gave a little wave as they drove off. She watched until they were out of sight and swung the door shut.

With the click of the lock, Carol felt a wave of nervous excitement begin to sweep over her, Daryl's gaze still searing the back of her neck, fuelling a giddy flutter in her belly and her chest. Slowly, she turned to face him, surprised to find he was no longer on the other side of the room.

"Now," Daryl growled softly, as he slid his arms around her waist, his hungry eyes warming her from the inside out, and his mouth perilously close to hers. "Where were we?"

**_xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOx_**

"Come on, ain't got all day!"

Daryl drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he waited for her to come out of the house. Lori was supposed to drop her off, but the onset of a killer headache had meant she didn't feel up to driving, and Rick had been called out to cover at work. Daryl figured he would go pick Sophia up then maybe go pick up some takeout for dinner.

It still felt weird as hell, living as part of a family and doing 'normal' shit like going to pick the kid up and washing dishes from dinner; before he wouldn't even bother, he'd let the dishes pile high in the sink until he was eating out of containers. He hadn't let Carol do anything while she was recovering, even though parts of him still hurt like hell if he twisted the wrong way. He could tell it bugged her sometimes, not being allowed to do typical housekeeping stuff, but he wouldn't feel right about letting her doing any of it until she was completely rested and back to normal. Sophia was always around to give him a hand and make things as easy for Carol as possible, but it more often than not ended up in towel whipping fights and no real work getting done very fast.

Daryl hadn't really realised just how much he'd changed over the weeks, but sitting there tapping his fingers impatiently on the wheel it occurred to him that he was nothing like the man who'd rode into town not that long ago. Those first few days replayed in his mind. Reuniting with Dale, the closest thing he'd ever had to a real father in his life; meeting Rick and feeling like he'd known him all his life - seeing all the photos in his hallway and being jealous as hell that he didn't have that life, and never would because he was a loser who would more than likely end up like his old man. Then Carol had literally run into him and put the whole shooting match up in the air. He'd found himself longing for something more, something he didn't even know he wanted in his life. He'd always felt alone, even with his old man and Merle, but somewhere in that moment when Carol had bumped into him, he decided he didn't want to be alone anymore. It had all happened so quickly, but it felt right, like it was always meant to be this way. Now he found himself doing the school run and making dinner, tucking Sophia in at night and waking up with Carol tucked under his arm. He couldn't help feeling like he might be the luckiest son of a bitch on the damn planet.

Sophia finally appeared, trudging up the path to the curb and hauling the door of the passenger side open.

"'Bout damn time, thought I was gonna have to come in and put ya over my shoulder."

"Oh quit your whinin', Dixon," Sophia mimicked his voice and stuck her tongue out.

Daryl laughed and started the truck, side eyeing her and secretly loving the way his little traits were rubbing off on her. She would never have dreamed of back talking an adult before, but he guessed there wasn't much about him that came across as adult. He supposed he should try to be more mature for her sake, try to be responsible and all that crap, but she'd never been allowed to just be a kid. He wanted her to have slumber parties, and climb trees and go fishing, and goof around. He didn't have much of a childhood, but he would make damn sure that it was different for Sophia.

"You had dinner yet?" Daryl asked as they pulled out of Lori's street.

"No, not yet," Sophia replied, slightly distracted.

Daryl picked up on her distant tone. "S'up?"

Sophia eyed her old house in the wing mirror. "Feels weird still, driving past the house."

"You miss it?" Daryl asked.

Sophia shook her head. "Nah. Just feels weird. Think it'll take a while for my brain to remember I don't live there."

"Hmm," Daryl hummed in agreement. "Your mama's the same. Just takes time."

They drove in silence for a moment, Sophia's eyes returning to the road as they turned the corner and the house disappeared from view.

"Is she alright?"

The question hit him in the gut like a cannonball and he threw her a nervous look. "Apart from a few niggles she seems alright… why? She said somethin'?"

"Oh no, it's fine. I'm probably just being silly."

"Hey, it ain't silly. You can tell me."

Sophia turned from the window, looking at him uncertainly, like she was afraid to broach the subject incase she got into trouble, or worse yet got Carol into trouble.

"It's probably nothing…" she began, sighing heavily. "I've noticed she's been acting kinda weird, but it's only when she goes into the living room. It's like… I dunno. You ever felt like someone's watching you? She can't seem to relax, not really."

Daryl's heart sank. He'd noticed it too, but after numerous instances of her reassuring him she was fine he'd started to feel like he was being a pain in the ass asking her all the time, and just put it down to paranoia. This was confirmation, and now he had a real problem. He hoped to God Sophia wasn't sharp enough to work out why, but he feared that was unlikely. The kid never missed a trick. Now he had to figure out how the hell he could erase all of Carol's fear, how he could get rid of the last layer of Ed's power over her and put it to rest once and for all.

"I don't know what happened… that day." Sophia looked ahead, absorbing the lines in the road. "Mama doesn't talk about it, and that's okay because I don't want her to. All I know is, he's gone. But I think he's still there, in her head."

"Yeah, I know." Daryl replied. "Gonna take a while longer for her to forget."

"I know, I just worry about her. She's always worried about me, now it's my turn."

"Hey you don't gotta worry 'bout nothin', kid. You let me do the worryin' for both of us, right?" Daryl eyed her reassuringly.

Sophia shrugged in reluctant agreement. "I guess. I can't help worrying a little , though."

Daryl smirked a little at her, his eyes returning to the road only to find a traffic diversion in place. "Ah, shit. Diggin' up the damn road, can't they just leave well enough alone? Guess we gotta go the long way around."

Daryl followed the diversion that took him around the long way and halfway across town. It would add another ten minutes or so on to their journey. Ten minutes longer than he had to be away from her, left alone in the cabin with the voices in her head and the images seared into her mind. Now he'd basically had it confirmed it was all he could think about.

The part of town they were in now looked strangely familiar, and it took a beat for him to realise where the diversion had brought them. He could see her house appearing as they drew closer, everything looking exactly the same as it had the last time he'd visited. With one exception. How the hell did I miss that? Daryl turned off at the beginning of the street and pulled up alongside the house.

"Why are we stopping here?" Sophia asked in confusion. "Daryl?"

"How did I miss that before?" He asked himself, his eyes screwed up in disbelief as he leaned over the wheel to get a better look.

"Miss what?" Sophia persisted impatiently.

Nestled in the overgrown bushes bordering the front of the house was a sign. He hadn't seen it when he'd come back into town and visited the seemingly abandoned property, but now that he'd discovered it, it was all he could see. The wild garden had all but taken it back, but there was enough visible to alert him to its presence. He hadn't thought anything of it at the time, but now it definitely seemed odd to him that her house should have sat abandoned for fifteen years. Her treehouse had been untouched, like someone had just taken a photograph of it and left it out to age in the elements. Surely someone would have claimed ownership of the property after a number of years lying empty?

For Sale.

"Daryl!"

Daryl broke from his thoughts and looked at her. "This was your mama's house… back when we were kids."

"Wow," Sophia breathed. "Mama lived here? Its ginormous compared to our house… I mean, our old house."

"Yeah, it's got a big yard out back, and a treehouse."

"Really? A treehouse?!" Sophia squealed. "That's the coolest thing ever! I've always wanted a treehouse, but my da-… well, I was never allowed."

Daryl's heart could have broken at the way her little smile faded at the thought of her father, and the control he'd always had over her, robbing her of the smallest joys in life. He was gonna make it his mission to banish that black cloud from their lives, make it so that neither of them even remembered his name.

"Hey," he nudged her arm. "C'mon."

"What?"

Daryl unbuckled his seatbelt and jumped out of the truck, heading around to her side and helping her out.

"Won't we get in trouble?" Sophia asked suspiciously.

"Don't see any cops around, do you?"

Daryl steered her by the shoulders and pushed her towards the path that led around the side of the house. Sophia surefootedly picked her way through the overgrown footpath, avoiding the dry swathes of dead grass snaking over it. As they rounded the corner the treehouse came into view. It sat up in the gnarled boughs of the old tree, and Daryl thought it looked even older than when he'd seen it last. It was almost becoming part of the tree, and he couldn't decide whether the moss growing on the walls and roof was new or whether he just hadn't noticed it first time round.

"Wow," Sophia exclaimed. "That's one big ass tree."

Daryl's head whipped around in surprise and he couldn't help letting out a little snort at the mischievous glint in her eye. "Better not let your mama hear ya talk like that, she'll go nuts."

"Can we climb it?"

"I dunno, the floor ain't too good up there, don't want ya bustin' through it and breakin' your neck."

"I'll be careful," she insisted. "Pleeeease?"

Daryl sighed. "If I say no, will it make any difference?"

Sophia grinned up at him innocently and his shoulders sagged in defeat. Before he could answer one way or another she was clambering over the rail and he was following. There was a pattern emerging in his life of women bossing him around and he couldn't help feeling some sort of role reversal. He'd always been the rebellious one when he and Carol were younger, and now Sophia was leading him astray and risking getting them both into trouble.

Sophia leapt at the tree and Daryl had to do a double take; she was half girl, half monkey. He watched in silent astonishment as she hauled herself up the tree, negotiating the wobbly wooden slats and finding purchase on the trunk when the support wasn't so good. The last time he'd tried to climb it he'd felt like an old man, the ascent taking a lot more effort than it used to. Sophia peered over the edge at him, grinning smugly and waiting to watch him attempt the ladder.

"Come on, ain't got all day."

"Yeah, yeah. Nobody likes a smartass," he called up.

Daryl placed his foot on the first rung of the ladder and bounced a few times, propelling himself up the tree trunk, climbing his way to the top of the ladder. He did his best to conceal his breathlessness but the smug look on that little shit's face told him he'd been unsuccessful.

"Stay away from that corner," he pointed. "Roof's been leakin' and rotted the floor."

Daryl watched as Sophia scanned the little cabin in wonder, absorbing every little detail of her mother's past with fascination. It looked like she was lost in the grain of the wood, in the scatter of forgotten magazines on the floor.

"She would always lie in that corner, reading," Daryl snorted. "She was so messy back then. Left everything lyin' at her ass."

Sophia giggled at the thought before her face grew dreamy and pensive. "I always pictured us having a house like this. Like, a house with a proper yard and a treehouse. I feel like I've lived here before. Does that sound stupid?"

"Nah," Daryl smiled. "It don't sound stupid, kid."

Daryl understood what it felt like to want normality. He'd spent enough nights wondering when his old man would come looking for him to serve up a beating, and how it felt to wish that he was part of a loving family that did normal everyday things and not running from whatever gang of lunatics they had pissed off this week.

"Hey," Daryl nudged her gently with his elbow. "Maybe we shouldn't mention this to your mama right now. I don't want her gettin' upset."

Sophia nodded and then paused for a moment, rubbing her chin and looking around thoughtfully, as if thinking something monumental over. Daryl eyed her curiously, fearing the worst, that she was planning something. As she turned and spoke to him, he discovered he was right.

"I have an idea…"


	28. Chapter 28

_A/N: Well lads and lasses not long to go now until 5B, are we all excited? Hoping we get some awesome Caryl moments in the coming episodes._

_Sorry this update has taken so long. As I'm sure you're aware I'm still trying to get over a bout of illness/depression/anxiety/whatever the heck you wanna call it so writing hasn't exactly been forthcoming. That and my friend is expecting a baby and quite frankly he just doesn't want to come out and play! And with work stress on top of all that I've been a right wee misery guts! But thank you to all of you who have had a kind word and generally cheered me up when I've needed it. Special thanks has to go to my best bud Kaoscraze82 because she genuinely has no idea how much she rocks. You're always there for me Em and I know it's not easy and you must want to choke me sometimes, so thank you!_

_Anyway, been sitting on this chapter for a while and I think it's as finished as it's ever gonna be so here you go. It's a little fluffy but I'm past caring. These two deserve some fluff after what theyve been through. _

_Keep the fab updates coming btw guys some awesome stories around just now!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own TWD or any of its characters. _

Chapter 28

Every night the three of them sat down to dinner, chatting over their days happily, and all seemed to be well. Sophia had never looked happier, and Carol loved seeing her face light up from within with each new day as part of their little family. The new life they were making for themselves filled her with so much content and hope, and yet sometimes, she could feel it. She grudged letting it even enter her mind, but she had felt something… a niggling, back there in the shadows. A constant reminder of what had been, like he was still watching her, waiting for her to be alone. Waiting for the day she would break and admit defeat to him, just like she always had. She brushed the thoughts away as quickly as they appeared, hoping their effects would go undetected.

Sophia seemed none the wiser, but she knew Daryl could see it. He had seemed pretty oblivious at first to anything untoward. A few odd glances maybe but nothing that said there was any cause for alarm. Then all of a sudden it was like a penny had dropped and he took an avid interest in making sure she was alright. Something in his watchful gaze spoke to her, telling her that he knew. He _understood_. She supposed part of him must still feel his father in the cabin; memories that were woven into the woodgrain couldn't simply be mopped away or have a rug thrown over them. They would always be there, lurking underneath like some disgusting black spot, festering away until nothing could hide them anymore. He seemed to deal with it in his stride, or at least if it bothered him he never showed it. Daryl tried to avoid talking about feelings, especially his own, so she figured he wouldn't tell her anyway if it did. He handled it all on his own.

She started to feel guilty for even giving it a second thought. This was her life now; she shouldn't be giving so much thought to a voice in her head that was starting to fade out.

And Sophia… She had lived her whole young life in a blur of raised voices and muffled sobbing. Carol wanted her to forget that she ever had another life; to have fun, climb trees, scrape her knees without worrying about being punished for it, even painting her nails. For her sake, she would try to block it out, as long as it took.

"Mama!"

Carol jerked out of her trance, the smell of burnt eggs making her face screw up as she tuned back in to reality and hurriedly turned off the stove. Heaven knew how long she had been stirring the pan, wandering lost in the labyrinth of her own mind. She sighed defeatedly and threw Sophia a half-hearted smile, turning to scrape the burnt offerings into the trash.

"Mama are you okay?"

"Hmm?" Carol replied distantly, looking over her shoulder when she got no reply, meeting with Sophia's concerned little face. "Oh, don't worry about me sweetie. I'm fine."

"You just seem a little… far away."

Carol set the pan down in the sink, fixing Sophia with an affectionate look of reassurance. "My mind keeps wandering off. Things are so different now to how they were before. I dunno… sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure it's real."

"It is real Mama." Sophia smiled up at her. "You don't need to wander off anymore."

"I know." Carol gathered Sophia in for a cuddle. "My mind just forgets sometimes is all. But it always comes back. Sadly not always before I burn breakfast."

Sophia giggled and Carol found herself laughing too. She dropped a kiss on Sophia's head and set to work on breakfast attempt number two, hoping this time she could manage it without burning the kitchen down.

Sophia had helped out, putting some bread in the toaster and making coffee for her mama and Daryl. The three of them sat and ate breakfast, and Carol couldn't help but sense something a little different in the air this morning, something she couldn't quite put her finger on. Daryl was looking at her very oddly, and she had tried to pass it off as just her imagination, but the notion wouldn't leave her alone. Sophia was quiet too; there was no usual pinging cereal missiles at Daryl or feisty banter at the breakfast table. The two of them kept firing each other furtive little glances, like there was a joke she wasn't privy to and they were trying not to get caught laughing. She got up to go to the bathroom and felt their eyes on her until she was out of sight upstairs.

On her way back she heard hushed voices down in the kitchen, causing her to pause midway down the stairs. It was too difficult to make any sense of the whispering, and so she gave up and made herself known. Daryl and Sophia sat back right away in their seats, clamming up and doing their best to look inconspicuous but she knew when they were up to something.

"What are you two all hush hush for?"

Daryl looked to Sophia, trying to hide from Carol behind his hair. His poker face left a lot to be desired. Sophia was a much better actress, fixing her with a straight face and flat out denying any knowledge of anything. She wondered if it was Daryl's rebellious streak rubbing off on her, or whether she'd always just been a little devil in disguise, waiting to come out and play. Either way she had two of them to deal with now, and part of her hated Lori for being right all the time.

"Nothing you wanna share?" Carol smiled inwardly at the two of them trying not to look at each other across the table and shrugged. "Alright, have it your way."

Sophia shot Daryl a last knowing glance before a car horn outside prompted her to scrape her chair back. "That'll be Lori."

She gathered her things and kissed Carol goodbye before trotting off out the door like she had ants in her pants, leaving Carol totally perplexed and more than a little suspicious now. She began helping Daryl to clear the plates and started loading the sink up, well aware that he hadn't taken his eyes off her the whole time. She knew he was building up to something, gathering the courage to bring it up; she could almost feel his gruff voice hanging in the air, the words hovering on his lips just anticipating the drop.

"Y'alright?"

Her hands stilled over the dishes in the sink. She knew exactly what he was getting at, but the part of her that wanted to just gloss over it made her pause to consider her answer. She turned her head slowly, finding his face full of genuine concern that he almost managed to mask so well, but lingering ever so faintly in his eyes.

"I'm okay."

Daryl sighed and rubbed his forehead, his eyes shifting away from her awkwardly. He looked nervous, almost afraid of what he was trying to say. "Look, I know I've been a pain in the ass, checkin' up on ya all the time, makin' sure you were alright, but ya ain't been, not really… an' I know why."

Carol's eyes fell to the dirty plate in her hands, ashamed to finally have been found out. She knew it had been coming for a while, and that eventually she would need to deal with the problem instead of ignoring it, pretending it hadn't been burning a hole in her gut. More than anything she had felt guilty for letting it in, but now she knew Daryl had been inadvertently sharing the burden she felt even worse.

"I'm trying," she said quietly, loath to even admit it out loud to herself. "I thought… maybe if I made myself live with it, showed him that I wasn't afraid, that he couldn't control my life anymore, then he couldn't have the last laugh. He couldn't hurt us again."

"Hey," Daryl tilted her chin, forcing her to look up into his soft blue eyes. "He's done hurtin' you, y'hear me? Ain't nobody gonna hurt you or that kid ever again, not so long as I got a breath in my body."

Carol slid her arms around his waist and rested her head against his chest, loving the way he enveloped her in his warmth, pulling her flush with his body and resting his chin on her head. It was still so new and surreal to her, being able to seek comfort in his arms this way after so long on her own, in that lonely, dark existence with Ed. The smell of Daryl, the strength of his heartbeat against her face, his breaths in her hair, blew it all away and made her feel free again. The smallest things, she realised, were filling the huge void that had been her life up until now. Just feeling someone's love for her in a gentle touch, in an embrace, a kiss… It was everything. It made her realise the importance of shedding her skin and growing, of leaving everything else that had come before in the past. The house was sold, Ed was gone, and no matter how long she stared at the floorboards in the living room, he could never come back. All that mattered right now was the man that had his arms around her, and his twelve year old sidekick. Daryl gently released her and pulled back to look at her and she smiled up at him.

"Come on," he murmured, tugging on her hand as he turned and pulled her towards the door.

Carol shot him a look of confusion as she followed him. "Where are we going?"

Daryl pulled the door handle and steered her outside. "You'll see soon enough."

Carol moved slowly, watching him with increasing curiosity. He had that look on his face again, the one he'd been sporting earlier with Sophia, only now there was an odd mix of amusement, anxiety and what she supposed was excitement etched into his features. It was making her edgy.

"What are you up to?"

"Stop askin' questions and just get in the truck."

Carol squeaked in surprise as he gave her a playful shove and she landed rather heavily in the passenger seat. As he swung the door shut she knew there would be no point pressing the issue. If he was up to something she would just have to let him play it out. She resigned herself to complying and buckled up.

_xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox_

His heart was going like a jackhammer in his ribcage the closer they got to their destination, and he was starting to second guess himself. This was either gonna be the best idea ever or the worst, and the line between the two seemed to be growing fainter and fainter as the lines in the road whipped past them. Still, the wheels were in motion now and there would be no turning back. His hands gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white, his palms sweating like hell with nerves as they drove along. Carol noticed his trepidation and began to look a little nervous herself.

"Are you alright? You look like you're about to have a heart attack."

"Maybe," he said, only half joking. He turned and saw the worry settling into her features and scolded his crappy attempts at humour. "I'm fine, just hang on we're almost there."

Daryl made a few more turns, keeping one eye on her, waiting for the moment the penny finally dropped. He turned into the street he was looking for and saw the recognition filtering through her expression. Daryl stopped the truck outside the house and was almost too afraid to look at her now. Carol sat still, taking in her surroundings, her mouth seemingly out of order, no doubt as she tried to figure out why the hell he'd brought her here. As the seconds stretched on and she said nothing, Daryl grew increasingly worried that this was potentially the worst damn idea he could've had ever.

"Why have we stopped here?" she finally stuttered, her eyes searching his for an explanation. "I don't understand."

"You will." Daryl unbuckled his seatbelt and reached for his door handle. "Come on."

Carol complied, moving slowly as he came around her side to help her down, like she was in a state of shock. Daryl's mouth and throat began to dry up as he watched her gazing fondly up at the big old house. He led her down the path that went around the side of the house and vaulted over the small rail that bordered the garden, the one he'd jumped over hundreds of times as a teenager. He helped her over it and led her towards the big oak tree at the bottom of the garden, coming to a halt under the treehouse. Carol looked up at the dilapidated old shack and smiled softly, a flicker of sadness barely detectable in her eyes. He had to admit it had seen much better days, and he felt bad that she had to see it like this.

"Can't believe it's still here, after all this time." Carol said distantly, her thoughts clearly drifting. "Thought it would've fallen down or been blown away in a storm. We spent so much time up there. Remember we used to sneak out at midnight and just sit in there until morning?"

"Hmm," Daryl hummed. "Yeah, I remember that night we almost got caught too. Your mom was onto us."

Carol giggled at the memory. "We had some great times up there… Look at it now."

The melancholy in her voice caused a pang of guilt in his chest for bringing her here. He hadn't meant to upset her, but in all honesty what the hell had he expected to happen? It had been her family home, but the memories had been somewhat tainted by the path she'd found herself travelling alone after he'd left. He prayed he could blow it all away, that it was going to be enough.

"I still don't understand why you brought me here," Carol turned to look at him. Her voice was breaking up, eyes welling, overwhelmed with being back here after so long.

Daryl pawed awkwardly at the dry ground with his boot. "S'where we grew up. Only place I ever felt like I had a home… a family. Right here, s'where I saw you for the very first time."

"Is it?" Carol sounded doubtful. "Pretty sure we met in school."

"I know, but I was ridin' past on my bike one day an' saw ya standin' here by this tree. Thought ya were the prettiest damn thing I ever saw…" Daryl felt his face warming up and scuffed the dirt, trying to distract himself. "Didn't think you'd want nothin' to do with me…"

"Well you thought wrong." Carol took his hand in hers and he gripped it tightly, like a lifeline. "Fell for you didn't I?"

"Yeah, but I didn't treat you how I shoulda, an' I thought I'd be alone my whole damn life cause of it." His blood was pounding a horrendous drumbeat in his head, terrified that his brain would let him down when he needed it most. His mouth was so dry he could barely open it to speak. "I ain't ever been good at much…"

"Daryl-"

"Wait, let me try to get this out." Daryl huffed a deep breath to gather himself and somehow find the strength to keep going, trying to ignore the tremor in his voice and the stinging in his eyes. "I ain't been good at much… but I know I can be good at this. Look after you, and Sophia. I wanna try… give ya both what ya always shoulda had."

Daryl avoided the intensity of her gaze, instead letting his eyes wander over their entwined fingers again. Words were scrambling now in his head, choking each other until they were indecipherable. Plans he'd made in his head had all but vanished and he couldn't remember what was supposed to come next. The pressure was building in his chest, and he felt it all the way up to his face and ears, the sensation becoming almost unbearable. He rummaged in his pocket and took her hand, placing an item in her palm and closing it. Carol opened her hand and stared down at the key, then at him.

Daryl took a deep breath and bravely sought out her eyes, putting his heart at her mercy. His voice hushed almost to a whisper, the words catching in his throat as he finally found the courage to push them out. "I love you. Always have… and I meant it, when I said I ain't ever gonna leave ya. Nowhere I wanna be except home… and we're here."

Carol's resolve finally crumbled, streaking down her cheeks in sparkling droplets. She had opened her mouth to say something, but only a muffled sob broke free as she fell into his arms and burrowed into the crook of his neck. His throat tightened painfully around the lump that had formed as the moment came crashing down on him, forcing hot tears to spill over. This was everything, the last fifteen years and the last few weeks all stripped right back, unearthing embers that had never quite burnt themselves out. He wound his fingers into the short curls forming in her hair, nuzzling closer to her, feeling like it would never be possible to get close enough. The words alone felt too small to convey what he was feeling, but he knew she'd probably never heard them said by anyone other than Sophia, and he needed her to know, to feel it. He was done chasing after lost time, and he wasn't going to waste another second of it.

"Marry me," he breathed against her ear.

She reeled backwards, her mouth gaping slightly and for a split second he couldn't tell if it had been the right thing to say. She looked stunned, like it had been the last thing she was expecting, and his chest was on the verge of exploding if she didn't say something soon. He searched his brain frantically looking for somewhere to hide, for words to give her a way out just incase, for something, anything to halt this agonising wait, perforated by her surprised gasps for air. Maybe she wouldn't wanna get married so soon after Ed; maybe she wouldn't wanna jump back into something so permanent when she'd only just found her freedom again. Or worse yet, maybe she didn't think she could go there ever again. He really hadn't thought this through, and suddenly he felt like a total jerk. What the hell did it matter if she married him?

Just as he feared the worst, Carol pulled him into a fierce kiss, little joyful sobs escaping with each breath she took in between. Daryl felt all the weight of uncertainty lift off his shoulders as he melted into her embrace. Nothing else mattered now, nothing except her, and right now, right this second. He crushed her against his body, lifting her off the ground slightly. He would have stood there forever, under the shadow of the big old tree where they had started out what seemed like a hundred years ago, with her in his arms.

Daryl set her down again, kissing her gently and sweeping away the salty tracks on her cheeks with his thumb. "Is that a yes then?"

"Yeah," she giggled, reaching up to return the favour. "That's a yes."

Suddenly he remembered the tiny box in his pocket and reached down to dig it out, presenting her with the ring he'd had made, a simple platinum band with a familiar stone set in the middle. Carol breathed a little sigh as she reached out to touch the box, her face lighting up with recognition instantly.

"Is that-"

"Yeah," Daryl nodded. "Wasn't my idea. Was gonna go the whole diamond's are a girl's best friend route, but Sophia said you'd appreciate this more. S'from her jasper, the one we found that day, remember?"

"I remember," Carol croaked. "It's beautiful."

Daryl took her left hand and carefully slipped the ring onto her fourth finger, seeking out her eyes with a bashful half smile. Carol held her hand out in front of her, wiggling her fingers and admiring the striking new adornment. The black and grey marbled stone jumped out against the platinum setting, a flash of warm amber almost making it glow. It reminded Daryl of the forest at sunset.

"She was right," Carol smiled.

"You like it?" He asked nervously, still unsure whether any ring would ever do her justice.

Carol slid her arms around his neck, whispering against his mouth. "I love it."

Daryl gave himself up for another kiss, wrapping his arms around her and resisting the urge to crush her as close as he could. He'd never been so happy in his life; it was like a damn romance novel, but he really didn't give a shit. He wanted to shout it from the rooftops, wanted everyone to know that he was hers and she was his, that Daryl Dixon had finally found where he belonged. Carol smiled up at him and looked at the ring on her finger once more.

"You're crazy," she beamed, still sniffling in disbelief.

Daryl snorted a little laugh in response, well aware he was grinning like an idiot, and relishing every flicker of joy that emanated from her eyes. "S'pose I am a little… gonna spend the rest of my life bein' bossed around by two women… but I guess I can live with that."


	29. Chapter 29

_**A/N: Well dear readers, what can I say? What indeed except thank you to each and every one of you who has followed this story from the beginning and those we've picked up along the way. I know that during the writing process I've laughed at myself as well as cried, and I can only hope to have evoked the same emotions in you too. Our favourite couple have come full circle, so this is where we say Adieu for the time being. **_

_**Big thank you must go to my amazing beta and even more amazing friend Kaoscraze82. She has been my rock through this and RL issues more recently and I couldn't ask for a better friend. She's truly amazing and her knowledge and understanding of Caryl has been an eyeopener for me, and instrumental in telling this story. **_

_**If this wee tale was a movie, the soundtrack would include songs by Lady Antebellum, Carrie Underwood, The Killers and Nickelback. Just FYI... PM me if you're really that interested to know which ones ha!**_

_**Anyway, enough babbling! I need to find a stream for this episode! Enjoy my loves!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own TWD or any of its characters. **_

Chapter 29

Sleep gave way to a dreamy warmth, and a content shiver rippled through her body as Daryl's soft breaths tickled her ear. Carol opened her eyes, her vision fizzling as her eyes adjusted to the dull room. She could see the first light creeping across the sky through the gap in the curtain, promising that the sun would be up before long.

Once upon a time this moment of the day made her wish a hole would open up in the bed and swallow her, and although in reality it hadn't been all that long ago, it felt like eons. The little space she occupied in this bed, snugly tucked into the curl of Daryl's warm body, made that other world seem like something she'd imagined. His arm curled around her, the gentle heat of his skin on hers, it made it all seem further away still. Carol could scarcely imagine any other existence now; _his_ face was starting to blur in her memory. She hoped one day not to remember it at all.

She didn't want to disturb their cozy little nest and wake him, but she so badly wanted to see his face, to watch him while he slept. Carol shifted as subtly as she could, scooting around stealthily on her side to face him. His arm slid limply with her, his fingertips now grazing and tickling her bare back as she snuggled in closer to him. She couldn't help but think Daryl was the most beautiful man she had ever laid eyes on. He was rugged and more often than not scruffy, but it only made her love for him swell. Everything about him made her heart almost burst with love, and looking at him while he slept like a baby she felt a wave of contentment wash over her. A smile tugged at her lips, her hand reaching up to sweep a curtain of hair out of his eyes. Her smile widened as she admired the engagement ring on her finger. Yesterday came rushing back to fill her with a welcome glow.

It had taken her by surprise when he'd whispered the proposal in her ear. She hadn't given much thought to marriage; everything was still so new despite having loved him for so long, but she would've been lying to say it hadn't crossed her mind at all. When the words left his mouth however, there was only one answer she wanted to give him, but it had stuck on the way out, struggling to squeeze past the lump in her throat. He'd looked so terrified when she had just stood there with her mouth gaping open, but eventually she'd managed to wipe out any trace of doubt. She knew what she wanted, and this time she knew it was forever.

Her hand lingered at his face, stroking back wayward dark strands. He didn't stir and she lost herself in every strand of hair, the rough jut of his chin, his perfect mouth. He had always been handsome, and age had only deepened the beauty she saw in his features. She didn't know how long she had lay there just staring at him; she could have lay like this forever. A rough, hushed drawl broke the spell, his breath vibrating warmly, making her shiver.

"It's rude to stare y'know."

"I wasn't staring," she lied, her smile widening.

"Liar. Can feel your eyes on me." Daryl shifted slightly, his eyes still closed.

"You got a problem with that, Mr Dixon?"

"I ain't no piece of meat, future Mrs Dixon," he growled, stretching out like a cat and opening his eyes to her.

Carol let out a little chuckle. "Hmm, Mrs Dixon. I like it."

"Just as well, huh? You've said yes now, can't go back."

"Well you'd better make sure I don't have reason to," she grinned devilishly, her hand wandering south.

"Didn't I give you reason enough last night?" He teased, feigning indifference.

"Oh I'm going to need reminding," Carol insisted, relishing the fact that she'd barely touched him and his body was betraying him. "I forget things easily."

"Oh you do huh?" Daryl grinned defiantly, pinning her hands above her head and stealing a kiss. "Well we'll just need to make it more memorable then."

She giggled under the pressure of his mouth on hers, but humour quickly turned to lust as he released her hands and softened the kiss, his hands skimming down her arms and lower still. He took a breath to look at her and her hands found the plains of his back. Carol lost herself in his eyes, her fingertips flexing gently across his back making his skin prickle with goosebumps under her touch. There was a time when he would have flinched at the softest of touches on his marked skin, but now his need to be touched, to be loved, had seemingly overridden those kneejerk reactions, like he craved it. She could feel the change in him, how comfortable he was to be this way with her. He held her in an intense gaze, his fingertips tracing her outline, following the curve of her hips and grazing the tops of her thighs. Her heart picked up in her chest at the gentle trail his fingers left on her skin as he moved in to claim her mouth again. His nose gently brushed hers, his shallow hot breaths on her skin melting her from the inside. The softest kiss on her lips sent a jolt through her body and ignited a flame that only burned for him. She could feel his body respond to the warmth and the closeness, and suddenly there was a fire spreading inside her, and a steady thrum in her chest.

Her tongue gently found his lips and he willingly surrendered, allowing her to deepen their connection. Carol's heart clenched under his careful touch, an ache in her chest that she didn't think she would ever be able to get enough of. Hands that were wound into her hair trailed a path down her neck to the rise of her breasts and settled there, kneading her so tenderly it sent a rush of longing straight to her centre. Suddenly he was on top of her, his eagerness now incredibly obvious, grazing her stomach as he peppered her neck with hot, wet kisses. She felt her breaths become quick and ragged, his mouth closing in on her breast, taking the time to lavish her with attention she never could've imagined in her wildest dreams. His lips barely touched her skin as he kissed her, growing in devotion as his mouth closed around her nipple, swirling gently and making her gasp sweetly. He was so gentle, his every movement thoughtful towards her.

Carol's fingers buried themselves in his hair, reveling in the sensation, his warm mouth setting every nerve ending in her body alight. Ed had never shown her this much adoration or respect; Daryl seemed intent on blowing that statistic into oblivion with every kiss and caress. Heat bloomed inside her, an unbearable longing fighting her for control. She knew he was trying to make her feel loved, to give her the affection and pleasure he thought she deserved, but her need had gone beyond this careful attention. A raw, red blooded hunger for him was now running rampant, surging through her veins and throbbing in her chest. She took his hand and guided it desperately to where she ached for him and he took the hint, slowly torturing her with his thick fingers. Her hips moved unbidden against his hand, sending jolts of heavenly pleasure rippling through her body, and accelerating to a frenzied rhythm. Carol pushed against his fingers hard, chasing and chasing, begging for him to just push her over the edge. She was almost there, that desperately sweet tingling ready to crash over her, and she bit down on her lip to stifle a low, braying whimper. She locked him in a vice grip as her body convulsed, the sensation all but paralysing her. Aftershocks ripped through her as she came down from the clouds and the stars faded from her vision. She lay for a moment, accepting a chaste kiss from him, waiting to get her breath back while he held her close.

Far from feeling satiated, there was now a burning hollow inside her, her body craving him to the point of delirium. Daryl looked surprised when she forced him onto his back and straddled him. With her hands spread on the flat of his stomach for support, she eased herself down slowly and breathed a little gasp as he filled her. This position was doing all sorts of things to her and she had to take a moment, settling her hips around him. He looked mesmerised by her as she started rocking slowly, her fingers splayed out across his body, back arching as Daryl touched places inside her only he had ever been able to. He fit her so perfectly, every movement feeling more snug as he grew inside of her, his strong hands on her hips anchoring her to him and pushing himself further still. Carol reluctantly gave out a little moan; she felt like this was going to be over pretty quickly, her muscles tensing up as the sensation tried to take over her. She gripped his hands, steadying herself for a moment, unwilling to give in so soon, wanting to make it last for them both. His hands stilled her, giving her time to regain control, and she bent down to kiss him.

Daryl rolled her over gently, so that she was on her back, his hands on her body suddenly obliterating her previous train of thought. She could feel her climax building in her core, the heat spreading between her legs as Daryl pushed himself into her again. Her hips were moving on their own now, grinding up into him, grasping for every last inch she could get. She could tell Daryl was getting close; his arms were starting to shake under him and his breaths were coming quicker. Breathy grunts with every thrust were fuelling her arousal, making her want more of him, even though she knew she couldn't take much more. She was ascending to a dizzying height where it became almost too much to take; an inexplicable limbo between pleasure and panic. Her nails raked at his back and arms as that sweet spot hung just out of reach like an itch that needs to be scratched, and she did everything in her power to get it. Suddenly he shifted position, his thumb intimately caressing between her legs, and she felt a deep surge building inside her.

Her body seized up, leaving her momentarily unable to draw breath as the climax rocked her, shockwaves pulsing through her until she thought she could stand no more. It was too much all at once, but she didn't know how to make it stop, or if she wanted to. Her head lolled helplessly as she writhed beneath him, letting the tremors wash over her.

Daryl finally gave himself up, crying out softly against her. Carol felt a swell of raw emotion as he rode out the waves, lowering his body into her embrace, his heavy breaths in her ear. She let him lie still for a moment while they caught their breath, cradling his head in her hand, his damp hair tangled in her fingers. She was trembling. His skin was burning up and they were both slicked in sweat, but Carol couldn't help but think it was the most beautiful, perfect moment they'd ever shared.

Daryl slowly rolled over, pulling her into his chest, breathing into her hair. Carol snuggled in, winding her leg around his, feeling sleep tugging at her eyes once more. She traced lazy circles on his chest and felt her eyes lolling with every rise and fall of his chest.

Outside, dawn had finally broken.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was turning colder now. Fall had stripped everything away, back to the bare bones, ready for life to start over again. Crisp shells littered the sidewalks and gutters, scraping in the cool breeze as it passed through. The first hints of winter were creeping in. Early morning frost crunching underfoot, and the fog her breath made in the air. She remembered a little girl who used to puff big breaths into the cold air and watch them curling upwards until they disappeared. She used to pretend she was smoking, and she could still remember the way her mama used to try to look stern, all the while trying not to smile. The memory tugged at the corners of her lips as she picked her way through the thick carpet of crunchy leaves.

It had been so long she worried that she might forget the way, but from the moment she stepped out of the truck something inside her had started beeping like radar. Despite her uncertainty, she'd begun to walk, following the signal, letting it pull her in. Of course she knew where it was. She'd always known. She just never imagined she'd be back again after all these years. Ed hadn't placed much importance on the subject, deeming it a waste of time, and she'd only challenged it once. After that she didn't come again. Now it occurred to her she had wasted time. Too much of it.

"Hey Mama… Daddy."

Carol hovered uncertainly in front of the headstone, not quite sure where the right place to stand was. The caretaker had obviously done his best, but it was clear to see that this was a grave nobody visited. Any remaining aunts and uncles she had lived in different states, and in any case she didn't know them very well. After her parents had gone Ed was all she had, and it became apparent quite quickly that he was going to make sure of that. Nobody had come looking for her either, which she supposed she was grateful for. It made it easier to forget.

Looking down at the cracked stone a bitter cold stabbed at her. Nobody had been here in a long time to lay flowers, and although she felt like she probably shouldn't be here, somebody had to feel _something_. She bent down and swept the scattering of dead leaves away, laying the flowers at the base of the stone.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around."

Carol felt at a loss for words. Every apology that materialised in her head felt like a burnt offering, like none of it was going to make the slightest bit of difference. The wind breathed life into the wrapper around the flowers, the rustling giving her a moment to regroup.

"I know sorry doesn't cover it." She reached out to pick at a patch of moss on the stone and let out a heavy sigh. "I should've taken better care of you."

All those years wasted with Ed, shutting out everything she held dear at one time. It made her heartsick. Now that he was gone it all felt even more pointless. She had stayed away from them to stay in his good books, and in the cold light of day it wasn't a fair trade.

"I was afraid." Carol admitted heavily. "Not just of him, but… what you would think of me for staying with him. You raised me up to stand on my own two feet and be strong, but after… there didn't seem much point. He was all I had left. Now he's gone too."

She never mourned Ed's passing, although now he was gone she felt the void, examining the wounds he had left in her soul, like running her tongue over a tender gum after the removal of a rotten tooth. The source of the pain was gone, but poking her tongue into that gap still touched exposed nerves, peeking out from under the surface, where they'd remained hidden. It wasn't a total loss though. She had gained something wonderful from those dark days, and every time she heard her laughing, or saw that freckled little face smiling up at her, she forgot the pain.

"You have a granddaughter by the way… Sophia. She's so clever, and funny." Carol laughed softly, thinking of her. "I know this'll sound weird Mama, but sometimes she reminds me of you. When she looks at me, or little things she says… it's like you're still here…"

She chewed the inside of her mouth against the outpouring of grief trying to break free. It had been a long time since she had cried over her parents, but somehow it seemed to hurt anew, like she'd found them only to lose them all over again. Sophia only poked holes in her barriers. She would never know her grandparents, and all Carol could give her were memories.

"I wish you were." Carol swiped at her cheek with her sleeve. "Sophia would've loved a grandpa to mess up her hair, get up to mischief with, and a grandma to tell him off."

Carol imagined what they would be like now if they were still alive. How much they would've adored Sophia, telling her every day how she was just like her mama when she was little. The stories they would've told her. She let her thoughts drift to another time in her life, sprawled on her belly in the living room with her chin in her palms reading whilst her mama made dinner. She could feel the carpet sticking into her elbows, and she could smell the aroma wafting in from the kitchen. The clatter of crockery rang as true in her ears as the chatter from the birds now watching her in the trees. Daryl knocking at the back door for her, sneaking out at midnight, getting caught skipping class; Carol wanted to remember all of it, every little detail from her dad's cringey jokes to her mama's inhuman ability to see everything. She would even take the times she'd cried on her mothers shoulder. Even _that_ time.

She hadn't thought of that time in forever, but it came back in a rush of colour, her mama's words echoing as if they'd been spoken only five seconds before.

"_You know there's a saying… if you love someone, let them go. If they come back, they're yours… maybe he__'__ll come back…"_

Only now, after the passing of so many years, did it finally click, and she found herself beginning to laugh through fresh teardrops. It was the most delayed 'I told you so' ever, and she couldn't help but find it funny.

"You were right. You were always right," she giggled. "He came back Mama. I let him go and he came back."

She could still smell her mama's perfume, lingering in the back of her memory, and she held on to it. It was totally overwhelming, and mind boggling to attempt to understand time. How she could be crying against her mother's sweater one minute, feeling the damp fabric against her cheek, and be standing in the chilly autumnal breeze the next, with only the wind to dry her tears? It had passed in a blink, and made her all too aware that time was precious. People took it for granted, and she was guilty of that too, but from now on she vowed to cherish every moment.

"Okay, no more crying, I promise. You said I would smile again one day and you were right. From now on I'm gonna try every day, and when I do I'll be thinking of you both."

Carol dried her face and stood up, her knees popping from being crouched beside the grave too long. She looked down at the chipped stone, making a mental note to have it replaced as soon as possible. Now that she could, she vowed to make it up to them both, give them a memorial they deserved and tend it like it should be.

"I should think about heading back. We're fixing up the old house. It needs a little work, but Lori and Rick said they're gonna help us clean it up, make it a home again."

From what the real estate agent had told Daryl, the man who had lived in the house had been somewhat of a hermit, with no visiting relatives as far as anyone could tell except for the home help who brought him groceries once a fortnight. The house was a little dishevelled and hadn't even been decorated since she was last in it, and it would take a while to get rid of the smell of cats, but Daryl and Sophia had ignited a newfound hope and energy inside her, and she was ready for the challenge. For the first time in a long time, there was hope that everything was going to turn out alright… better than alright. This was how it was always supposed to be.

"It'll be beautiful. Somewhere nice for Sophia to grow up, where we can be a family."

She hadn't realised her fingers were freezing until a warm hand slipped into hers. She didn't even hear him approaching, she had been so lost in her thoughts. He gave her a little half smile and looked solemnly down at the stone, rubbing his thumb across the back of her cold hand. Carol squeezed his hand and sniffed away the last of her tears, hoping he wouldn't read too much into the fact she'd been crying.

"I'll be back to see you again soon, I promise." Carol finished. "I love you both."

She turned to Daryl and gave a little smile, just to let him know she was okay. He pulled her close as they turned to walk back to the truck. His arm around her instantly warmed the early winter chill trying to penetrate her clothes. He'd given her the space to do it on her own, but she had been glad of his hand to warm hers up at the end. For all his flaws, Daryl was very attuned to people, her in particular. Sometimes she thought he understood her better than she did herself. He knew when she needed space, and when she needed closeness, and he always timed it to perfection. She would always love him for that.

"Y'alright?" He asked softly as they took their seats in the truck.

The low sun bathed the inside of the truck with gold, highlighting everything that she loved about him. His eyes danced in the early glow of dusk, every facet and fleck of colour shimmering back at her, still possessing the power to take her breath away. Everything that had come before, all the heartache and the pain, melted away to nothing under his gaze. Whatever was still to come, she knew she wouldn't be facing it alone, or with the same trepidation that she had before. She sighed contently, her eyes drinking in the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with, and she knew things were working out just how they were supposed to.

"Yeah," she smiled warmly at him. "I think it's going to be."

xox


End file.
